BOOK 4: PREPARATION / CH. 2: GOD BE WITH YOU
MONDAY 20TH NOVEMBER, 6PM.
Bella had been waiting two minutes when Maria entered, sat down and looked across the hospital room at her and Pris. “You know, I do so love jet lag. It clears away any sense that you know when your next meal is coming from, or whether you should be awake or asleep. What time is it, by the way?”
“It's six O'clock, maam” Bella answered. Pris just grinned, recognising what was behind the question. “It's nice to see you, too, Maria, and I hope the flight was tolerable. Would you like me to call for some food?”
“Yes please, Pris. Can you order something for all of us, please? Now, Bella, you've met some scary people and been reminded of your scary dreams. How do you feel?”
“Relieved, I think.”
“Interesting response. Care to elaborate?”
“Well, assuming that their analysis is right, then there won't ever be burning snowballs chasing me down the street, for instance, even if some of the rest are prophetic.”
“Ah, I think I understand. You mean that you've knowingly been in denial that there was anything prophetic about them?”
“I.. guess so.” Bella agreed. The conversation lapsed, while Maria stared out of the window for a bit. It was a gloomy day, but there was a good view over the city.
“What do you think of the committee idea?” Pris asked.
“Well, I think you can drop the “Valentine's day” from the title." Maria replied "After all, you don't want to imply you're only focussed on one major threat."
“We're not?” Pris asked.
“No. You're not. You might think you are, but I'm sure we can come up with more than that. I also think you're too mono-cultural. Include some respected outsiders in the group, preferably people who their local governments will listen to, and who either know people with or have the gift.”
“Anyone in mind?” Pris asked.
“One or two. Float the idea to your committee and see who they can think of.”
“International committees can't meet very often.” Pris pointed out.
“Well, the institute can set up tele-presence, I'm sure.” Maria responded.
“Probably. If their budget can cope.”
“Oh, forget the budget!” Maria said, dismissively, “You're talking about threats that cost billions. A few telepresence units cost peanuts by comparison.”
“If anyone cares to pay up.”
“Yes. Well, if you organise yourselves on the right lines, and then a few hints should be all it takes to get the UN to adopt you. Then they can foot the bill.”
“A committee under UN protection, like the institute?” Pris asked, knowing how unlikely that would be.
“Meeting at the institute and its sister organisations.” Maria countered.
“I like that idea. Automatic anonymity.”
“Of course! What do you think, Bella, honestly?”
“I think it sounds good, but honestly, I'm wondering why I'm here.”
“Pris noted that you liked witness protection, but that you needed training in using your power.”
“Yes. You know about it?”
“Yes dear. I've known about the power for years, I don't have it, but a relative does.”
Pris noted the careful phrasing, and mentally congratulated Maria for not giving anything away at all.
“Oh. Yes. Pris and Eliza were suggesting some kind of meet and get trained event. But I don't know how that'll work.”
“I can think of two ways. I order you to shake everyone's hand and think at them, or we send out an internal memo to everyone.”
“How many people work for Security?” Bella asked, shocked at the first suggestion.
“Too many to shake all their hands. And from what I've read of Saturday's events you're in the right job at the moment.”
“So, you're back to the memo.” Bella summarised. There was a polite knock at the door. Knowing what Maria's appetite was like after a flight, Pris had ordered a large plate of assorted sandwiches. Maria smiled her thanks.
“Enough variety to make me keep eating, but not too overwhelming. Thanks Pris. Where were we. Yes, the memo.... Before I go collecting everyone with the power into one location, I need to filter them to make sure that no one is fibbing, just to find out more. I know a few people who might see that as a good challenge. That's fairly easy to prove, I guess. But from your perspective, what other risks are there?”
“Oh. Urm, there are people who won't want to come forward, for fear of being transferred or of ruining working relationships, if the secret comes out. And, I guess...”
“Yes?”
“I've been warned about mental attack.”
“Yes. Not everyone with the power uses it for good.”
“I hope there aren't any in the service, but...”
“It's something to be wary of, yes. Good thinking. So, how would you mitigate against both of those?”
“Against the second? I don't know, convince someone with the gift to check up on everyone? I don't know if that's possible. Against the first, make it somewhere people want to go, maybe?” Bella asked.
