ASSOCIATION / CH. 9:SEPARATION OF POWERS
9AM, TUESDAY, 2ND JAN 2272, THE PALACE
“So, tell me the worst, Albert, what are the press saying today?”
Albert shook his head. “There's still hardly anything. I mean, yesterday they were just reporting on what you said without much editorial comment, except it being a dramatic revelation. Plus of course there were comments from Christian papers who were cheering you on, Dad. But today? Business as usual, I'd say, almost as though the editors have got together and decided 'let's forget his Majesty asked us to stop being proud, that's too embarrassing.'”
“Well, I wasn't expecting sack-cloth and ashes really, but nothing?”
“I don't know if they're hiding their heads in the sand, keeping quite because they don't want to seem disrespectful, or just waiting to see what public opinion says after a while.”
“Nothing at all?”
“Well, there's one editorial,” Albert admitted, “in the Free Republican Post.”
“Well, we don't expect them to worry about being seen to be disrespectful then.” the queen commented.
“Ah, no. Interesting editorial though. I think the writer might actually be a bit impressed.”
“What's the headline?”
“King admits lies.” Albert said with a wince.
“Oh well, that's better than some other options they had.”
“But you didn't lie, Dad.” Albert protested.
“I certainly did a good job of misleading you, Albert. So, what makes you think they were impressed?”
“OK if I just read it?”
“Of course.”
“In a rare display of total honesty, the King's New Year's Eve speech covered a wide range of areas in which the public have possibly failed to understand the reasons for the decisions coming from the palace in the past few months. Most shocking is the admission that he's misled us about his religious convictions for the past... who can tell how many years? Certainly if we look back at his early statements, it looks like he went from agnostic to atheist at some point. So, like many of us, he didn't want to admit that God existed, and found denial more comfortable than saying that maybe there was someone up there. Well, congrats, your maj. for owning up to that porkie, but I thought you had to abdicate if you did that? Quick someone pass me the constitution. Hmm, maybe not, as long as you didn't swear on it or anything like that. So, should we let him off for being human? Maybe. Pretty brave to admit it, but your maj, that statement's definitely not the sort of thing that'll keep you honorary president of the atheist convention. Oh, you weren't? Amazing. How did you miss that honour? Never mind.
“So, what about the next one: prophetic dreams? What millennium are we in, people? I thought that went out with the fall of Rome. So, maybe this is bigger than the last, actually. At least, now we know why our constitutional dictatorship has ignored all the best advice from science, it wasn't just some powerless religious nutcases that got the word from on high, but the guy on the hot-seat too. The witness that was counted but never discussed has come forth and outed himself. And apparently now a man of his convictions, His majesty has decided to nail his colours to the mast and tell the scientists to not bother trying to convince him he's been listening to the wrong people. Unless, of course they want to try to convince him that he's one of the wrong people. We've been trying to do that for ages and it didn't get us very far.
“So, get on your knees, everyone, and stop pretending that all gods are the same. Apparently no one who knows anything about them agrees with our convenient fibs. We apparently know it and our unelected monarch has just said so. Maybe then the guy in the sky might relent from what he said, and then we won't need to rebuild a city and we can go back to the way we used to be. It used to work for ancient Israel.
“I wonder... if we can actually admit that his maj with his future daughter-in-law seem to be doing a pretty good job of correcting the ill-intent of certain ex-politicians we could mention, does that mean that he'll forgive us for not liking the idea of hereditary monarchy? I must admit, I do prefer the current guy to Mr 'you should be bowing and scraping before me', even though I voted for him once. So, in the interests of being painfully honest and swallowing our pride, your maj, if you're reading this, (yeah, right, pull the other one) we'll give you a thumbs up for being a better ruler than some of the competition. And no, I don't want your job either.' That's the end. I wonder how he'd react if you sent him a thank-you note for the vote of confidence.”
The King laughed “I'm very tempted to.”
“How many people read that channel, do you know?” Eliza asked.
“Well, I'm sure we could check. They have advertisements on the page, after all.” Albert said.
“Is there a comment section?” the Queen asked.
“Oh, yes there certainly is. Quite a lot of comments. Five pages, in fact.”
“What do the repeatable ones say?”
“Hmm, number one: Of course we like his Maj, but that doesn't change the principle. Ten out of ten for saying it like it is.”
“Number two?”
“Not repeatable, but neutral in tone. Number three is probably an offence under advertising standards laws, number four says 'Good speech, good article, but you're not going to turn into a God-bother I hope?' article's author replies 'I'll listen politely when his maj. wants to discuss it with me. Ha ha.' Someone else, user-name of 'Catherine the ungrateful' replies 'So when you get an invitation to the palace, can I come too?' author replies 'Does that count as a dinner date?', Catherine replies 'You get me the invitation, I'll wear my best frock just for you.' Author then asks why she wants to go to the palace, she says she's planning on measuring up for new carpets when she takes over. More along that line, hmm, I'd guess he's been asking her out for ages. Another person tells them to just work it out in private. Catherine replies that this chat area is private, no one bothers reading past the first page of comments. That springs a whole host of replies that oh yes they do — at least thirty 'me too's — and various comments to Catherine that in the new world order of honesty, why won't she give Dan — he's the author — a straight answer for once.”
“Go on Albert, carry on.” The queen prompted.
“Hmm... She replies that she'll certainly go out with him if she gets an invitation to discuss the principals of sound government at the palace. Not that she's demanding a miracle, but she doesn't want to give in to him too easily. She claims she's safe saying that because what self-respecting person from the palace would read this far into the comments on any article in the Post.”
“And the answer is, prince Albert, egged on by his Mother.” the King said.
“They sound like students, don't they?” Eliza said “I was assuming the article was written by someone more middle-aged.”
“Hmm, here we are: 'about the staff page'... Dan is in his late thirtys, Catherine's also on staff, it seems, no age of course. Both claim to be agnostic, she graduated in political philosophy, no information on his subject.” Albert said reading from the terminal.
“Any more about the article?” the queen asked.
“Yes. Someone says that the article is well written but should have addressed the constitutional issues more. Catherine replies that she was the one who looked into it and she's writing an article for the next edition.”
“Albert, could you find out some more about this publication? What's their general attitude, that sort of thing.” the Queen asked.
“Oh, I often look at the main articles.” Albert admitted.
“Really?” she was surprised.
“Yes, I find it interesting to see what's being said about us by the disrespectful minority. It doesn't come out on a daily basis, but it's roughly two or three times a week. Generally, I'd say the editorials are mostly more cynical and philosophical than radical. I've not paid much attention to who writes what though. I'll check on that if you like.”
The King nodded. “Yes please, Albert. If you don't see anything too antagonistic, and Security give them the all clear, then let's give them a surprise.”
“I wonder if it'll be a nice one for that Catherine.” Eliza said “If she's setting what she thinks are impossible conditions....”
“Hmm. Well, she can always refuse the invitation. But Eliza, you were going to look in foreign papers?”
“Yes.” Eliza said, sadly. “According to the ones I've seen commenting on your speech, they're saying that our constitution is now in crisis.”
“Really?”
“Yes. Apparently by mentioning religion, you've crossed the line separating church and state.”
“That's rubbish!” Albert objected.
“That's their historical perspective, I guess.” the Queen said.
“So, not only are we an object of scorn, we're now a rogue state?”
“Not quite, dear. Just their press think we are.”
