"I need to use a bathroom," Lily announced.
They stood on the corner of the intersection in front of Bridgestone Arena. The wide street stretching east and west was called Broadway. It was lined with museums, bars, restaurants and shops of all sizes. The day was already a scorcher.
"K," said Evan. "All I want to do is buy a CD. I don't want to blow too much money when we've still got all of tomorrow plus Saturday and the drive home Sunday."
"Word," said Lily.
Evan wondered how much cash she had on hand.
They walked over to the nearest bar and Lily disappeared inside without saying anything. He stood out by the doorway, forced to think. He tried looking at the pictures on his phone but they didn't do any good. His mind was on Lily and Lily alone.
On top of the humiliation from the previous night's rejection, Evan was unable to shake a nagging feeling of negativity, a feeling that told him that Lily was never going to feel for him the way he had come to feel for her in the past few days. The previous night had confirmed it.
He didn't know why he had fallen for her so suddenly. He'd never felt more than an inkling of attraction toward her. He'd never even crushed on her. He'd always thought she was cute, but he hadn't ever felt this red flush of emotion, this primal urge to possess and protect her. He'd never felt it before, in his life, ever, for anyone. It had all started when she'd crawled in with him on Matt's basement couch.
The sensation was a hint of the infinite. He didn't feel infinite himself, but he felt that she was, and yet he could only watch her like a child watching a jet leave a contrail in the evening sky.
He thought of her emerging from the bathroom that morning, smelling of that fresh fruit scent and with that flower in her hair. She'd activated some brand new instinct in him. He'd become infatuated with the light behind her eyes.
I love her, Evan realized. I'm fucking in love with her.
He remembered her smiling coquettishly at the redneck hard-asses winking at her on the freeway, the deep hurt it had caused him. Her smile made him feel like the world was worth saving. He completely forgot everything else. Why was he falling for her so profoundly when she was so obviously not falling for him? He felt weak, he felt undesirable, he felt stupid and vile and Neanderthal-like.
Lily came out of the bar sighing in relief with her little handbag swinging from her elbow.
"I'm a new woman," she declared. The sun glinted off her sunglasses. The flower in her hair looked like it was made of white frosting. Evan wanted to rub his face in her black hair and inhale her scent.
"All right," he said. "Shall we?"
They wandered aimlessly afterwards, ambling by numerous establishments, none of which spiked their interest enough to venture inside.
Outside one bar, a guy in an apron tried to get them to come in and sing karaoke.
This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.
"I see your wristband, man, I know you can sing," he called to Evan.
"I can't, man, not today," said Evan, passing, head down, his hands in his pockets. He was such a timid fuck, but he was too close to the audition now to screw up his vow of silence.
"How about your little lady, can she carry a tune?"
"I'm not his lady," said Lily, turning and smiling that killer smile that made Evan want to kneel down and repeatedly beat his head against the sidewalk.
"Ohhhh," said the apron guy, throwing up his hands. "My bad, my bad."
He turned to harass another passing couple.
They went to an old record store that smelled of dust and cedar. The old floorboards creaked under their feet as they perused the rows of vinyl albums and CDs nestled in old wooden bins splintered at their edges. There were black and white portraits of country stars on the walls, old guitars hung up with their strings rusted out.
Evan bought himself a Johnny Cash CD. It was called My Mother's Hymn Book, originally part of a boxed set called Unearthed.
"This one's the one that's got Do Lord on it," Evan told Lily as they walked out, his plastic bag swinging from one hand. "The song they played at Jason's memorial. The one that Maddie got the term 'gloryland' from."
"Yeah, I remember," said Lily. "Huh."
"Jason loved Johnny Cash. He had a poster of him in his room. The one where he's giving the finger."
As the day went on the street became as crowded as the line outside the arena. Live music, loud and luscious, boomed out from between the doors of several establishments.
Evan and Lily went into one and there was a short-haired blonde woman advertised as Michelle McDonald playing an acoustic guitar onstage, belting out Loretta Lynn. A coffee can overflowing with dollar bills was set next to the foot of her stool. There was no backing band, just Michelle and her fabulous, rich voice. As Evan listened, he understood why people said there were no amateur musicians in Nashville. This woman sounded as good as anyone on CMT. Evan didn't like country music much as a genre, but he could enjoy this.
"You wanna chill here for a bit?" Evan asked Lily. She had been texting intermittently but mostly she'd just walked along with one hand on her purse and the other swinging next to her. Evan had longed to grab it, entwine their fingers together and feel her soft palm against his, but obviously that hadn't happened.
"Sure," she said. Beads of sweat stood out on her forehead. The temperature outside had reached boiling.
Evan got a Pabst Blue Ribbon and Lily got an iced tea. They listened to Michelle for a bit. After the Loretta Lynn cover, she sang a few originals. Then she set her guitar on its stand, came offstage and peddled her CD to the people sitting at the bar.
Evan and Lily finished their beverages and Evan left a ten on the table as they moved on to the next establishment, which was even louder. It had a trio playing—a female singer, a guitar player, and a mandolin player. Their music was fast and furious. Evan thought of a term—thrash country. He and Lily didn't get anything to drink there, but they stood against the wall, listened to a couple songs and moved on again.
It was a decent outing, an okay walk in the city, but it didn't feel special-- at least not the way Evan had hoped it would when he'd asked Lily to come with him. Lily seemed bored, and Evan felt bored. He thought perhaps if he'd have come alone against his parent's wishes, it would've been better. He would've been able to focus on enjoying himself and taking in the sights, instead of being distracted at Lily's angel face and her lethal smile.
Lily yawned as they trod the sidewalk. They went into a few souvenir shops, admired the trinkets, looked at the shirts and sweaters and the multitude of different hats, the ceramic bears and beavers, the classic car models, the little novelty acoustic guitars. Neither of them bought anything although Lily nearly got herself a scarf she found. At the last minute before they left, she put it back.
"Well, I guess we should head back to the hotel," Evan said.
"Yeah, good idea."
It was now mid-afternoon and the sun was the hottest Evan had ever experienced. He wanted to wrap his hands around Lily's shoulders and cuddle with her once they got back to the hotel, but he knew this was only more wishful thinking. With this thought on his mind, he and his companion traipsed back to the car on their tired feet, the green Idol wristband scratching the inside of Evan's wrist.