Author note: This Fiction is not dead! yet

jokes aside, if you find anything questionable or any mistakes, make sure to tell me!

thank you~!!!

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“You idiot! how could you wager such a thing, in a petty bet?!”

“Hey! It wasn’t petty!! at least.....didn’t i rank up to E.....?”

“Yeah, you ranked up to E!, you could have ranked up to C and had access to the city, you idiotic shit!”

“Ahh!! shut up! i did what i could, and won! as long as it was interesting, i couldn’t care less about something as stupid as ranks!”

in the end, Alex only wanted enjoyment.

his reason for refusing to go to heaven is that because its never changing.

but to his surprise, the heavens was pretty interesting in its own way.

ranking up, was yet, just an additional objective to that of having an interesting life.

“Damn...! you really don’t know how it feels to be in rank G, right?!”

for once, Drake was showing his true frustration, unlike his usual approach.

Alex gave a relived smile, thinking that this young man(?), who they have only met for a day, have become so close that they can reveal their true selves to each other.

“Why are you smiling!?”

“no, nothing at all~”

just as Alex said that, he opened the door for the Inn

“Welcome~.....it’s only you, Kid.”

“Whats with the “its only you, kid....” and that sorrowful look, Old man?!”

“Well....i thought you’d move in the city, never to be seen again. so why are you here?”

the old man said with a glitter of disappointment in his eyes.

“Listen to me, Master! this idiotic, piece of human garbage actually lost his Big Karma Coin!”

“He lost it? then why not look for it??”

“No no....this guy wagered it! and lost!!”

as soon as Drake said that, the old man’s eyes turned dark.

whether its from disappointment, or from rage, the old man went silent.

that's when my stomach started acting.

the thing, one of my worst nightmares......was trying to come out of my bottom hole.

the old man, who heard my stomach’s doing its thing, suddenly looked up....smiling.

he was smiling.....but his eyes weren’t.

it was an empty smile.

but what left him, shock me to the bones.

“Ahh~ if i remember correctly~ i was so mad at you, i fed you some rotten eggs~”

as soon as he said that, i ran toward the bathroom.

i took a right after the counter, and before me were some stairs that led to the Inn, and a single door that led to the bathroom.

i quickly opened the door and entered.

right in front of me, i saw the toilet.

while on my right, a mirror was hung on the wall and a sink bellow it.

i quickly took off my pants and jumped toward the toilet

“Safe~!”

I cant really poop while my pants are between my legs....i just cant!

i don’t think anyone in the world hates poop as much as i do.

so as to get rid of the hate and finish with my business, i began singing a song.

“Old man~ i hope you die~ thank god i don’t know your name~ because if i did, i would totally curse you~”

it started out normal, but then...

“Everyone in the club wanna~make poop~everyone in their car wanna~make poop~everyone running late~just make poop!

When you're dodging traffic cause you gotta take a dump~ No matter how good you drive you'll always hit a bump~ But you will get home now sooner or later~ But cross your fingers that you have toilet paper!”

a whole one man concert broke out.

“Have you ever had to take a shit at a zoo?

Maybe at school?

Maybe in a pool?

Sometimes I have to take a shit in the drive through~O-ohh---?!”

while in midst of singing the crescendo, the door suddenly opens.

and to my surprise, its a girl so beautiful, she could be mistaken as the god of beauty.

a girl so beautiful, she would turn everyone in the heavens heads over heels toward her.

now now, let us not forget.

the toilet is directly positioned in front of the door.

which means.....she is currently seeing my everything.

this is all your fault, old man!

why the hell design such a trap-like bathroom?!

of course, i wanted to clear this misunderstanding, telling her how she opened the door....but then i remembered that i didn’t lock the door, at all.

i wanted her to excuse me, and close the door....but as soon as i opened my mouth...

~Bloop!

That slipped out.

she was soon....petrified.

umm...if you’re not planning on getting out....at least close the door.....?

is what i want to say, but i need to make sure this girl doesn’t feel like she’s at fault.

Alriiiight!!!

“Miss, i feel flattered that you’re enjoying the scenery and all, but could you please step out the door and wait for a bit?”

is what i planned to say.

but what left my cursed mouth was......

