Well, This is Fun

Frank launched himself after Jay who vanished momentarily to appear behind him as he continued to move away.

"Nope, no, no, no, no, no! I'm not built for this!" Jay said as he continued to dodge and vanish and reappear as Frank seemed fixated on him.

He smashed vehicles, barricades, the pavement, and anything else in his path as he continued on his rampage. As he flew at Jay one last time, Jay tripped, unable to get away, and he put his hands up defensively to save his face.

Suddenly, Frank fell flat on the ground in front of Jay and skidded to a stop against him. Jay could hear him snoring lightly as the red light around him began to fade. Lacey was holding out her staff and panting as she stared at them with a look of panic on her face.

Jay and Lacey locked eyes, each experiencing a fear so great that their bodies began shuddering. Jay nodded once to her in thanks, unable to form any words.

When he had finally recovered enough to speak, Jay stood up and walked over to the others.

"What the hell was that?" Mark asked, still in complete shock at what had happened.

"Looks like he lost control in his rage. That's something we'll have to watch out for. What exactly did you do there, Lacey?" Jay asked.

"I cast sleep on him. I figured it was the fastest way to get him to stop. You have to have a strong mental resistance to overcome it, and I figured he wouldn't have that in his blind rage," Lacey replied.

"Great thinking. You probably saved us from getting smashed into a bloody mess on the ground," Jay smiled at her.

"You weren't so bad yourself. You moved so fast, I could barely see you," Lacey said.

"Thanks. That took just about every ounce of focus I had just to avoid his attacks. I'm pretty beat now. Let's take a bit to rest. I need to get the ole Goblin Slayer back in working order too."

Jay moved over to the SUV and stared at it for a moment, looking at a screen the others couldn't see. He made a few selections, closed the menu, and sat down on the ground. As he did, a grinding noise came from the vehicle behind him, then the sound of metal rubbing against each other as the panels on the sides of the vehicle began to slowly pull themselves back into shape.

The team watched in awe as the vehicle began to repair itself right before their eyes. One dent at a time, the metal became whole again as it continued its work.

"What's happening there?" James asked.

"The vehicle is diagnosing all the problems and fixing them one at a time. It has some kind of self-scanning magic that runs to see what is wrong and then attacks the problems one at a time. Good thing we had so many XP points saved up, the damage was pretty extensive. It'll use most of them to repair itself," Jay explained as he closed his eyes in what appeared to be some kind of meditation.

The others moved to join Jay, except Frank, who continued snoring in the spot he had fallen. When they did, Jay reached into his inventory and pulled out a Gatorade for each of them.

"Here, drink these. They should help you feel better."

"Are they special?" Lacey asked.

"Nope. Just Gatorade. Found them in some gas stations and stocked up on them. Won't be making these for a while, I would presume," Jay replied. "A little taste of life before."

They all accepted them gratefully and began drinking them. They also pulled out some snacks to eat while they waited for the vehicle to repair itself. No one spoke for a long time, simply content to sit in the area's silence. That's when they heard it.

A horn blew from in the distance. Each of the members of the team turned all at once and stared at the direction the goblins had come from.

"I thought Frank had killed them all," Lacey said.

"Must have just been the first wave. Time to get ready for round two. Maybe we shouldn't wake Frank for this one," Jay said as he stood and peered into the distance.

"But Frank could..." Mark began before he was interrupted.

"Frank could turn on us again and smash us into pavement pudding like he did the goblins. We can handle this. Just get some spells ready, and we will do the rest. Lacey, be ready to back us up, too. James, time to put that target practice to good use," Jay called out orders.

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"But we don't have a tank, and all my plans utilize a tank!" James said frantically.

"Sometimes you gotta adjust. Think of this as a learning experience. Use your head and find a solution, leader," Jay winked at him before stepping forward.

Jay equipped a weapon that James hadn't seen before. It looked like a giant log that had been formed into a bat-like shape. The handle was formed to fit his hand, while the end of the weapon was studded with small metal pyramids that looked sharp.

"What the hell is that?" James asked.

"It's called a Kanabo. As you may have noticed, I'm a fan of Japanese weapons. This was something used for a bit broader damage than one-on-one combat. Just try to keep me covered," Jay said over his shoulder.

As the first of the goblins appeared in their vision, they seemed to be walking at a leisurely pace. When they saw the team ready and waiting, the front lines began to sprint toward them, screeching and squawking as they came at them. Jay lowered into a fighting position and pulled the Kanabo behind him in a lowered position, ready to swing at the first line of enemies.

