Chapter 12

“Cara, stop it. I am not interested in any of them. They are all the same. They all want to have sex with me,” she said with frustration.

“But, Mary, isn’t it the whole point? Going to school, getting a good job, so we could have anybody that we want or when we want?” Cara said with a smile.

“What the hell are you talking about? Are you here to get laid? Is that what you want? Then you could have gone to any university that you wanted to. Why go this distance to have sex?” Marina responded with a smile.

“True, but the seeds in here are better than anywhere else,” Cara responded, and both started laughing.

“Marina, excuse me.”

Marina stopped laughing and looked at her friend.

“Excuse me, Marina?”

Marina turned around and saw a tall, athlete-shape, inverted triangle cheekbone with long curly dark hair. He had shade glasses on, so she couldn’t see his eyes, but so far, this guy looked like a movie star. Everything was suggesting that this guy must be a womanizer. With one look, any girl could fall for him, but not her. She didn’t want to be a plain number for him. Who did he think he was? She bet that this guy made a bet with other guys to get her phone number. She couldn’t believe she couldn’t catch a break from these men. She thought she was free at last. She could at least focus on the subject she wanted to learn. To be honest, she was flattered that she got this much attention, but wasn’t it too easy for her? Where was the romance she was looking for? She didn’t like fairy-tale stories, but she wanted someone who was like a prince. Where was that hero? Anyway, she had to deal with this guy.

“Yes?” she answered.

“Can I talk to you in private?” the boy asked her.

“Is it something to do with class?” Marina asked, but the boy paused. She caught him off guard.

“No, it is not,” the boy answered.

“Well, I’m sorry. I can’t,” she responded.

“Are you sure? Can’t you give me at least five minutes? It won’t take too long.” The boy almost begged her, but she didn’t want to hear anything about it, especially now that Cara was watching as well. She wouldn’t hear the end of it. “What did he say? What did he want? Did he ask you out?” Or thousands of other questions she would probably ask.

“No, I’m sorry,” Marina responded, and before the boy said something else, she took off. She walked fast. After she made sure she was at a safe distance, she slowed down.

“What the hell was that? I just want to know what the hell you were thinking. Are you crazy to blow him off like that? Did you even see how handsome he was? Oh my God, I hate you now. Couldn’t you at least give him a chance to talk? Why it always has to be you?” Marina just walked and listened to her complaints and had a smile on her face. She thought it would be the end of it there, but it sounded like no matter which side of the knife she grabbed, it almost always cut her deep. Cara was still complaining. She thought she’d let her friend empty herself, and when she was done, then she could explain herself. The weather was hot. She felt like her brain was cooking inside her skull. She sped up again and was looking for a shelter or shade to hide from this torturing sun. She didn’t wear so much makeup, so she wasn’t worried about what would happen if it washed away. Cara was still complaining. Marina was thinking about the lecture of Professor Oswald. She had so many questions to ask him about the last class. Hopefully, he had a little bit of time to spare so that she could get some answers from him. She respected him. He knew what he was talking about.

Cara was still complaining. Marina thought that even the power of the sun couldn’t make her friend shut up. Thank God she saw the department that she was heading to. Finally, there was a place to hide from this hellish heat. Cara sped up as Marina sped up again, but she didn’t stop complaining. Marina didn’t mind her friend’s complaining. It was actually entertaining. Cara was precisely the opposite of her. Where she was shy, Cara wasn’t, or at the time, Marina didn’t want to talk a lot, and Cara would do precisely the opposite. They got into the building. The building wasn’t cold either, but it was better than staying under the sun. They headed toward Professor Oswald’s class. Now Cara got a little bit calmer. Maybe it was the heat that made her talk that much. That was what Marina thought. They went and sat on their usual seats.

“What if he was your love of life?” Cara asked, and this time, she waited for an answer.

“Well, poor me, I’ll be miserable for the rest of my life. I will cry days and nights and then kill myself because I couldn’t bear the thought he is not going to be with me,” she responded with sarcasm. There was silence for a while. Cara didn’t look at Marina for a time, and when she started talking, it was like she was talking to herself. She told her,

“Love isn’t something to laugh about. It is hurtful. It is going to cause you so much pain that you’ve never had before. You think you will cry because of the pain, but you will actually cry to keep your sanity together. There won’t be any drugs to heal you. There won’t be any distractions to keep you distracted enough. When the time passes and it is all gone, you will look at yourself again, and the only thing you will see is an empty shell,” Cara said with sadness in her voice.