“I'm sure we'll be hearing from the Ralph at the diplomatic service pretty soon then.”
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9.10 AM, BLACKWOOD CABINS
“Yippee!” Mandy said, and pulled a very surprised Zach into a fierce embrace.
“Mandy, did you speak to your Dad yet?” Sarah asked.
“Yes, last night.” she said, with a massive smile on her face.
“What's this?” May asked.
“Boyfriend, no. University, no idea which one, not my decision, studying pure maths and cryptography, state funded tuition, living allowance, housing provided. Future: cryptographer for internal security, application approved assuming I pass my civics test.”
“Wow. So, were you holding out on us, Mandy?”
“No... but I guess they want me. I only applied last night. The yippee was my acceptance letter.”
“But you were already on their radar, Mandy.”
“I know. I'll just go and call Mum and Dad.”
“I can almost guarantee that no-one else will get a similar result.” Sarah said, “But on the agenda for today we've got individual chats for anyone who wants them, general discussion on what's in store for you at university, and along-side that, I thought it wouldn't hurt to talk about some dangerous things: flirting, courting, dating.”
“Dangerous?” Kara asked.
“Get it wrong and you can ruin your life.” John pointed out.
“We're not going to discuss now, but let's specify the differernces, because they're all a bit fuzzy and can get used interchangeably sometimes. Then, in preparation for discussion after lunch, you can think about which of them are appropriate when. Or, if you find it easier, I'm sure you know what Mama Ng would have approved of, when, and why.” Sarah let that sink in for a little bit. “So, definitions... John, want to do those?”
“Dating: spending time with each other, getting to know each other, with a view to deepening friendship, trust, and love. One party might feel more strongly than the other, but the thought that the relationship might grow is mutual, or at least, it is unless one is trying to break off the relationship. Courting: one party, normally the man, trying to persuade the other to think thoughts about them which include a future together. Flirting is playfully arousing sexual interest in another person or persons. Either because you're selfish and/or cruel and either want the attention or you want to start a contest between rivals, or because you really do want to go to bed with them, Sarah.”
“Who me? Flirt with my husband? Of course! But don't you think limited flirting is a natural part of courtship?”
“I'm sure it often is, but it's not a necessary part of it, not by a long shot.” John pointed out. “Flirting gives the impression that the person flirting wants the other person to be thinking lustful thoughts about them, doesn't it?”
“Oh, Ok, no I don't mean it in that sense. I guess I was more thinking about the admission of desire for the other person. I was wrong to call it flirting - that's going too far.”
“Absolutely. It is culturally normal for us, but we know it's risky territory, and to do it in some cultures would be utterly vulgar.”
“As I ought to know, yes.” Sarah agreed, thinking of Maddie and Robert. “So: Courting is one-sided, dating is mutual. So, young adults, Christians among you think about honouring God in every area of your lives, non-Christians, at least think about the dangers of getting it wrong, but for now, I want everyone put those ideas aside because we're going to talk about getting yourselves educated.”
“Haven't we been doing that all our lives?” Hope asked.
“No. You've been fitting in with a system where you didn't have much choice at all, only about how much effort you'd put in. So, I guess if you've been wasting the past few years then you might have ruined your choices, which would be sad. Now, however, you're going to be choosing your educational path (or not) and that means you're about to make decisions that affect the whole of your life. Mandy just has — she's decided to be a civil servant, which means she's decided to choose a job for life over the choice to pick any job she wants. Since it looks like the job she wants is only in the civil service, that's not really such a bad swap.” Mandy grinned.
“However, it does mean that she's not going to choose where she's going to live, and given the jobs she's going to do, she probably gets into deep deep trouble if she tells you much about it. Faith, can you tell us about your choices, how you ended up doing what you're doing?”
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9.20 AM, NWN OFFICES, RESTORATION
Eleanor, royal correspondent at Nation Wide News, stepped into Albert Campbell's office.
“Yes, Albert?”
“I've had the boss on the phone. We apparently have to have an editorial about the King's speech.”
“And we have to follow his line? What's he demanding I say now? If I make them happy by saying the king might need a rest or something like that then I'm in deep trouble for the royal wedding in ten day's time, aren't I?”
“And if you say well done, King, stand up for what you believe, then we're in deep trouble.”
“What ever happened to editorial freedom?”
“Apparently his majesty crossed a line in their minds.”
“What line is that?”
“Separation of church and state.”
“What? I thought he'd done very well on that one. He spoke about his faith and rejoiced that we were a multi-faith country. What more do they want?”
“Ah, but you see, he didn't do well enough. Not for their point of view, anyway. To their viewpoint, he shouldn't mention God. That apparently is the only level of separation they accept. And they want that question raised.”
“That means they'll only accept an atheist monarch, which isn't separation, it's elevation of atheism above all else. Get a lawyer to write a piece on the constitution if you like, I'm not going to do it.”
“I agree with you, but I need to insist, Eleanor.”
“You want me to write a piece accusing the monarch of breaking the constitution? No way! I'm pretty sure he hasn't. I'll write one saying that foreign media interests are saying that he has, and how funny attitudes are in some parts of the world, if you like, and even interview some constitutional lawyers if you want me to. Get them to say the owners have got their laws in a twist.”
“As long as you stay 'fair and unbiased'. That's all they ask.”
“This is just cultural imperialism. How can we be fair and unbiased if they're forcing their political agenda on us?”
“I know. It's just hiding behind words. Actually... I've got an idea.”
“Yes?”
“The stuff they've been putting out is so totally biassed, it'd make your hair curl. If they want 'fair and unbiassed' here, they should apply it there too, don't you think?”
“Absolutely.”
“I'll challenge them on that. But it might take a while. So, get researching, please. Dig up some constitutional lawyers, preferably with experience abroad, but firmly on our side. Minimum twenty years experience. You might be writing for head office as well. The normal deadlines.”
“OK I'll do that. I'm going to get some help though. Speaking of which, Albert, why don't you contact your counterparts too?”
“What, 'editorial freedom under international pressure?'”
“I'm sure they know.”
“Well maybe they are feeling it, but don't know how widespread it is.”
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10.00AM, THE PALACE
“Your Majesty, Prime minister, minister for justice, minister for foreign affairs, thank you for agreeing to this short-notice meeting. I've had a number of queries from our ambassadors, and the diplomatic service would like the government to speak with a single voice.” Ralph Trinket, the head of the diplomatic service said.
“Where are they getting the idea that we've got a constitutional crisis?” the minister for justice asked.
“It's probably ignorance, but their press are very hot on separation of powers and unquestioningly interpret that through a particular set of secularist-atheist glasses, of the sort that says the only acceptable religion for anyone in authority to promote is atheism.” Ralph replied.
“They probably don't accept that atheism is a religious position.” Albert commented.
“Very true.”
“So, they declare that we have a constitutional crisis, when the only crisis is that their a-priori assumptions do not fit with ours.” the minister for foreign affairs said. “The response should then be educational, I suppose?”
“It's a little more complex that that.” the justice minister said. “My department has received some discrete inquiries from several press organisations, asking for lists of loyal constitutional experts, and the ministry for civil liberties has apparently received queries in regard to safeguards for editorial freedom in the face of pressure from overseas owners.”
“Interesting! Do we interpret this as saying that that elements of our national press are under pressure to promote this foreign agenda?” Albert asked.
“That is how it seems, yes.”
“What are the locally owned media companies saying?”
