By the void I can’t believe I was still alive! And I thought my step mom was bad! She's a fucking professional driver compared to this lady!

When we arrived at the garage, Ranva took us to the back where we found a white bike with green stripes. Personally I had no idea what the model or the name was, I could only say it was awesome to look at. It looked like one of those speed bikes that you could hear two streets away when somebody passed. Ranva pulled out a helmet from a nearby locker and told me to sit behind her. Now I actually had a few hints before the drive started. First off, it was the absolute dread and pity that the security guard at the garage gave me. Second off, was the prayer gesture from the valet as we passed the entrance. And the final sign was Ranva insisting three separate times to make sure I hold on tight.

But me, being the dense idiot that I am, didn’t pick up on any of that! I was even embarrassed as I took a seat behind her. We were pressed so tight together since it wasn't really sized for two, and I had absolutely no idea where to put my hands… That lasted for all of three seconds. As soon as she turned on the bike, we went from 0 to 200! Drifting on every corner, passing around trucks and cars with just an inch of distance… And the traffic lights… She told me later that she thinks of them as “traffic suggestions”. And how the fuck does a person even fucking drift on a bike going 200!!!

I was screaming the whole time, I even started crying and praying to whatever void god was willing to listen to me. I seriously thought I was going to die a few times, in fact I think I did die at one moment when I thought I heard my deceased grandma's voice. Yesterday it took Luna more than an hour and a half to get from my apartment to their complex… But with Ranva it only took 20 minutes… Even now, as we were going up the stairs to my apartment, I was thinking of every possible excuse not to come back with her! I don’t care if I have to break my arm! I’m getting out of that shit!!!

Once we finally arrived at the 7th floor and found that magical “number 19”, I could only sigh in exhaustion.

“DIE YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!! YOU WILL BE BACK EVENTUALLY!!!”

A wonderful graffiti phrase and my picture with a target were sprayed and stuck to the front of my apartment door. Ranva was quiet with an expression of complete shock… But for me? Nothing new. I shrugged as I opened the door and Ranva finally spoke- Well, more like she growled.

“Those fucking bastards!”

My apartment, like yesterday, was something out of a nightmare. I swear there was even more garbage now than before. I just let out another sigh as I motioned to the kitchen/dining area.

“I think one of those chairs is still alive… Just stay away from the yellow puddles. It shouldn’t take too long I hope.” Luckily I remembered to bring some disposable rubber gloves as I started to go over all the junk and bullshit.

The garbage alone smelled so bad it was overpowering my nose… Now with the piss and burnt furniture left overnight… That was something else. I glanced a few times towards Ranva, but she was too preoccupied growling and scowling around the apartment to catch me.

After about half an hour I was done salvaging and was taking inventory of my loot. Three pairs of socks, one pair of underwear, and two shirts… Everything else was way beyond saving. Actually, there were a few things that could be saved if I did some deep cleaning… But fuck that! Kill it with fire, I say! There is no way I will ever be able to wear something like that again!

*Ring, Ring, Ring*

“Hey! What’s up!”

Ranva was busy answering the phone as I made my rounds one last time, hoping to see if I actually missed something. Good thing as well! I realized my PC might actually be salvageable. Yes, it's way more than just damaged… but, no way in hell I am giving up on my girl. Then I felt a hand on my shoulder, and as I turned I saw Ranva handing me her phone.

“It’s for you Donny… Oh, and I'll be back, so you just wait for me here, got it?”

As I took the phone I motioned for Ranva that it was fine, and pointed towards the door.

“Don’t worry about it Ranva! You can wait for me outside and I will join you in—“ But I got interrupted as Ranva gave my shoulder a squeeze with more force than necessary… Holy shit, does she have a grip!

“I said to wait for me! Don’t leave before I come back!” She was very intent, actually bordering on anger. I could only nod as she left me alone. After a few more seconds of watching Ranva leave and close the door, I put the phone to my ear.

“Hello?”

After a few moments of silence, my ears were ringing from the scream that came out of the phone's speaker.

“BY THE VOID, THE MOTHERFUCKER LIVES! HEAR THIS FELIX! THIS SON OF A BITCH DOES ACTUALLY KNOW HOW TO USE A PHONE!”

Chris' voice blared from the phone… but that was still better than the voice that came after him.

“I guess you’re right Chris. Good day, Porter, I hope we're not disturbing you?”

Everyone remembers something that happens in their childhood, actually no, it happens even in adulthood. You fuck up something bad, you come home expecting a beating or screaming from your parents… But it’s much worse. They just look at you with sadness, and give those dreadful, soul crushing words “I’m not angry, just disappointed.” Well Felix was a master of making you experience that moment over the phone… By the void, this is going to be a long day.