“Ohh, Cara, I wasn’t planning to mock you. I know I said something stupid. Please forgive me,” Marina begged.

“You don’t get it, do you?” Cara responded while trying not to cry.

“I wa—”

“Who is he?” a girl in front of them said. She was talking to her friend.

“I don’t know. What is he doing in front of the professor’s desk?” the other girl responded.

“Yeah, I heard he is a teacher’s pet. Smart my ass, he doesn’t know shit.” The boys behind them were talking.

“Are you fucking jealous? He is smart, all right, or how else could he get in here? But the thing that pisses me off is, this fucker is everyone’s nightmare. Look at that fucker. I bet every girl fell for him already,” the other boy responded.

“But I didn’t see him in any party,” the boy said.

“Well, do you expect him to be like us? Going party to get noticed? If he wants a girl, he gets it. Simple like that,” the other one responded.

Marina couldn’t help herself from chuckling. They were probably right. She got the same vibe when she met him for the first time.

“Hello, everyone. My name is Agustin Adalbert, your substitute teacher for today. There was an emergency for Professor Oswald, and as you can see, his assistant wasn’t available for other reasons too, so you’re stuck with me.” He looked at people in the front seats and then continued, “And add to that, I am suffering PTSD now for what just happened to me not ten minutes ago.” Everyone laughed at what he just said. She turned red. She thought she had been discovered and he was going to embarrass her in front of the class. Now she was sweating. It wasn’t because of the heat. Anything could happen now. The last thing she wanted now was lots of attention toward her. Why did it have to be him? Why today? Why this class?

“Do you mind telling us what happened to you?” a female voice asked from the crowd.

That’s it. I am done, Marina thought.

“Well, not that it’s your business, but I’ll let you know some wisdom that I learned today. Never ask a girl out on a hot day, because if you get rejected, you are going to feel nausea, confusion, breathing problem, and worse than that, you can’t tell if it is tears coming down or sweat. So you think that it is a heartbreak symptom, but it could be a heatstroke.” And with that, the whole class laughed, and it continued for almost two minutes, and then they started chatting.

“I just want to punch his fucking face. He thinks he is funny now?” the boy behind her told his friend.

The other one chuckled. “Well, I’ll give him that. He is a funny dude. I think you should take his advice, and don’t do anything stupid because you can’t tell you are bleeding out from the fight or you are sweating. I doubt that you can handle him.”

“Perfect, now you are quoting him?” The other one was pissed off.

“Okay, okay, that’s enough. The professor didn’t send me here to do stand-up comedy for you guys, but I’m glad my misery is your amusement. I don’t know most of you guys or, better to say, none of you, so let’s continue this lecture and get on with it and finish it fast,” Agustin said.

“Who was it?” one student asked.

“It was a beautiful girl with a great smile. I can’t tell you what her name is because she is real and she is studying in this university, and I don’t wanna draw too much unwanted attention to her, so let’s move on,” he answered. Does he know that I am in his class now? What if he doesn’t know and when he finds out, he tells everyone? What am I supposed to do, huh? Why it had to be him? I should have talked to him. At least let him hang dry. Tell him I will think about it. How the fuck was I supposed to know that it would be him, Marina thought.

“Ahhhh, he is sooooooooooo nice. Even after what she did to him, he considered her well-being. If it were any other guy, he would spell out the name earlier,” the girl in front of Marina said.

“I can’t believe he got rejected. Who could possibly do that? She must be either a princess or insane or blind, and I know for a fact that we don’t have any princess in this university,” the other girl in front of Cara said.

Marina, for the first time, looked at her friend. Her friend was trying not to laugh too loud by putting her hand in front of her mouth, but her body was shaking from laughing.

“But it’s not fair. I want to try my luck,” a male voice protested, and by that, another student started laughing.