“All expenses paid trip to some beauty spot?” Pris asked, and when Bella nodded agreement, added “But not everyone would want to go.”
“Not if its overnight, no.” Maria agreed.
“So, make it clear that there's no requirement to be re-assigned, and make it worthwhile somehow for people to register?” Bella suggested.
“Might cause division if there's a special bonuses to be earned.” Maria pointed out.
“True. So, what do we do?” Pris asked.
“How about everyone has to go through an awareness seminar about the gift and power?” Bella asked.
“And different people get different versions?” Maria asked
“Yes. I mean, I'm sure that people without it have questions.”
“Indeed. In fact, it'd be good to not just keep this to field ops. I'll arrange things. Now, Bella, you're going to be assigned to Eliza for a while, and so for the duration of that, at least, you're assigned to the committee too. But, longer term, I think I do need you to think wider than just witness protection.”
“Longer term? You mean after straight after Eliza, or in two decades?”
“I mean, I'd like you to think, starting now, about how each and every skill you have, and I include the power in that, could be most useful to your country. I don't want you to stay in a role which another person could fill almost equally as well, when you are capable of greater things. Your power is only partly used in your present role, your intelligence is only partly used, your obvious skill in self-defence is only rarely used. I don't see any sign that you're experiencing any trauma from any of Saturday's events. If you have, then I'd like to know it, but from what it looks like to me, Bella, you're quite capable of facing thugs and assassination attempts several times a week, not once or twice a year. Which doesn't surprise me the least, knowing your mother.”
“I didn't know you did.” Bella said, surprised. “She never speaks about what her role was in Security.”
“That's understandable. Do you get on well with her?”
“Yes, of course! She's my mum.”
“Doesn't necessarily follow, Bella. You can tell her about what I've said, and say `hi' to her from me. Also tell her I say that you've a need to know.”
“I think that might be the scariest thing you've said yet.”
“What, that you need to know?” Maria asked.
“Ignorance is a lot safer, sometimes.” Bella said.
“And very dangerous other times.”
“Yes. Exactly. If I've got a need to know something, then my life might be getting dangerous.”
“And you didn't think that carrying information in your skull that demons didn't want revealed might just be a bit risky?” Maria asked, surprised.
“I hadn't thought of it like that.” Bella admitted, set back. “I'm too used to pretending it didn't really happen. Do you think I still do?”
“I don't know. But I do know that a live witness is more useful than a dead one, and I've been praying that you stay that way.”
“Urm, thank you, I think. Why is it that everyone I seem to meet these days is a believer?”
Maria laughed. “Maybe God wants you to think about your future too?”
“I'm thinking, honest!”
“Good. Get to deciding soon, too, Bella. I'm sure Eliza's happy to answer your questions.”
“Most of them.” Bella decided that she'd push a little “She gets a bit vague about you though.”
“She's quite capable of keeping things to herself where necessary. Would have to be to be given her gift, of course.”
“It's nice to know that there are limits to what I need to know.”
“Actually, you do need to know this.” Maria said. “Eliza is a target for multiple reasons. You know she's a witness. She's also gifted, which I presume no bad-guys know. But she's also my niece. My brother decided to misuse his power to become an arch-villain. I don't know how many people he told that I work in Security, or how many he told about Eliza. But it's another risk element. At least with her gift there's not much chance of her staying kidnapped for long.”
“But since the bad-guys don't know that, they might try?” Bella asked.
“They might easily try, yes. But either set, both sets, are going to be very very well prepared. In another case my brother gave a disposable underling an I.D. faker which fooled a system which should have been hardened against such devices.”
“Ouch. The arms-race continues.”
“Yes. So don't trust systems, don't trust electronics. Trust flesh and blood and that flesh and blood warning system you've got.”
“I think it's on the blink.” Bella admitted, “I've not heard you decide anything.”
“I try not decide things about people near them these days.”
“I didn't know that was possible.” Bella responded, surprised.
“I learned the risks a long time ago, and have the scars to prove it. It takes discipline, and forethought. One thing you could help with is helping our more exposed people practice it. Pris here, for starters.”
“I don't have any decisions to make at the moment.”
“Yes you do. You have to decide when you're going to ask Bella to test you!”
