Ranva

“Morning! Wait, why are you all just sta— By the void!!!

I was just waking up and on my way into the living room when I saw Luna and Vermilia standing in the entrance hall. I was confused until I saw what they were seeing.

“I know, right?!” Luna agreed.

“I have no words, I…” While Vermilia was clearly more than impressed.

The penthouse, which was always a complete disaster without any caretakers, went through a total transformation. I actually closed my eyes and pinched myself just to make sure that I wasn’t still dreaming— Nope! Still clean!!!

“Look!” Luna pointed toward the elevator excitedly. “There are more than nine garbage bags next to the elevator!” Then she turned and ran to the seating area. “I knew we had two chairs! I told you one was missing!”

While Luna was excitedly gushing about how one of our big chairs finally showed up and how that explained the massive pile of garbage, Vermilia made her way towards the bathroom. She could be heard from the living room with a pleased tone “Everything is arranged and folded. Both the washing machine and dryer are actually working! It seems it was never broken, just perhaps we didn’t know how to turn it on— Oh!”

And her tone went from pleased to bemused as her voice got slurry like you could hear the smirk on her face.

“Interesting, the bathroom is spotless, except for my bra on the shower head.”

I threw a glance at the ceiling and noticed that our chandelier was also clean, and there were no socks and shoes stuck to it. My daggers were also arranged in front of the Neon Magic poster… good! He didn’t take it down. After all three of us were done with our inspection, we followed what smelled like food to the kitchen. We were cautious, as that was the last spot left to check, and we left it for a reason… Nobody has entered that kitchen for at least two weeks. I don’t even want to imagine what was going on inside.

As we opened the door slowly, we found Xera clearly enjoying herself with a look of pure happiness and bliss as she brightly smiled at us.

“Oh! Good morning girls! Come join me fast! We have some poached eggs and cold cuts! It's all delicious!”

“… I… ummm… Are you the one who made the breakfast…?”

Vermilia was right to be afraid. Last time Xera tried to make anything that was not mashed potatoes or boiled eggs was a nightmare… We actually had to buy two more floors, just to make sure each one of us had a bathroom available nonstop, for two days. None of us can cook for shit, and Luna was the worst. I refuse to even try to remember that nightmare. Her cooking has actually gotten us banned from an entire city.

Xera just chuckled with an amused expression. She knew what we were implying.

“Don’t worry, it wasn’t me. Donny prepared everything for us. I woke up fifteen minutes ago and everything was ready and waiting for me after I saw how clean everything was!”

I’m lucky I’ve got trained reflexes, as I could just barely side step of of Luna’s tails that had shot upright in delight as she took a sip of the fresh coffee that was prepared on the table.

“This coffee is incredible!”

To which Xera just nodded and smiled “I know right! Donny made that too, and according to him coffee is the most important meal of the day.”

“You mean breakfast?” Vermilia said as she sniffed the coffee. After a satisfied smile she also took a sip, the coffee satisfying her steep expectations.

“No, he said coffee even when I asked… He actually specified the word meal.” Xera scratched her head with a nervous chuckle as she motioned for us to sit “Then he picked up our biggest mug, you know the one we usually use as a decorative piece? And asked to borrow my phone as he left for the balcony. He’s very sweet. He said he doesn’t want to smoke here since we’re none-smokers. I told him it’s fine since it's very cold on such a high floor, but he insisted.

I couldn’t control my expression. Already I could feel a giant grin that was screaming *I told you so* as I started bumping Vermilia with my elbow. She rolled her eyes as she took a seat at the table.

“Fine, fine! I will admit, I am impressed.”

“Oh more than impressed I would say!” Luna was already seated at the table, filling her plate up to the rim with the poached eggs and cold cuts.

“Oh, don’t give me that! Let’s be honest here, I wasn’t the only one who was second guessing our choice last night! I know all of you were thinking about it!” Even though Vermilia was complaining, no one was convinced since she was also filling her plate alongside Luna and Xera.