“It is not a sword in the stone that you want to try,” Agustin said, and the whole class started laughing again. “She is a human being and has feelings. As I said, I don’t wanna draw too much attention to her. The reason I brought her up was to break the ice in the class. Now that you guys are more comfortable, let’s finish this class.” He started his lecture.

“That was close,” Cara whispered to her friend. “I didn’t know that karma answers you this fast,” she said while trying to hold back her laugh.

“Shhhhhhhhhhhh, please be quiet. I don’t want him to notice us. Please, please,” Marina begged.

Cara smiled and shook her head as a disappointment. “I don’t think he would embarrass you if he discovered you. I don’t think he’s that kind of guy.”

“Well, I don’t want to find out what kind of guy he is today, okay?” Marina responded with irritation.

Maybe Cara was right, maybe not. Who knows? The time wasn’t right to find out who was right or not.

“How much do you know about mathematics?” Agustin asked the class.

“Well, it’s a subject that no one likes, but they’re doomed to it,” one male student responded. Some students laughed.

“I am glad you said that because today’s lecture isn’t about what Professor Oswald was going to teach you. Today’s lecture is going to be an amazing journey from mathematics to physics, but before I start, I want you to be familiar with the perspective I have for math,” he said, and then he started writing a sentence on the board.

“To be, or not to be, that is the question.”

And then he wrote:

±1

He turned to the class and asked, “What do they have in common?”

“Aren’t they the same?” one student responded.

Agustin smiled and nodded his head. “Exactly. Now tell me what the difference is.”

Everyone started talking to one another. For the first time, Marina got distracted to find the answer. She was still worried; however, she wanted to find out the answer, though she wasn’t planning on answering even if she found it.

“Anyone?” Agustin asked.

“One of them is Shakespeare’s quote, and the other one is used in mathematics for the probability of more or less.”

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“Close enough. The problem is that there aren’t many people that know who came up with ±1, but almost all people know that famous sentence is from Shakespeare. Even though both of them have the same meaning, same beauty, but the other one practically has more function in real life than the line William Shakespeare said,” Agustin said. He let the class absorb what he just said.

“It would be a happy story for the person who passed the finish line in Olympics one second less than the other one, or vice versa, it could be a sad story since the other guy tried hard, sacrificed everything, and that gold medal would change everything for him, but his body betrayed him.

“Or it could be a sad story of someone’s life who lost his love of life because the medical emergency couldn’t come one minute earlier to save her.

“Your imagination is the limit to make a happy or sad story with it,” he said, and then he walked back to the board.

He drew a picture of a beautiful girl on the board. The boys started whistling and chatting. He let them talk. Then he turned around. Everyone got silenced and wondered what he wanted to say. The picture was drawn beautifully; the girls and boys both fell for the image.

“Now look at this person. And no, she is not real, but it could be anyone. What would you do if you met this girl?” he asked the class.

“I would dive in and ask her out,” a guy from the crowd said. Some people laughed.

“Well, before you do that, how about the chance you have to take? Don’t forget ±1. Would you still take that chance? By saying that, I mean, she could have an extra part or less. Would you still go out with her?” he asked the individual.

“It depends. If she has an extra part in toes or finger, I still will go out with her, but if she gets the extra part which each man, sorry, I mean, most men have, well, the answer will be no,” he answered. Some of the class laughed.

“What if that person is everything you need, but she has the only problem you mentioned. Would you go out with her?” Agustin asked.

“It sounds so harsh. I wouldn’t, but would you blame me for that? Would you go out with that person?” he responded.

“To answer your first question, I wouldn’t judge you. Everyone has a different taste in life, and who am I to decide which one is good or bad? To answer the second part of your question, I don’t know. Maybe or maybe not. To me, it is just a mutation that happens in her genes. It only describes what her body looks like, but it doesn’t let you know who she really is. The mutation doesn’t have time. It could happen anytime in life in any form. You are familiar with cancer. What do you think the cancer is? It is a mutation that could happen in any living cell in your body. That cell will grow and behave differently, and in the end, it will kill the host. You can say the same thing about bipolar, Coronaviruses which cause the common cold, HIV, Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, and the list continues. These are mutated at some point. What do you think HIV is? It is just another mutated virus. Some of the mutations died out because the host either couldn’t find a mate or the host didn’t live long enough to be mature. However, the mutation is still happening and taking place somewhere in this world or in our bodies. Ninety-five to ninety-seven percent of the mutation is eliminated through self-abortion during pregnancy. All of that is on the shoulder of one gene that does the correction. Self-abortion could happen at any time of labor. It could happen even before the mother noticed she was pregnant or after three weeks or a month or any time even before you are even born. The point is, you are always struggling with ±1 in everyday life, and it doesn’t matter if it is +1 or −1 because it is going to affect your life anyway,” he answered. The class was silenced. Everyone was looking at him and paying attention to what he wanted to say next. He smiled and then continued,

