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Idiot’s Paradox: A LitRPG Apocalyptic Adventure [Book 1 Complete]
Chapter 23: A Wriggling Flower Tentacle Tongue

Chapter 23: A Wriggling Flower Tentacle Tongue

They rushed down the winding dock, taking a turn which led towards the sign for gas where Jack had tied off the boat. Tourists had gathered around the boat, edging close, held back by Matt, the resort attendant who had helped fill up their tank. His blue work shirt was torn at the collar, his knobbly knees red with blood and bruises. He held a spear gun, pointing it at people and pushing them away. “Get back! Back! This isn’t your boat!”

On the opposite side of the dock, Sara, the other resort attendant, stood in front of another speedboat, holding a shovel across her chest as a barrier, keeping people away. Strands of hair had escaped her perky blond ponytail as if something had pulled on it.

Logan used [Idiot’s Inspect] on them both.

[Sara Tarner: Level 1]

[Matt Almaton: Level 2]

It looked as if Matt had gotten his wished-for violence.

“What are you doing?” Logan said as they approached. “Let these people on the boats.”

They both shot uncertain looks at Jack.

Jack frowned. “Do you think that’s a good idea? We’re strapped for resources as it is.”

“Do I think it’s a good idea to save people from being killed? From becoming zombies?” Logan was incredulous. “Let them on!”

With that statement, Logan’s concerns about Jack resurfaced. He’d come back; he hadn’t completely abandoned Logan, but if their situations had been reversed, they’d never be having this conversation in the first place. He’d given him the benefit of the doubt—grief at the loss of his family; the stress of the situation—but Logan had lost his rose-tinted glasses.

Had Jack ever been a good person?

Brad rushed by Logan and pushed Sara to the side as he jumped onto the boat. It swayed under his weight, and he almost put a hole in the hull as he braced himself with his patio umbrella pole. Six other tourists followed, scrambling into the boat, knocking knees, getting trampled. There were a range of people—from a young boy just past adolescence to an older woman who had to be in her 70s. One commonality was the fear on their faces, and the level zero indication above all of their heads.

“Sara, do you have the keys?”

She nodded and climbed aboard, resting her shovel against the end of the boat.

“Everyone else, on the other boat!” said Logan, urging Tasha forward. Matt shoved people to the side, keeping a tight grip on his spear gun as he took the first spot. Eight people including Tasha jumped on after, packed like sardines. Jack and Logan climbed on last, and Logan unwound the rope from the dock anchor.

Logan glanced down the dock. Other tourists were still climbing onto anything that floated, swarming the boats and canoes, some paddling with their hands, others using the shirts off their backs. The minions kept swarming—more and more poured down to the beach as gestating minions stopped gestating and transformed into full-on undead.

The people who reached a boat seemed to be out of range of the wiggling fungi tentacles. They may survive after all…

Wait.

What the hell?

Twenty feet away from them, another stranded boat lurched in the water, the people screaming as they scrambled away from one side. The boat slumped to the left as the one-sided weight made it unstable. Logan had enough time to see a grasping fungi tentacle come out of the water and latch onto someone, pulling them overboard, before the rest of the tourists panicked, screaming and climbing over themselves, edging as far as way as possible. Most of them fell into the water, others jumped to avoid being trampled.

“Oh fuck. Who has the keys?!” These things could swim; either that, or they could survive in the water without breathing.

“I do,” said Jack. “Let me through.” He tried to shove his way to the front of the boat, but the passengers were still gaping at the scene in front of them. So distracted, they neglected to notice what was going on right in front of them.

But Logan noticed.

His increased perception picked up the sound of rushing water, as if something massive was swimming towards them, followed by a splash and a bobbing head. Next to the bow, the thing resembled a squid, with its squirming fingernail tentacles waving in the water, reaching for the nearest living being. But beyond his first impression, Logan could clearly make out the human-like features of the former man, now transformed into a blue weaved undead minion.

[Level Five Undead Minion.]

It was Martin! He’d leveled up.