“True, but isn’t this ironic, considering it was you who said it first?!”

I had no intention of letting this go. After Donny left for sleep we started to talk. We just invited a complete stranger into our home without the usual extensive background check and interviews. Usually our caretakers and housekeepers need to sign five times the amount of paperwork that Donny got last night. Not to say we regret it, or that we were scared… There were just some secrets in our life that needed to be kept. One wrong move and we will be the dream job for any paparazzi. These last few years… not to mention even further back… some of our secrets are things we can never let loose.

Truthfully I wanted to speak up for him… But I agreed with Luna and Vermilia. That’s why I was so surprised when Xera came to his defense. She got angry, like really angry! Xera was half yelling at us for being selfish, suddenly second guessing our decision after promising to help him. We were more than a little surprised about her outburst, and Vermilia even threw a little tease if she maybe liked our new “Slave”. After that she was too embarrassed to talk anymore with blush covering her face. It’s not surprising now though, since we’ve all seen the way she’s been stealing glances at him. Everything happened so fast, I was still processing everything from yesterday. To think, this guy lied for us… No, it isn’t the lying that was shocking. It was how much trouble he got into without backing down that was the most shocking part. According to those two dorks it’s because he’s “A smart-ass not an Ass-hole”… But it still doesn’t make any sense.

“Listen girls…*munch*… I know everybody is still unsure about all of this— pass those eggs —and I understand you all completely— Vermilia are you done with the ketchup —I feel the same way.`` Luna’s words would have been a lot more believable, were it not for her constantly stuffing her mouth full of food and moaning in pleasure every few seconds. “But I believe this will be good for us! We clearly need assistance with the apartment, and we’re pressed for time as it is. Somebody taking care of these simple and mundane tasks will make our life much easi— pass the sugar please, oh and some milk as well, by the void this smoked pepperoni goes amazingly with these eggs!”

“You mean we just don’t care?”

Luna ignored my comment as she filled up her plate for the third time as her cheeks puffed out from a full mouth. Holy shit, where does she even fit all of that!

“What about Ozeth? We still need to check with him, I should probably call him a—” Xera couldn’t even finish her sentence before she was interrupted.

“Oh, Ozeth love the poached eggs so Ozeth is fine with Donny staying.”

We jumped in fear as Ozeth suddenly spoke. He was casually sitting between Me and Vermilia, cutting one of the poached eggs like it was the most normal thing to do. In the name of all the forgotten seals that hold the void in bay! I forgot how he likes to do that. I like to think that I could move with the shadows, and be pretty sneaky when I need to. But this pudgy Demon makes me look like an elephant in a china shop!

“CAN YOU STOP DOING THAT?! NO, ACTUALLY, HOW DO YOU EVEN DO THAT!?!” Luna was screaming at him as she picked up a chair she had knocked over when she fell out of her own.

But as usual, Ozeth smirked "Ozeth has a mastery!"

“That explains exactly nothing!” Vermilia had one hand over her heart, trying to control her tone.

“Like Ozeth said, Ozeth has a mastery.”

Xera on the other hand was just frozen in place, looks like her brain stopped working from the sudden shock. Well, no point in waiting, the smell of the breakfast is too alluring anyway. I finally took a seat and joined them in piling my plate.

Donny

“Well, this confirms it. The view is worth it!”

And it really was. I have been sitting on the balcony for the last 15 minutes, just looking over the city. Since this was easily the tallest building in South Chrono-Haven, I could see basically everything. The only other buildings that even came close to the penthouse were in other districts of the city in the distance.

“I think I finally understand why every evil overlord tends to reside in the tallest building… But I’ve wasted enough time already.”

Xera was the first one who woke up today, and her face was priceless. Not to mention the look of pure happiness as she tried the breakfast made last night’s venture worth it. Considering how happy she seemed, I figured I’d take my chances and ask to borrow her phone. Luckily for me, she was more than happy to oblige.