“And this is how I see mathematics. It could be a poem or a sad story that makes you cry even harder than Shakespeare’s play. It all depends on how you look at the numbers. I know for a fact that I am only a number in this university. Most people have no idea who I am, but they know the number of people who got accepted into this university last year, and I was one of them. I don’t know your taste. If you like art, see the number as art and try to find its beauty. If you like stories, as I showed, you could make a story with any of them. The numbers could be an alphabet, a word, a sentence, or even a story, and this is the language of nature. Learn and use it, and you’ll be amazed in this wonderland. And by saying that, I welcome all of you to the journey from mathematics to physics.”

Marina smiled. It was the most beautiful introduction she ever had in the class, and by the face of other students, she knew she wasn’t the only one who got affected by his speech. Handsome, intelligent, and mature. Did she make a mistake not hearing what he wanted to say earlier? Now she wondered. She looked at her friend Cara only to see her daydreaming about him already. No wonder why so many girls fell for him. He was the recipe for trouble.

He started his lecture, and the way he was teaching, it was so engaging and methodical that everyone was only listening and enjoying the beauty of the lesson. His beautiful voice was a bonus. It was like a lullaby. It would put you to sleep and take you to dreamland.

Whenever Agustin was writing something on the board, Marina was distracted, checking out his back muscles, his legs, his biceps while he was trying to write something over his head. This guy was a complete package. Everything about him was alluring.

She couldn’t believe that she just blew off this guy not an hour ago without knowing who he was. She looked at her friend and found her still daydreaming about him. Was it too soon for Marina to admit that Cara was right? she wondered. Nothing about this guy was natural.

She looked at her notes; she couldn’t believe that she had just written so many notes without even noticing that her hand was hurting. She shook her hand to let blood flow in there. Then she looked up.

She froze.

Agustin was looking at her or, better to say, staring at her in disbelief. The situation was just so bizarre that it made her smile, but she wanted to hide it from him, so she looked down at her notes again. She put her hand on her forehead like a baseball cap to hide her face. She wasn’t afraid of him to expose her. She knew that Agustin wouldn’t do that to her. It sounded like Cara was right again, and it was her, the stupid one.

Agustin resumed his lecture.

Thank God. She didn’t know what to do if he continued watching her like that. Now she was afraid to look up. What if he was still watching her? So she spied on him by looking at him through her finger. She saw that Agustin was busy teaching the class. After a while, she noticed that Agustin was trying not to look in her direction. Was he mad at her? She didn’t know, or maybe he was trying not to get distracted by not looking in her direction. She wondered.

Now the lecture seemed a lifetime to be finished.

Marina looked at her friend and saw her daydreaming as usual.

She was so distressed that it felt like a piece of lava was in her stomach.

Finally, the lecture was finished. As soon as Agustin finished the class, a swarm of girls went for him, and it was followed by a few males who had a different taste than the other males.

Marina, with force and begging, asked Cara to follow her. Cara followed her reluctantly.

“What is it? Why didn’t you let me go there and talk to him?” Cara asked.

“Well, good luck with that. Did you see how many girls went for him? It was like the class just saw a megastar actor,” Marina replied.

“So?” Cara asked.

“So what? There isn’t a chance that you can even say Hi to him, let alone talk to him.”

“What is your problem? Why do you care? I wanted to try my chance. You blew off yours. Even if there were a small chance to talk to him, I would take it.”

“Wow, slow down, tigress. I didn’t say don’t try. I am saying let’s do it another day. Find him alone and go for it. It doesn’t seem like he is going anywhere anytime soon.”

