Chapter 7

“Marina! Excuse me,” I said. Now or never, I thought. She was with a friend walking away from the coffee shop she came from. I decided to do it at that moment. I knew if I didn’t do it then, I couldn’t do it after. The sun was burning up there. My shade glasses weren’t helping me either from the sun. Its rays were in my eyes. I was there for almost half an hour. It was scalding, but I was too determined to do it or, better to say, too stupid to let it go. After months of noticing her, now it was time to take action. Corwin took the first hit. He asked her out, but she refused. Not that I cared, but it made me curious about her, and it was enough to get me hooked. The more I looked at her, the more I liked her. I don’t know what happened to that feeling I had before—the guilty feeling that I had when I saw that mother.

I liked her laugh. She reminded me of Calysta. Her long dark-brown hair was a beauty that came with pure hazel eyes. She was tall and had good shape. I don’t know, but it seemed to me that everyone was hitting on her, and no one came out without a scar. I don’t know what I was thinking at that moment that I thought I was different.

“Excuse me, Marina!” I said again. She turned back. She had this beautiful smile on her face.

“Yes?” she answered.

“Can I talk to you in private?”

“Is it something to do with class?” she asked, still having a smile on her face. It was unexpected. I didn’t know what the correct answer was for her question. Should I tell her yes? Or should I tell her the truth? The girls always like honesty. What if she doesn’t want to talk to me? Who cares? I waited here for almost an hour. Anyway, let’s get on with it. I want to rip off the bandage once and for all. Today I know for sure that she wants to be with me, or not? I thought.

“No, it is not,” I answered.

“Well, I’m sorry. I can’t,” she responded.

“Are you sure? Can’t you give me at least five minutes? It won’t take too long,” I almost begged. Her friend was watching. I really wanted to tell her how I felt about her. Tell her that these past three months were nightmares for me. I tried to tell her everything, and maybe she took pity on me. I didn’t ask her out because she reminded me of Calysta; I asked her out since she was beautiful and had a unique character.

“No, I’m sorry,” she responded, and before I could respond, she left with her friend. I was frozen right where I was. I was speechless. I didn’t foresee that outcome. I expected at least she would listen to me. The sun above me didn’t stop torturing me. It was burning me alive. What could I have done differently so that I could get a different result? I thought. Shocked, rejected, and agonized, I was watching her walk away. Did I say something that I shouldn’t have? She was getting far away, and my eyes were following her. There was a smile on my lips not because I was happy; it was out of sadness in my heart because it hurt. The taste of the rejection was horrible.

I couldn’t think clearly. I couldn’t move. I was in the same spot. Did I expect her to turn around and talk to me? I didn’t know. I walked away from the place. I wanted to get away from that hell-hole, but I couldn’t walk far enough, so I had to find a chair and sit there. When I found nothing, I sat on the grass. I was breathing hard. It felt like something superheavy was on my chest. There were tears in my eyes. It hurt. It hurt too much. People were passing by. I hid my face. I tried to stand up, but like a drunk man, it became a difficult task. I was angry at myself. I should’ve done it differently. I heard laughter from the people who were passing by. I hated them. Why were they so happy while I was so miserable?

I tried again to stand up. I stood up with difficulty. I looked back to where I talked to her and then looked where she headed. She was out of my sight. I don’t know how long the process was to get over that situation, but I controlled myself and started walking again. I needed to get away from that place as soon as possible. She doesn’t deserve me. Whoever she wants, let it be him. I don’t want to have a relationship with a person who is rude and inconsiderable about other’s feelings. What was wrong with her? What did I do to her that she didn’t want to hear what I wanted to say? Asking about class? Did she think she was more intelligent than me? No one talked to me like that, and she felt she could do it to me. Let it be. Time shows who was right. I hope she was right, because if she changes her mind, I won’t give her the time of day. That was it. It was only one shot, and it was her loss. I feel sorry for her because she lost the opportunity to be with me, but she lost everything with one wrong move and only one wrong move, I thought. I was trying to convince myself to reduce the pain and get rid of that strange pain. It helped a little bit, but my heart was bleeding, and I needed to stop it.

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“Mr. Adalbert . . . Mr. Adalbert.” I heard someone calling me. When I turned around, I saw Professor Oswald coming toward me. He was a Theoretical Physics teacher. Mr. Oswald was a respected teacher and well-known in his field. He was a skinny guy with a mustache on his mouth, dark hair, and tall. He was almost running toward me.

“Thank God I found you. Can you do me a favor?” he asked, and before I answered, he continued. “I need you to teach my class if it isn’t too much for you. There is an emergency that I need to leave. I asked other teachers, but they don’t have time for it, so it would be a huge favor if you taught the class for me. I won’t forget that,” he requested. I needed a distraction, so I accepted.

“Thank you. Thank you so much. You are my savior. I won’t forget that,” he said while he headed in the other direction.

I inhaled a deep breath and then exhaled it. I was still confused from that horrible moment I had, but thanks to the universe, I had a distraction. I loved teaching classes on different subjects. I even forgot to ask him where his assistant was. Anyway, it was a good opportunity for me to get away from those thoughts.

I headed to his classroom. The classroom was almost complete. I asked the first student about the subject that was going to be taught by Professor Oswald. After he indicated the book page and lecture, I opened the book and the lecture to review it. When I thought that I was ready, I closed them both.

“Hello, everyone. My name is Agustin Adalbert, your substitute teacher for today. There was an emergency for Professor Oswald, and as you can see, his assistant wasn’t available for other reasons too, so you’re stuck with me.” I looked at the faces, and they weren’t happy. “And add to that, I am suffering a PTSD now for what just happened to me not ten minutes ago.” Everyone laughed at what I just said.

“Do you mind telling us what happened to you?” a female voice asked from the crowd.

“Well, not that it’s your business, but I’ll let you know some wisdom that I learned today. Never ask a girl out on a hot day, because if you get rejected, you will feel nausea, confusion, breathing problem, and worse than that, you can’t tell if it is tears coming down or sweat. So you think that it is a heartbreak symptom, but it could be a heatstroke.” And with that, the whole class laughed, and it continued for almost two minutes, and then they started chatting.

“Okay, okay, that’s enough. The professor didn’t send me here to do stand-up comedy for you guys, but I’m glad my misery is your amusement. I don’t know most of you guys or, better to tell, none of you, so let’s continue this lecture and get on with it and finish it fast,” I said.

“Who was it?” one student asked.

“It was a beautiful girl with a great smile. I can’t tell you what her name is because she is real and she is studying in this university, and I don’t wanna draw too much unwanted attention to her, so let’s move on,” I answered.

“But it’s not fair. I want to try my luck,” a male voice protested, and by that, other students started laughing.

“It is not a sword in the stone that you want to try,” I said, and the whole class started laughing again. “She is a human being and has feelings. As I said, I don’t wanna draw too much attention to her. The reason I brought her up was to break the ice in the class. Now that you guys are more comfortable, let’s finish this class.” And by saying that, I started the lecture. It was in the middle of the lecture that I noticed a girl not too far away. Yes, it was her—Marina. She was sitting with her friend whom I saw earlier. When she looked up from her notebook, she saw that I was staring at her. She smiled, looked away, and pretended that she didn’t notice me, but it was too late, and we both knew it. I didn’t smile back; I don’t know why. Maybe I was shocked, or probably, I wanted to show her she was nothing to me, which wasn’t true. I knew deep down that I cared, but did she know? With lots of trouble, I finished the lecture and tried hard not to look in her direction. After the lecture, some students stayed to ask me some questions, and during that, I saw Marina getting out of class with her friend. That was the second time in one day that I was watching her walk away.