I knew that we would be using Rocco’s personal car when I left with him and Tolgan, as he had explained that the limo was for work only. But I definitely wasn't expecting this…

*Hooonk! Hoooonk*

“GET OUT OF THE WAY PUSSY ASS BITCH!!!”

Normally when you think of Rocco, you'd imagine a military style jeep that had its doors removed, or maybe a big pickup truck.

*Hooonk! Hooooooooonk*

*GO DRIVE A BICYCLE ASSHOLE! GET OFF THE ROAD!”

And what I was met with, was one of the smallest electric smart cars I’d ever seen. The kind that you had to fold the seat forward so that the even smaller back seats could be used. I was sure they were just fucking around with me… But no! This was Rocco’s car. I had hoped that maybe looks were deceiving and he was some sort of speed demon with a bunch of illegal speed parts hidden in his car… But oh how wrong I was.

*HOooooooooOOOOOOOOOOnk*

“YOU DRIVE SLOWER THAN MY GRANDPARENTS FUCK!!!”

OK, that one was pretty good. The problem all these drivers were having was how safe Rocco was driving… Actually, “safe” doesn't even begin to describe the way Rocco drove. It took ten minutes just to start driving there, as he checked seatbelts, airbags, mirrors, brakes, everything. At every single intersection, he would come to a complete stop just to make sure it was safe. He would stop at yellow traffic lights completely, and wouldn't start driving again until the green light had been on for at least 10 seconds. The speed limit for this area was 40Kmph… And he was barely going 20… And this was a single lane! So as you can imagine, a line was beginning to form behind us. Oh look, another yellow light that Rocco is completely stopping at!

I was at an impasse, trying to decide between two options. On one hand, I just wanted to watch this unfold as these two mountain men hunched over in the front seats. On the other hand, I want these two to get out of the car and scare the ever loving shit out of the people behind us. Just imagining the faces of terror when a bear and a walking mountain get out of this tiny ass clown car– Actually, that's way too funny, this isn't even a debate anymore!

“Hey guys!” The two of them turned around to look at me. They were surprisingly calm and docile despite the constant harassment. Maybe this is why they say the largest creatures in nature are relaxed– Because they don't have any predators.

“HOOOOOOOOOOOONK HOOOOOOOOOOOONK*

“MOVE!!! DON’T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE!!!”

“I think that guy behind us needs help.” They both made confused expressions as I continued. “Yeah, I think something is wrong with his car, he’s clearly asking for help.”

“Uh… Are you sure Donny? Looks like he is just mad because of our speed.” You're absolutely right, Tolgan. But while I’m definitely not an asshole, I can be a bit of a bastard sometimes.

“Oh no, no, no! That’s actually new slang for “I need help with my car”. He’s just too probably embarrassed to admit it. Maybe his wife is with him or something, you know how people get when they’re trying to impress somebody, especially when it’s a guy and a girl!” Tolgan and Rocco then looked at each other and after a confirming nod, started to get out of the car while saying “Maybe he really needs help! Let’s see what's going on!” By the Void that wasn't sarcasm, he's serious! This is so funny I'm definitely getting lost in the void when I die!

*HOOOOONK*

*YEAH BITCH! CO— Good evening gentlemen, ha-ha-ha fine night we’re having– Help? OH NO, NO, N-NO! NO! I don’t need help! NO! DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT!!! You– I’M SORRY! PLEASE DON’T KILL ME!!! NO! NOBODY IS THREATHENING ME! DON’T WORRY!!!! NO JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!! I'M SORRY I WILL NEVER HONK AGAIN!!!”

And after that, not a single car horn was heard the entire drive there… Yeah, I know I’ll be lost to the void when I die but, meh, that's where all the fun people are at.

*******************

Tolgan chuckled as he said “I can safely assume that you’re happy Donny?”

Happy?! HAPPY?! Of course I’m not fucking happy. By the void I was euphoric!!! I must have pulled a muscle the way my face hurt from smiling so much! I was in heaven! And not the normal heaven! I’m talking five oiled up cat beast-kin in bikinis heaven– Actually scratch that, this was even better!!!

“Sir… I want to kiss you, can I kiss you– I will kiss you!!! Is this a D&D bar– I think this is a D&D bar… THIS IS A D&D BAR!!! BY THE VOID I CANT BREATH!!!”

Tolgan just laughed as he slapped my back in a friendly gesture. I didn't even care about the bruise it would leave tomorrow! It’s a really freaking DnD bar! And it’s only an hour away from the penthouse– Actually scratch that! Nobody drives like Rocco, so make that about half an hour from the penthouse. BY THE VOID I FOUND A D&D BAR!!!