“Locally owned national news channels?” asked the foreign affairs minister, I'm not convinced that we have any. Economies of scale and such like being what they are.”
“So, maybe we do have a crisis after all. If the local news channels cannot keep editorial freedom....” the Queen said, leaving the consequences unstated.
“There are the local channels.” Eliza pointed out.
“Who don't really have the resources to cover much beyond their local patch, and otherwise get their news from news agencies.” the minister for justice pointed out.
“and those news agencies are equally biased?”
“I suspect so.” Ralph said “It's a question of which English-speaking countries have which understanding of separation of powers. Roughly speaking there are equal populations on both sides of the fence, but unfortunately, it seems that there's been a certain amount of consolidation among media giants in the last few decades and they've all ended up owned by the corporations on the other side right now.”
“There are several pieces of legislation we could apply.” the minister for justice volunteered. “But... I suspect that applying any of them is going to escalate the international criticism significantly.”
“Yes?” prompted the King.
“There are provisions under the hostile powers laws to prohibit foreign influenced propaganda, but that rather assumes that we're at war with the countries concerned. There are powers under the area of eminent domain, where the government could buy out the foreign company under a compulsory purchase order. Thirdly, there's national security legislation, where we could declare the foreign owners to be enemies of the state, which would then make them unsuitable owners of our news channels. It would force them to close down the channels or sell. Lastly, there's the potential charge of deliberate misrepresentation of the law, which would fall on the editors.”
“From a diplomatic perspective, I'd strongly advise against any of these, your majesties. Even the last one would be seen as censorship.”
“But it might strengthen the editors' hands.” the queen remarked, then asked, “What about government-imposed terms of sale on the news channels? I remember hearing about such-things, anyway.” the queen asked “Don't they have anything about undue pressure on editorial freedom?”
“I'd have to check, Maam.”
“I believe that we have two diplomatic opportunities here. Towards other nations and their media, and towards our own national media.” the King said.
Ralph asked “It is then the view of this meeting that our ambassadors need to be explaining that there is a massive difference between expressing a personal religious position and blurring the line between state and religion, and that, the way we see it, to permit a ruler to deny God through speech or silence is equally an expression of a religious position?”
There were no dissenting voices.
“I think that it would also be beneficial to also encourage the other nations who have a similar view on separation to us to state this also.” the minister for justice said. “This media... alliance (dare I use the word cartel?) does seem intent on sparking an international crisis over this matter.”
“I suspect they don't want the attention, but I assure you we'll be trying.” Ralph stated.
“Now, what support can we offer editors seeking to assert their freedom?” the queen asked.
“We can obviously provide them with the information and contacts they seek,” the prime-minister said. “I think I will also be calling the relevant ambassadors and asking them for assurance that their governments will not be in any way be repeating this misunderstanding of law, and perhaps letting the press know of this?”
“That would certainly be most welcome, Mr Prime Minister.” the King agreed, “Perhaps they'd like to interview the ambassadors about it?”
“I'm not really suggesting that we invoke the national security laws,” Albert started, “But, on the other hand, we are facing a national emergency, and it seems that they are seeking to engineer a constitutional crisis, and it's already distracting us from preparations for the impact. Is there not some kind of warning we could give?”
“I think that we can certainly point out to our national editors the mistaken understanding of law that these foreign owners seems to be assuming. But, actually, I think they're probably aware of there being a severe misunderstanding in their parent company's coverage.”
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2.30PM, NWN EDITORIAL MEETING ROOM.
Albert's morning had been filled with discussions between editors, lawyers and diplomats. Now, he was going to make his move, with some top-notch witnesses. He had the feeling he'd need them. He got right down to it once the pleasantries were over.
“Mr Teague, with respect, your assertions sound totally unfounded to my ears.” Albert said, entirely happy that this was a voice only call “And if there is a lack of balance in anyones coverage, it would not seem to be on this side of the ocean. For what it's worth, everyone here agrees with me.”
“Albert, Albert, I know you're chums with your royal family, but really, he's gone too far with this public declaration of his belief.”
“Actually, sir, you have. I've made some enquiries, spoken to a constitutional lawyer, three actually, among other people. It seems that your country's interpretation of separation of state and religion forces people of all religions to speak and act as though they were atheists, and therefore it actually elevates the religion of atheism to a privileged position. Now, I'm not a follower of any god, but I'm sure you'll see that privileging one religious viewpoint is not separation of powers, it's establishing one. If we publish anything that takes the position you're espousing, then we'd have to publish a retraction immediately afterwards saying we've misunderstood the law. I'm not sure what that'd do for our credibility.”
“Well, you've got your lawyers, we've got ours. Publish this, Albert.”
“Whatever happened to editorial freedom?”
“Don't be naïve, Albert. I'm representing the owners.”
“What, all of them? It's their express will that you force me to publish this?”
“Yes.”
“Mr Teague let me state my position clearly. You're asking me to publish a constitutional opinion that I am reliably informed to be a misrepresentation of the law. Knowingly publishing a misrepresentations of the law is potentially a criminal offence here. The opinion you want me to publish is in effect an attack on the constitution and monarch of my country, and it is therefore probably not going to be brushed away. The owners are really asking me to do this?”
“You're missing the big picture, Albert, this is about a collusion between the media over there and your government that amounts to censorship, and the owners don't like that one bit. Publish it, or you're fired.”
“If you wish to force me to publish this, in violation of my editorial freedom, then I want that instruction in writing, and signed in the presence of a notary public or officer of the court or however you do it over there, as guaranteed under the takeover conditions. I will not proceed until that is in my hands. I will then publish whatever you wish, but to avoid prison I will publish alongside it the legal opinion of someone who understands our legal system far better than you.” Albert said, glad he'd rehearsed this bit in his mind.
Bob McDaniel, who was among those listening and happened to be standing beside a fish-tank, mimed holding a microphone up to the fish. It was stress relief, and Albert thought he had a point; certainly the fish weren't trying to get him arrested.
Mr Teague started speaking again: “Albert, don't be so naïve! You can't lay that condition on us. It doesn't work like that. Just publish or you're fired.”
“Mr Teague, I've explained why I will publish under the reasonable conditions that I've laid down, I'll say it again: if you don't do what I've asked, then you're asking me to get arrested. I'm not going to do that for you.”
“It's been nice working with you, Albert. You're fired.”
“I'll await the letter from your lawyers with interest. I hope you took comprehensive notes, good people, I don't think he's going to repeat himself.”
“Who are you talking to, Albert?”
“I know I mentioned them earlier, the ones who thought your reporting was biased. Did you think I meant everyone in the country? They probably do, but I meant the reporters in this room.”
“What do you mean, the reporters in that room? Who's there?”
“Oh a few of the usual suspects, Bob McDaniel, our intrepid roving reporter.....”
“He's fired too!”
“Along with Myra Wilcox, business reporter from International News, and Jack Fisher from Finance Today, who you can't fire because they don't work for you. Oh, and we're also enjoying a rare visit from an officer from Internal Security, who's just showing me some highlighted passages from some law or another. Something about attempting to commission a crime, and attempting to destabilise the government at a time of national emergency. I expect they'll explain it all to you next time you visit.” Albert disconnected before there could be a reply. “Oh, that bit was fun!. Sorry you've been fired too, Bob.”
“That's OK, Albert. He's got time to reconsider. And anyway, I am overdue for retirement.”
“Albert, you're sure about us publishing this?” Myra asked.