Bella grinned. “Sorry Pris. I heard that. You decided you'd decide later.”
Pris shook her head. “Maria, how was I supposed to avoid that!”
“Just toss the question around a bit and then get bored of it.”
“But remember it later?”
“Yes.”
“So, when are you going to tell Bella about your plans for her?”
“What an interesting question! You think I have some? Isn't she a cheeky young woman, Bella?”
“You have plans for everyone Maria!” Pris retorted with a grin.
Bella looked in admiration at Maria. She hadn't heard a thing, not even the decision to defer, that she'd heard from Pris. “Maria, I'm amazed. You've really got everything so planned?”
“Almost, it helps that I know what topics I want to cover in a meeting.”
“Can I bring up a topic?” Pris asked.
“Yes Pris. I assume it'll be relevant.”
“Roland's trial. Now starting tomorrow, any idea how long it'll last?”
“Prosecution wants a week.”
“So defence gets a week too?”
“Probably longer.”
“So, what happens late-December?” Pris asked, thinking of Karen's wedding.
“The wedding? We pray it's over by then.”
“Yes, of course. But if not?”
“There are contingency plans. Worry ye not.”
“You mean they elope?”
“Not quite. What is the relevance of this to Bella?”
“I'm sure you know who's on the invitation list.”
Maria looked thoughtfully at her assistant. “OK Pris, you win. Bella I presume you heard a decision from me.”
“I heard `Bella needs to know about Karen'. I presume we're talking about Karen and George's wedding, from the committee?”
“Yes, Bella. Eliza has been invited to my daughters wedding.” Maria paused to allow that fact to sink in. “It cannot be a small informal affair, since my husband is an ambassador and heads of state are on the invitation list. There will be press, there will be foreign dignitaries. You're going to be there with Eliza, and somehow you're going to arrange to keep her out of camera shot. We really hope that the trial is over, George is about to go from unknown student in witness protection to husband of celebrity bride. If the press are alert enough they'll recognise the wedding dress too. It's an heirloom with quite a history. If they dig into George's background then they'll find his unsavory relatives — you've heard of the Kray family, I'm sure — and they'll probably have a field day about the whole lot. It would be far far better if the trial were over, or there's a real risk that the jury will find themselves reading something they think is perfectly unrelated to the case and see lots of stuff that influences their opinion of George, either one way or the other.”
Bella had done a double take when Maria said the word daughter, but the rest almost sent her into shock. She sat there with her mouth open for a while, and then managed “Urm. I wasn't expecting any of that. Wow. I really had a need to know all that?”
“Yes. If you hadn't known that by the wedding day, you'd have been incapacitated.”
“Whereas now I just go quietly mad?”
“Whereas now you talk to your mum. Pris, you said that Karen had a little gossip with Bella's mum?”
“Yes. I did tell her who Karen was.”
“And her security clearance, I presume?” Maria asked.
“Yes. It set her mind at rest that she wasn't going to break any laws.”
“Bella, you can talk this through with your mum, she's retired but still cleared. You're officially raised to two-alpha now, by the way, which is rather unusual for witness protection officer, but it makes sense for what the committees dealing with, and for talking these things through with Eliza.”
“Mum's never told me what her clearance is, was.”
“Two alpha. But a whole different branch. You're fieldwork, she was auditing and planning.”
This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.
“But I've just been raised to the level she had after she'd worked there for ever?” Bella asked, shocked. “What happens next month, I get told I'm at one alpha like you?”
“Oh, no. I'm higher than that, don't worry.” Maria said “Pris here is one alpha.”
“I thought that's where the scale stopped.” Bella said, confused.
“Yes. Most people do. Level one still means that some people higher decide what subjects you need to know about. I have to decide what I need to know about myself.”
“A bit like people with the gift.”
“Yes. They have my sympathy and compassion.”
“And I don't need to know how many people have one-alpha, let alone at whatever you call your level.”
“No. You don't. But you do need to know that I report fully to the king, and if the prime minister asks the right questions then I answer them. If you or Sarah have more dreams or visions, you report them to me directly, or via Pris. Oh, by the way... None of our security levels allows you to enquire about who has the gift, or inform people what you know, whatever clearance they have. That's not an official secret, therefore it isn't covered. Oh, Kate is two alpha, like you, other permanent staff at the institute are two beta, and Karen and George are one gamma.”
