They left Urden with responsibility piled so high in the wagon behind them that it kept falling out the back and they had to keep stopping to retrieve it. And then the clouds above that had been welling up all day finally burst. The rain was tolerable under the enormous canopy, but the way it made everything around them even stickier than before wasn’t. And Tobei couldn’t stop thinking about the sight of those tavern hands hauling away his precious cargo.
And he’d hurt Sen. Again.
The boy tried to hide it, but Tobei saw the stiffness in his smile, noticed how much quieter he’d gotten. Sen always insisted he understood when Tobei explained he didn’t want anything serious, anything exclusive. He always insisted he was fine. Maybe he even believed it. But Tobei didn’t.
The camp received them like heroes. It greatly improved Tobei’s shitty mood.
So it was sweet relief to see the smiling faces at camp that grabbed the blankets, the bandages, the medicines, the clothes, the food. Sack upon sack of grain, slabs of cured meat, massive jars of pickled vegetables, and about a million potatoes, which even elicited a “Hot damn!” from Doll. She always said every meal should include a potato.
Once the wagon was emptied and the horses untacked and Kunin had peed on the wagon again, Kadie patted Tobei on his sweat-and-rain-drenched back and said, “You have no idea the weight this lifts, Tobe.”
Behind her, Lenna scoffed, just finishing marking up the additions to their inventory on a piece of parchment she had against the slab of wood in her arms.
Kadie pretended she hadn’t heard it, for which Tobei was grateful. He pulled her into a tight, damp side hug and said, “Happy to help.”
She squeezed him back and said, “Now let’s cover this thing and get out of the rain.”
They didn’t need to cover the wagon in branches and undergrowth because no one ever stumbled upon their camp in the first place, but it was just habit now. As soon as it was covered, Tobei started toward Sen—he needed to talk to him. Make sure he was alright before the guilt drove Tobei to finish off the few jugs of alcohol he had left.
But Lenna stepped in his way.
She looked even worse than she had that morning. Ragged face, eyes slightly glazed, and a different scarf tied around her neck this time. He caught a whiff of fresh blood coming from her neck, and something about it turned his stomach.
With Kadie off to the infirmary to organize her new supplies, there was no buffer between them—Sen didn’t matter to Lenna. Anyone who fawned over Tobei meant nothing to her.
“Pathetic” she named him, her board and paper propped on one hip, now wet enough to be illegible. “Playing savior like you weren’t the sinner to put us in this mess. If I hadn’t spoken at the meeting, we’d still be starving and you’d still be killing yourself and us drinking that—”
“Yeah, yeah,” Tobei waved a hand and showed his teeth, stepping around Lenna. “I’m a selfish bastard and you’re a selfless saint. I know, Len.”
Lenna grabbed his arm, her face twisted. “Compared to you, yeah.”
This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
Surprising them both, Sen piped up. “You approved the party too, Lenna.”
Without missing a beat, Lenna told Tobei, “I don’t give a shit what words fall from your little fucktoy’s mouth.”
“Mother Dark, Lenna,” Tobei said lightly, pulling his arm from her grasp and continuing toward Sen. “You’re strung tighter than Nani.” He tapped his violin’s case. “Go get laid or something—Ah, wait, I forgot. Even if Daivad were here, he wouldn’t touch you.”
In an instant, Lenna had pulled her sword, and in the next instant there was the shhhing of metal on metal and it was flying from her hand and falling to the wet grass. The flat part of Nani’s bow rested against Lenna’s ear, the blade resonating, whispering sweet violence, and a severed strand of her red hair fluttered toward the ground. Her lip curled, her eyes bugged, her chest heaved, but there was nothing she could do.
Tobei patted the side of her face with Nani’s blade and said, “Get some sleep, Len,” before tucking Nani’s bow back in her case and snapping it shut, throwing an arm over the shoulders of a grinning Sen.
Of course, she was right.
You’re a fucking alcoholic, Tobeicus.
He was every bit as pathetic as she said, and the truth of that settled heavy and spoiled in his gut as he and Sen climbed up into the canopy. Already the toxic chorus in his head had started up and their tempo built with every second that passed. Mother Dark, Tobei needed a drink.
He said goodbye to Sen and turned toward home where one of his stashed jugs waited for him, but Sen’s gentle voice stopped him.
“Tobei?” Those sweet brown eyes blinked up at him. “She’s full of shit. Don’t listen to a word she says.”
Tobei showed Sen his teeth. “I know, don’t worry.”
“Now who’s full of shit?” Sen asked, smiling to soften the words. The boy was definitely spending too much time around him.
This time, Tobei’s smile was genuine. Quieter. “I’m alright, Sen.”
“Good.” Sen took a step toward him, making the landing under them creak. “‘Cause I can’t name a kinder heart in this whole camp than yours.”
“I can,” Tobei said, to cover the mixture of discomfort and affection that swirled around inside him. “Yours, for one.”
Sen looked down, a blush spreading across those freckled cheeks. “No, not like you.”
Tobei squirmed, his body reacting despite that vicious chorus telling him to leave sweet Sen alone, to keep his filthy, hungry hands off him. Tobei tried hard not to listen to the pounding of Sen’s heart, or the sound of his warm breath through his lips—but the harder he tried, the more that was all he could hear.
Before he could respond, Sen continued, taking another step toward him. The rain had turned his cherry-brown hair almost black and plastered it to his forehead so he had to blink it from those soft brown eyes. “You make the people around you feel good. You notice someone’s hurt sometimes before they do. That party? We needed that. A reminder that we deserve to have fun—you gave us that.”
“Ah.” Tobei actually felt himself blushing, couldn’t even meet Sen’s eyes. He didn’t know what to do with words so sweet. “It was an excuse to get drunk.”
“You’ve never needed one of those before.” Sen’s hand came up to rest against his cheek, sending sparks across Tobei’s skin. Sen’s warm, woodsy scent mixed with the smell of damp leaves was intoxicating. Even if his words were sweet shit. “You’re a good man, Tobei. You make better the lives of everyone you meet.”
The Chaos inside Tobei spilled over. The need to touch Sen combined with the need to shut him up pushed Tobei forward, pulled his hand up to grip Sen behind the neck. He kissed Sen hard, and Sen melted into him.
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Author's Note: Aaand the rest of that interaction between Tobei and Sen is a Patreon exclusive lol! Feel free to check out patreon.com/likegemstone for exclusive scenes, extra content, early releases of the story and art~
Thanks so much for reading, and I'll be back with Daivad and Kure wrecking half of Luvatha, Pait's fate, a new deep-sea monster, and much more in Episode 4 very soon!
Gem <3