“I’m glad you're satisfied with it, Donny. Even I did not know about it until a couple months ago. It is how they say, on a word of mouth only basis.

I can see that, and I completely understand why. This is a place for nerds and geeks to go crazy. This is a place where you can yell “EAT MY FIREBALL BRIGHTEYE”, and instead of the usual judgmental stares, you’d probably get a clap for taking down a TPK monster.

And I know why it's not easy to find, because on the outside the place looks shifty and rundown. Truthfully when Tolgan brought me to the door I wanted to run. The entrance was screaming *Zandria’n Organ Trade”, but my attention was caught by a small plaque that read “The Dirty Mug”.

The bar itself was massive, with everything being made of different grains of wood and being built in various fantasy styles of architecture. There were stuffed heads of dragons and manticores and paintings of heroes and landscapes that would take your breath away adorning every wall. There was a stage set up for what looked like karaoke, and in front of it was a massive dance floor in the shape of a D20!!!

The bar counter itself was huge, spanning across the entire back wall of the building, with two Tolgan sized barkeeps behind it and stools lining the front of it. Multiple round tables littered throughout the interior that could hold around four people, and grand tables settled against the other walls that could host at least six. These tables had lips around them and a felt lined top, the perfect environment to roll dice! It was beautiful… NAY! It was perfect!!! My thoughts were interrupted when I saw the menu situated above the bar, and based on the description of the drinks I could recognize it all..

“BY THE VOID! He’s drinking Dragon piss! And look! Purple slime! Dude, even the food!? Manticore legs!?!”

But unlike me, who was very close to getting a heart attack from all the excitement, Rocco was completely wide eyed as he looked towards me. “He’s drinking WHAT!?”

“Ah don’t worry Rocco!” I couldn’t resist teasing him a bit. “The drinks are safe… Well, mostly safe… You don’t have blood pressure issues do you? Actually, how’s your poison resistance?”

Rocco was a darker skinned guy, but he was so pale it was hard to tell. Thankfully Tolgan wasn't evil like me, and chipped in to the other big guys' luck.

“Hahaha, Do not worry Rocco, Donny is just messing with you! Relax! Now let us take a seat and order something!”

Most of the bar was full tonight, but after some searching we were able to find one free round table close to the corner. Then a very busty—*COUGH* I mean a very pretty waitress approached our table.

“Hail adventurer’s! What will it be?”

Both me and Tolgan were going through the menu, while Rocco was completely frozen. His face was screaming “By the Void! What am I reading!?!”

Tolgan saw his expression, and came to his rescue. “Let us start simple for now! Hmm… Me and Rocco here will have a portion of your Dragon’s Leg. I’ll also have a Wizard’s Mead and… Hmm… Just give him a Mind-Flayer for now, he’s only Level one, so let us give him some time to adjust!”

As the busty waitress, I can’t remember her name, was smiling at Rocco, the poor guy's cheeks just burned red! Then she turned towards me, waiting for my order. I was nervous, but after realizing she too was probably a nerd like us, I proclaimed what I wanted.

“Hmm… Basilisk breast and for my drink… Goblin-Snot!!!”

This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.

After she left I spotted a “smoking allowed” sign and pulled out my cigarettes, offering one to Rocco and Tolgan. While Rocco accepted, Tolgan only gestured that he didn't want one. I lit mine and Rocco’s cigarettes and began looking around as I collected myself and man… I FUCKING LOVE THIS PLACE!!!

“Felix and Chris are going to be so jealous!!! I definitely need to tell them about this place!”

But Tolgan just slapped my back– OK, that one I did feel, as he let out his rough bearish laugh.

“Too late my friend! I already told them about it! But no worries, we can all come when they visit! They informed me that they will be attending this year's LARP!”

“Larp?!”

Rocco responded with even more confusion, as we slowly introduced him to our nerdy little world. And now it was time for me to excitedly explain!

“It stands for Live-Action-Role-Play! And it’s freaking awesome. Short-story-short, without getting into too much detail, you grab fake weapons, make some epic armor, grab a few bean bags for spell casting, and then you bash each other to the death! Well if it’s a Death-Match. You also have Capture the Castle, King of the Hill, Quest… And so on!”

I missed the last two LARPs because both Felix and Chris were not here and Greg couldn’t make it last time because of his work… I’m actually really looking forward to it this year! Hahaha! I can’t believe they were able to trick Sandra and Laura. Tolgan explained that they should be coming here in a couple of months. And those two ladies think it’s because of some promotion… But those two are just giant nerds who want to be here for the LARP hahahahah!!!

“Mr. Porter can I—“

“It’s Donny, stop with the mister part, please Rocco, I already told you I’m not mad!”