“I still don't understand why I need this clearance. I mean, this morning I woke up perfectly happy to be cleared to three gamma. I'm not aware of applying for it, and I'm not aware of doing anything particularly trust-inspiring. Quite the opposite, in fact.”
“You need it because you're going to be doing some thinking and training and contacting people with your power. Some people in this organisation might get uppity if a lowly three gamma told them they'd been told to listen to their thoughts.”
“And you don't want me to stay in witness protection much longer.”
“Half your skills and abilities are underused or entirely wasted there, Bella.”
“This is crazy. I've only been out of training for two years.”
“Sounds about right. It'll be time to move on soon, expand your horizons.” Pris said. Bella looked at the older agent, and realised that there wasn't such a great age difference between them.
“It's all about duty, really, Bella.” Maria said. “We don't have so many agents that we can have people under-utilised. We don't want to burn you out, or put you in a job you can't cope with, but you've vowed to do what you can for your country. Witness protection is important, but there are more important things you are capable of doing, and if you're not doing them then it might well be that they won't get done, or not as well as they should be.”
“But, I've been a complete idiot in the past! I presume Pris reported on how I ended up with the dreams?”
“Yes. It convinced me you know how to keep secrets, and how to release them in the interests of the public good. Those two are important parts of level two clearance. Have several more sandwiches, they're so small, you need more than one if you're going to stay healthy.”
“Thank you.”
“Now, Bella, you dreamt about meeting the king.”
Bella swallowed her mouthful. “Yes. I'm rather nervous about the whole idea, and don't know what I can add to what was in the diaries and what Sarah saw.”
“In some ways it should be soon, in others, it should be later. What's going to happen is that I'm going to report to him tomorrow, about various matters of concern. One of them will be Valentines day. I'm going to tell him about the committee, and about what steps have been taken and could be taken to confirm the threat. He might decide to talk to you alone or with someone else from the committee.”
“I dreamt Karen was there with me.” Bella said.
“Yes. But maybe the king will ask for Sarah instead, after all she looked inside your skull. Why would Karen be called?”
“I don't know.” Bella was set back a bit. “It would make more sense for it to be Sarah, wouldn't it? She's got her gift, after all. Would Karen's higher clearance be relevant?”
“Maybe. Or maybe she'll be there for another reason entirely. What I'm saying is that your dreams won't be slavishly followed by the king.”
“What you said about the gifts not being official secrets. Does the king know Sarah has the gift?”
“I haven't reported it to him, no.”
“But Pris reported to you that Sarah had used it on me.”
“Yes. She knew that I knew about Sarah's gift. And if the king asks me who'd looked into your memories then I'd have to decide if I could ask Sarah if she minded first. If she did, then I'd be in a difficult position, and I'd tell the king that. In my report I'll identify her only as a staff-member of the institute.”
“But you don't think he'll ask, so you're not asking for Sarah's thoughts before-hand?”
“Actually, it hadn't occurred to me that he might ask. It's not that he knows the staff there, anyway.”
“I see, I think. Does he know of anyone with the gift?” Bella asked, curiously.
“I don't think I need to answer that.” Maria replied. Did he? She wasn't sure what Tasha had reported about her conversion, but Karen's name might have come up.
“No. Sorry. I shouldn't have asked.”
“Pris, you've been very quiet.” Maria noticed.
“Who, me?” Pris replied. “I've just been watching your reactions, Maria.”
“Oh yes? You're not planning on starting to mind-read me now are you?”
“No, but you did lose your calm just a little when Bella started asking about who knew about whom.”
“It's very awkward to think I might need to hide stuff from the king.”
“Then make a call or three and get their permission!” Pris suggested forcefully. “Or if you don't want to, then I will get a list of people who don't mind you making them known to their majesties.”
Maria's wrist unit discretely let her know there was a message for her.
“Sounds like a good job for an assistant. Please do it Pris, I think I need to go.” She checked her unit. “Bother. Yes, I definitely need to go. God be with you girls.”
“And with you Maria.” Pris said.
“Goodbye, Maam.” Bella said, not feeling quite comfortable in invoking a deity she hadn't quite believed in yet. Maria left with smile and a wink to Pris.