“Yes. Absolutely. You'll notice that he didn't make any claim of privacy for the conversation, and I did tell him you were here.”
“Just about.” Jack said. “And our officer of the crown here sees no problem?”
“He had the opportunity to claim privacy, once he knew that there were others listening in. He didn't. He was even told you were reporters. I'll happily witness to that. He's got until you publish to contact you and claim privacy if he wants to. If he contacts you after you've published then, well, tough, too late. So, I suppose that you might be wondering if it's OK to run away and turn off your wrist units. That's not a suggestion you understand, that's just my interpretation of what you might want to do. It would be most improper for me to suggest such a plan of action. But, so that you know the law, it is incumbent on him to contact you. He's failed to take an opportunity he had to claim privacy so it's not incumbent on you to take any special precautions to make yourself contactable.
Support creative writers by reading their stories on Royal Road, not stolen versions.
"If he does contact you, then you would then immediately have to pull the story if it's not been published, but it's not something he can claim retrospectively or through a third party.”
“Thank you for your informative exposition of the law, sir. Now, I must be going, I have a report to file.” Jack said.
“Me too,” Myra said. “I always turn my wrist unit to no calls when working on a story, don't you, Jack?”
“Oh, when it's an important one like this, absolutely. Respected editor and journalist sacked over editorial freedom? That can't be interrupted by just any old caller.”
Jack and Myra left quickly.
“I'd better go and make my report too,” the agent said. “I'm sure you'll want to inform your staff, Mr Campbell. And I'm sure you won't be surprised to learn that after asking you break the law like that, the courts will be deciding if the present owners are fit persons to have any control over a media company. Which reminds me... hold on please.” he tapped out a message to control, waited for a reply and then sent an acknowledgement.
“Sorry, I've just set some wheels in motion for that side of things.”
“Where would that leave NWN?”
“Well, a telephone firing like that needs to be followed up by a written notification. Until you get that, Albert, you're still editor. If the courts decide your owners aren't fit persons, then NWN would be placed into administration until a buyer can be found. To protect the company, we've just placed a partial block on NWN's accounts; salaries and the like ought to be paid, but the owners shouldn't be able to drain the accounts ahead of the court decision.”
“On behalf of the staff, thank you.”
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Myra checked what she'd written one last time, before sending it in:
“Heads roll as NWN editor choses editorial freedom over job. Global News Syndicate, the multinational owners of Nation-Wide-News, via their representative Mr Teague, have just sought to force NWN to publish the syndicate's opinion of the King's speech, despite strong arguments against them presented by Albert Campbell, editor in chief. Describing their opinion as a misrepresentation of our constitution, and an attempt to reinterpret the separation of religion and state in a way that placed atheistic religious opinions in a privileged position, Mr Campbell requested that Mr Teague provide that instruction in written form. Mr Teague refused to comply, leaving the NWN editor the stark choice between being fired or ignoring the editorial freedom supposedly guaranteed by the take-over agreement of NWN only eight months ago. Mr Teague point-blank refused to abide by the conditions he himself had signed, saying 'Albert, you're being naïve. It doesn't work like that'. So how does it work, Mr Teague? A multinational syndicate can ignore its commitments when it feels like it? Even with the written instruction, Mr Campbell would have become liable to prosecution for knowingly publishing a misrepresentation of the law, unless he was very careful to make it clear that the opinion of the owners is incorrect and accompany it with a total refutation. Mr Teague seems to think that our laws, our constitution and Mr Campbell's editorial freedom, not to mention his physical freedom, are all of no account. I'm sure it will not surprise anyone that Mr Campbell did not bow to this bully.
As a witness to this conversation (which at no point was stated to be private), I, Myra Wilcox, am fully ready to testify to this in a court of law, should, for instance the courts question the fitness of Mr Teague and the syndicate he represents to run a media corporation. On being told that Bob McDaniel, NWN's award-winning reporter was also present, Mr Teague immediately declared that he was fired too. It is not yet known if this verbal dismissal will be followed by a written confirmation, but I will of course also be willing to testify in any unfair dismissal case.”
“Myra, you know we're under similar pressure?” her editor asked.
“Yes. But this isn't about the king's speech, is it?”
“No, it's about editorial freedom. Albert's a brave man for bringing it to a head. You're sure we can publish?”
“Albert mentioned 'people here' at the beginning of the call and named us at the end. Teague made no privacy claims. I was there, Jack Fisher was there, someone from Internal Security was there, quietly pointing out the laws that Teague was breaking. Publish it quick before Mr Teague calls me to claim privacy, and we're in the clear.”
“OK. It's going up on the site, and it'll be in the O-clock bulletin. What if he calls?”
“Apparently the privacy claim has to go direct from him to me, not via a third party. So, would you mind if I took a little walk, to clear my mind? If he doesn't want to make the effort to contact me that's not our problem.”
“Urm, how would he contact you?”
“Arrange for someone to find me in the park, of course. I'll have my wrist unit with me, but, you know, I don't like having it on when I'm clearing my head.”
“Very wise, Myra. Have a lovely walk. We'll want you around for live interview at about half past the hour. Makeup at about ten past?”
“Certainly!”
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WED 3RD JAN, 9AM. AUDITING H.Q.
Vivian sat in the chair in the secure interview room. It wasn't particularly comfortable. Nor was the fact that she was on this side of the table. The interviewer, Vivian observed as she entered, was one of the triumvirate who oversaw auditing. Vivian wasn't entirely sure if she should be feeling honoured or terrified.
“Vivian, I know you're an intelligent woman, since there aren't any other sort in auditing. So, I assume you can make a reasonable stab at why you've been called here.”
“I would presume it's to do with the statement of past questionable deeds, I submitted on Monday, maam.”
“Yes. It is. I'm reasonably sure that those deeds must weigh very heavily on your mind.”
“I have had... significant help in dealing with them, maam.”
“You are speaking of those of the fifty-six who confronted you, and convinced you that you'd made a very bad choice?”
“One in particular, who had made similar bad choices. She was a great help to me, yes. But, actually, she's not been the biggest help.”
“Someone else?”
“Yes, Maam. God. I'm sorry if that makes you uncomfortable, but God has reassured me that I'm forgiven. It doesn't change my past, but it changes my future.”
“In what way does it change your future?”
“No more guilt. No more loneliness, either, not even much doubt about whether God really thinks I can be trusted.”
“Could you unpack those statements for me?”
“No more guilt — Jesus died for my sins, my sins have been washed away, or to use another expression I'm told is in the Bible, I've feel like I've been born again, the old is gone, the new is here. I feel remorse, of course, for the stupid things I did, but guilt: that sense of condemnation that I deserve to rot in hell for what I did, that's gone.”
“I'm sure my Sunday-school teacher would be glad to hear you say it, if she were still alive. But are you speaking of personal experience or of a warm theological glow of having found what seems like the right answer?”
“Personal experience, Maam, and certainty that the right answer has found me.”
“Loneliness?”
“Maam, I assume there is a person or people behind the mirrored glass. They can hear me?”
“Yes.”
“Would you trust them with a state secret?”
“If they had a need to know, of course.”
“Would you trust them to be able to spend from your bank account and read your diary?”
“Ahh, now that's a little more, mmm, personal isn't it? Probably. Why this change of track?”
“In order to answer your question, I need to tell you a personal secret, that only a few people know. I wish to be full and frank with you, but I would like to be reassured that what I say will go no further.”