Rocco nodded and gave a small smile before easing up, I guess it was still eating him up inside.

“What Rocco is trying to say, Donny, is that he is sorry for the trouble! Claris is also thankful. Not only for her Son, but also for keeping quiet.” Shit… What is this feel good comment? stay away, positive feedback!

And then Tolgan brought up that topic

“So you are working for girls now? Are you a personal assistant or something?”

I thought about playing stupid, but Tolgan probably won’t fall for that. He might even be offended if I try to lie to his face. Plus he works for the girls, so it should be okay to talk about it a little…

“Slave, apparently.”

Both of them were simply quiet, until they both burst into laughter. They were so loud that the guy currently singing had to stop. Even after drawing attention they still didn’t stop. After several minutes of this, Tolgan finally calmed down enough to speak between breaths.

“I can imagine! Let me guess, Vermilia!?”

I nodded thoughtfully, as I realized this could be a good opportunity to learn about these girls. They’re having me live with them for the sake of my new job, so maybe I should learn some Do’s and Don'ts. Would’ve been fucking nice to know about the Bike thing!!!

“Hey, guys, let me ask you a few questions about the girls. Since you have seniority, I want to know how you feel about working for them, or rather, your opinions on them.”

Good thing I waited until just now to ask, because as the waitress came back with our drinks, the both of them took a full swig of their drink and asked for another one. Then they looked around, as if waiting to see someone listening in on their conversation… Weird, but OK.

“Very well, Donny… But this conversation stays between us! Got it?!” I nodded slowly as the mood got a bit tense. They were dead serious, as if the girls were horrible. I’ve heard some rumors on some deep web forums, but they can’t be that bad. Actually… Anything with that much money and power could do whatever they wanted, so maybe…

“I will start with Vermilia then. She’s a demon, like Ozeth, but unlike him, I have never seen her full demon form. I have heard rumors but… Nothing concrete.” The demon race, one of the youngest of all the races coming out of the Void portal. Contrary to popular belief and religious texts, they actually aren't that bad. At worst, they just have extreme personalities and will always take things further than others. Tolgen saying he's never seen her fully demonic form is really uncommon, and it's usually only demons with a wholly different appearance that are like that. Demons like that are called Archdemons, if I remember right, and that means… Yeah, I definitely never want to see that!

“Scary lady…” Rocco said softly with wide eyes as Tolgan continued.

“Vermilia is, in one word, a Diva. It’s her way or no way. She would easily kick a baby just because it was in her way, and most of the dark rumors about the girls are about her. On my first day, about… 5 years ago? Yes, My first day on the job, I watched Vermilia storm out of a concert hall, mid performance… Apparently, the lights were not to her liking. When the manager of the hall came to complain, well… He was found hanging by his entrails the next morning. “

Holy… SHIT! By the Void! Even I knew that anyone who crosses paths with her knows not to upset her!I had heard plenty of dark rumors, especially about her, but this…!

“Very Scary Lady!” Rocco chipped in with more words of wisdom.

I don't know when, but I guess I must've finished my drink while Tolgan was talking, and thankfully the waitress came by at just the right time with another round.

“Xera… Well… Xera… Hmm… How do I say this…” While Tolgan struggled to find the right words, Rocco dropped a few to help Tolgan along.

“Dead eyes.” I arched an eyebrow in response, but Tolgan snapped his fingers and pointed like that was exactly it.

“Exactly! Don’t get me wrong! Xera knows all the staff names, and she will even wish good morning to everyone. But as soon as you start a conversation, you can see she is annoyed. I have tried talking with her a few times but was met with that look. Her eyes would just look dead. She was there, but not really there… Ugh… How to explain this better.”

“Doesn’t care, pretends to be nice.”

“*snap* Exactly! She just simply doesn’t care. Her look is just screaming *why are you bothering me, go away*. I was very shocked when I experienced it for first time. Always feels like you’re talking to somebody who is clearly annoyed to have any conversation with you. Kind of makes sense, her being a Fallen and all.”

Tolgan shrugged as he downed another drink. I couldn't really say anything because of how surprised I was. I mean, I’m not saying they’re lying. But the Xera I’ve met till now has been nothing but sweet and kind. But it’s also possible I just didn’t notice it, or I'm just too new and she hasnt run out of patience yet. I’ll just have to see how things turn out… But a Fallen Celestial, huh? Despite the name, they have no relation with the Celestials. Just gave them that name since they look like the antithesis of one. While Celestials have pale, bright skin tones, and are often very, well, light, Fallen have graying skin tones and have this darkness about them. And then there was the matter of their tattoos that covered their skin like they were some kind of sacrifice. Fallen had a bad reputation from all the wars they’ve started. Fallen were easily the most despicable of the three races, with almost 80% of all war crimes either being committed or invented by them. A few centuries ago they were wiped out, not by war, but by economic destruction. They were systematically removed from every society, and with no one trading with them, and not having fertile land, they basically all starved to death. Now their numbers are dwindling, and everyone acts like nothing happened… Typical mankind bullshit, commit genocide and forget about it.