Pris got the message. “Am I right, Bella, that you said that to avoid mentioning God?”
“Urm, yes. Why?”
“Just something I read recently. Do you know where the word Goodbye comes from?”
“Let me guess, it's some sort of contracted form?”
“Yes. God be with ye.”
“I might have known. So how does God become Good?”
“Oh, God's always been good, Bella. The real question is how we do.” Pris said with a grin.
Bella looked around for something heavy, but decided against it. “I'd get in trouble if I hit you with that lamp, wouldn't I?”
“Yes. In answer to your question, people probably were so used to saying good day and good afternoon, and the like, that they just sort of mixed the two. But do you know the answer to my sneaky question?”
“What, how do we become good?”
“Yes.”
“Eliza's told me.”
“And?”
“I'm not there yet.”
“But you believe God's real?”
“I think I always have, really, deep down.”
“But?”
“But. I'm hesitating. I'm missing some pieces I think. It doesn't all fit together.”
“Or maybe one of the pieces you think you've got isn't right.”
“Like what?”
“Maybe you've got a wrong idea of what God's like, or some silly idea that you'll have to give up rational thought if you accept him.”
“Or the sky computer will gas me if I get my answers wrong.” Bella joked.
“Hmm. Computer almost did, didn't it?”
“A very surreal experience, that. I liked the way that Sarah pointed out to the computer that not believing in God and believing in God aren't total opposites.”
“Yes. Bella, do you want to talk about God? I'm more than happy to. Maria would be too, except that she keeps getting called away.”
“I'd wondered about that. It's normal?”
“Oh yes. I was amazed, actually. She got more uninterrupted time today than I'd expected.”
“That's sad, her not being allowed to just tell the world to go away, she's in a meeting.”
“She can, actually. Does, quite regularly. Meeting the king, for instance. Or if she's praying with someone.”
“That's one of the pieces that doesn't fit.” Bella admitted.
“What, prayer?”
“Yes. Why does your all-knowing God, who you say knows your every thought, want you to talk to him?”
“For our own good. If we don't ask, then it'd be so easy to take things for granted. So, he waits to be asked. Then, sometimes he says yes, sometimes he says no, sometimes he says wait. And I'm told that sometimes he doesn't answer until we've been praying about something for years.”
“So, he keeps you guessing what he wants?”
“Bella, you don't realise it yet, I'm only just beginning to realise it, but we need God. It's not just that we've got no future without him, it's not just that we feel better after praying. It's not even just that we're up against some nasty enemies that you know more about than me.”
“Not really. I just know they terrify me. But go on.” chipped in Bella.
“We need him. Humans just have a design which functions far better if we are in contact with God. I don't mean athletic abilities or aches and pains, but important things like joy and attitudes and trust, that sort of thing. If I didn't have to ask Him for anything, which is really only a tiny part of the thing called prayer, then since I'm lazy and no super-saint then I'd probably forget about staying in contact with God at all, and I know I'd suffer, and people around me too.”
“Oh.” Bella pondered “I guess that makes sense. Thanks.”
“I presume that's not the only issue.”
“No. I think I'll talk to Eliza about the big one. It could take some time, and I've apparently got to talk to my Mum and be back there at eleven tonight.”
“Have a good chat to your mum.”
“Thanks, I intend to. Oh! Maria said to talk about what she'd said, but then she said some more. Is there anything I shouldn't pass on?”
Pris replayed the conversation in her mind. “I don't think so. Just make sure there's no one listening at the keyhole.”
It was a standard farewell phrase in Security so Bella automatically replied “I will.”
“Really? There aren't many houses with one these days.”
“Well, no, but Mum did have a cat-flap put in a year back.”
“That's... not very secure is it.” Pris said.
“No. The only good point about it is that it's one where the cat has to have a special collar, and there's a security camera in the kitchen which should spot someone sending in a spy-probe. But, no. I was a bit surprised when Mum did it.”
“Did she say why she did?”
“Her knees, and the cat. Her knees aren't that great sometimes, and the cat is a complete pain where it comes to deciding if it wants to be in or out.”
“Well, check out the house with a bug-detector before you talk to her, OK? Your mum's still a potential target.”