“You can trust them, Vivian.”
Vivian felt that a demonstration was the best way to forestall arguments, she closed her eyes and focussed on the floor of the next door room.
"Opening her eyes she gave a respectful nod towards the mirror and said, “I am honoured that all three of the triumvirate are witnesses to my debriefing.
"At the moment, there are fifty-seven of us with this gift. I can contact any of them as easily as I'm speaking to you, Maam. With a little more effort I can talk to anyone with the thought-hearing power. My natural thought-hearing power I place at the disposal of the civil service, within the limits of the ethics code which I signed on Monday. The gift that God has given me, I must only use as seems good to my conscience and the consciences of the others who share it.”
Her interviewer, Helen Pew, paused in thought a while and said “That is quite a claim. You could have picked it up from my thoughts, though, couldn't you, when you asked about my diary?”
“It is possible, I know, to listen intently to all decisions taken, not just those that directly affect me. It isn't something I've done more than a couple of times, it gives me a headache to try. So no, I didn't hear what you decided about trusting them. It hadn't occurred to me that would taint my little demonstration. I could give another demonstration if you like. You're reasonably familiar with the abilities I'm claiming?”
“I've listened to Bob McDaniel's report, yes.”
“I think the easiest thing, without invading anyone's privacy, would be to ask someone to send some kind of code word. Would that suffice?”
“What is the range of your thought hearing?” asked one of the invisible listeners.
“About three metres in air.”
“So, if I were to ask you to tell me about a relevant class delta state secret, what would you say?” the disembodied voice asked.
“A class delta you say? I'd say that I'd much rather look into your mind to learn about a less significant fact.”
“You know of another state secret?” he asked.
“I think the correct answer to that, sir, is that at present I can neither confirm nor deny that.”
“Well said.” Helen said. “What were you digging at, Ashley?”
“A rumour, Helen, which I believe I'd like confirmed or denied, but not exposed without proper authority. It occurs to me that if Vivian has the gift she claims it would not be hard for her to confirm or deny and to seek that authority if there is truth in the rumour.”
“Does asking me to check into this rumour not put you the difficult position of potentially revealing a class delta state secret to me?” Vivian asked.
“I'm sure you could find it out anyway, assuming you have the gift.” He said.
“Yes, but you're deliberately revealing it. I feel there's a difference there, I don't know about your peers, sir.”
“Well, you are Auditing, Vivian. I think we can trust you.”
“Might I seek advice?”
“Of course.”
Vivian knew who she wanted to call. [Eliza, are you free? I need help.]
[Hi, Vivian, what's up?]
[I'm not entirely sure what's going on. I'm being interviewed as a result of what I wrote. For some reason I've got the attention of the entire triumvirate of Auditing — one interviewing me and the other two listening in. I decided I ought to tell them that I have the gift, and then rather goofed my demonstration and it seems they want another one.]
[OK. And they're asking something unethical?]
[I don't know. One — Ashley Neville — has heard a rumour about a class delta state secret, and would like it confirmed or denied. He says if the rumour is true then I can seek authority to pass it to the triumvirate. He expects me to lift it from his mind, but that puts him in the position of sharing something that may or may not be a class delta state secret, and then me telling him it's true which seems even more suspect.]
[Well! That does sound confusing, doesn't it. I only know one class delta, and you might need to know about him sometime. Hold on a moment.] Vivian waited. [OK, Albert says of course you can know about him having the power.]
[That is a very convenient arrangement. No wonder you two are so sure of each other.]
[It certainly helped us do lots of chatting when I was in witness protection. He also says that if the triumvirate can come up with a reasonable sounding need to know then of course they can know too, they ought to have just asked him. But feel free to ask him if you've any doubt that it's reasonable. He also says that if someone trusts you to look into their mind, then you've got clearance from God to do that, so don't worry about legalities. I'd add that it's up to you how much detail you look at, and how deep you look. Unless you think there might be ulterior motives, you don't need to look at their deepest thoughts, heart is almost certainly deep enough, but even skin might be sufficient.]
[Thanks, Eliza!]
[Have a fun debrief. Oh, if their need to know seems good enough, then you can tell them about me too. If we can't trust the most trusted people in auditing, then we've got real problems.]
[Have you actually checked they are trustworthy?]
[Urm, no.]
[But you don't think it's wrong of me to be suspicious?]
[I just feel sorry that you've told people about your gift if they turn out not to be.]
[Well, before I tell them anything else, I think I'll check.]
[Good idea, Vivian. Thank you.]
Vivian returned to reality and checked the building for untrustworthy people.
There were two, she zoomed in. One was in the kitchen, a cook, she guessed. The other was in another interview room, being interviewed.
“I've received some help,” Vivian said, “but for the record, there are two untrustworthy people in the building. One is being interviewed three rooms away, and the other is in the kitchen.”
“Untrustworthy in what sense? As in we might get burned rice?”
“Not fit to be told, or overhear, state secrets.”
“Well, we knew about the interviewee. Can you tell us more about the one in the kitchen?”
Vivian took a breath to think about it “I'm not sure I should. I can't present any hard evidence, after all. The reason I was checking was so I'd know that I'm not doing anything silly in confirming or denying state secrets. Mr Neville, if you're sure you want me knowing what you're thinking of, can think of this rumour and your need to know, please?”
“I'm sure.” he said, and she focussed on him and relaxed her grip on this world. Over the past decade, he'd heard several people say there was a rumour that there was a class delta state secret involving prince Albert but not what it was. Naturally he'd given orders that it be squashed, pointing out that passing on that sort of rumour was in itself breaking the law. But did they need to investigate its source? His private opinion now was that the only thing that would warrant a class delta was if the prince had the power or the gift. Earlier, he'd wondered if it was that he was illegitimate or something like that, but that seemed very unlikely. They couldn't investigate every rumour, no matter how significant. How did they know whether to investigate a rumour without knowing it was true or not? Especially since responding to it raised its profile. The triumvirate knew most state secrets, but they didn't know this one if there was one, and if they didn't know it, then protecting it was very difficult. There weren't any other motives other than his desire to do his duty.
[Your highness, I'm Vivian, Eliza said I could contact you.]
Gingerly Vivian focussed on prince Albert's skin.
[Hello Vivian, I take it there's a tricky need to know?]
[Well, I think its tricky.] She explained the thoughts going around Mr Neville's mind, censoring the other options.
[In other words, he feels like he does need to know, so he can respond correctly. It sounds reasonable, don't you think?]
[Yes, but do you think this a sufficiently valid reason that I should tell of Eliza's gift, also? She said I should if the reason was good. I did check - they're trustworthy.]
[Not many know of Eliza's gift. With me growing up in the palace, there's probably a few hundred that know about my power. But yes, it'd be very significant if they heard anything. Tell them. Tell them that Maria and Tasha also know.]
[They're going to feel left out!] Vivian thought.
[Apologise from me. It didn't occur to us that they might have a need to know.]
[I will.]
[Oh, for the record you can also tell them that my grandfather had the power, that one's only class alpha.]
[I will sir.]
“Maam, Dr Edgars, Mr Neville, I wonder where the best place might be to share three state secrets with you? For all that the only untrustworthy people around are the two I've mentioned, I'm a little concerned about microphones that might have recorders attached to them.”
“That's a legitimate concern, yes.” Helen agreed. “Three class delta state secrets?”
“No, maam. Only one is class delta.”