“You are crazy, you know? Anyhow, your face was priceless when he mentioned the meeting he had with you. Oh my God, you were so shocked that it was like. . . you just saw a ghost. I felt sorry for you, but you deserved it. ‘Who would reject him? Either she is a princess or blind, and I know for a fact that we don’t have a princess,’” Cara said while she was laughing at her friend.

“How would I know that he was a nice guy? He just came to me and asked me if I want to talk to him in private.”

“Oh, I would do much more than talking in private.”

Marina Laughed. “You are nasty.”

“I would eat him alive. Hummmmmm, Hummm. I bet he is delicious,” Cara responded with a smile.

“Eeeewwwwww! That’s disgusting. I had no idea you were this much horny.”

“Why? Don’t you find him attractive?” Cara said while she had the biggest smile on her face.

“You are crazy, Cara,” Marina said while she was laughing at her friend.

Two weeks later . . .

“Hey, Mary, look over there. He is here,” Cara said to Marina. She didn’t have to tell her who she meant.

Agustin and his friends were sitting in a bar with some girls. The bar was a little bit crowded. It had a dance floor. They were sitting at the table close to the dance floor. The music was deafening. It was such loud music that when a person wanted to talk to another person, they had to yell to hear what the other person was trying to say. The bar had a dim light, so there wasn’t any chance Agustin could have noticed Marina unless he scanned everybody in the bar.

Marina wasn’t willing to show herself either way, because whenever she did, she saw that Agustin went in the other direction. She thought he was still angry at her. This was the first time she tried the bar. Recently, she was distracted and mad at herself. She hated herself to be this weak.

The floor had some kind of alcoholic drink on it. It attached itself to every shoe that was walking on it. The DJ was playing awful music, and it seemed that no one wanted to dance to it.

There was also a piano on the far side of the bar. It was clean, but it seemed that no one played with it for a long time. It was sad. The piano was still in good shape.

The chairs close to the counter were full of people, and every one of them was holding huge glasses of a pint. The poor waitresses were running back and forth to get the order.

There was this terrible smell that was rising from this vast population. The ventilation couldn’t get the smell out fast enough. The odorous mix of women’s makeup and men’s cologne and add to that the scent of beers and people’s burp made Marina nauseous. She wondered how people could come to this kind of place knowing that this heat and smell was waiting for them.

Suppose it wasn’t for Cara’s sake, she wouldn’t come to the place.

There were three huge bouncers on each side of the bar and were monitoring people. One of them was outside the door and asking for identification.

There were some pictures of footballers and rugby players attached to the wall. Marina had no idea who they were. Some pictures seemed to be really old, from the ’70s or even ’50s. She didn’t care. She wasn’t interested in any sports.

The music kept playing nonstop.

Boooom, boooom, boooom. That was all she heard from the music. The bar was horrible; she was wondering why people called this bar a good bar. Cara convinced her that she would have a perfect time, but it just brought her headache so far.

Girls were talking to boys. Either they were shouting at each other, or even better for the boys, they talked to them like whispering in their ears.

“Why did you bring me in this hellhole?” Marina shouted to her friend while she covered her ears with both hands.

“Aren’t you glad you came? Agustin is here!” Cara shouted back.

“What are you talking about? We came here to have fun. You promised me that. I don’t see anything close to it.”

“Well, there are lots of boys in here. You want to have fun? Go there and talk to them.”

“Are you kidding me? With this loud noise? And who said I want to socialize with them? If I wanted to do so, I would have done it in university.”

“Mary, what is your problem? Can’t you just relax for a second and enjoy yourself for a bit?”

“What? Joy? I only got a headache.”

“Whatever,” Cara said and got back to her conversation with her other friend.

Marina was pissed off. She was furious at herself for coming to the bar to be reminded that she lost her chance to be with Agustin.

Suddenly, she saw that Agustin’s friend dragged Agustin to the piano to the other side of the bar. They were all drunk, of course. She had no idea what they were planning. Agustin laughed with them and begged his friend to stop doing it, but they didn’t listen. One of his friends ran to the DJ, and the others forced Agustin to sit there behind the piano. Agustin sat there hopelessly and waited. The music stopped. People turned around to see what was happening there.

