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Is Heaven Supposed to Be Like This?!
22. I'm Seriously Going To Have That Nightmare Again!

22. I'm Seriously Going To Have That Nightmare Again!

“Ahh~!!! Why can’t it be a girl? do i have to baby sit this pervert?!”

“Thank god there’s not a girl here! a person such as yourself doesn’t hold them in the proper respect! you should always bow to them. This is fate indeed, fate that i have to educate you!”

“Shut up! you’re just a pervert who pants when a girl steps on him!”

“Isn’t that the proper way a man should be!?”

“Screw you!”

Dammit!

This man and i can never see eye to an eye!

I want to break out as soon as possible, but these shackles are harder than they look....no, normally i’d be easily breaking them, but this hunger and thirst is taking all of my power away.

And arguing with this so called saint is making it even worse!

“Lets just stop it! we cannot agree on it. lets wait, and when the first girl comes, we’ll ask her about which one is right!”

“Fine!”

Although i said this, i speculate that its been over a week since i got here....

I am worried about Acil, but she should be fine....hopefully.

Even if she fell for that harem’s bastard, she should still be alive.

What i’m really worried about is Than.

She..simply has no reason to follow me.

Perhaps all of her personality up until now is a lie.

I mean, it has to be, right?

I already speculated her betrayal, so it’s as good as done.

Since knowing her, she should’ve been here saving my ass from hour one.

This is, of course, her house....right?

“Oi, Pervert. I hate to admit this, but i think a woman won’t follow a man that easily.”

“Aren’t you contradicting yourself now?”

I am.......But please get that smug if yours out!

It’s not like you converted me!!

I’m an atheist after all!

I’ve never even been allowed to go to the city...

Which reminds me, i just heard of this the other day, but the city is called Valhalla.....Ironic no?

-Munch

But really...i want to leave this place!

“Hey Jesus.....Y’know, as soon as i get out of here....i’ll visit the park!”

I said, emotion taking over me.

--Munch Munch

“It can’t be that i’m the only one who hasn’t lost his virginity....right? i mean, aren’t you supposed to be the purest man ever alive...and yet, didn’t you lose yours....? heck, you’re even butt naked here!”

---Munch Rustle Munch

Hmm?

Weird....i wonder, Isn’t he supposed to start talking about his followers like usual?

Not only that, isn’t there some sounds coming out from his direction.....

Lets take a look~!

“............Y-You..........!”

Just as i said that, he quickly covered his hands behind him, or rather, he sat on ‘em.

“Are you......eating food.......!?”

Just as i said that, he furiously shook his head in denial, but i know that he’s hiding something...!

I know for sure that he realizes how hungry i am....knowing that i now retrain my human body!

“N-no imgh!”

-RUUUUUUMBLE

And Light flickered as the huge sound came through.

Even though i say ‘Light’, it’s nothing but artificial Light...since its neither from the stars or lanterns.

I bet it’s Magic.

.....Or Light bulbs, but i haven’t seen electricity in this place......or at least in heaven.

As my eyes got adjusted to the Light, i gasped the situation almost immediately.

Well, there’s nothing to gasp about the situation at all to begin with.

Because the ceiling above Jesus’ cell came down up on him.

“Hahahaha~!!!! You deserve it, you little piece of shit!”

Just as i said that, a figure got up, and moved rather exaggeratedly.

It was that of a naked man with an enormous object hanging down between his legs.

His long black hair, that which reached to his lower back, hang down as he stared at the rubble.

Perhaps he is worried of what is left of his cell, which was now completely destroyed, but something weird...happened.

The already massive object began to erect its path---glory path toward the sky, as if longing to it.

He revealed a smile, that which was in deep brown.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.

“That bastard! he was hiding something!! not only that, why the hell are you getting a hard-on?!”

Upon closer inspection, the thing covering his teeth seemed very similar.

“Wait....it can’t be....but this smell....you....you ate your own shit?!”

“Hey! Gods don’t shit!!!”

He quickly retorted.

Oh, so he was listening?

And here i thought he was messing with me, ignoring while enjoying his little fucked up ‘meal’.

This guy is pissing me off even more.....don’t you know how shit tastes like?!

I am speaking out of experience here....

--Shiver

Ah, yes yes, that was me shivering!

But what can i do, i can’t help it just remembering that taste!

It’s still fresh in my memory....it haunts me in my dreams and every time i go to the bathroom!!

“Hey! why are you giving me that look?! as i said, this isn’t my own shi--recycled food. i was given this by a wonderful woman, that is, a while back before i got here. she said...’If you don’t eat that when you’re hungry, then i’ll fucking make you taste hell! i’ll make sure to feed you your own next time!!’ so.....i didn’t want to eat it at all.....since i wanna take a taste at that...eh....no.....but, you see, since....s-since i’m a god...i-i can’t get hungry....y-y’know....?”

“Then why the hell are you eating it?! and you came here way before i did, so doesn’t that mean that the shit is way past its due time?!?!?! and now i know where that foul smell that kept me from sleeping came from!!”

This guy is simply a dog.

“B-but she ordered me to eat it! you’re not a man if you don’t listen to females!! they’re the men were created!”

Correction, he is a pig.

A masochist pig.

I don’t even want to see him for even a second longer!

To begin with, how can i be so calm near that sky tower?!

“Oh, Master~! finally found you~!!”

The voice belonged to a person i thought to have betrayed me, rang along in this silent, empty room.

Well, except for that guy’s squeals.

“Thanatus.”

I quietly said.

Of course, i stared daggers at her.

This is no time to act stupid.

Because, Acil is in danger!

“More importantly, i need to head to the park!!”

E-ehm.

I-it seems my true intentions leaked out.

I planned for the ‘Acil is in danger!’ to leave my mouth, but....it seems i was a bit hasty with my thoughts that i accidentally blurted that out.

“Ahn~ Master! if you stare so much at me.....i’ll get like That......please, do it more! fell me more with your love!!”

Oops, i forgot her personality.

Well, no matter.

--Chatter

---Shatter!

I quickly looked toward the place where the horrifying sounds are coming from, which was a few feet left from Than, only to find Jesus grinding his teeth to the point that they could shatter.

No, they probably already shattered with the sounds he’s making.

“You.....what are you to Mistress?!”

What?

Oi, stop pointing that corrupted sword that’s stuck between your legs toward me.

And as if Than just noticed his existence, she narrowed her eyes and revealed a lovely smile.

No, the smile is probably toward me because what she said next was horrifying by itself.

“You shit eating pig, go die.”

Now now, i know its toward me because she looked toward me without changing her expression at all...

Well, no matter.

“Oi Thanatus, break me free.”

I quickly said toward her.

Her smile got even deeper as she walked toward me and asked “You’re finally revealing yourself for This One, Master?” With an attitude that signified that she already realized it.

I revealed a gentle smile and said “What are you talking about? break me free already or you’ll be seeing hell, Y’know?”

She stopped for a few seconds, but quickly walked toward me with a disappointed look.

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Author Note: Sorry if i'm disappointing anyone.....