Still hanging around the giant Pac Land arcade, all the players started looking at their screens after the announcement, some of them seeming excited at the prospect of the quest and earning some good loot.
As for me, I wasn’t sure. I just wanted to complete the Trials so I could make it through this shitshow and then… what? Go back to my old life? That ship had already sailed and it wasn’t coming back.
Truth is, I wasn’t sure what my motivation was beyond simple survival. No matter what the ‘grand prize’ was at the end of all this, it felt like my life was already over. The problem I had wasn’t a material one, but an existential one. But as ever, I turned away from that yawning void of blackness and focused on what was in front of me instead, because what the hell else was I gonna do?
“Alright,” I sighed, bringing up my screen, going into my notifications and following the link to the Quest Menu. But before I could reveal any details, I was asked by the system if I would be taking on the quest as an individual or as a party.
I looked at Annalise and Snuggles, who were most likely seeing the same question. “Well?” I said. “What are we doing? Are we going to form a party or what?” The question was directed at Annalise, since Snuggles had already made his feelings on the matter clear.
“Sure,” Annalise said. “Why not? But I’m not taking orders from you, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
“Of course not. Everything we do, we do for the good of the party. Right?”
“Right.”
“Okay then.”
We spent the next five minutes arranging everything in our systems, following the steps to form our little party. Then we spent another five minutes arguing over what we were going to name the party. Snuggles suggested ‘The Monster Party’ because we were all monsters apparently. I told him to wise up.
“The Three Ninjas,” Annalise said with a smirk.
“Jesus, you two are killing me. Other people might end up joining the party, you know.”
“You plan to expand?”
“Maybe, if it makes sense. I dunno.”
“That sounds like a whole lot of problems, Kade. Are you some sort of fearless leader now?”
“No, far from it. But if working as a team makes things easier, then why not?”
“I don’t like large groups. Things get messy when there are too many people involved.”
“Look, it’ll just be the three of us for now,” I said. “Let’s just see how it goes first. What about calling us the ‘Damned and Dangerous Party’?”
“Damned and Dangerous?” Annalise mulled it over. “Jesus, fine. What does it matter, anyway?”
“I like it, Kade,” Snuggles said with a grin. “Damned and Dangerous. That’s us.”
“Damned and Dangerous it is then.”
It took a few minutes to arrange everything within our menus and get linked up. A system notification then appeared explaining that all loot from now on would be shared amongst the party, but when it came to kills, the party member who did the most damage would get first pick of any loot. The system also said that Trials may still be for individuals only and that full party participation was not guaranteed.
“So that’s that,” I said, when everything was sorted. “Now let’s check out our quest, shall we?”
I brought the quest details up on my screen, as did Annalise and Snuggles.
Limbo Quest #1: Sonic Safeguard Initiative
Location: Glitch Haven
Urgency: High
Reward: 5000 XP, Rare Equipment Drop, Increased City Reputation
Description:
Neon Purgatory is under imminent threat from a horde of Decibel Demons, vicious creatures drawn to the city's vibrant energy. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to reactivate the city's ancient sonic defense system.
Primary Objectives:
1. Locate the defunct radio tower in the Static Sector of Neon Purgatory
2. Repair the tower's crucial components
3. Calibrate and activate the sonic barrier
Note: This quest is optimized for group play. Solo attempts are not recommended.
After reading the quest details and accepting it, I brought up the map and saw the marker for Glitch Haven, which didn't seem all that far away. And indeed, when I cleared my screen, I soon saw a looming city to the north that only seemed like it was a few miles away.
"Did that city just appear?" I asked no one. "What the hell?"
"It did," Snuggles said. "They probably created it just for this quest, and maybe for some other quests too."
"They can do that?" Annalise asked, staring at the city in the distance, which was a chaotic skyline of impossible architecture and pulsing neon lights.
“They sure can. In this place, they can create anything in an instant. In fact, every player here will have a totally different experience. It’s to stop players from teaming up and working together to overcome challenges. Plus, it stops the vast galactic audience from having to watch the same scenarios all the time. Hence why all our Trials were different as well.”
“Damn,” I said. “Can’t believe they created a whole city just for us.”
“It’s more likely that they moved it from somewhere else in Limbo,” Snuggles said. “They just brought it closer to us. The inhabitants will hardly notice since most of them never leave the city anyway. Their jobs as NPCs is just to live there and fulfill whatever role they’ve been given.”
“How big is this place anyway?” Annalise asked.