The minion used its fingernail tentacles to latch onto the edge of the boat, prying itself up, its mouth open in an unholy scream, flower tentacle tongue wiggling. Within its gaping wide open chest, more flower tentacles swarmed, trying to grasp onto anything within reach.

The other people in the boat had finally noticed and started screaming. Logan grabbed a man before he jumped back on the dock. There was no escape that way, only death.

“Jack, start the boat!” Logan swung his baseball bat at the latching tentacles, but unlike the level one or two minions, this thing was stronger. It was like hitting the web of a thousand spiders. It broke some strands, but others remained.

The engine turned over and Jack rammed it full speed. Tasha gripped Logan’s arm to hold steady as they rapidly moved through the water and left the dock behind.

Logan peered over the side of the boat into the water. Ah, shit. The minion had latched onto the side of the boat with its tentacles, and they were dragging it along. It reminded him of the scene from Jaws where the shark almost capsized the boat while pulling on the floating barrels. The only way they’d escape this thing was by killing it.

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“Jack, stop the boat!”

“What?” he shouted over the wind.

Tasha gave him a worried glance. “Are we killing this thing?”

“We’re killing this thing,” Logan confirmed and then raised his voice. “We’re dragging it along! If we don’t stop, we’ll take it all the way to the cabin.”

The others made sounds of dismay as Jack slowed and then idled to a stop. They didn’t have time to complain before the minion had taken the reduced drag as an opportunity to resume its attack.

Tasha raised her cleaver, but Logan held her back. “Wait until it gets closer. Severing the tentacles won’t kill it. It’ll just latch on again. We need a head hit.”

But that was easier said than done. The minion reeled itself in closer, climbing the boat with its tentacles, its wiggling flower tongue like a whip as it tried to latch onto someone.

There was no room for error. The people behind him hadn’t leveled yet, and one touch of the tentacles would mean they’d have more gestating minions to deal with on top of everything else.

Tasha screamed and slashed the tongue with her cleaver. It went clean through, severing it, but more wiggling fungi worms advanced, healing the cut and reforming the long tongue.

“Look out!” said Matt, pushing a way clear as he aimed his spear gun. With a snap, it sunk into the cavity in the minion’s chest, getting stuck. Matt might have slapped it for all the impact it had. It continued lashing its tentacle fingernails, reaching, reaching. But while it did, it had latched onto one side of the boat, a stationary target.

That was the opening they needed. Logan slammed his baseball bat down on its shoulder, taking out a chunk of fungus flesh, followed by a whack to its head, cleaving off part of its face.

But the minion’s higher level meant that it had the same healing powers as the level ten minion. Not quite as strong, the weave wasn’t reforming as fast, but if Logan didn’t continue slamming away at that same spot, they’d never kill it.

Logan went to town. Hit after hit, his biceps burning, sweat beading on his forehead and soaking the collar of his dress shirt.

One hit.

Two.

Three.

Would this thing never die?

Four.

Ding!

[You have defeated a Level Five Undead Minion! Experience points reduced and awarded based on contributions made.]

[You have leveled up!]

Hell yes! That’s what he was talking about!

Logan must have obtained enough experience to finally push through to another level. The euphoria of the level increase hardly registered as he clung to the edge of the boat, hanging on with white knuckled fingers while he watched the remains of what was formerly Martin drop to the lake bottom.

With a frantic mumble, Matt yanked on the rod of his spear gun, and it finally returned to him as the minion dropped deeper and deeper, so deep that blackness swallowed it whole. Even though Logan had received the System notification, it was hard to believe it was dead.

Logan ran his hand through his hair, trying to push back some of the wet strands that had been soaked with all the splashing. “Jack, put some distance between us and the resort and see if you can catch up to the other boat.”

Logan didn’t have to tell him twice.

As they left the resort behind and sped through the water, his heart gradually stopped racing, until he slumped against the side of the boat, exhausted. Even now, a mile away from the resort and climbing, he was still ramped up.

