The conversation strayed back to normal things, school and music mainly, the girls dropped out one by one as they reached home until Abby's stop came.

They got off the bus and walked silently to the house, the red brick building looming in Anne's eyes as the nerves which had been building during the short walk reached a crescendo. Abby unlocked the door and they threw their bags into the corner and took off their shoes. Abby scampered up the stairs, Anne walking slowly behind.

She got to Abby's room, somewhere she had been almost as many times as her own bedroom, she had stayed the night dozens, if not hundreds of times. Suddenly it felt different, Abby was sitting cross legged on the bed, the room was not as bad as her sister's but there were still dirty clothes on the floor and the bed wasn't made. She tried not to think about the colour of her best friend's undies. Even so, it felt like she was entering a boudoir, her friends inner sanctum, somewhere she got naked.

She mentally slapped herself, wondering where these thoughts were suddenly coming from. She sat coyley on the corner of the bed.

"Oh come on, sit closer!" Abby insisted, patting the bed.

She moved to sit cross legged in front of Abby. She found her gaze lingered on the blue bedspread until Abby grabbed her hands and said "Come on, we're best friends, nothing you say will stop that."

Anne gulped, her gaze now set on her hands where they clasped Abby's the feel of the soft skin under her fingertips, the warmth distracting. Finally she worked up the courage to speak. "I snuck into Kelly's room last night. I was bored and thought it might be fun to read her diary."

"Oh no, she killed someone didn't she? Buried the body in your backyard?" Abby joked.

"No, she suggested I like girls." Anne admitted, intentionally leaving out that her sister too liked girls. "It made me wonder if I do." she continued quietly.

"So, that's why you went to talk to Jo? You wanted to find out if you swung that way?" Abby asked, trying not to smile.

"It sounds stupid when you say it out loud. But yes, and I still don't know." She confessed.

"Right, so no amazing insight from the random person you hardly ever spoke to? I must say, I'm a little upset that I was the second choice." She laughed, "Right, I know you aren't attracted to boys, or at least you don't lust after Vin Diesel unlike most of our friends. So, are you attracted to girls?"

"Not really, I like seeing girls naked." She admitted, "but it's not like I imagine having sex with them." As she said that she suddenly imagined her and Abby rolling naked in the bed they were sitting on and her face flushed.

"Oh my god, you just thought of me naked!" Abby laughed, letting go of her hands.

"No...I…" she sighed, "you started it."

"Yeah, I guess I did. So, want to get naked and have sex?"

Anne's shocked intake of breath caused Abby to burst out laughing. "Joking! Seriously though, I'm not getting naked in the room with you again, pervert." She smiled, causing Anne to smile too.

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"Jo told me to go home and masturbate." Anne said quietly, speaking towards the bedspread again.

Abby laughed, "That's an odd suggestion, why'd she suggest that?"

"I admitted I had never masturbated before." She said so quietly that Abby hardly heard her.

"What!" Abby shrieked, "Oh my god, you can't be serious? I started when I was twelve!"

Anne looked at her in shock, "Really?"

"Yeah, remember Scott from our camping trip? I woke up after a dream where I was kissing him and I was so aroused, I rubbed one out right there in the tent."

"The tent we were sharing? The tent that was so small that our sleeping bags were touching? Hold on, the tent that you woke me up shivering in even though it was warm and then cuddled up to me for body heat! ABBY!" Anne shreaked.

"Oops." Abby said, biting her bottom lip and trying not to laugh.

"I can't believe you did that. And I can't believe I find it oddly sexy." Anne teased.

"To be honest I think it turned me on a bit at the time too." Abby admitted. "Hey, we should do it together, right now. Then we could both say we were together for our first time!"

"I would kill you if you told anyone that!" Anne warned her.

Abby laughed, "That’s not exactly a no? We don't need to get naked, under the covers, fully clothed, staring into each other's eyes." She smiled at the shocked look on her friend's face. "Or we could just kiss?"

"Abby, stop it." She squirmed backwards away from her friend. "It's not funny. I was being serious, I don't need this right now."

She made to get up, "I thought you might understand."

"Anne, sit down. I may have fucked that up a bit, I was kind of serious but when I saw your reaction I panicked and for some reason pretended I was joking." She scooted back against the headboard. "You know, try everything once, perhaps I might like it." There was a pleading look in her eyes. Anne wasn't convinced but she sat back down, a bit further away this time.

"I think perhaps I might just go home. This is squicking me out."

Abby leant forward, "I just thought it would be nice, best friends, experimenting. I'll drop it, sorry."

"So, what did your sister actually say to mess you up this badly?" Abby asked.

"I can't say, she just drew my attention to some things." Anne said, desperately trying to avoid outing her sister. "Look, I'm going to go home. Sorry. Don't tell anyone, please?"

She got up and headed for the door, Abby caught up with her as she was putting her shoes back on. "I'm sorry Anne, just do me a favour." Anne turned towards her and Abby surprised her by catching her lips with a quick, chaste kiss. "Think about me?"

Anne ran, she ran until her lungs were burning, all the way home, tears streaming from her eyes. 'Why did she have to do that?' she thought, wishing she had never told her, wishing she had been better at keeping her own secrets.

She got home and ran to her room, ignoring her mum's call from the kitchen. She dived onto her bed and sobbed into her pillow, deep wracking sobs. It felt like her life was over, how could she face her friend tomorrow, she felt betrayed.

She didn't come down for dinner. Her mum tried to get her down but she just lay, curled in bed, thinking over and over, round in circles about how she could have done the day differently. She was convinced all her friends would know by tomorrow. The whole school would know by the end of the day. She would be the new dyke, the new pariah - the girl you couldn't be friends with because you would be labeled a lesbian too.