“That's a relief.” Helen said.
Vivian smiled at the thought that knowing one was a class epsilon probably wouldn't be so relieving.
“Something funny?”
“I'll share the joke later, Maam.”
“The rumour I heard then, has substance behind it?” Mr Neville asked.
“The actual rumour is correct, yes, sir. Since you thought of several explanations, I can't say yes or no.”
“Helen, why don't we move to another location?” Dick Edgars asked, “I don't know if there's much point in us occupying an interview room, in the circumstances, and as Vivian says, there are microphones here.”
“OK, then let me terminate this properly, then we'll move to an office. Vivian, thank you for your... brutally honest report. We were aware that there were some aspects of your previous belief system that were dangerous, and you've made us aware of other things that are quite frankly scary.
Your report into the incident with your vehicle is also concerning and is something we need to think deeply on, and probably reopen some old files. We can't exclude people based on their religion, but we can certainly warn them and we'll probably have more questions later on if that's acceptable to you.”
“It is.”
“I don't know if it'll be a relief to you, but you were the only self-proclaimed witch in Auditing, and of course we were keeping tabs on your work. But then we do that on everyone.”
“Of course.” Vivian smiled, “We are a suspicious organisation.”
Helen looked pained. “We're not a suspicious organisation, Vivian, that makes us sound like people should suspect us. As the guardians of civic trust, we can't be as trusting as we'd like to be. Right, Vivian, pick an office:
mine, Ashley's or Dick's.”
“I have no basis to choose, maam.”
“And therefore no ulterior motive, whereas each of us might, so you choosing adds a random element.”
“Then I'll select Mr Neville's.”
“Why?” Helen asked.
“It was only Dr Edgars who actually suggested we move, you restricted the choice to one of your offices.” she shrugged “Very slight automatic suspicion on each, and I know that Mr Neville has no reason for wanting to know beyond desiring to serve. I also know you're trustworthy too, but I've go to pick one.”
“It's nothing to do with me being rumoured to have the best views and most comfortable seats then? Oh well.”
“That rumour is something Ashley has been seeking to plant for the past three years, by the way, Vivian.” Dr Edgars said “Everyone knows I have the better views and Helen has the most comfortable seats.”
Helen shook her head. “You're only going to convince her that you're both daft, Dick. Let's go I want to find out why she smiled.”
“I think I might be able to guess.” Dr Edgars said.
They reached the office on the top floor, and Vivian saw why Helen said they were daft. There was one door. On it the words “No secrets between equals,” and behind it, there was a single office.
“The triumvirate works as a team, Vivian. It always has, and always will. Anything else leads to suspicion and distrust. It's not something we publicise widely, though.”
“But when I saw you in the interview room, I might have known that the other two were behind the glass.”
“Exactly.”
“So my little demonstration was totally rubbish.” Vivian said.
“Yes, sorry.”
“And now I'm going to tell you something I might just be making up, so that's not a great demonstration either.”
“That's true, except you did look at my thoughts.” Ashley Neville said.
“Yes, sir, but you've been leaking. Making rather too many decisions concerning what I'm going to tell you on the way up. I heard you decide that you were sure I'd smiled because I was going to tell you there was a class epsilon secret, as well as the class delta one about prince Albert, Dr Edgars has just decided I said that to spoil his guess, sorry, that's not true. But Dr Edgars has also just decided not to think about Eliza Underwood near me, too late Dr., you just did it. Ms Pew is doing very very well in avoiding decisions, except that she's going to enjoy the fun.”
“We need to practice our mental discipline, don't we?” Dr Edgars said.
“Yes, sir. So, not holding you in suspense any more, I smiled because, Ms Pew, you were relieved that there was only one class delta: Prince Albert has the power, but as has been guessed, there's a bigger secret, class epsilon, Eliza Underwood has the gift. There's also a class alpha, which I knew before today: the King's father had the power too. I knew it because Eliza Underwood told me some weeks ago, but I only found out it was her on Monday. Oh, the other thing I have to tell you is that these state secrets are all known to Maria and Tasha, and prince Albert sends his apologies for not realizing you might have need to know.”
“Why were you were told about the King's father?”
“It was intended as reassurance, that the royal family weren't going to approve anything that would get thought-hearers persecuted. Eliza contacted all the people with the power in Security, by Royal command. She asked if I'd be willing to let my name be known as someone with the power, meet others in Security, and make sure we all know some of the not-immediately obvious bits of using our power.”
“And you said yes, I presume?” Helen asked.
“We all did, actually. We must trust our government.”
Dick peered intently at her, “And this meeting is going to happen soon?”
He didn't see any reaction at all.
“Now, I'm not sure if you need to know that, sir.”
“Or if it's already happened, either.” he asked, still watching her face. He saw a twitch of irritation, nothing else. She was good. Very good.
“Their majesties know the date sir, but not the invitation list. Their stated intent is that as few people know anything about that meeting as possible. I probably shouldn't have even mentioned it.”
“Very well, young lady. We'll let you thought-hearers keep your secrets.”
“Thank-you sir.”
“I'd like to compliment you, you have very good facial control, what they used to call a poker face.”
“You didn't see my deliberate twitch of irritation then?”
“It was deliberate?” he asked.
“Honestly, I'm not sure. I certainly didn't bother suppressing it. I could have.”
“You've practiced then, a long time?”
“I joined the coven when I was fourteen. I don't know about elsewhere, but it was a skill that I had to master before initiation into the second grade. I was almost ready to try for the fifth grade. I thank God I didn't.” she didn't try to hide her horror at that thought.
“You could teach others?” Helen asked.
“I did, but I'll need to think about how to adapt the training techniques.”
“How long did it take you to learn?” Dick probed, clearly fascinated..
“I was a fast learner; a few months. Some people never learned well enough.”
“So what happened to them?”
“They were wise: they didn't try to progress to the second level.”
“If they had tried?”
“The coven isn't about try try again. It's about pride. Pride in the coven pride in yourself. They'd have had an accident, I expect. I'd heard of it happening.”
“You state your neighbour is in the coven.”
“Yes, she is. So far I've avoided her. That's... not unexpected. She recruited me, but I went further than she did. More powerful, more stupid, depending on how you look at it.”
“The obvious thing is for us to move you. You're on foreign assignment soon anyway, aren't you?” Helen asked.
“Yes.” Vivian confirmed, needlessly.
“So, were you thinking of selling your house?”
“I don't know. It's not exactly the best time to sell. And who'd buy it, knowing the neighbour is a practicing witch?”
“Well, let's put that to one side anyway. Would you like us to, say, assign you to the capital for a bit? It would be sensible anyway to give you a wider experience.”
“That sounds wonderful.”
“Great. Now, we're still playing catch-up with the Roland Underwood-related cases, so that's the obvious place for you to work. Are you up to a big challenge?” Helen asked.
“What sort of challenge?” Vivian didn't really like the sound of that.
“Mr arch-manipulator himself. We'd love to get a complete list of people he's corrupted. I think, given what you've written about here, you're not going to be too fazed by his past. I know it's different, but... there are enough similarities I think that you're not going to be terrified by his callous attitude to life. And with you having the power, he might reveal more to you than others.”
“You'd like me to play the arrogant thought-hearer?”
“I don't know about your ethical stand point on this, but if you'd be prepared to gloss over your recent change of faith...”
“I'm not going to claim allegiance to demons, deny Jesus, or perform any magic.”
