Ragtag Survival

"Well, this is just great. We nearly killed ourselves before, and now we have to fight off goblins?" James said as he stared off into the distance.

"If we can get Mark up, we shouldn't have too much trouble. Fireball would be especially helpful here," Jay said as he slowed their progress.

Sure enough, the object in the distance was getting closer. It appeared there was another behind it as well.

"Just fucking great. There's more of them."

"Shut up, James. If we can form a plan, we can take 'em. They're just goblins," Jay said.

"I thought you didn't swear around children?" Susie asked.

"You barely count. You're some weird adult trapped in a kid's body. Now quiet so we can think," James said putting a hand to his chin.

"I can smash?" Frank asked.

"I'm sure there will be plenty of smashing, but we need to handle this smart. There are likely to be more than a hundred of the little green turds," Jay replied.

James got out of the car and walked around to the back, opening the trunk.

"Come on, Mark. Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey," James said as he slapped Mark across the face several times.

"You really think that's gonna..." Susie began, and Mark suddenly jolted awake and punched James in the mouth as he yelled in fear.

"Where am I? What's going on?" Mark asked as he looked around.

"Son of a bitch! You don't hit like a Wizard," James said, rubbing his jaw.

"I'm so sorry! I startle easily from sleep," Mark apologized.

"I can see that. Now that you're awake, it's going to be fireball time soon. Take a look over there," James pointed into the distance at the looming towers getting ever closer.

"I could probably hit them from here. Usually as long as I can see it I can get a fireball that far," Mark offered.

"Seriously? That's pretty far," Lacey commented.

"Yeah, I can do it. Just give me a minute."

"Would a higher vantage point help you?" Jay asked.

"Sure, but how would I do that?" Mark asked.

"Stand on the roof of the vehicle," Jay replied.

"Great idea!" Mark exclaimed.

Jay opened the sunroof so that Mark could get easier access to the roof.

"Maybe we should get out of the vehicle," Lacey offered.

"That...is a really good idea," Jay replied, quickly leaving the GS2.

After all the others were clear, Mark looked at them with a confused expression, shrugged, and began to concentrate. Power built in Mark's hands. The energy glowed red hot as the fireball began to form. The others were in awe as the fire grew from a spark into a raging beachball inferno.

When the fireball finally reached a crescendo of power, Mark took a step forward with his right foot and pushed at the spell to fling it at the enemy, a determined look on his face as he continued to concentrate. Unfortunately, instead of flying gracefully across the sky toward the destruction of their enemy, the fireball appeared to roll forward and drop into the sunroof of the GS2.

"Shit!" Mark said as the fireball hit the interior and exploded.

Mark was tossed from the roof as the insides caught fire and began to burn.

"No, no, no, no, no, NO!" James began as he ran to the vehicle.

"Tom is gonna be pissed," Jay said, squinting at the horrific sight.

Frank's mouth dropped open, and Lacey covered her ears as James began a string of profanities that would make any sailor blush. Jay simply chuckled. Then his eyes went wide.

"Lacey, go to Mark, now!" Jay commanded as he continued to watch James.

Lacey peeled off to check on Mark as James continued to wave his arms at the fire before beginning to spit loogies at the car in a vain attempt to put it out.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck," James continued to dance around before seeming to have what he thought was a brilliant idea.

Unzipping his fly, James whipped out his dick and began to grunt before pissing on the side of the vehicle.

"Higher James," Jay called out to him.

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James tried to go higher and aim for the windows, but due to the heat of the flames, he was unable to get close. As he raised the stream to try to aim into the windows that had blown out with the explosion, he overcorrected and began peeing on himself.

Jay finally lost it and fell over on the ground in a fit of laughter. Quickly correcting his aim, but not before getting a splash in his own golden shower, James began to continue to try to quench the burning of the flames. He began to swear again before the stream slowed and shut off altogether.

Finally able to control his laughter, Jay stood and pulled a fire extinguisher from his inventory. Walking toward the vehicle, he then pulled a small red ball from his inventory as well. Tossing the red ball into the car, he pulled the pin from the extinguisher, wiped some tears from laughing so hard from his eyes, and began to spray the fire in wide sweeping motions. Moments later, the red ball exploded inside the vehicle, dousing most of the flames in a white powder that put out most of the flames with a single explosion.

James had been too close due to his peepee dance and was covered in white powder. Most of it came off when he shook himself, but his pants had turned into Bisquick. With the flames mostly under control, Jay continued to spray the outbreak areas with the extinguisher until all the flames were out.

"You had that and were just happy to let me throw my golden shower out at the vehicle, all the while imagining Tom dicing me into tiny pieces with his greatswords as he said, 'You earned this, James. That car was my pride and joy.'" James yelled at Jay.

"It was funnier this way," Jay replied. "Besides, Tom already told me if anything happened to the GS2, that I should use the vehicle XP to repair it. So he was prepared for this."

