When Evan got home he went and lay on his bed and stared at his flip phone. He opened up the contacts and stared at Lily's name. He paced about his room.
But now there was another problem-- Dare he go through with this?
Who else was he going to ask?
No one. No one else was worth it.
Besides, he knew in his heart he wanted to ask Lily. If he didn't ask her to come with, he'd be thinking about her the entire time anyway.
Quit being a pussy and just fucking do it, he heard Jason say in his head. You know that's what you want. Just ask. Worst she can say is no.
He opened his phone again, started writing a text to Lily, and then deleted it. Better to call her on this one.
No, he should text her to call him. Put the ball in her court.
That was it.
Evan lurked on Votefortheworst for a while to loosen his mind up. The site was where he got most of his information on Idol. He browsed the gleeful threads on Idol's current alumni tour, which was pulling in the most dismal attendance numbers in series history.
He'd discovered Votefortheworst a few years earlier, when Maddie had begun complaining about a contestant named Sanjaya Malakar, an Indian kid from Seattle who, while seeming like a very nice person, was not a very good singer. Somehow he'd lasted well into the finals, and Maddie was incensed about it, blaming some website where they intentionally chose the worst contestants and tried to get them as far as they could. Evan thought that was a genius idea.
For the past few months, as the idea of auditioning had surfaced in his mind, Evan had sought to learn more about the show-- its history, the winners, the losers. He Youtubed performances of the finals and the semi finals. He Youtubed auditions by the score, seeing how the contestants who did well performed and how the rejects screwed things up.
Evan's thoughts drifted back to Lily and asking her to come with him. He looked down at his phone, still waiting in his hand.
Fuck it, he thought.
He opened his phone again. He typed in a text to Lily, then chickened out and put the phone down.
He read more of Votefortheworst, glancing over at the phone lying open on his comforter.
After another thread or two, he picked up the phone one last time, his thumb hovering over the send button.
Can you talk? he'd written. I have an idea and I need to ask you about it tonight.
He exhaled slowly—what's the worst that could happen?—and pressed send deliberately, weightily. He hoped Lily wasn't working tonight. It was a Wednesday. Evan assumed it would be slow enough for her to respond to him. If she was even there at 8:30 in the evening.
His phone lay dark. He tried to pay attention to the videos he was watching, but his eyes darted back to it every few seconds. Minutes passed. Then more minutes.
She's ignoring me, he thought. He was such a loser. God, he was such a loser. Christ Almighty.
Then-- a miracle— his phone buzzed. The sound of a honeybee's wings. Lily's name appeared on the screen.
Heart pounding, Evan opened the phone, opened the text.
Sure, call whenever.
Evan gulped. He opened his contact list.
Should he wait? Should he respond immediately? Or would that seem obvious and desperate? What a dilemma.
He should wait, even if it was just for a little bit. He'd call her in ten minutes. He calculated that he'd need to watch about five Idol-related Youtube videos, and then he would call her.
Evan watched the videos like a kid eating his vegetables. When the last one finished, a video of Season 5's gray-haired crooner Taylor Hicks singing Elton John, he slammed his laptop shut. In one motion he opened his phone, opened Recent Calls, scrolled to Lily's name, hesitated for a dog's hair of a moment, and hit send one last time.
The phone rings seemed to take an eternity. One ring... two rings... three rings... oh god would she pick up did he want her to pick up?... four rings... then a click.
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"Hey."
"Hey, it's Evan," Evan said, his voice cracking on 'hey'. He silently cursed his vocal chords.
"Yeah, I know," said Lily. "What's your idea?"
"Do you know American Idol?"
"Uh, yeah, why?"
"I'm trying out for it this Saturday in Nashville and I'm leaving tomorrow and coming back Sunday. You want to come?"
He squeezed his eyes shut, bracing for impact, expecting her to tell him she would have to work.
There was an agonizing pause on the other end as her brain loaded the information.
Then, suddenly, Evan heard a curt voice ask Lily something on the other end of the line.
"Hang on a second," she said. He could hear the faint conversation. Evan clenched his teeth in frustration. The suspense was unbearable, as if the very universe was taunting him.
The other voice was gruffly firing questions at her.
"It was hot in here, I wanted to air it out a little," said Lily.
Muffled question.
"No, I wasn't."
A pause.
"I'm sorry."
Another pause.
"No, it's a friend of mine."
Another pause.
"He's trying out for Idol this weekend in Nashville."
Pause.
"American Idol. The TV show."
Pause.
"Nashville. Yeah."
Lily came back on, just as Evan became certain the anticipation would wither him like a wet leaf in the wind. He braced himself.
"Sorry," she said.
Evan's heart raced.