Helen shook her head. “No, we won't ask you to. We've reason to believe, quite strong reason to believe, that he's faked his mental illness, that it's all a plan to escape justice. Maria tells us that he's always been lousy at improvising, but meticulous at long range planning. So, if you go in with the attitude that he had interesting plans but he botched them, you're going to take over while he's locked up, dominate him, tell him his faked instability is an amateur trick, he's lost his power but you haven't, so shouldn't he be bowing and scraping at your feet? That you want names, levers, details, so you can do it properly...”
“He might crack, yes.” Dr Edgars agreed.
----------------------------------------
WED 3RD JAN, 5PM
“I think we can call this progress of sorts.” Albert said.
“Really?” Eliza asked “I thought it counted as a victory for the bad guys; poor Bob and Albert!”
“But on the other hand, we've got a wide section of the press up in arms, worldwide, saying that that what happened to Bob and Albert is absolutely shocking, NWN's owners are under investigation in a few other countries as well as ours, our ambassadors are finally getting listened to, and reportedly the storm over father's speech has ground to a complete stop. As, interestingly enough, have the remarks about having dreams they'd like to tell us.”
“Why do you think that's happened?”
“I guess people have decided that my father's not the gullible fool they had been taking him for.”
“Have you checked for that follow up article by... what was her name, Catherine the ungrateful?”
“Yes, I have. In general I'd say it was a very well researched article, about why Dad's speech was entirely constitutional in all respects. I particularly liked her reply to the attacks from abroad.”
“Oh, what did she say?”
“Roughly speaking 'Just because your constitution isn't robust enough to let your leaders have freedom of speech and belief, don't go imposing your anxieties on the rest of us, thanks.' Anyway, both he and she check out OK, and you've just reminded me that I was supposed to invite them to the palace for that discussion of God and politics. Would you care to invite her while I invite him?”
“What, just ring them up?”
“Amazingly enough, Security were able to tell me their phone numbers. Here.”
He forwarded the contact details. “Her real name's Catherine Parr, apparently.”
“Interesting name for a republican, I wonder if she got teased a lot at school. I've never invited anyone to the palace before. Anything I need to know?”
“Well, you need to know that Dad suggests Friday, as in day-after-tomorrow, at 6pm. Also, she's very likely to not believe a word you say.”
“So, how do I convince her?”
“Tell her she can check by contacting the palace switchboard and verifying that she's on the invitation list for Friday. She is, I've done that bit.”
“That simple?”
“Yes.”
“OK, I'll give it a go.”
Eliza rang the number, choosing to include her picture too.
“Hello, Catherine Parr? Eliza Underwood here.”
“Very funny. You look right, and you've got the voice, but who is this?”
“It's Eliza Underwood. In answer to your question about what self-respecting person from the palace would read four of five pages deep into the comment pages, that would be Albert, though I must admit his mother was egging him on at breakfast yesterday. Anyway, are you free at six, on Friday night? This is your invitation to the palace. You don't have to put on your best frock, even, but I suppose you did promise Dan.”
“Who is this?”
“You can check it's really me by ringing the palace switch-board. Albert says they're used to people not believing they've been invited. Dan's also going to get an invitation just as soon as I finish talking to you.”
“Hold on, you're telling me you're really Eliza Underwood?”
“Yes, that's right, Catherine.”
“How did you get this number?”
“Security gave it to Albert once they'd decided you were safe to invite. Apparently they get nervous if we just invite anyone for a meal and constitutional and theological discussions.”
“This is insane...”
“Oh, I don't know. Albert's apparently a regular reader, and yours was the only national paper discussing his dad's speech yesterday morning. Everyone else was being leant on, it seems. So Albert read Dan's article.”
“No, no, no. You're trying to tell me that prince Albert regularly reads our articles?”
“I'm not saying he agrees with them, but he likes a good debate. His majesty too. Inviting you was his idea by the way.”
“So we're to be entertainment for the evening, is that it?” Catherine asked in a dangerous voice.
“No. Not in that way. They're not inviting you to laugh at you. Look, you and Dan both made mention of getting an invitation to the palace, you even set it as a condition for a date. So, their majesties thought maybe you'd like a surprise. They're happy to talk about faith, which Dan mentioned, and constitutional issues if you like.”
“Do you have any idea what an invitation to the palace would mean to me?”
“Not really, except that you set it as a condition for a date.”
“It was supposed to be an unattainable goal.”
“Dan's that repellent?”
“No. Quite charming, actually. I just once challenged God that I'd listen to him when I got an invitation to go to the palace with prince charming. I guess Dan qualifies, I've certainly been calling him that in a sarcastic way, around the office.”
“Oh, well. God was listening, wasn't he?”
“I wish you Christians wouldn't say things like that. And I wish I hadn't just opened my mouth and told you that.”
“I'll try and pretend you didn't. See you on Friday?”
“I'm babysitting, for my sister's kids. I'm the babysitter of last resort.”
“Ah. That comes under the heading of tricky, doesn't it? How old are the kids?”
“Boy of twelve and girl of fourteen.”
[Albert, she's babysitting, twelve year old nephew and fourteen year old niece.]
“I'd rather cook more than have it another time.”
“Hold on a moment, Catherine.” Eliza said, then asked Albert “You're sure?”
“It's just going to be spaghetti bolognese. There's room at the table. Maybe we can get Nigel and Eliza to give them a tour, teach them some archery or something.”
“Did you hear that, Catherine? Albert's happy to cook for them too — it's going to be spaghetti bolognese apparently — assuming you can get parental permission for them to come. Albert also suggests that his bodyguard might give them a tour with his girlfriend. Bodyguard's girlfriend is an expert at archery if you really want your sister to panic.”
[They could play with my old toy cars if their mum prefers. I assume they're around somewhere.]
“Prince Albert is going to cook me spag. bol. and thinks his bodyguard's girlfriend might teach my niece and nephew how to shoot with a bow and arrow?” Cathrine's sense of the ridiculous was beginning to assert itself.
“Well, the bodyguard is into reenacting too, but I doubt that he's got a broadsword light enough for them to wield safely.”
“I'll talk to my sister. But not before I've spoken to the switchboard. This is too weird.”
“That's fine. Albert says his old toy cars should be around somewhere, if she'd prefer a safer option.”
“And he's really going to cook spaghetti?”
“Is that a problem?”
“Just, I guess I imagined a dozen cooks preparing a massive feast.”
“Sorry, that's special occasions only. This is just an evening meal with the family and invitees.”
“You're trying to corrupt me, aren't you?”
“Pardon?”
“You're trying to break down my prejudices, and convince me that the royal family try to live like normal people.”
“Oh that. Yeah, I was a bit surprised to see the king doing the washing up too, the first few times. I'll let you open the debate about whether that's a good use of his time or not if you like.”
“And prince Albert's about to invite Dan?”
“Yes.”
“Oh, how I'd love to listen to that conversation.”
“Are you both at the office? I'm sure Albert can wait a while if you want him to.”
“Office? That's Dan's spare room, but I'm not far away. Can you ask him to give me about ten, fifteen minutes, please? I'll talk to my sister and go over.”
“Sure. Not to mention the switch-board.”
“Some things just go without saying.”
----------------------------------------
“Hi, Dan!” Catherine said as he opened the door.
Catherine was looking beautiful as always, but somehow... excited, too.
“Hi! Come in. What's up? I thought you'd finished for the day.”
