By ten in the morning, satisfied with life, I strolled into the graduates' classroom. Thanks to shadow clones and Henge, I managed to earn a small sum of money, which I immediately spent on food at Ichiraku Ramen. So, I arrived at the academy full and ready for the long wait for our mentor.

Entering the classroom, I saw my gaming partner. It was hard not to recognize him since he was the only Uchiha left in Konoha.

"Hey, partner" - I said, slapping the pensive Sasuke on the shoulder. - "How are you settling in?"

He looked at me, and surprise appeared on his kawaii face.

"So, are you Cheater?" - he whispered, moving aside on the bench to give me room to sit. - "Or should I call you Atman?"

"Call me Naruto, you won't be wrong" - I waved it off. - "How's your memory of this body and your own?"

"It's all strange" - sighed my partner. - "I don't remember anything about myself. But the knowledge from my past life is all with me. Even those I shouldn't remember, like the molar mass of glycerin and the gravitational constant to the eighth decimal place. Sasuke's life, though, comes to me in vague images." - Sasuke frowned and withdrew into himself.

"So, how does it feel to be an isekai protagonist? Does your butt hurt?" - I joked.

"How did you...?!" - The young Uchiha stared at me in shock, instinctively trying to cover his behind with his hands, even though he was sitting on it.

"Wow! Some personal details are coming up here" - I was shocked too. - "Who was it?"

"...Shimura Danzo" - Sasuke answered after a short hesitation.

"No way!"

"He came to Sasuke once a week for the past three years and conducted what he called 'deep anal probing for signs of enemy interference.'"

"Now it makes sense why Sasuke ignored girls and saw Naruto's attempts at friendship as harassment" - I philosophically noted. - "In any case, we need to take him down, no discussion."

"Who to take down?" - The hero-lover didn't understand me.

"Danzo, of course. It's the only way to free you from that long-standing moral trauma."

But we couldn't develop this topic further because Haruno Sakura entered the class. To be honest, everyone present stared at her at that moment. Sakura walked with her legs and arms wide apart. If her shoulders were broader, she wouldn't have fit through the door.

People immediately started laughing, pointing fingers at the girl. Sakura glanced around the classroom and headed straight for us.

"Hi" - I greeted when the girl stood next to us.

Instead of being polite, she literally shoved me aside and sat in my place. This caused not only me but also Sasuke, who was sitting next to me, to shift. Given that the desks were designed for two, such behavior from the 'best student in the class' was extremely unusual.

"Why... do I... have a... female... body?" - she hissed almost syllable by syllable.

"Bwa-ha-ha!" - I couldn't hold back. - "The Haruno genome exists in only one person in Konoha. Why did you even choose it?"

To prevent curious classmates from eavesdropping, I had already put up a simple barrier that distorted sounds.

"This genome had the highest level of chakra control" - Sakura answered. - "This body is so weak. And all these silly thoughts in my head. But the most annoying thing is the voice of the previous owner of this body."

Poor guy, I thought. If he can't adapt to the situation, he'll go completely mad and end up killing everyone around him. Having lived in the Warhammer world, I had a chance to talk to orcs, so I roughly knew how their consciousness worked. If he can't resolve his inner conflicts, he'll snap and start a bloody rampage.

Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

"Relax" - I hugged the girl. - "You need to become Sakura and completely absorb her consciousness and memory. Devour her and become the full master of this body" - I instructed, then started using psionics to remove the barriers between Sakura's and Groot's personalities.

Surprisingly, even such a simple influence managed to 'break' the barrier, and Groot immediately started a bloody frenzy. However, only in his mind. I assumed that the orc's consciousness could suppress the consciousness of the young girl, but the exact opposite happened. 'Evil Sakura' tore the dumb orc apart like a dog toy and absorbed him. Although there was only one soul in this body now, she began to consider herself Sakura, with the knowledge of a cosmic orc in her head. Well... that'll do. I have a feeling I'll have to carry these two to the finish line on my back anyway.

The girl convulsed a few times, then opened her eyes and looked at me.

“Naruto-kun” - Sakura whispered, looking at me with loving eyes.

