Logan blinked underwater, his brown bangs swaying in the current as he looked up at the surface of the lake, the water around them bright blue but getting darker the farther they dropped. [Deepwater Explorer] meant that he had no problem breathing underwater, but he wasn’t relaxing, hell no. The snakes had been swimming underwater when they discovered them, and that meant this might not be over.
Ernie swam around Logan, his tentacles trailing behind him. He’d taken on the bright blue of the water, camouflaging himself, the disguise so detailed it was easy to miss him. If he hadn’t been moving around and let himself drift, Logan could see how he could easily pounce on prey. It was starting to make sense how quickly he’d managed to level up.
Logan gave Ernie a considering glance. There was one serious problem, though.
How the hell were they going to communicate underwater?
“By speaking!”
Shocked, Logan kicked his legs in startlement, making a garbled noise as his mouth filled with lake water. It tasted like a combination of seaweed and algae, and he wanted to spit, but spit where?
Ernie hovered in front of Logan’s face, his eyes like black marbles. “In our minds! Not out loud.”
Logan closed his mouth. What the hell else had the System done when it bonded him to Ernie? Could he read Logan’s mind? It was one thing to talk to a sapient animal, it was another thing having that animal in his head.
Furrowing his brow, Logan thought as hard as he could, “HOW ARE WE TALKING?”
Ernie winced in pain and jerked in the water. “Not so loud!” Then, pouting, “Although I rival all, the all-knowing being did not deposit an instruction tome in the underwater garbage lands.” Sounding ashamed, his mental voice lowered into a mumble, “I do not know. The knowledge is just there.” Brightening, he added, “Because of course, I rival all!”
So it wasn’t just Logan the System had been a dick to.
Logan tried to communicate, softly this time. He had no idea if this would work, but maybe if he pictured himself lowering his voice, his mind would follow. “Can you read my thoughts?”
Ernie beamed. “Much better! And no, I cannot read your thoughts.”
What the hell. Then how did Ernie know what he was thinking before—
Ernie darted his tentacles around in the water. “I can read your expression! So exciting! We are truly meant for each other, Large Hum—” He corrected himself. “Logan.”
Ernie twirled in a circle, his colors fluctuating from the blue water to Logan’s kitten-patterned swim trunks. “We are slaughter buddies; we rival all!” He seemed to be working himself into a frenzy, his tentacles dancing and grasping at invisible prey. “We will pummel our enemies to death, stacking their bodies in a tower of corpses at our feet! And we can start now!”
With a snap of his tentacles, Ernie darted above Logan’s head and went towards the surface. What the—
The snakes.
A handful were diving towards them, red eyes flashing, fangs gnashing.
[Flying Hunting Snake Level 30.]
[Flying Hunting Snake Level 30.]
[Flying Hunting Snake Level 29.]
The ones that had followed them were all higher leveled, bodies the width of fire hoses. They breached the blood saturated water and grew even more eager, rabid eyes no longer filled with just malice, but also with hunger.
Was that…? Right on their heels, the Cursed Length of Rope had returned, pursuing the snakes with green crackles of electricity. For a second, Logan worried that Ernie was at risk of electrocution, but if the rope acted anything like an electric eel, he’d be safe.
But then again, who knew with the System. Shocking Logan to death with his own weapon seemed like just the thing it would relish, the sadistic bastard.
Logan was about to go after Ernie, but he had no weapon. Hesitating, he considered removing a gun from his collar, but there was a difference between trying to shoot a stationary sturgeon that was the width of an anaconda and a slithering snake. Above ground, he might have a chance, but not in the water. As a last resort, he could try punching them to death, but the water pressure might make his strikes ineffectual.
But it didn’t matter.
If Ernie was a menace above water, he was brutal in his own element.
The snakes’ wings were built for flying, not swimming, and although they advanced through the water with slithering motions like a worm burrowing through soil, they weren’t built for speed.
Ernie was.
He rushed over to them so quickly Logan could hardly track him, his eyes gleaming with anticipation. Then, grasping the nearest snake with a tentacle, he used his suction cups to latch on, reeling it in and funneling it into his mouth. Tearing off the snake’s head, he spit it out and to the side, green goo dispersing around him.