"Sorry as in you're not coming?"
"Uh, no. Sorry as in, sorry I just had to put you on hold for a second."
"Oh, you're fine," said Evan, his heart rate normalizing slightly. "Yeah, you know, I just, uh, just wanted to see if you'd be interested... you said we should hang out, and I thought this was a perfect opportunity."
There was one, final, agonizing pause.
"Uhhh....yeah," Lily said, brightening up. "Yeah, that'd be fun."
"You will?"
"Yeah, I just said I would. I'm not doing anything. And I don't feel like working this weekend."
"That's awesome," said Evan, elated but trying to hide it. "I already booked everything, the hotel, the audition, I got all my paperwork, and you can just come along. I'll come get you in the morning."
"All right," said Lily. "I didn't know you sang."
"Yeah, I've been practicing. I want to sing for Matt's band but I don't think I'm good enough yet."
"But you're good enough for Idol?"
"It's worth a try," said Evan. He didn't want to get into his sob story with her. Not yet.
"K, well, I gotta go," she said. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Everything all right?"
"Yeah, we're good," said Lily. "Just gotta go."
"K. I'll be there at your place at 7," said Evan. "It's like an eight and a half hour drive."
"All right, see you then."
"See you."
Evan hung up the phone, his heart singing.
She would sleep with him, no doubt about it. What girl would agree to spend three nights in a motel with a guy and not sleep with him? Especially if she'd already initialized intimate physical contact a mere 24 hours before?
His friends wouldn't be particularly impressed—both Rob and Matt were pretty adept at getting whatever women they desired when the need arose. Poor Brian was a fat trainwreck whose personality was so foul that the ladies would still avoid him even if he had a male model's body and the best plastic surgery available.
Evan imagined holding Lily again, this time between the cotton sheets on a cheap Motel 6 mattress. He imagined them frolicking naked together, he imagined her sliding her lips down over his cock, and he imagined pounding her doggy-style up against the wall, her wails of ecstasy. He imagined getting the golden ticket after a flawless audition on Saturday, coming out to meet her, her face lighting up at his success.
"Let's go take another nap," she'd say with a naughty glint in her eye. Then she'd probably blow him in the car on the way back to the motel, too.
For a second, his mind flashed to Maddie's description of gloryland, the ultimate comfort and bliss.
He pictured telling his parents he would be handling the medical bills from now on, and on top of that, he was now instructing them to take a month-long vacation on his dime. He pictured handing them the keys to a rented luxury sedan.
"Just go," he'd tell them. "Just go and don't come back until you feel like real Americans again."
"We love you, son," they'd both say with tears in their eyes.
He pictured Maddie throwing her arms around his neck when he informed her he'd gotten three yes's and was on his way to Hollywood. He pictured introducing her to Lee DeWyze and Crystal Bowersox and Adam Lambert and David Cook and Carrie Underwood and all her other favorite contestants, all of them now his close, personal friends and allies.
He pictured his own friends' dropped jaws when they saw him singing his way to an easier life right in front of their very eyes.
Evan felt confidence surge through him. The world was suddenly a bright and beautiful and promising place.
He treated himself to a fast and feverish jerk-off session, groaning Lily's name when he finished. It didn't require any porn to get going, just the memory of Lily's nude dancing in Matt's basement the night before.
After he cleaned himself up, Evan fell asleep early with a hot forehead and a deep, satisfied ache in his gut. He didn't wake up until his mother stuck her head in the room on her way to bed.
"Good night, Evan," she said.
"I'm taking Lily Trent," he told her, startled out of his velvety doze.
"What?"
"To Nashville," he said. "Tomorrow. I found someone to go with. Lily Trent."
"Who?"
"Lily Trent."
"Lily Trent that used to live down the street?"
"Yeah."
"Oh, I didn't know you two still knew each other."
"Yeah, I ran into her the other night with the guys. She said she'd come with."
"Well, great. She was always such a nice little girl."
"Yeah, she was."
"What's going on?" came Evan's father's voice from the hallway.
"Evan is going to Nashville with Lily Trent," said his mother. "So he's not alone."
"Lily Trent, the girl from down the street who moved away like five years ago? The one with the stepdad who turned out to not be a good guy?"
"Yeah, that's the one."
"Are you two an item now, Evan?"
"No. I'm just taking her to Nashville with me. She said she'd go."
"Oh, great. We're going to bed. What time you leaving tomorrow?"
"6, 6:30, somewhere in there."
"Great. Make sure you stick your head in and say goodbye, will you?"
"Sure."
"All righty then, good night, Evan. Love you."
"Love you, too."
Evan drifted off, the happiest he'd been in a long time.