“Will do. Bye.”
“May God be with you, Bella.”
----------------------------------------
11.10PM, ELIZA'S SAFE-HOUSE
Bella entered the safe-house and knocked on the door. She wasn't quite sure why it took two people, Dirk and Eliza, to replace her, but that's what HQ had decided. Two Elizas in the house didn't make conversations easier either.
“Sorry I'm late, Dirk, Eliza. I got officially told I had to talk to my mum, and well... there was a lot to talk about and we lost track of time.”
“Oh yes?” Eliza the security agent said “Who told you to do that?”
“I'm not sure I should say, sorry.”
“What's this all about, Bella?” Dirk chipped in. “You get called away for a mystery meeting and then go and talk with your mum? I really hope this isn't some kind of personal issue you've managed to persuade someone in headquarters to cover for you.”
“Mum is security cleared up to 2-alpha, Dirk. She used to be in internal auditing and planning. I was given some secure information about a future event and got told to get her to help me plan what to do when it happens.”
“Oh. So, anything you care to pass on to us?”
“What level are you cleared to, Dirk?”
“Three alpha, so as a lowly three gamma you can tell me everything you know.”
“I'm afraid not Dirk. One thing I can tell you is I've been bumped up all the way to two.” Bella decided she didn't need to say what sort of level two. It was embarrassing enough anyway to have higher clearance than a far more senior agent.
“Oof. That got him where it hurts.” his sister commented. “Sorry brother, looks like Bella needs to keep her meeting secret.”
“Is Eliza asleep?” Bella asked, changing the subject.
“No, I'm here.” the other Eliza said from the kitchen. “I presume your mum fed you? If not I'm just making a late snack if you want some cheese on toast.”
“Too much to talk about, actually. So yes, please! Anything I should know about here?”
“No, nice and quiet.” Dirk said.
“Enjoy your cheese on toast. I'm planning to pig out on the whole pizza and jam donut thing about ten minutes after we leave.” Eliza said.
“That's not very healthy.” Dirk commented. “I'm going to have a cheese cake instead of the donut. I get dairy and fruit that way.”
“And probably twice the calories. And there's already cheese on the pizza, and I get fruit in the jam.” Eliza replied.
“Does jam count as fruit, Bella?” Dirk asked.
“Pass. But I can see you're hungry, so off you go!”
“See you around, Bella. Extra anchovies are calling.” Eliza said.
“Bye!”
After they'd gone, Bella went to the kitchen. “I couldn't tell them, but I've been talking to your aunt.”
“Oh! She's decided to let you in on that secret, has she?”
“Yes. And about Karen being your cousin, George's notorious relatives, and that I'm supposed to keep you away from cameras at their wedding.”
“I thought I couldn't go!” Eliza exclaimed.
“Well, Maria thinks you're going to be there.”
“That's wonderful!”
“I'm glad you think so. I hope they know what they're doing. George being in a safe house one day and then plastered all over the gossip columns the next, beside Karen in some special wedding dress.”
“And Dad's trial due to start the next day. It doesn't seem very normal, I agree.”
“Oh, further news is that they've moved his trial, it starts tomorrow, apparently.”
“Well, that's good I suppose. You haven't heard any more have you?”
“About your Dad? No. About other things, Maria would like me to be on the committee as long as you're in witness protection, she recommends that we drop 'Valentines day' from the title, and she thinks we should be more international, suggests government employees and respected persons who know about the gift. Thought you lot might just happen to know some.”
“I expect the others do. International meetings take some organising though.”
“She'd thought of that. Suggests that the institute could easily set up some telepresence units, and eventually the committee could be run with UN funding, actually as a UN quasi-autonomous committee, meeting at the institute and other such secure locations.”
“That... that does make sense, but I hate to think how much bureaucracy and lobbying it would involve for us to make that happen.”
“I rather got the impression that she'd arrange to have the UN come begging to us, rather than the other way round.”
“That'd be an impressive feat. I didn't realise she had that much influence.”
Bella realised to her chagrin that maybe she'd overstated the case, and also possibly given away a bit too much about Maria's status. “I don't know. I think I stated it wrongly, but she gave me the impression that the committee is something the UN ought to have, and would realise it ought to have quickly. So if we exist and she drops some hints in the right direction, maybe it'll all fall into place quickly. I guess her husband could do some effective hinting too.”