Another snake, enraged at the sight, darted at Ernie like a cobra, but Ernie seemed thrilled rather than cautious. As if the fight were nothing but a fun game, he swam around the snake, toying with it before using another tentacle to reel it in, shaking it, as if Ernie were shaking a stuffed animal. The snake struggled, its green wings flapping like a fish’s fins to get away, but Ernie was stronger.
Ding!
[Your bonded companion has defeated a Level 30 Flying Hunting Snake! XP sharing reduced while an unequal relationship exists.]
[Your bonded companion has defeated a Level 30 Flying Hunting Snake! XP sharing reduced while an unequal relationship exists.]
Ernie flung the corpse against the other snake corpse like a cat playing with its food, his eyes alight. He watched the gory remains hit each other before letting them sink to the depths below, and then turned his attention to the last one.
But the Cursed Rope was already on the job, jumping through the water on its electric current and pouncing on the tail of the last snake. Glee glee glee kill kill kill, it sent back to Logan. Its secretions seemed to be less effective in the water due to dilution, but it still managed to eat through the snake’s body, severing its tail, a green explosion of goo and blood saturating the water before it jumped once again, this time wrapping itself around the snake’s neck and doing the same gory dance all over again.
This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.
Ding!
[You have defeated a Level 29 Flying Hunting Snake!]
[You have leveled up!]
Logan could feel pride through the bond as the rope uncoiled around the snake’s corpse and reluctantly slithered and jumped its way back to him. It hovered in front of him, as if eyeing a path for escape, communicating reluctance and resentment as if Logan were spoiling its fun.
Logan eyed it in return. He still couldn’t talk out loud, but he might be able to communicate the same way he did with Ernie. “Hey rope,” he said cautiously. “Great job out there, buddy. You really helped win the day.”
The rope didn’t seem impressed, but it moved closer to Logan, close enough for him to touch. As soon as he grasped the end, it deflated, its body shrinking in size and transforming into a regular rope once again.
Logan wasted no time and willed it into his spatial collar, letting out an internal sigh of relief as it disappeared. That had been dicey. He was starting to come around to the value of the rope, but he couldn’t help remembering the System’s message.
[Beware. It has a mind of its own.]
He was concerned the System had given him a weapon that had a catch 22. The rope was valuable and without it, they might not have come out of the situation alive, but at the same time, the fight had been with monsters. What if it had been a group of people?
When Logan had tried to get the rope to return to him, it had refused, and worst of all, it had been gleeful that it had been able to refuse in the first place. Still, it had gone straight for Logan’s enemies, and at no point had it seemed inclined to challenge Ernie. Perhaps it wasn’t as bad as he feared.
Logan eyed the surface of the lake. They’d dropped so far that it was hard to tell where the surface began, and other than Ernie, who was twirling in a victory dance, he couldn’t see any signs of other snakes. They might get out of this after all. Yet, there was no reason to tempt fate. There still had to be dozens of snakes up above, at least.
“Let’s swim closer to the shore,” he said to Ernie. “Keep below though, I don’t want the snakes to see us if they’re gliding up above.”
After everything, Logan found it difficult to believe they’d escaped, adrenaline still ramped up to the ninth degree, his nerves on fire with energy, his muscles bunched in anticipation of a fight.
Ernie stopped dancing, pushed closer to Logan, and blinked eagerly. “And we will catch tasty treats along the way?”
Logan held back a smirk. “Didn’t you have your fill with the snake heads?”
“Ugh! Those are not tasty treats!”
Demanding thing, he thought fondly. Logan pulled a fishing net from his spatial collar and agreed to be on the lookout as they swam towards the shore. Ernie could get there in half the time, but despite Logan’s agility and endurance increases, he was still human.
Speaking of increases, he’d leveled up in that fight so rapidly he’d lost count. It felt odd to review his stat screen while he was swimming, but he had time to burn.
Logan pulled up the full screen for a comprehensive review:
Name: Logan Hart [Hidden Name: Idiot]
Rank: 12,372 out of 6,399,195,028
Level: 30
Class: None
Grade: F3
Species: Human
Skills:
* Idiot’s Paradox Lv. 10
* Idiot’s Inspect Lv. 4
* Deepwater Explorer Lv. 3
* Life Cycle Master*
* Regenerate Lv. 4
* Mimicry Armour Lv. 1
Titles:
* Eager Beaver
* Mass Murderer
XP Progress: 2,000/60,000
Karma: 360/360
Intelligence: 60
Constitution: 41
Strength: 40
Agility: 36
Dexterity: 21
Endurance: 40
Perception: 20
Wisdom: 40
Luck: 40
Free Attribute Points: 45
KarmaCoin: 100
Damn. He couldn’t believe how far he’d advanced. He’d reached level 30, which meant his grade had changed to F3, causing a domino effect, upgrading both [Idiot’s Inspect] and [Regenerate]. That meant his limbs would regenerate faster and…
Hold on.