“Ummm…. Guys, I can explain–”

But they were having none of it, as Chris interrupted me to start up again.

“Save your fucking excuses for somebody who cares!”

“Wait, wait, wait!!! My phone is broken because of Rocco, and I cou—“

And of course, Felix came in for the assist.

“House phones, internet, net cafes, emails, emergency contacts… Please continue, dig yourself deeper.”

…This is going to be worse than the bike drive… Actually, when I think about it… WAIT, NO, NEVER AGAIN!!!

Ozeth

*Ring, Ring, Ring*

“Hmm? What this number? Ozeth’s never seen it”

Ozeth answered his phone, expecting the dreadful telemarketers.

“Hey Ozeth, I need a favor.”

Ranva was on the other side… She sounded mad... Ozeth suddenly thinks telemarketers would be better.

“How may Ozeth help Ranva? Whe—“ But Ozeth didn’t even get a chance to finish his sentence as he heard the sound of something cracking… which was followed with a–

--“ARRRGH!! I’M SORRY! PLEASE, PLEASE STO—*crack*!”

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And then the sounds of screams and pleading stopped suddenly after another crack… Oh no!

“Ranva… Please tell Ozeth that you’re not doing what Ozeth is thinking you are doing! You can't beat fans eve--”

But Ranva just let out a chuckle as another crack was heard.

“Ah! Wait Ozeth, no, no! I'm not beating up fans!”

“Oh thank the Void! Ozeth doesn’t have time for a cl–“ Then, what sounded like a door breaking down was heard as people started to scream–

–“WAIT, PLEASE! WAIT, WE’LL LEAVE! NO STOP!!! PL---*crack* AGGGHHHH”

“I’m beating up shit that thinks they can mess with our– Wait a second *CRACK*!”

“AGHH!!! MY ARM, MY FUCKING ARM!!!”

Our what!?! Property? Stuff? Pride!?! By the void! Ozeth hopes nobody touched Ranva’s bike! Ozeth cannot deal with another Road-Head Porcupines incident… And those bikers only wanted to inspect Ranva’s bike… Ozeth really misses his hair…

“Ranva... How many times Ozeth has to tell you not to beat people for little things… please tell Ozeth that you didn’t use your daggers!”

After a few more screams and pleadings from her victims Ranva finally started to speak again.

“What? NO! I told you! I’m not beating up anybody like that! I’m teaching these pieces of shit who thought they could ambush Donny a lesson! Wait a sec– Hey you! I see you! Come back here!!!”

Ozeth is confused… And why is Donny involved… This is the second time Ozeth was confused because of Donny!

“…Explain to Ozeth then.”

“Well Donny wanted to go to his apartment to check if he can salvage something. So I gave him a lift!”

…Poor, poor Donny. Ozeth can’t even imagine how much he suffered… Ozeth will NEVER again take a ride on Ranva’s bike… Poor, poor Donny.

“Then while we were in the apartment I noticed these bastards spying on us. So I decided to teach them a lesson… Hey! Why the fuck you using fire powers in the building you idiot! *BOOM* *cough, cough* Shit! Why did that fire extinguisher explode so suddenly!!!”

Well… Ozeth can imagine you probably picked it up. and then threw it at him. Ranva apparently never heard of P.A.S.S. (Pull-Aim-Squeeze-Sweep)… But Ozeth is smart enough not to comment.

“So when I confronted them, well, first I found these two bastards with wooden bats! Apparently they were waiting for Donny to come back to beat him up!”

“Don’t tell Ozeth you used the bat then to beat him up!”

“What! Of course not!” Oh thank the void “I broke it in two, and then used both ends to clean his ears since he didn’t listen to my warning… I think he died from shock actually” No! Ozeth is pretty sure he died from you sticking two giant pieces of wood through his ears… But Ozeth is again, smart enough not to comment.

“Then more showed up… and it kind of got out of hand… Oh! Cool! A guy just went completely metal! Give me a second!!!”

Then Ozeth again heard the sound of roars and screaming, then the sounds of things breaking and bones cracking after a few moments. After a second of silence, Ranva was back on the phone.

“Huh… Only his skin is metal, the inside is still normal…” Ozeth can feel his hair losing color again.

“Ranva… how many dead?”

But Ranva just answered with pride in her voice, like she did her best and she should be praised.

“Only three! Including the guy that died from shock!” -You mean wooden stakes through his skull- ”Oh wait, make that four… The metal guy isn’t getting up…”

Ozeth loves his rare Perma-Frost desk, Ozeth needs to remember that INFINITY L00p is the reason Ozeth has such an amazing desk, Ozeth also needs to remember that Ozeth is building a new mansion… Ozeth will survive… somehow.