“Yes, that's probably true.” Eliza agreed.
“Talking of hints, I don't think I'm breaking any rules to say that she wants me to use every relevant skill and ability I have to the extent that I can within the service. In other words I'm over-skilled for this job, and she wants me to expand my horizons. That's the one which took longest with Mum.”
“Your mum must be proud of you.”
“Yes. But I like doing this job.”
“Maybe you'll like other roles too.” Eliza pointed out.
“Maybe.” Bella conceded, grudgingly.
“And by every skill and ability, she includes the power?”
“Yes.”
“Well, it makes sense. I wonder how many people there are with it in security.”
“You could find out, couldn't you?”
“Yes.” Eliza said with a grim look. “Sort of. I'd need to look at an area, zoom in where I found matching people, count the dots. Do you think your bosses would like me to know where lots and lots of people in Security are?”
“When you put it like that... they'd probably scream blue murder.”
“Statistics are probably more useful... One or two in a thousand or so is a number I've heard people use. So if you know how many officers Security have, you can guess the rest.”
“I think that'd be an official secret.”
“Probably on the network though, as a ball-park figure.”
“Oh, probably.”
“Then you could work out how many potential dates you have, assuming you're looking for someone with the power who works in Security. You know, roughly fourty years in service, so one in eighty are men the same age as you, and if you're open to a 4 year age difference, and that's one twentieth of the number you just thought of, or about one or two potential dates per twenty thousand security officers.”
“Oh don't! Eliza, that's terrible! I'm pretty sure there aren't that many people in Security! And you haven't even taken account of the number who are already married, or have fatal personality flaws.”
“My chances are just as bad, you know. With a total of fifty-six of us in the whole world with the gift, that works out as two men within five years of me. I think I know them already, and they're already taken.”
“Have you asked if there are any more?”
“What?”
“You know... Hey, guys, are any of you out there roughly my age and single?”
“No. I haven't! It'd be way too embarrassing. And is having the gift in common even enough? What if they happen to be from some weird culture I can't cope with? What if number three, if he exists, is just someone I can't actually get on with?”
“But at least you know you've got your God in common.”
“True, but what if there's some kinds of church I'd feel really uncomfortable with. Oh no, I've just had a thought... I don't know how old the monk is. He might be number three for all I know.”
“The monk?”
“One of us is a Catholic monk. Vows of celibacy, you know.”
“Awkward in a potential husband, that.”
“Totally.”
“But you don't know how old he is.”
“No.”
“And you don't want to ask?”
“I'm new to this gift, Bella. I've not talked to very many people with it, I'm still having trauma counselling, and there's too many scary things about to happen.”
“So you're not thinking of hunting out Mr Right.”
“Of course I am. I just shouldn't be. Kate's warned me already that I'm not in a fit mental state to go husband-hunting.”
“Hmm. I bet that helped.”
“Oh yes.” Eliza's voice dripped sarcasm.
“So what are you going to do? Keep hoping or put your gift to work?”
“What I should do is pray. I've not been doing enough of that, really.” Eliza admitted.
“How much is enough?”
“Not sure. But given my mental state, more than I've been doing.”
“Ah. Pris was saying you Christians needed prayer. No, sorry, I'm misquoting. She actually said that you pray because humans function better when in contact with God.”
Eliza thought for a while. It was true. Very true. “She's right. So when are you planning to start?”
“Me? Pray?” Bella realised she shouldn't be surprised at the question, but she was.
“Well, you've been talking to me about Christianity for a few days now, and you've obviously been getting other opinions, which suggests you're not just killing time. Any further thoughts on the matter?”
“Yes.” Bella said. “It's sort of related to what we've been talking about, in a messed up way. But we can talk about it tomorrow if you like. It's late.”
“I don't think I'm going anywhere tomorrow.” Eliza said, with a sour expression.
“I might be, come to think of it.”
“Oh, where might you be gallivanting off to tomorrow?”
“Your aunt is talking to his Majesty tomorrow. For all I know he might decide there and then to call me in.”
“Oh. Not a pleasure trip then.”
“No.” Bella replied. Then she decided it was time to raise the big issue. “How can I trust him?”