“Limbo? Massive. Probably as vast as Earth, which explains why other players are always sparse. They’ve all been spread out around the Circle.”
Glitch Haven lived up to its name in every sense. From a distance, it looked like a megalopolis caught in a constant state of digital decay. Skyscrapers twisted and warped, their forms shifting subtly as if struggling to maintain cohesion. Neon signs flickered and buzzed, occasionally displaying garbled text or exploding in showers of pixelated sparks.
The city's layout seemed to defy logic, with streets that looped back on themselves and buildings that appeared to occupy the same space simultaneously. Holographic billboards projected larger-than-life advertisements for products that couldn't possibly exist, their images glitching and distorting every few seconds.
A haze of electronic static hung over the city like a fog, occasionally coalescing into fleeting shapes or faces before dissipating. The entire metropolis pulsed with an otherworldly energy, as if it was powered by the fevered dreams of a mad AI.
As we watched, parts of the city seemed to render in and out of existence, whole blocks disappearing and reappearing in the blink of an eye. It was a place where reality itself seemed to be coming apart at the seams, a digital nightmare made manifest in the twisted landscape of Infernum.
"Well," I said, trying to mask my unease with bravado, "looks like we're in for one hell of a trip. You guys ready to dive into that mess?"
Annalise nodded grimly, while Snuggles let out a low whistle. "Into the glitch we go," he muttered. "Let's hope we don't come out more scrambled than we already are."
On the way to the city, we each stopped off at our Safe Circle locations to get some food and an hour’s rest. Even Snuggles had his own SC now, which he seemed happy about. After the Trial, I felt like I needed protein to recover, so I ordered a T-bone steak from the food hatch. I tried to order a beer as well, but got this message in response:
Upgrade Needed!
“Fine,” I said, ordering a coke instead. “Glad I’m not an alcoholic or anything.”
As I sat drinking my coke, I brought up my screen so I could open the loot boxes I’d acquired during the Trial. But before I could even look at the boxes, an ugly, bug eyed face appeared behind my translucent screen and I jumped back in alarm. “What the fuck?”
“Relax, Kade my boy, it’s only me.”
“Grik? You son of a bitch, you scared the shit out of me.”
Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.
Grik, still in his octopus form, let out a cackle, then said, “As your Trials Guide, I just thought I would pop in and see how you are doing. Congratulations, by the way, on completing your first Trial! I watched the footage. You did very well. Principle Vernon wasn’t any easy foe. But you cleverly defeated him, Kade. You must be proud.”
“Proud? I’m just glad it’s over. My party and I are about to go on a quest to Glitch Haven.”
“Yes, I know. I’m surprised you formed a party at all, Kade. I had you pegged as a loner.”
“I normally am. Least I was in my old life. Here, I figured that might not be the wisest choice.”
“Hmm, we shall see, won’t we?” Grik floated around the room for a moment, then asked about Herbie Floss. “You had a lucky escape there, Kade. When I heard you had gone to that fair to save another player, I must admit, I cursed your naivety.”
“Naivety?”
“Yes. You could’ve been killed before your game could even properly begin.”
“But I wasn’t killed. We made it out.”
“Yes, and now you have that awful man Floss on your tail now. Trust me, he’ll catch up to you soon enough. You had better be prepared for that. There are many who would enjoy seeing him turn you into candy floss, Kade.”
“How are my ratings?” I asked, changing the subject. “Am I making a name for myself yet?”
“That information is not yet available to players,” Grik said. “Though between you and me, I think you made an impact during your Trial. The way you handled the Breakfast Club cast was pretty damn sweet.”
“Thanks. Let’s hope I’ll do as well in the next Trial.”
“Keep powering up and you’ll do just fine. How are your skills coming along?”
“I haven’t really checked yet. Hold on.”
Bringing up the Skills Menu, I scanned the various skills, surprised to see almost all of them had leveled up a good bit. My main combat skills stood as follows:
Van Damme - Level 5
+25% kicking damage (5% per level)
+25% kick speed and precision (5% per level)
Hogan - Level 4
+20% wrestling proficiency (5% per level)
Unarmed Combat - Level 5
+25% base effectiveness (5% per level)
Bonus: +12% chance to stun
Thunderdome Fists - Level 5
+25% base effectiveness (5% per level)
Bonus: +12% chance to stun
Drago's Destroyer - Level 2
+10% punch damage (5% per level)
Bonus: Each punch thrown increases the power of the next punch by 2% (up to 10%)
Blast Master - Level 2
10% base effectiveness
Bonus: 5% chance to create a secondary, smaller explosion upon detonation
“Wow, Kade, you’re really leveling up those combat skills,” Grik said, sounding genuinely proud of my progress. Who said demons were all bad? “You came in here with good base level skills, so that certainly helped. I’d say you’re even stronger and more skilled than your average 80s action hero now!”