When they were in range, Jay yelled out his defiance and swung the weapon into the goblins. Four of them at once were struck by the wide swing and sent flying into the vehicle that Frank had struck to the right. James began firing at the goblins, trying to get in on Jay's blind side, and killed three in short order.

The Kanabo swung back in the other direction, catching three more goblins, and smashing them into the vehicle on the opposite side. As one goblin tried to leap at Jay, he smoothly returned the club to his inventory and retrieved his Kusarigama, flung the chain at the goblin, and blocked an incoming blade with the Kama at the other end.

The chain tangled around the goblin in the air and his weapon, which Jay took advantage of by pulling the chain tight. This caused the goblin to squeak with surprise as its arms were brought to its body, cutting itself with its rusty sword. He kicked off the ground into an aerial cartwheel in front of the other goblin, spinning his blade out of his hand and then embedding the blade of the kusarigama into the back of the goblin's neck.

As the next set of goblins moved forward to try to take advantage of the distraction, Lacey put up a barrier between Jay and the goblins. They smashed into it, several breaking their noses on the sudden solid wall in front of them. James pulled out an assault rifle and began to spray into the growing crowd of goblins as he tried to keep them off of Jay.

Dropping his Kusarigama, still embedded in two different goblins, Jay equipped a pair of bladed tonfa and began what appeared to be phasing in and out of sight as he darted past goblins, dodged attacks, and struck out with his blades. Each time he appeared, blood erupted from the body of another goblin, cuts, stabs, and slashes tearing their ranks apart as he danced around his foes with the grace of a true ninja.

Throwing needles appeared in the throat of one goblin, while kunai stuck out of the face of another as he continued his deadly movements. Appearing in the middle of a group of five goblins, Jay performed a three-hundred-and-sixty-degree low turn, cutting the legs out from under the group of goblins before disappearing again, only to appear behind another goblin who had been trying to track his movements. The reverse blade of one of his tonfa ripped out of his chest as Jay stabbed him from behind before removing the blade and vanishing again.

Mark had finally woven his spell and let it loose. The bodies of thirty goblins in front of them, some alive, some injured, and a few untouched, suddenly caught flame. The goblins screamed in pain as they rolled around in a vain attempt to extinguish the magical flames. Jay used this moment of confusion to change weapons yet again, equipping a naginata, which he swung out in wide strikes, slashing at multiple goblins at once as they stopped to stare at the fires.

"Quit fucking moving around so much, Jay! It's hard to shoot when I'm worried I'll hit you!" James called out over the noise of the battle and dying goblins.

James was swapping from opposite sides of the fight to shoot where Jay was not when he suddenly had an idea.

"Jay, back now!" James said, pulling a grenade launcher from his inventory.

Glancing at where James was for an instant, Jay's eyes widened as he moved to get out of the way. Appearing beside Lacey, Jay held a thumbs up to James.

"Eat shit and die, motherfuckers!" James yelled as he fired off six consecutive grenades into the midst of the goblins, who were now beginning to stumble over the bodies of their allies.

BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM! The grenades went off one after another as they landed amongst the growing chaos before them. Lacey had to erect a barrier in front of them to block the debris from the blasts. More goblin screams came from the devastation as the smoke began to block the view of what was happening.

One goblin ran into the barrier, the look on its face showing it had been driven mad as it began scratching and clawing at the barrier, breaking its nails, which began to bleed on the barrier.

"Well, now, that's just poor form. No reason to be animals about this," Jay said as he pulled throwing needles out from his inventory between each finger and flung them through the barrier at the goblin.

They caught it in the face and throat, and the creature clutched at them before falling to the ground in death. Jay tsked at the poor creature before pulling out a pair of Japanese fans. As he opened them with a flick of his wrists, the others noticed there were blades at the tips of the fans and runes etched into the fabric.

Taking a single step forward with his right foot, Jay waved first one fan and then the other in great sweeping arcs.

"WIND BLAST!" Jay called out as he made these motions.

A strong wind began to blow from the fans, causing the smoke in the area to clear from the gusts. What was left was a death ground with goblin bodies lying on the ground with a few exceptions. James quickly took aim and ended the lives of the remaining foes.

At the rear of the battleground stood one remaining goblin. Standing about a head taller than the others, the creature stared around in shock at the devastation. He looked at the team standing calmly in front of him, and his blood began to boil. He raised his weapon and got out the beginnings of an angry yell when a bullet took him right between the eyes.

He fell unceremoniously to the ground, blood leaking from the wound. James blew on the tip of his rifle, which he had switched when he saw the goblin in the distance.

"Next,"