Lacey stood up from the other side of the vehicle, face looking like Scarface after a cocaine orgy. White powder covered her face as she stared wide-eyed at Jay.

"This is not what I signed up for," Lacey said softly as she began to look around. "What was that thing you threw in there?"

"A fire extinguisher bomb. Found some at an army surplus store we went through during one of my patrols. Handy little things to have on hand when fighting mages who love fire spells," Jay said proudly. "Is Mark alright?"

"He'll be fine...physically, at least. It's beginning to feel like none of us will be okay mentally after this," Lacey replied. "Or spiritually."

"Physically is all we need right now. Time to get him back up and have him try again. We need those towers on fire pronto," Jay ordered.

Walking around the vehicle, Jay found Mark staring up at the sky. He lifted him by the armpits and set him back up on his feet, where he stood uneasily for a moment.

"Come on, there we go. Good as new. Now, you need to try again, and this time, hit the towers. You got this," Jay encouraged him, dusting the white powder from his clothes. "You all wanted to be part of one of the advanced teams and do some more fighting. This is what that means."

"Yeah...okay..." Mark squeaked out, sounding as though he might faint.

"Good, lad," Jay praised him, slapping him on the back.

Mark almost fell over as he staggered forward a couple of steps. Looking out into the distance again, he raised only one hand this time and held it unsteadily out. Another mote of fire appeared and then quickly grew to the size of a Honda Civic, this time before rocketing away from them straight toward the enemy tower. The others in the party gaped at the power that was unleashed and the speed it flew.

"Mark..." James whispered breathlessly as he stood transfixed by the spell.

Weaving in and out of the vehicles on the road, the fireball raced ever forward until it struck the first tower. The explosion that followed sent a concussive wave back from the point of impact so strong that the windows of many of the vehicles on the road shattered on its path outward. Screams and cries of goblins could be heard even from their position as a conflagration engulfed not only the first tower but also the second in a pyre that rose hundreds of feet into the sky.

"There he is. Bohdan wouldn't have recommended you if there wasn't something special. Looks like the key for you is to NOT focus," Jay said, slapping Mark on the back again.

Mark fell forward to a knee this time, staring in awe as well at the devastation.

"Get ready, Frank, take the lead on this one. They're coming, and they're pissed," Jay said to the others.

"Finally!" Frank said as he equipped his giant Maul and stepped to the front of the group.

Screeching and squawking could be heard from a distance as goblins continued to charge toward them. Frank smashed one car to the side of the road and then another to the opposite side, creating a funnel for the goblins to be forced into as they charged. He stood in the center with a look of manic pleasure on his face as the first goblin came into sight.

"HRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" Frank screamed out as he activated his rage and began to glow with a reddish glow.

An arrow shot from the goblin advance and whistled through the air before striking Frank in the shoulder. It shattered when it hit his skin.

"What the..." Jay whispered to himself as he saw the arrow blasted into tiny pieces.

When the first goblin came in close enough, Frank raised his maul over his head and smashed it down on top of the poor creature, turning it into a blackish mist as its blood sprayed in all directions. Soon, he was a whirling force of nature as he smashed goblins into nothing or sent them rocketing off into the distance with his strikes.

Several of the goblins were able to get in close and tried stabbing him with spears or blades, but they each just slid off his skin as though he was wearing armor. He would smash them with his weapon or parts of his body as he fought them off. One unlucky goblin jumped to avoid a low swing of his maul and found himself face-to-face with the giant brute of a man when Frank headbutted him into a vehicle. The goblin was embedded into the metal of the door of the car, where its blood began to pool on the ground from every orifice on its face at once.

Frank began to swing his maul faster and faster as he let out another battle cry in his already enraged state. He soon went from receiving individual attacks that glanced off his skin to being completely untouchable by the enemy as he destroyed everything in his path.

"Holy shit," Was all James could say as he watched the awesome display of violence put on in front of them.

Soon, the goblins began to hold back out of fear and stared in wide-eyed horror at the monster in front of them. When no new opponents were willing to step forward, Frank roared again and jumped forward like a bullet at the remaining foes, looking much like when the Hulk would jump from building to building in the Avengers movies.

The goblins screamed as they tried to get away. Frank grabbed the ones he wouldn't strike with his maul and smashed them into the ground or tossed them into barricades. He was now on a rampage that would not be stopped.

"Ummm...Frank?" Jay called out to the Barbarian.

Frank either didn't hear him or completely ignored the call and smashed the last of the goblins into bloody pulps. When no new enemies could be found, he began searching around. His eyes landed on the team back at the GS2.

"Crap," Jay said. "I don't think he's stopping."

He growled as he leaped toward the team.

"SCATTER!" James called out.

The team managed to move out of the way just in time as Frank brought his maul down where they had been a moment before.

"He's gone full savage!"