Now the main issue, the first thing I did was call the police and report my apartment. Some tired sounding officer answered the phone and listened to my plight. After only a few moments, he interrupted me with a rude “What did you expect! Saying bullshit like that on a live stream!!”. He informed me that the Chrono-Haven Police Department was currently very busy regarding a string of murders, and it would take some time to look into it. .

“…Shit!”

Since Mr. Nice-Officer was so delightful and helpful, it was clear he already knew who I was. I decided to look into a few social media sites… And, oh boy! The stream I had with Jara was already posted on every platform you could think of. Luckily, my face was blurred, and my name was censored on all of them. I guess the police actually cared enough to do at least this much damage control. They couldn’t stop the people who watched the live stream, but at least they could control what the rest saw.

The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

But the title… God damn, that title. That one was a winner. *Crazy bastard abuses children in his rage towards INFINITY L00p*. Let me start with a compliment to Jara’s editor. They were actually able to make it worse… So much worse. Cutting off some parts, making my voice deeper and more menacing… Holy shit does that person have skill. They even edited the video to monochrome a few times, with some added dramatic evil music. So now everybody who didn’t watch it live, gets to enjoy a better version.

And the comments! Oh boy, the comments! Every single post had thousands of them, and almost every single comment was a death threat saying they were gonna find me and teach me a lesson. Maybe one in every twenty was not explicitly a death threat. Those were mostly people who hated Infinity L00p or just enjoyed being trolls. The internet trolls were on my side now… Oh how low I have fallen. Although one comment did bring a smile to my face;

“I BET HE GETS STEPPED ON BY MISTRESS VERMILIA! I want to be stepped on by mistress Vermilia!!!”

For sure it’s that guy from the concert.

“Ah, my brother! One day we will meet, and the stories they tell about us will be Le—” I didn’t even get the chance to finish my sentence before a hand was classed on my shoulder.

“Hey!”

“AAARGHHH!”

It gave me a shock bad enough that I fell out of my chair. As I took a deep breath to calm down and turned around, I saw Ranva with a giant shit eating grin… She was clearly enjoying my suffering.

“Hahah! Still got it! Take that Ozeth” Ranva was happily pumping her fist like she won something… But more importantly—

—“IN THE NAME OF THE VOID, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU WOMAN!” I screamed lightheartedly with a hand over my heart, while the other was pointing a finger at Ranva “People could die from shit like that! Don’t make me put a fucking bell on you!!!” Ranva cocked an eyebrow as I took a few deep breaths… Wait— Oh shit!!! Did I just scream at my employer? AND TELL HER I WAS GONNA PUT A BELL ON HER!?!

As my face flushed and I could feel the heat on my cheeks, Ranva just started laughing as she took a seat in one of the chairs.

“Hahah! You wish Donny! Faster guys then you have tried!”

What does that even… Well, at least I’m off the hook. And looks like there was no need to be afraid last night. I expected them all to act like stuck up rich girls, but Ranva and Xera are surprisingly down to earth.

“*Ahem* Anyway… Did you like your breakfast?”

Ranva smiled gently as she silently pulled a knife and started cleaning under her nails. What’s with this woman and her knives?

“Yeah! It was awesome! Xera is the one who usually cooks, but this was much better than her!” I had to hold back from shouting that boiling eggs and mashing potatoes is not cooking. The same way I had to keep myself in check this morning when Xera actually called that cooking.

Regardless of my internal debate, Ranva continued without looking up. “Plus, the place is spotless! Our maid quit three weeks ago, so the place was a bit more cluttered than usual.”

“THAT HELL ON EARTH WAS AFTER THREE WEEKS!?!” Of course the lady fucking quit! What the hell did I get myself into! Yeah, definitely a cardboard box with newspaper!