And all three of us threw back our drinks again… By the Void. I mean… I know I should not judge people by rumors. But Tolgan and Rocco are OK people. These aren't just simple rumors, but actual experiences, could those two really be like that…? Oh, the busty waitress with another round! Bless her heart!

“Then there is Ranva a—“ This time Rocco jumped in without waiting for Tolgan.

“Brat!” OK! Yes, Ranva is extroverted and energetic, that’s for sure, but to call her a brat?I guess this must have a story too.

“What Rocco meant to say is, well, she is like naughty child.” That one I can get behind. “Never follows script, never follows rules. Do you have any idea how many people are traumatized with bikes from her alone?!” That one I can COMPLETELY get behind. NEVER AGAIN! “Basically, telling Ranva not to do something is yelling “I dare you”. There is reason why she is the second most hated person by staff members. It is extremely difficult to work with her. And if you try to explain something to her, she won’t listen just out of spite! Anything you say falls on deaf ears, and you just waste time… Our boss, Ozeth, had amazing hair before… Now it is pathetic, mostly from her.”

“Even Tolgan had hair before, Then he had to babysit Ranva for 2 weeks.” I laughed at Rocco’s joke until I realized that he was actually serious. OK, the first two I could see being true, but this one…? Yes, Ranva acts like a kid sometimes and she can be overly energetic like she's the personification of ADHD, and I can completely believe that part about “I dare you”. But not listening at all? Maybe I’m just biased, but at the Flea-Market yesterday, Ranva was actually behaving herself very well. Whenever I explained something she would listen intently… I don’t know, maybe it’s just my opinion of her for now. I guess I’ll need to see for myself. It looks like the staff has some strong opinions against Ranva… Wait! Second most hated?!

“So who’s the number one? Who does everybody hate the most?” It felt kind of obvious though, since they talked about all but one girl. And the way Tolgan and Rocco went quiet… Actually scared me a little. They downed their drinks right then and there, downed the next round she brought and asked the waitress for two more after that! Holy shit!

“Luna… Or how they like to call her th—“ –Rocco comin’ in again with the assist– “The Queen Bitch!” At this point, I chose to stay silent. I had no intention of interrupting them. Not only were they already totally drunk, I was also pretty slammed as well. This was definitely turning into the after work bitching session. But they stopped talking completely as well as they looked around back and forth as if they were looking around for someone listening in… Spying on them?

“Ummm guys?”

“No… No! I don’t want to say anything, she will find out–”

“The Witch Queen Bitch!!!”

“RIGHT YOU ARE ROCCO! HEEEEY!!! BAR WENCH! ANOTHER!!!!”

Well, they’re drunk, that’s for sure! And as much as I wanted to say this surprised me, I really couldn't comment with how little experience I had with the girls. But Luna always made me feel like I could trust her… Not to mention, if she’s such a “Queen Bitch”, how was she able to make that smile…? Oh, that damned smile… But they way these two were acting in fear, with only the liquid courage to get them through it… They were spitting venom on Vermilia when they weren’t that drunk… But apparently they’re too scared to complain about Luna. I think this is a good time to panic regarding my new job.

Maybe the girls just keep a mask on in front of the staff, to keep some sort of image. The way they describe the girls is nothing like how they are on stage, much less at home! But who knows, maybe I'm wrong and they're right, but only the ultimate power of time will tell in the end. Be it life, love, death, sadness, happiness. You name it, time controls it, and time will be the end of all… Wait, what the fuck am I talking about actually… And holy shit why are there four empty glasses in front of me?! And the time was passing so fast– HA! TIME! HAhahahahah! I think I overdid it this time– Pffff, TIME!!!!

“Hey you!” Somebody tapped my shoulder, trying to grab my attention. As I turned around, I was met with three guys looking at me with complicated expressions. I couldn’t really tell if they were upset or angry, or just confused…. Pffff, time! Ahaha

“Aren’t you that guy! The one who flipped off everybody on Jara’s stream?!”

Which just made me chuckle! Oh boy! Usually I would be worried regarding this situation. But right there across me were the two biggest monsters in all of Ch—“

*Snoreeeeeeeeee*

“No mommy! Rocco doesn't want vege– *Snoooooreee*”

Who were both hugging each other while fast asleep… MOTHERFUCKER!!!