“K-KYAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!”

i ended up screaming like a girl.

the girl, who returned to her senses, quickly moved about and punched me through the stomach.

This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

i feel like that was the punishment for not locking the door...but that punch only further worsen the situation.

because.....

~Bloop, Bloop, Blooooop!

she just hit the eject button.

***

“I’m reeeaaally sorry for this idiot’s behavior!”

Drake held down Alex’s head in front of the girl.

but both Alex and the girl were silent.

“Hey! apologize!!”

the girl was probably feeling awkward after what has happened.

although.....it seems like Alex is repenting as well.

“Umm...”

thats when Alex began trying to get rid of the awkward atmosphere

“I-if you’d like.....here’s a beer....?”

he offered a beer to the girl.

the girl hurriedly picked up the cut and drank it all in a single go.

“Puaaah~!”

Seeing the girl release a satisfied sound, Alex breather a sigh of relief.

but all of a sudden, Drake retorted “How did you get the beer?! weren’t you broke!?”

“Ahh~ i got it out of your tab!”

said Alex while scratching the back of his head.

the girl, seeing both guys quarrelling, thought of an interesting idea and began laughing.

““Ohh?””

both Alex and Drake paused in confusion.

the girl, for the first time, uttered a word toward the pair.

“It seems like both of you are really close!”

she said that with an angelic smile, which froze both Alex and Drake.

she then continued “Would you rather play a game to test that friendship?”

before Drake could ask about the game, Alex quickly agreed.

“Now then....would you like to wager?”

she took Alex to the side, and whispered something in his ear.

it was really a simple game.

but when the girl finished explaining everything to Alex, he realized something.

that the smile the girl revealed, was not an angelic one....but a demonic one.

but Alex, forgotten about his past, believed in his close friendship with Drake, even if it only started a day ago.

in the end, didn’t Drake show his true self toward Alex?

he shed that friendly facade, and faced Alex with his true self.

Alex wanted to believe in that, and thus accepted the gamble.

this time around, the girl was seated right in front of Drake, and to her side was Alex.

after they both accepted the contract, the girl took out a Big Karma coin, and positioned a knife right on Alex’s neck.

The surprised Drake was dumbfounded when he was asked by the girl “Now choose. the Big Karma Coin or your friend’s life? be warned, your friend is going to be in danger if you do not choose him.”

the dumbfounded Drake thought it was a joke, and chose the Coin halfheartedly.

he believed, that in the end, you can’t die in heaven.

if you cant die, it means your life isn’t in danger.

so if your friend’s life isn’t in danger, why chose it when you can chose freedom?

in the end, wont you actually get both?

it was such a simple, trick question.

the girl quickly stabbed the knife in Alex’s neck.

as if a water jar had a whole run through it, blood began pouring out.

the blood covered the girl, the table but ran through Drake’s transparent body.

it poured out until nothing was left.

the body turned green at an abnormal rate.....but then, the wound closed.

the body soon began regaining its original color, and a message was soon placed in front of Drake.

You have lost the game. Your best friend has been demoted to rank G

Drake dropped the Coin in shock, while seeing Alex’s body turning transparent.

Drake, who saw Alex’s look of disappointment and sorrow over what he thought to be a friend, broke in tears while repeating “Sorry..” “Sorry....”

in the end, Alex forgot the reason he was in heaven.

in the end, wasn’t his best friend the reason for his death?

Alex quickly stood up, and was heading toward the exit.

he realized that his observations of an individual's heart is yet to be complete.

his eye of characters is but a failure.

even with his sharp observation skills, he is not able to see the true form of the heart.

before he reached the door, something tapped his shoulder.

he looked behind, and it was the girl.

she then held out her hand, probably asking for a handshake.

Alex didn’t feel like reaching toward it, but the girl, who sensed that, said.

“My name is Acidalia! Nice to meet you, my new servant.”

Alex couldn’t help but give a wry laugh at his own foolishness.

☆☆☆

Alison AlexRankG

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Author note: i'm sorry.....i'll stop overusing the poop jokes! ((hopefully))

also, Our Alex just went from rank E to rank G in a matter of hours!

and its still his second day in heaven!!