“Oh, a few things. I've had an idea, I've got a demand, I've got a question, and I've also got another reason that I wanted to be here in person, but we'll get to that later.”
As she took her coat off, he realised that she'd changed out of her normal jeans and pullover and had put on a dress. A rather attractive dress. She looked stunning, and she probably knew it. It was a form of torture, he was sure.
“Just for the record, you look stunning, and I really wish you'd accept a date. What's the demand? Asking for raise when dressed like that is just plain unfair.”
“Oooh, you're putty in my hands are you?”
“I wish. I'm putty, but where are your hands?”
“So, do you like my dress?” She twirled.
“Catherine, I think I've made it quite clear, over the past year, that I like you a lot. You're fun to be with, you're gorgeous, and we get on well. Why won't you let me take you out? Every time I ask you out, you say something like 'not yet', or 'it's not the right time', or 'patience is a virtue.'. When is the right time going to be?”
“Not before you've told me what you think of my dress.”
“It's beautiful. Will you go out with me?”
“Don't rush me, Dan. I've set conditions, remember?”
“You're a cruel young woman, Catherine. If you don't like me then just stop leading me on, please. And just answer me one question, just how am I supposed to get you an invitation to the palace?”
“Good journalism. You know the reader logs show that someone in the palace is reading our articles.”
“Oh, yes, and I'm sure that someone from security checking up on us is going to get us invited there. It's impossible!”
“All right, Dan, if you can't come good on that challenge then I'll issue another one.”
“Thank you. What?”
“I'll think about it. Now, my demands.”
“Yes? They're plural now?”
“Number one: Friday night, day after tomorrow. Whatever plans you have, they're cancelled.”
“I have no choice?”
“None at all. Not if you want to stay in my good books.”
“Good job I don't have any then. What am I doing instead of non-existant plans?”
“That's wonderful.” she said, ignoring his question. “Demand number two. This is more philosophical. I demand that you think about one or both of us changing our minds about republicanism or about religion. Blame the king's speech, if you like. She became a Christian, he went atheist. They stayed together. You've written that you don't want the king's job. I'm not actually sure that anyone sane would. So, what I want from you is some serious thought about what would happen to trivial things like employment and more important things like our friendship if we didn't agree on quite so many things.”
“I'm glad you think our friendship's important, Catherine.”
“Of course it's important, you've just asked me out again, and I haven't said no, again.”
“Why don't you just say yes instead then?”
“Initially it was because of things like age gaps, and nasty little questions in my mind about how come you're still single, that sort of thing. I now know the answer to the second — you don't socialise much in person, do you? It's mostly books and chat-sites, isn't it?”
“Do I say no or yes? No, I don't get out much.”
“In point of fact, I'm the only woman you've spent significant time with since university, aren't I?”
“Yes. Why should I want to spend time with another woman?”
“I think it's called shopping around, learning what you like.”
“I know who I like, Catherine. You. I can't imagine marrying anyone but you.”
“And there I was thinking this was all about a single date.”
“Really?” Dan was taken aback.
“Not really, but that's all you've said until now. Clarity of thought and precision of language, remember?”
Dan swallowed. “OK, being precise.” he gulped again “Catherine, I'm pretty sure I'd be very happy to ask you to marry me, but that normally starts with going on some dates. And some dates start with one. Will you please consider a first date with me, and unless something goes wrong a second and so on?”
His phone rang before she could answer. “Bother, I guess I'd better answer that.”
“Yes, you had. Don't worry, I'll wait.”
Dan picked up the call, “Hello, New Republican Post, Dan Wyatt speaking.” It was a voice only call.
“Hello, Mr Wyatt, prince Albert here. My parents really appreciated your article yesterday and my father's decided to take you up on your offer to listen politely about God.”
“Oh, very funny. Who is this?”
“Why does no one ever believe me? Mr Wyatt, you can verify this call by ringing the palace switchboard and confirming that you're on the invitation list for Friday night.” Albert said.
“Friday night?” he looked accusingly at Catherine.
“Yes, reception are expecting you, Miss Parr and her niece and nephew at six o'clock.”
“Her niece and nephew?”
“I'm babysitting,” Catherine offered, “the kids got invited too.”
“What sort of wind-up is this? Who is this?” Dan demanded.
“It's genuine,” Catherine said, “entirely genuine.”
“Catherine, don't do this to me, it's not funny.”
“I think you've got yourself a date, Mr Wyatt.” Albert said “You've certainly got her the invitation to the palace that she demanded from you. In case you're wondering, dress code is entirely up to you, but I understand that it's generally wiser to ask the lady you're accompanying. Do you have any questions about arrangements? Reasonable travel expenses can be reimbursed.”
“Urm, no no questions.”
“Well, I'll see you on Friday, then.”
“Who is this? You've got the prince's accent down very well.”
“Check with the palace switchboard, Mr Wyatt, I'm who I said I am.”
“Excuse me, your Highness?” Catherine interrupted.
“Albert, please. Yes, Miss Parr?”
“If you're Albert, I'd better be Catherine. If you could arrange for an archery lesson, my niece and nephew would love it.”
“OK. I'll ask Eliza.”
“Your fiancée?” Catherine was confused.
“No, the woman in Security who used to pretend to be a red-head, in the interests of confusing the press.”
“Oh! OK.”
Dan looked at Catherine, dressed in what he guessed was her best frock.
“Not a wind-up?” he whispered.
She shook her head.
“One question your highness. Would we be permitted to write up our visit?”
“Very good question. I'm fairly sure the answer is yes, but there might be some aspects you'll need to skip over. I expect someone from Security will get in touch directly, I'd guess tomorrow. Have a good evening.”
“You too, sir.” He turned to Catherine and waved his finger at her “You knew.”
“I'm in my best frock.”
“And you put it on just for me?”
“I did. It occurred to me that you've got me the invitation, and Friday isn't going to be much of a date, is it? Not with us having a pair of chaperones. So yes, Dan.”
“Yes what?”
“You asked me out for a date, remember? Where are we going?”
“What? Now?”
“I'll let you get changed. Unless you've changed your mind?”
“Catherine, if this does turn out to be a great big leg-pull...”
“Yes?”
“I still love you.”
“Shhh... don't say that, Dan.” she advised.
“Why not? It's true.”
“Because it is much too early.”
“Oh, I need to wait until ten o'clock or maybe midnight?”
“Oh, you! Go and get changed into something presentable. And work out where you'd like to take me.”
“What was your idea, by the way?”
“We write up Friday night, but you got there too.”
“We do think alike.”
“That's just basic journalistic instinct.”
“Hmm. Basic male instinct says I shouldn't let you out of my sight, or I might wake up from this dream.”
“That's all it says?”
“No. It also says things like I should be kissing you, holding you tight and not letting you go, not to mention lifting you up, and spinning you round, and generally expressing my joy that you've said yes.” He censored the rest.
“Well I think protocol says you don't get to kiss me until the end of the date, and then only if you've been good. As for the rest, you'd better keep yourself under control, because that sort of behaviour is only going to make people stare.”
“Not if we find somewhere to go dancing.”
“Can you dance?”
“Not really.”
“Then we'd better sign up for dance classes if you want to go dancing, because I know I can't dance.”
“Something else we've got in common.”
“Well, yes, I expect there's lots of things neither of us can do. I mean, I presume you can't fly by flapping your arms? I can't either. Go on, get changed. We're wasting time.”
“Your wish is my command.”