“Understood…” - Our Hokage slightly frowned, enduring this moral trauma. - “And you, Sasuke, what technique did you use?”

“It was genjutsu” - he replied briefly, trying not to draw attention to himself.

“So, Kakashi just imagined his head exploded?” - Danzo didn’t believe it, removing his henge.

At that moment, their gazes met. Sasuke saw the man who was responsible for him becoming a transmigrant in a rather unconventional sense of the term. The brakes in his head immediately failed, and he used his ability, blowing Danzo’s brain. This wasn’t some unexpected outburst unless you considered the destruction of one of the village elders in the presence of its strongest representatives and a couple of dozen bodyguards.

“Arrest him!!!” - Utatane Koharu unexpectedly screeched at the top of her lungs, pointing at Sasuke.

The crowd immediately switched on their combat reflexes and rushed at us, trying either to capture or kill us on the spot. I didn’t bother figuring out what exactly they had in mind and used my Chakra Chains jutsu to bind the surrounding people, simultaneously blocking their abilities by infusing my ‘healing’ chakra into their circulation system. Surprisingly, instead of experiencing shock, mental fog, or chakra pathway rupture, the victims of my technique experienced multiple orgasms and then simply blacked out. Only the Hokage, Kakashi, and Hyuga remained conscious.

“Calm down” - I addressed the already nirvana-stricken surroundings. - “Everything is under control. Sasuke just eliminated a traitor who was plotting to overthrow the current Hokage to take his place. See, it took us a minute to uncover this nefarious scheme and save the village! This shows once again how great and genius we are!”

“Khhaaa...” - the rescued one coughed out a cloud of smoke. - “Naruto, you...” - At this point, Sarutobi’s words ended, and he took a drag from his pipe.

“No need to thank us” - I waved off generously. - “Saving the village is our direct duty. Right, Sasuke?” - I decided to involve my partner in the conversation. Sakura was still engrossed in the book and hadn’t even noticed the crisis that had just passed us.

“Yeah, exactly” - Uchiha picked up. - “I think we’re now entitled to financial compensation for an SSS+++ level mission.”

Such blatant extortion woke up Koharu, but seeing the displeased look directed at her by Sasuke, she preferred to feign unconsciousness again.

“Ehh…” - Kakashi tried to portray himself as the boss of the village.

“The village is currently in a difficult financial situation, so the payment will have to be postponed” - Homura, who had returned to this world, sparkled his glasses.

People began to stir, coming to their senses, but the first thing they discovered was that my chakra chains still didn’t allow them to move even a millimeter.

“The interest rate is ten percent per day” - Sasuke put forward his counter-conditions, smiling cheekily.

Sarutobi was struck by a heavy cough, dropping his pipe from his mouth.

“This is outright extortion!” - Koharu was outraged, as always having trouble perceiving reality. More precisely, she perceived it, but she refused to accept the situation.

“So what?” - Sasuke waved off, suddenly feeling like the ‘master of life.’ - “It has always been this way. The weak pay tribute to the strong to earn the right to live until the next payment.”

“Khha!” - Hokage couldn’t hold back. - “Sasuke, let’s discuss the payment issue another time. Right now, we need to find out… what the hell is going on here!!!”

A surge of massive chakra passed from the gathered ‘God of Shinobi,’ only to… dissipate powerlessly in the air, not moving my chains even a millimeter.

“I think we just found out that Team Eight consists of the most genius shinobi in the village. Also, we neutralized an S-class threat, for which we should receive full monetary compensation. And we urgently need to be sent on some long mission so that the village leadership can gather strength and find money to pay the tribute, oh, I mean, the reward for eliminating the traitor” - I laid out my brief report.

Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.

“Oh-h-h... alright” - Sarutobi sighed heavily, realizing that in the current situation, he couldn’t use any technique. - “And who will be your captain?”

“Kakashi-sensei, of course. He’s already used to dying, so he has nothing to lose. And if anything goes wrong, I’ll revive him again.” - After my words, Kakashi broke out in a cold sweat.

“Okay, we’ll find you some mission.”

“I think escorting some drunk bum to the Land of Waves would be perfect” - I suggested, after which my chakra chains released all those present and dissipated into the air. - “Glad we could come to an agreement. After all, the village doesn’t have the money to build a new Hokage Tower.”