“Hahaha, yeah, sorry.” She actually had the nerve to laugh… She laughed… SHE FREAKING LAUGHED!!

“Ranva—” She went quiet after I called her name “—There was a fucking honey badger in the kitchen… A FUCKING HONEY BADGER! IN THE NAME OF THE FORGOTEN SEALS THAT HOLD THE VOID, WHY IS THERE A FUCKING HONEY BADGER IN YOUR APARTMENT!!! NAY! WHY IS THERE A FUCKING HONEY BADGER IN THIS CITY!!!”

“Did you just use the word ‘nay’?” That’s what you got from all of this…? By the void I’m getting out of this hell hole. But before I could complain, Ranva suddenly jumped out of her chair exclaiming “OH!!! Wait! You found Angel!”

…Sorry. What!?

“Oh thank the seals! It’s actually a support animal! It was given to us by Ozeth a couple of weeks ago! well, more like it was given to Vermilia. Something about “sensitivity training” and “attitude adjustment” bullshit.”

What in the….

“It was so cute and cuddly! It would just let us pet it and snuggle in our laps! That’s why we called it Angel! It was always so nice and lovely!”

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

“RAAAAARGH!”

The blasted animal that I thought was a trash pile was trying to bite me in a flurry of rage as I was doing everything in my power to keep it away from my special place!

“BACK FOUL CREATURE! STAY AWAY FROM MY NO-NO ZONE!!!”

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

“Vermilia actually took a liking to it.” —Why am I not fucking surprised— “She also started training him personally.” —Yep, not F-U-C-K-I-N-G surprised at all— “We thought it ran away! Where is it now! Let me see the little guy!!!”

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Finally after what felt like hours of battle and struggle, I was able to open the balcony door. After mustering all of my strength in one last surge, I threw the animal off the building.

“Adios El Diablo! May you burn in hell with the rest of your kind! *spit*”

*screeching*

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

…

……

………

“Unfortunately he got out. He ran away when I went to throw the first batch of garbage.” Burn in hell you hell beast!

Ranva had a disappointed expression and gave a sad smile. “Oh… I see. Well, it's OK, I'm sure he’ll get picked up by the animal center!”

I hope so! They can put him down then! Fucking devil incarnate!

“Anyway! Donny, what are your plans today?” Now she’s completely changing the subject away from the cleaning… Ah, screw it. Considering I used to live in a dorm with six guys, some dirt and loose clothes isn’t so bad… Wait a second… Holy shit! I almost thought these girls were normal!

“Well, I was planning to go back to my place and see if I can salvage anything.”

“Oh cool! Vermilia is fine with you taking one of her cars. She has a few throw away cars, so she won’t mind.”

I arched an eyebrow in confusion at her words.

“Well, the library where you work is a good two hours drive at least, and it’s better than using public transport anyway. Plus you’ll need to give them your letter of resignation. Not that we mind letting you keep two jobs, but juggling them both might be too hard.”

Oh… I never told them. Ranva could see my confusion and misunderstood me, as she started waving her hands in front of her, clearly getting flustered like she stepped on a landmine. “Actually no, nevermind! Forget I said anything! Of course, you wouldn’t leave your job for us! So don’t wo—”

“—Ranva…” I interrupted her “…I got fired.”

“Huh… Wait! Why?!” She was completely shocked.

“My boss saw the livestream, and she fired me.” Also, when you think about it, I kind of left the library half destroyed… I should be happy that firing me was the only thing she did.

At the mention of the livestream, Ranva looked away in shame, as if it were her fault… Anyone could tell she was torn up about my situation. When you look at it, you could say I got into this trouble because of them. But honestly, it was mostly me being an idiot. I could have easily gone Paragon… But I lost my cool.

“Oh… I-I see. Well, you can still take one of Vermilia’s cars! You need to get the stuff from your apartment anyway!”

“Like I said, no need to bother yourselves! I don’t have a driver's license anyway so I’ll just grab a bus.”