“There are a lot of other skills here as well,” I said, scanning the list of non-grayed out skills.
“Yes, don’t worry so much about those. It’s your combat skills that really matter, and later, your proficiency with various weapons, such as the chain you acquired. It came in handy after all, didn’t it?”
“I guess so. When will I be able to get better weapons?”
“Soon enough, you’ll have the chance to pick up weapons. Perhaps even in your quest to Glitch Haven.”
“Like guns?”
“Eh, those are rare here. The show runners prefer messier deaths. Guns can be a little too clean, and dare I say, easy.”
“God forbid killing should be too easy.”
“Open your chests, Kade. Let’s see what you earned from the Trial.”
I brought the chests up on my screen so they were hovering one behind the other.
I had five Infernal Iron chests that I got for killing the various mobs I came across, and from the Trial presumably as well. As I expected, the items weren’t too great, mostly useless junk, some more lighters, nibbles, extra water bottles, a few Mana Potions and Health Potions. The haul also included:
Paperclip of Marginal Utility x2
For when you absolutely need to break into something, but not too urgently. Can be used to pick simple locks. 5% chance to break on each use.
Essence of Mediocrity Cologne x1
Smell average. Be forgettable. Reduces enemy detection range by 5%. Increases chance of being ignored by NPCs
I opened the Sinner’s Silver chests next, of which there were two.
Sinner’s Silver Saver Chest (for saving another player from certain doom)
100 gold coins
Scroll of Elemental Annoyance
Sinner’s Silver Wrestler’s Chest (for beating the athlete during the first Trial)
The Bulk Hogan Holder x1
I had in my hand what appeared to be a neon yellow jockstrap. The info box described it thus:
Brother, when you strap this bad boy on, you better be ready to run wild! It's got more attitude than a cage full of angry superstars, and it'll have you body-slamming your way to victory faster than you can say 'Let me tell you something!'
+15% to Wrestling skill
+2 to Strength when grappling
+10% resistance to low blows and groin attacks
5% chance to automatically counter any grapple attempt with a signature move
Wearer's voice becomes 20% more gravelly and authoritative
-10% to Stealth (it's hard to be stealthy in neon yellow)
Bonus: grants the ability "Hulk Up" once per day: For 30 seconds, user gains +50% to all physical stats, but can only speak in wrestling catchphrases
“Pretty cool, Kade,” Grik said. “That should really help you when it comes to manhandling your enemies, yes?”
“Yeah,” I said, holding up the garish jockstrap, which smelled faintly of old sweat and cheese. “Not sure about the cool part, but I’m sure it will come in handy.”
“Try it on then so I can squirt ink from laughing so hard.”
I nodded, resigned to my fate as the universe's cosmic jester. "Alright, you ink-spewing pervert. Prepare to be dazzled by the majesty of 'The Bulk Hogan Holder.'"
With as much dignity as I could muster—which, let's face it, wasn't much—I slipped the neon yellow monstrosity over my jeans. The moment it snapped into place, I felt a surge of energy course through me, along with an inexplicable urge to flex and point at imaginary fans.
"Oh brother!" I bellowed, my voice suddenly gruff and booming. "The Bulk Hogan Holder is ready to run wild on you!"
Grik's eyes widened before he burst into laughter so hard his whole body shook. True to his word, ink began to spurt from various parts of his body, creating a Jackson Pollock-esque mess on the floor of my SC.
"By the Overseers," he wheezed between fits of laughter, "you look like a mustached banana had a lovechild with a pro wrestler!"
I struck a pose, channeling my inner 80s wrestling superstar. "Whatcha gonna do when these 24-inch pythons and this nuclear wedgie run wild on you?!"
Grik's laughter reached a new crescendo, ink now spraying in all directions like a demented sprinkler. "Stop, stop!" he gasped, tentacles flailing. "I can't take it anymore! You're killing me!"
“Jesus Christ,” I said, laughing despite myself. “This shit can’t get any more bizarre, I swear.”
While Grik did his best to pull himself together, I focused on opening the rest of my chests.
Gluttons Gold Chest (for being a Trial winner!)