Logan touched the wound on his cheek, then bracing himself for pain, the injury on the back of his neck. The snakes had taken great chunks of flesh as they attacked, and the last time he’d checked, it had been healing, but both wounds had been missing flesh.
Now, they were tender, but the wounds had healed, and they hadn’t healed over a gaping hole. The flesh had filled in. He was whole. Holy crap, did that mean that as he leveled, he’d eventually reach a point where he could instantly heal gaping wounds? The possibilities were too extraordinary to contemplate.
As far as [Idiot’s Inspect], Logan stealthily scanned Ernie when he wasn’t looking.
[Murderous Octopus: Level 58. A marine cephalopod.]
[Highest Stat: Intelligence/Wisdom/Strength.]
Holy shit, hell yeah! He’d leveled up [Idiot’s Inspect] so that it gave him stat specific information. That would be a gamechanger in a fight, allowing Logan to adjust his tactics to account for his opponent’s strengths.
Logan wasn’t sure why it listed Ernie’s highest stat as a split between the three, but he could only assume it meant the stats were tied.
The other major change was an upgrade to his rank. It was hard to believe that out of over six billion people, he was ranked that high. A surge of pride shot through Logan, and he couldn’t help grinning as he swam through the water. His competition streak was rearing its head again. Logan was kicking ass.
Even more exciting was that he had free attribute points to burn, and for the first time in a long time, he wasn’t in the middle of a fight while contemplating his options. Logan had been wanting to upgrade his Karma pool and Karma regeneration rate in order to better utilize [Mimicry Armour], but also, for the potential benefits of [Life Cycle Master].
It was just a matter of tactics. He could throw all 45 points into his intelligence attribute, which would upgrade his Karma pool from 360 to 630, but that would leave only 40 points in wisdom. It was one thing to have a large Karma pool, but not if a deployed skill drained his Karma in seconds. With only 40 points in wisdom, he would have to be constantly starting and stopping. Logan wanted to make his pool irrelevant, and the only way to do that was to have a regeneration rate that was off the charts.
Calculating the math, he made his decision.
[Intelligence: 61]
[Intelligence: 62+]
[Intelligence: 85]
[Wisdom: 41]
[Wisdom: 42+]
[Wisdom: 60]
Logan put 25 points into intelligence, upgrading his Karma pool to 510, and twenty points into wisdom to give himself a 60-point Karma generation rate per minute.
As soon as the changes kicked in, he stuttered to a stop in the water, his eyes opening wide, brown bangs swaying in the current. He’d upgraded these stats before, but it had been a while since he’d upgraded them with such a large amount. His thoughts raced, awareness expanding, scene after scene, fight after fight, flashing through his mind. And just as quickly, the effects of the upgrade faded, everything returning to normal. It was that feeling you had after grasping something insightful only for it to fade away right at the tip of your fingers.
“Logan…?” Ernie asked. He must have circled back around when Logan came to a stop in the water.
“I’m fine,” said Logan, running a hand through his hair. “It was just—"
The System interrupted him.
Ding!
[2,403 pollution contributors: coal-fired power stations, have been purged from planet Earth. These scourges generated 10 billion tonnes of carbon each year. …Really, humans?]
[Do not attempt to assemble additional coal-fired power stations.]
[Ever.]
[In addition, 5,203 human instigators who retrofitted the pollution contributors: automobiles, aircraft, and watertight engine-powered vessels have once again been purged from planet Earth.]
[Good news, human! Due to the elimination of the human instigators and the pollution contributor: coal-fired power stations, your ranking has increased.]
[902,394 humans have been eliminated—]
[Recalculating…]
[1,402,942 humans—]
[Recalculating…]
[2,328,392 humans have been eliminated.]
[Current rank: 12,370 out of 6,396,892,328.]
[You are currently in the 1%.]
[Advance and grow.]