“The king?” Eliza's confusion was audible.
“No. Your God.” Bella replied.
“I... I don't get the question, sorry.”
“I think it's the real big issue for me. I've put myself into the hands of spiritual forces before. I know I called out to God and he got me out of that mess, but how do I know that your God is the God who did that, and how do I know that he didn't just do it to make use of me in the future. I don't want to be used. I don't want to be a play-thing. How do I tell if your God is a nice guy to commit myself to? Once bitten twice shy, I guess. I know it probably seems stupid, but I don't feel I know him well enough to.”
“I think there's only one way, Bella.”
“Yes?”
“Read the Bible. Read the Bible and ask God to help you see what he's like.”
“That's quite a big book.”
“Yes. But it's full of people being stupid and God putting up with them, meeting them where they are, and quite often them heading in the right direction afterwards. Or if you read some bits, they start off OK, but stop listening to God, follow the crowd and God gets cross with them.”
“I heard once there's a lot of bodies in that book.”
“Yes. There's a chapter fairly early on... So and so lived so many years, had kids, and then he died. Generations and generations of `and then he died.' You get the point when you've read it enough times.”
“What, no one lives forever?”
“Consequences of sin. We die. Millions of people a day; people are born, live, and then die.”
“That's depressing.”
“Depends how you look at it. Death is certain, the question is, is your life and death pointless, or do you use the opportunity you have in this life to qualify for a meaningful life here and an even better one after death?”
“So you're saying that we should be good now, so we earn our place later?”
Bella asked, confused. That seemed at odds with what Eliza had said before.
“No!” Eliza responded “Sorry, I'm saying that you've only got a few decades at most, maybe much much less, to decide that you want to accept God's offer. You need time to decide, that's fine. I guess I'm just warning you not to take too long deciding.”
“Urm. thanks, I think.” Bella said, feeling a bit hurt.
“Bella, I'm sorry, I'm not explaining myself very well, or answering your question at all. My answer is that God is trustworthy. Far, far, more trustworthy than any human. Read the Bible, it'll help you see what God's like. But, beware: you could go on finding out more and more about what God's like for all your life, and still not know him totally. At some point you need to decide you've learned enough about Him, and trust Him enough to get to know him properly — one to one. Even then, you'll never know him perfectly, he's too big, too wonderful, too amazing. You're my friend, I don't have many, so... please don't wait too long.”
“I think I get it. From your point of view, you're saying don't get distracted with second hand knowledge. Is that it?”
“Yes. I think so.”
“But from my point of view... First hand knowledge is too scary.”
“Bella. There's possibly a problem.” Eliza said, hesitatingly.
“Go on.”
“As you know, those spiritual forces messed with your head, put dreams in there, that sort of thing.”
“And scared me silly. Yes.”
“What if they're still doing it? What if the dreams have stopped but they're still filling your head with groundless fears. You know, like you were convinced having your thoughts read would hurt, and so you were afraid of the meeting.”
“You're making too much sense, friend.”
“So, can I pray for you to be able to think clearly? Now? And if you don't mind that, will you listen and decide if you want to say Amen to it? That's to say, that you agree, and you want it to be answered too.”
“No promises I will agree. But, yeah, OK. I'll trust you that much.”
“OK. Urm.... Father God, you who made the universe and made humans in your own image, to reflect your glory, forgive me that I've been drifting far from you recently and have neglected prayer. Hear my prayers now I beg. I want to pray for Bella. You know the foolish things that she's sought in the past, the influences she's listened to. I pray that just as you stopped the dreams, you'll enable her to think clearly, without the influence of any unclean spirits. Let her thoughts be her own. Permit her eyes to see you at work in the world and her mind to understand your Bible. Amen.” There were other things Eliza wanted to pray, but she prayed them only in her heart, she couldn't ask Bella to agree to those yet.
“I agree with those requests, God. I don't want those fear-mongers in my thoughts or affecting my thinking.” It was interesting, Eliza thought, how Bella seemed to implicitly trust God to deal with the evil spirits, and to play fair as he did so, but claimed she was afraid of trusting Him. She took it as a good sign, a very good sign, but she felt it was better not to point that out to Bella quite yet, unless Bella brought up being afraid again.