Thrill of the Fight Smashers
Slip these bad boys on and you'll be serving up knuckle sandwiches with a side of radical! When a punch is landed, you’ll hear the opening riffs to “Eye of the Tiger” by Survivor, just to make the whole experience that bit more thrilling.
Stats and Effects:
+20% to Unarmed Combat skill
+15% to Thunderdome Fists skill
+10% to Drago's Destroyer skill
+3 to Strength when punching
10% chance to add a "Dazzle" effect to punches, briefly disorienting opponents with a flash of neon light
+20% resistance to hand injuries
Wearer's hair becomes slightly more voluminous and windswept
Bonus:
"Rhythm of the Fight": Landing five consecutive hits without taking damage triggers a brief montage effect, granting +25% attack speed for 10 seconds.
“I must admit, I do like these,” I said to Grik after the studded leather fingerless gloves slipped themselves over my hands. “I’ve always wanted a pair of these bad boys, but I didn’t want to walk around like a character from Streets of Rage, so I never bothered. And wouldn’t you know it, now I might as well be a character from that game!”
“And you look righteous!” Grik exclaimed, clapping his tentacles together. “My boy is growing up!”
“Steady on there, Grik, I’m not your boy. How many other players are you looking after?”
“None. Just you. Each player has their own unique game guide.”
“Right. Then maybe I am your boy.”
“You are Kade, and you will be for as long as you remain in the Trials.”
“As long as I don’t die, you mean.”
“Yes. You have another gold chest to open. Let’s see what you got.”
I opened the final chest.
Glutton’s Gold Righteous Bomber Chest
You bombed the shit out of Herbie Floss’ Candy Floss machine! The first person to ever do so! Honestly, I would’ve given you a higher level chest just for ruining that bastard’s day, but you can’t earn anything higher than gold in the First Circle. So I present to you…
The Boom Box Boombox - Level 1
+20% to Blast Master skill when using this item
30% chance to play "The Final Countdown" by Europe before detonating, giving enemies a brief warning
Has three explosive modes, activated by pressing specific combinations of buttons:
a) "Pop Rock" - A small, localized explosion (equivalent to a hand grenade)
b) "Heavy Metal" - A larger blast with shrapnel (equivalent to a satchel charge)
c) "Death Metal" - A massive explosion with a wide radius (think small tactical nuke)
Each mode can only be used once per day.
5% chance of malfunctioning and playing "Never Gonna Give You Up" by Rick Astley instead of exploding.
“Rick Ashley, huh?” I said. “At least the mobs will get Rick-rolled if nothing else.”
“Yes,” Grik said. “They may all start dancing as well, which will at least give you time to flee in humiliation, so not all bad.”
“This thing is actually pretty damn sweet.” I held the weighty boombox, which had chrome accents and an actual tape deck. The tape inside was a mixtape labeled ‘Explosive Hits of the 80s.’ I pressed play and “I Wanna Rock” by Twisted Sister came on. “Jesus, it actually plays music.”
“It does indeed!” Grik said, bobbing his large head in time with the guitar riffs blaring from the speakers. “And that’s not all, Kade. Each of those songs will enhance attributes and performance in some way.”
“Really? That’s rad, dude.” I shook my head. “I’m getting into this way too much.”
Grik laughed. “It’s good to see you embracing the spirit of things, Kade. As for the music, you won’t know which song enhances what until you actually test each one out.”
“Well, I look forward to discovering what this baby can do.”
“You are very luck to get such a powerful item at this early stage of the game, Kade,” Grik said as I put the boombox into my inventory. “Even as a reward for what you did to Floss’ machine, it’s still above and beyond.”
“Meaning what?” I asked.
“I’m not sure. Maybe someone is looking down on you.”
“The AI?”
“Perhaps. Time will tell.”
“Is that normal, for the AI to chose favorites?”
“Not at all. Take it as a blessing for now. But remember that everyone here has an ulterior motive.”
“Even the AI?”
“Before I would’ve said no, but now I’m not so sure.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Even you, Grik?”
Grik narrowed his own eyes in response, then said in a cryptic tone, “Wouldn’t you like to know, Kade.”
“What?”
“I’m just kidding.” He turned away quickly. “I’m only here to serve, Kade. Now, I suggest you get going now. You only have forty-eight hours left to complete the First Circle. Time’s-a-tickin’.
“Jesus, I’ve only been in this place a day? It feels like a goddamn eternity.”
“Wait until you get to Glitch Haven,” Grik said mysteriously.
“What? What does that mean? Grik?”
But he vanished without answering.