I looked back at her, noting her green eyes and cute face, but then the disgusting green face of an orc, which I remembered from our ‘first meeting,’ flashed before my ‘inner vision.’ No way, I don’t need that kind of happiness. Concentrating, I used the substitution jutsu, switching places with Sasuke. To use this technique without preparation on another person, you needed a huge amount of chakra. And I had just that much.

“What?” - My partner was surprised by the sudden move. - “Sakura-chan?”

It seemed the power of ‘female charm’ immediately washed over the young Uchiha’s brain, as admiration was evident in his voice.

“Get lost!” - The object of his affection punched him in the ribs. - “Naruto-kun, you’re so cool.” - Sakura leaned forward to see my face.

“Pfft!” - I convincingly mimicked the canonical Sasuke, turning away in the opposite direction.

“What the heck is going on here?” - Uchiha politely inquired.

“Our partner realized they are Sakura” - I explained my version of events.

“I am Sakura” - the girl confirmed pompously. - “Sasuke-baka, don’t you dare touch me. And leave me alone; you’re interfering with my admiration of Naruto-kun. Right, Naruto-kuuuuun?”

The tone of her voice sent chills down my spine. This is a mess.

“But you love me, Sakura-chaaaaan” - Sasuke whined, unknowingly copying the canonical Naruto’s behavior model.

“Love is over, tomatoes have withered” - Sakura rejected his advances. - “I just realized that Naruto-kun is stronger than you. I will mate only with him and give birth to an army of thousands of orcs, which I will lead to victory in the name of Khorne!”

It seems Sakura had a breakdown. Her mind mixed the values of an orc and a young fool, creating some kind of crazy cocktail. Now, I could only wait and hope that with time, the mud in her head would settle, and she would develop at least some semblance of sanity. But who am I kidding? None of the personality donors were known for their sanity.

It’s unknown how our conversation would have ended, but at that moment, Yamanaka Ino approached our table.

“Hey, Forehead Girl, leave my Sasuke alone!” - she demanded.

“What do you want, Piggy? Is your skull pressing on your brain?” - Sakura snapped back, stunning her ‘rival.’ - “I can quickly solve this problem by knocking out the rest of your brains. Got it?! Get lost while you’re still alive! Naruto and Sasuke are mine! Grrr!”

Ino, stunned by such a rebuke, fell into a daze and moved as directed, sitting at a desk at the far end of the class. A minute later, she snapped out of it, jumped up, and was about to return and ‘punish’ Sakura, but at that moment, Iruka-sensei entered the class, silencing everyone and starting the official team allocation ceremony.

Just like in the canon, Sakura and I were teamed up with Sasuke. And just as it was in the canon, our sensei Kakashi didn't even bother to show up. As a result, all the new shinobis scattered around, while we three remained sitting in class. Luckily, Sakura switched into her daily routine emulation mode, starting to flirt with Sasuke. He, on the other hand, was more than happy, trying to seduce the young girl, although he himself wasn't even aware of his own emotions yet.

I didn't waste any time and left a clone behind me instead, heading out for some training in chakra control. Since my Life-affinity chakras were inaccessible to standard attacking techniques, I was planning on using my 'Uzumaki bloodline legacy'. Specifically, I wanted to master the technique of binding with chakra that Kushina Uzumaki used.

Although our local chakra worked under completely different laws than my own chakra, but at least I knew how to use demonic energy which wasn't too far off from angelic energy. As for the Order-affinity chakras, although I didn't exactly like them, their main principles were familiar to me. In general, after a couple of hours, it started working out and creating chains with my own chakra began to get easier, so I moved on to controlling those movements. Not sure if that was actually the same technique used by Uzumaki clan members or not, but mine wasn't any worse.

Around four in the afternoon, Kakashi finally decided to show up at class where he found two teenagers trying to engage in some sort of intimate activity without knowing what it even meant. In general, half-naked Sasuke and Sakura were lying on a bench writhing like they had an epileptic fit while my clone was watching them munching on ghostly popcorn and offering 'advice'. Honestly speaking, when I realized that the "newbie" didn't remember how to do it properly, I seriously burst out laughing. Apparently, their Players installed some sort of special block in their mind which blocked all memories related to sex although he should have had enough information to reconstruct a proper sequence.

“Ah, sensei Kakashi! You're late as usual...” - Greeted our instructor while replacing myself with the clone.

“What are you two doing here?” - Asked an utterly shocked jonin.