Tasha bumped his side with her elbow, giving him a smile and gesturing to their feet. “Guess you managed to get that gas after all.” There was a red gas container against the side of the boat, the faint outline of liquid at the top indicating it was full.

With that, Logan finally felt the last of his adrenaline dropping. That was enough to get to Hope’s End and back again. Once he managed to charge his phone, he’d finally have a way to get to Lara and the kids.

Jack slowed the boat as they caught up with the other speedboat and it circled to meet them. They met side by side, a foot of water between them. The people in the other boat still had anxious expressions, but they were no longer full of stark fear.

“You managed to shake that thing off, then?” asked Brad from the wheel. “Glad to see it. This boat doesn’t have enough fuel to make it to Hope’s End and I know shit all about where to go.”

When Jack didn’t speak up, Logan raised his voice. “Jack has a cabin across the lake. There’s food, even solar power, lots of room. We have an extra container of gas, too, so we might be able to head to the city as soon as everyone’s had a chance to recharge.”

Jack had a pinched expression as he listened, but he didn’t object. “You can follow us, I guess.” Jack switched on the power without another word.

Logan shot him a worried frown as the boat picked up speed, wind whipping his face. There was no telling what Jack would do. If Eleanor were still in charge, she would have welcomed them with a mischievous smile. Jack was a different story. But Logan was still a guest in his home and there was a limit to what he could do. Speak up, object too loudly, and he might lose a viable safe haven for Lara and the kids.

Logan glanced around at the people packed into the boat. There were six people he didn’t know, not to mention Tasha, Matt, and Jack. With the extra weight, it was a wonder the boat was even running at all.

The nearest tourist was about his age, tall and slender, with curly hair down to her shoulders.

“I’m Logan. What’s your name?”

The woman shaded her eyes from the sun with her hand as she peered at him. “Sam. Thank you for saving us. We would have died if it hadn’t been for you.”

Logan scratched his neck. “Nah, you would have gotten on a boat even without me. I didn’t do much.”

The woman shot a frown at Jack, her stance shrinking. “I wouldn’t be so sure about that. You saved our lives.”

“Sam’s right,” said a man next to her, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. He had short hair in a buzz cut, a tattoo over the side of his neck. “You saved us. Thank you.” He held out his hand for Logan to shake.

Awkward. “Er, right.” After Logan shook it, he shifted his feet, then turned around, pretending to examine the side of the boat. There went introducing himself to the rest of the tourists. Yeah, he might have saved their lives, but Logan had done what anyone would have done. You shouldn’t get thanked for being a decent human being. And if the world had gotten so bad that he was the best of the lot, then they were in serious trouble.

The cabin came into view and Jack slowed the boat as they approached. He idled up to the dock and nudged it forward. Logan jumped out when he was close enough, grabbing the rope and anchoring the boat. “We’re here,” he said to Tasha, “let me help you out—”

She leaped onto the dock.

“—or not.” Logan helped anyone else who needed it until everyone was out and then waved over the other boat, pointing to the opposite side of the dock.

Brad maneuvered the boat right next to theirs, close enough to touch.

Jack raised his voice and pointed to the other side. “No, over there!”

Brad ignored him, getting on his toes and peering into the bottom of their tied off boat. He left the wheel and jumped from his boat to theirs.

Jack fingered the barrel of his shotgun. “What’s that idiot doing?”

Brad reached down, giving them a look, before rushing back to his boat, hands full of…

“Is that…?” said Tasha. “It’s the gas carton! He’s stealing it!”

That motherfucker. If he thought he could take the gas and strand them, he had another thing coming. Logan tightened his grip on the handle of his bat. He’d worked too hard to fail Lara now. That asshole—

BOOM.

Both boats exploded in a fireball, the blast knocking Logan and everyone on the dock off their feet, his ears ringing. Then with a massive wave of air, a hole in space sucked in the fire, smoke, and debris like a vacuum cleaner inside of a black hole. By the time the rift closed, there wasn’t even the scent of fire in the air.

The lake was spotless—no gas floating on the surface, no debris.

It was as if Brad and the others had never been there at all.