The people jerked and looked at me with caution after this phrase. The ANBU preferred to vanish into thin air, taking Danzo’s corpse with them. Hyuga and Inoichi, who hadn’t said a word during the meeting, began edging towards the exit, and Sarutobi started rummaging through the desk drawers in search of a drink.

The critical situation seemed to have dissipated, and Kakashi decided it was the perfect time to reclaim his property.

“Sakura, please return my book” - he said, skillfully pulling his precious book from her hands.

“GIVE IT BACK!!! WAAAAAAGHHH!” - she suddenly screamed, then unleashed an AOE version of her ability on the surroundings.

Everyone already had an idea of what this attack might result in, so they evacuated at record speed, some through windows, others through doors, and some even through walls. I covered myself and Sasuke with chakra chains. After that, an explosion was heard, and the entire Hokage Tower blew up, collapsing to the foundation.

“Kakashi!!! I’ll find you!” the deranged girl, who thought she was a cosmic ork, screamed.

Afterward, Sakura looked around, standing on the ruins of the tower, and walked away, spreading her arms and legs wide, as if she were a bodybuilder bristling with muscles instead of a delicate girl.

“Sakura, wait!” - Sasuke ran after her. - “What did you read in that book?” he asked anxiously.

The girl gave him an appraising look and pondered.

“Do you know what pistils and stamens are?” - she asked an unexpected question.

“Uh… a pistil is a part of a flower, for example, an orchid.”

“Then we’ll need to pick some flowers. And also, we’ll need a jade rod, a wet kitty, and majestic hills.”

“The Hokage Mountain is very majestic” - the young Uchiha enthused. - “Finding a cat is no problem, but we’ll need to bathe it. And I can look for the jade rod in the clan temple.”

“Alright. Then we’ll meet in half an hour at the top of the Hokage Mountain. I’ll stop by the Yamanaka to ask for orchid and asphodel flowers.”

I quietly laughed, watching this scene, and went to my ‘den,’ leaving a couple of clones to watch over my teammates. It was interesting to see where all this pornography would lead.

Until evening, I trained my control and sensory abilities to be able to detect the presence of an enemy nearby. A couple of ANBU squads helped me with this as best they could, hiding in the surroundings and covertly observing me.

Sasuke and Sakura’s ‘sex’ began with the Uchiha getting scratched by a soaking wet cat he decided to drown in a stream. After that, Sakura broke the jade rod by squeezing it in her hand with inhuman strength and forced her ‘lover’ to crawl over the ‘majestic hills’ collecting ticks and spider webs on himself. And in the end, the unyielding ork made Sasuke ‘rub’ aconite flowers, causing him to lose consciousness within a couple of minutes and nearly die. Fortunately, my clone managed to revive him before his soul left his body. After such ‘sex,’ Uchiha was so exhausted that he left without even saying goodbye and spent the entire evening indulging in gloomy reflections on the injustice of the universe.

Until midnight, nothing interesting happened, but when night fully took over, ANBU squads specializing in covert operations paid a visit to the green genins’ homes. Sleep gas was released into the room where the green genins were sleeping, after which the unconscious bodies of my teammates were tied up with ropes, surrounded by chakra-suppressing seals, and carried to the Root’s dungeons for thorough interrogation by Yamanaka clan specialists.

But with me, these specialists met a snag. Firstly, I wasn’t asleep and was waiting for the attack fully prepared. Secondly, my sensory abilities and clones warned me of the approaching capture group. And thirdly, the sleeping gas didn’t affect me because my metabolism at the moment was too far from human. Just in case, I had a fuinjutsu seal prepared, containing several dozen cubic meters of air. So, when the enthusiastic ANBU burst into my home, my chakra chains immediately entangled them, turning the predators into prey.

“What does all this mean?” - I asked the leader of the capture group, who turned out to be Morino Ibiki. They send the best for me. It makes me proud.

“You… release…” - he groaned, trying to free himself using various techniques, none of which even activated.

“Why would I? You broke into my home with clearly malicious intentions. By martial law, you should all be eliminated on the spot. But since the war hasn’t started yet, I’ll give you a chance to redeem yourself by telling me who sent you here and what you want from me.”

“We won’t tell you anyth-hrrr…” - one of the ANBU managed to say before my chains turned him into mincemeat.

“For those who didn’t understand, that was the wrong answer” - I commented on the demise of this idiot.