“Hey, hey, don’t worry. We are going to listen to real music for a second, and then we’ll go back to whatever it was playing before, okay?” one of his friends shouted.

“You are drunk, asshole!” one person shouted back. Other people started laughing. The girls were laughing as well. Even Agustin was laughing.

“Okay, okay. Just one music, okay?” the same person said.

Some people turned their back to the bar or the table and did whatever they were doing before.

Agustin shook his head, disappointed by his friends’ behavior.

He struck the first key. It was followed by other keys. It was unrhymed. It was like a drunk person was playing, but he had a serious face on. It was funny for Marina to see him like that, which brought a smile to her face. People were laughing and shaking their heads. What a disappointment. He was playing worse than the DJ.

The music started to have some rhyme now. In a matter of seconds, it turned from a child’s play to a professional one.

Now people turned to see him again. Girls got interested too.

The music had a sad tone in it, but it was a nocturne. It was soothing, talking to people’s hearts. It winkled out the memories of people who weren’t there. Missing friends and family brought a tear to anyone who was listening. It was splendiferous music. It came with gratulation and, at the same time, sadness. The depth of the music was rising. Only a magnanimous musician with a big heart could pull up all those feelings in one piece and give them to the people. Sadness, happiness, loss, laughter, cry, love, hate, and missing were boiling up simultaneously. The music took out the heart from the chest and showed the beating heart. Breathing was difficult. No one dared to make a sound to disturb the rhyme. Finally, when it came to an end, people were like landlopers; they were lost in a world that had never been discovered, and it seemed that they were the lucky ones to be introduced to it, just like Christopher Columbus. People were still in disbelief and woe.

Everyone applauded the musician.

Agustin rose from the chair and thanked them by bowing in front of them.

He headed toward the door. His friends followed him outside as well.

Marina was shocked. She noticed she cried as well. She wiped her tears while having a smile on her face. She couldn’t believe she had just witnessed the most beautiful moment in her life. The night wasn’t that bad after all. She looked at her friend. Cara was lost in memories. Marina sympathized with her. Who could hear such music and not be affected? And above all, how come a young person could compose such highly skilled music? In what universe was Agustin living?

She shook off her friend. Cara looked at her while her eyes were wet with tears. Marina asked her to leave the bar as well. It somehow amused Cara, which brought her a smile. Marina smiled back. Cara didn’t have to tell her what she was thinking.

“Oh, shut up,” Marina responded, and after that, they both headed outside gleefully.

The street was wet from the earlier rain, reflecting the moonlight, raising the mood for the night. The deciduous trees were already shedding their leaves and gave out damp and moist air. Each step they took echoed through the silent night. There was this shelp, shelp voice that shoes made while walking on wet leaves on the street. The trees were rustling with winds. The smell of damp and dead leaves was delicious. The freshness of the air helped a little bit to remove the memory of heat and heavy smell in the bar. Marina inhaled deep to get in nutrition to her body and exhaled the toxin out of her system, and with that, she already forgot about the bar and that monstrous smell.

Agustin and his friend were in front of them. They were laughing. They seemed to have a good night. The colorful dead leaves were absorbing their shadows. They walked, and they were oblivious about who was following them.

Marina was dying to hear what they were talking about. What could a gifted man talk about? It seemed to her that Agustin didn’t drink so much. He walked normally while the others were trembling. His friends were talking out loud, but it was incoherent and hard to comprehend what they were trying to say, and all that time, Agustin was laughing. What kind of sadness drove him to play that music? Who did he miss? Was it for his family? A friend? Or a girlfriend? Did he have a lover before he came here? Marina wondered.

Marina and her friend sauntered behind them. After fifteen minutes of walking, at last, they arrived at the campus. She wished the walk wouldn’t end this soon.

The moment Agustin disappeared in front of her eyes, she noticed her heart was pounding fast, and it wasn’t only that. Her eyes were clouded with tears.

When Cara saw her friend’s state, without any words, she put her hand around her friend. She hugged her tightly. Marina hugged her back, and she buried her face on her friend’s shoulder.

There was only the sound of the trees’ rustling leaves and a girl who was sobbing on her friend’s shoulder.