“Ozeth… Ozeth will send the cleaning crew by the end of the day…”

Ranva actually yelped, sounding worried as she started to plead to Ozeth

“Wait! Ummm… can you maybe… I don’t know, make sure… ummm… that it gets clean in about 15 minutes”

Ozeth feels that Ranva must be smoking something weird…

“Ozeth says impossible!!!”

But Ranva was having none of that!

“Please, please, please, please! Donny doesn’t know anything! Please!!! I don’t want him to see these people and…ummm… scared… Yeah! He will get scared if he finds out they were waiting for him. And they wanted to beat him up!"

Ozeth is sure that Ranva knows if Donny sees this he will run away… from her! But as usual, Ozeth is smart enough not to say anything. And besides, Ozeth is surprised that Ranva actually cares… Ozeth wants, no, needs to see where this goes.

“*sigh* Very well Ranva… give Ozeth at least an hour”

“YAY! You’re the best Ozeth!!!”

Ozeth knows… and Ozeth will burn in hell when he dies… but for now. Ozeth will enjoy his new Perma-Frost Desk, and the soon to be mansion.

Donny

“Yeah, sorry one more time, I'll talk with you guys later. Bye.”

Holy shit I can’t believe I survived that. Well at least they'll chill out now… Although Felix is probably going to send me a whole document on just how disappointed he is with me. And what the fuck was all that banging! Is somebody doing some renovating or something?!

But before I could think anymore, Ranva came through the door to my apartment with a bright smile.

“Hey! Sorry for the wait!”

My vision immediately snapped to her hands.

“RANVA! Is that blood!?!”

But Ranva just shrugged as she made her way towards the kitchen area.

“What?! No! Of course not, haha! Some lady… umm… ketchup. Yeah! Some lady just spilled some ketchup! And it got all over me!"

She wore a nervous expression while she walked to the sink and started washing off the ketchup… Why is every fiber of my being telling me to let this go?

But before I could press her any further, Ranva made a frown as she pointed towards my bag.

“Only that?!”

I just scratched my head in annoyance “Yeah… I was at least hoping to salvage more clothes, or at least see if some of my savings or documents were here… But nothing, what I have here are my only possessions.”

Ranva then smiled as she started to pull something out from the inner pockets of her jacket.

“Well no worries! Luna figured out that you’ll probably need to do some shopping. So here!” Ranva handed me a thick envelope and boy did I feel the weight lift of my shoulders. I was still not sure how I was going to ask for an advance. So I was beyond relieved when she gave it to me first.

“Thank you Ranva! I owe you and I wil–”

I couldn't finish my sentence, my brain stopped functioning as I opened the envelope… I saw it was stuffed full, but I thought it was going to be mostly 10$ bills. It was not. These were all 100$ bills, 1… 6… 18… 32! 32000$ in cash!!!

“Ummm…. Ranva, are you serious?”

Ranva was confused at first, but confusion left her face quickly as she realized I was reacting to the money..

“Yeah, yeah I know. Sorry!” –Sorry?! What the fuck are you sorry for?! “But that’s all the cash we had on hand. Luna is going to the bank later, and you’ll get your own credit card.”

My jaw was stuck open from the sheer shock… Surely she couldn't be serious! But contrary to my belief, Ranva misunderstood me completely “Hey! Don’t look at me like that! If you want only cash, then take it up with Luna!”

Holy shit she is serious! I need to fix the misunderstanding!!!

“No! NO! Wait, wait, wait! That’s not what I meant! I was just shocked because of the amount! Do you guys pay on a yearly basis or something?!” Saying that I was in shock was an understatement. I knew the pay in the library was horrible. If Tilse was in a good mood, and she decided to give me a bonus, I would maybe get about 15k per year. She had to be paying me a yearly salary, because this was more than double that. On top of that, I know that the average pay in the city was about 27k per year…

But Ranva arched her eyebrow like I was a complete idiot “…What?! Of course not! Who do you think we are! It’s for this month! Well, half the month, really…”

My brain definitely suffered some psychic damage at that moment.

“Yea… lets... Let's just go… I think I found everything.” I think that I should talk to Luna… And I’m definitely going over that contract extensively when I have time.

“AH! WAIT!”

As I was about to leave and put my hand on the door knob, Ranva put a hand on my shoulder and pulled me back. Confused, I looked towards her to see another nervous expression, same as the one from the ketchup incident.

“Umm… Haha… L-let’s just sit and relax. For about… An hour!”

“Umm Ranva, if you wa–“

“No, no, no! Don’t worry, let’s just sit and relax ha-ha-ha!”

Why do I have a feeling… I just bit off more than I could chew with this new job…