At first my words only caused her confusion, but it was quickly drowned by a smile on her face. “Then I’ll give you a lift! I can also help you get things together, and it’ll go way faster! I don’t have anything to do until evening anyway!!”

“You sure?”

“No worries Donny! It’s the least I could do!”

Well, she is going out of her way to offer... Why not take her up on it? Plus, it will be much easier with help and faster than a bus. Bus routes here take twice as long from the frequent stops to all the traffic. At least being driven there will only and hour and a half.

“Thanks! Give me a few minutes to finish my smoke and freshen up.”

Vermilia

“Morning all—*cough* Enjoy your breakfast!”

Donny ducked into the hall leading to our bedrooms as he choked on his own words after he saw us. It’s not at all surprising, considering Luna was only wearing her lacy black lingerie while she ate. I wonder how long it will take her to notice that she can't walk half naked with Donny here.

“Hey— Huh? Where is Ozeth?”

Ranva came inside after Donny, clearly confused that Ozeth disappeared… Again.

“Apparently, he has a mastery.” Xera said.

“Also Vermilia—” Ranva called for my attention as she pulled her jacket on and laced up her boots. “—no need for the car. Apparently Donny got fired because of the livestream, so there’s no need for him to turn in any resignations.”

Her words caused me a bit of confusion as I arched my eyebrow, while Luna suddenly stopped eating. Xera looked towards the bathroom with guilt.

“He really did get into so much trouble because of us…” Xera said solemnly.

“Yeah… Are you going to finish your egg by the way?” Xera and Ranva were just looking at Luna with a deadpan expression, as she leaned over and forked the last egg onto her plate. We could tell that she was upset about it but was putting up a facade. I just sighed as I motioned with my hand “ Feel free I suppose… How much did you eat? You’ll get sick, you know?”

“Come on! I can cheat for one day!” Which she followed by stuffing her face again.

“By the way, Dear. Where are you heading? Don’t forget we have a meeting with Ozeth later tonight. We’re getting those new phones as promotional material.” Xera spoke as she slowly started to clean up around the table.

“Just going to give Donny a lift, we’ll be back soon!” And with that, Donny came out from the hallway and walked towards the elevator, pointedly not looking toward us, or specifically Luna, rather. After a quick goodbye from Ranva and Donny already in the elevator, they were on their way. As the door to the elevator closed, all three of us gave a small sigh… Poor bastard.

“Poor Donny…” Xera’s voice was full of pity as she took a deep breath.

“That’s hell he’s walking into…” While Luna actually stopped eating, as she made a prayer gesture with her free hand.

“…Better sooner than later.” There are not many things that can scare me… No! There is almost nothing in the world that can scare me… But that… What he is about to experience… Poor, poor, bastard.

*****************

Donny

I was on my hands and knees, summoning every ounce of my will just to not barf the coffee from this morning. My eyes were full of tears and I was constantly gagging trying to keep it down. Ranva on the other hand, casually got off her bike and took off her helmet, making her long hair sway in the wind

“Hey Donny, you good?”

After a few more involuntary gags, and few more extensions of willpower I was finally able to answer her in a weak voice.

“…That was a red light on the twenty fourth street…”

“Umm, yea?” Ranva casually scratched her head in confusion before stretching.

“…And another one on Doran’s Lane...” Finally, the strength was coming back into my legs as I started to get up.

“Mhm.”

“Not to mention the one on every single crossing from Timekeeper Square to Fallen grace.”

“Well yeah… And?” I was just staring at her with a deadpan face. I was sure she was fucking with me… But after a few moments of silence, Ranva shrugged and put her hands behind her head.

“Red is just another form of Yellow. It’s basically the same color when you think about it."

“NO! IT'S NOT!!! WHAT THE FU— By the Voi— *barf*”

The roll on my constitution save was a critical failure. I was back on my knees with my morning coffee coming out the wrong end.