Book 2: Community
BOOK 2: COMMUNITY / CH. 1:MARIA
MONDAY MORNING, 17TH JULY
“... So, that's what we learned from Mama Ng,” concluded Sarah.
“And Karen knows?” Kate asked.
“Yes, Kate, we told her on Saturday. Did her clearance really come through that quickly?” John asked.
“Urm, yes. When I sent through the form, they immediately sent it back with ‘approved’ all over it. They also sent back a short biography of her. Not for dissemination outside the Institute.”
She showed them the file.
“Ooh, ‘my parents work abroad’ indeed, no wonder she recognised the security system. Ambassadors' daughters ought to be aware of such things.”
“So she's allowed to work here?”
“Yes, except... They're not sure that she's allowed to be spotted by some of our foreign clients. So they've specified that she stay in the lab as much as possible, and not hang about in corridors when there's any chance that representatives of certain foreign powers are around. That's where she is now.”
“But she was allowed to go to the university without restriction? Not to mention get lost down a tunnel.”
“Well, high level dignitaries don't normally roam university campuses, so that was considered safe. But as for the tunnel, that's a very interesting thing. She shouldn't have been using that program at all. It's entirely probable the program was compromised, giving life-threatening suggestions like that. She should have been directed to us in the first place, with her security status. So, right now our security friends are taking a very great interest in whoever's been fiddling with the university's medical AI. They think the whole set-up could have been some sort of an assassination or kidnap attempt. You know the map she had came from the computer too? Complete with a suggested route?”
“No! That's scary. But she didn't take it?”
“No, she at least had that much innate paranoia.”
“So, apart from retrospectively scaring her parents, and I presume having had the benefit of a long lecture from them and from security, how is she doing? And has she told her parents about her gift?”
“Yes, she's told them. We're going to have a visit from mum later this afternoon.”
“Oooh. So is she ‘Your excellency,’ ‘Maam,’ or ‘Your ladyship'?” Sarah asked.
----------------------------------------
“Mummy!” Karen called and hobbled to the official transport on her crutches, embracing her mother as soon as she got out. She forgot about the crutches and they hit the door with some force. “Oops! I didn't I dent it, did I? Probably not since I'm sure it's armoured. Come on inside, Mummy, do you like the flowerbeds? I know you'll like the front door, it's just like at home. Actually I think the same architect built this whole place. It's from the same era anyway. The labs where I'm starting to work are that way, I'll introduce you to Ivan later. He's a real live mad scientist. Well, not mad actually, that's just an act he puts on, complete with the fake vats of bubbling stuff. Quite convincing, but he's just shy really. It's a very well equipped lab of course and they're working on stuff that people used to say couldn't be done. It's great fun. But anyway, let me introduce you to the people who heard me crying for help. This is Kate Burnett, director here, John Williams, psycho-counsellor, and Sarah Smith (soon to be Williams) who's the computer systems expert and the first confirmed mind-reader the Institute’s ever found. John was number two because Sarah prayed that it wouldn't drive them apart. Kate became number three when she became a Christian, and I'm number four.”
“Hello. Thank you so much for rescuing my daughter. Please do call me Maria, you don't mind first name terms?”
“No, no, we're not formal here except when people want it,” Kate said.
“Karen, I'm very very pleased to see you're OK, but I'm sure you could have let me get a word in edgewise somewhere since I got out of the car?”
“Sorry, mummy. Did you have a nice flight?”
“Which part of this do you think helped that most, dear? Hearing that you'd almost got yourself assassinated, kidnapped, or starved to death down an abandoned tunnel, or that somehow you'd become a figure from legend or horror movies?”
“I'm sorry, Mummy. I was stupid to listen to the university AI. I should have checked up on what it said better. And as for that computer counsellor...”
“What did it say, dear? I must say I'm confused why you were talking to a computer counsellor at all.”
“The medical computer said that the last human psycho-counsellor had retired last year, and that all new cases with my clearance codes were being routed into a special high security A.I. I was surprised, so I looked up human psycho-counsellors on my wrist unit and it confirmed the story about retirement. I should have realised that the query would end up at the same database. I should have checked from outside the campus, or spoken with someone from security, but I don't know, it just sounded so plausible.”
“If the medical A.I. was reporting correctly,” Sarah said “and I must say it's a lot easier to poison a database like that than it is to corrupt a running A.I., then it might not have been specifically targeted at Karen. But you've passed this on to security?”
“Yes, it was them who pointed out my wrist unit would look for the nearest database.”
“Can't they be made to only query trusted sources?” John asked.
“Yes, but how does Karen query university information if the university's not a trusted source?”
“Ouch,” John said.
“You can do it,” Maria said. “You tell it to query things in a specific order, most trusted first, rather than closest first, but it means you end up querying official servers for details of your friend's party. They get annoyed about that sort of thing. So I have two units, one set up for closest first, the other set up for secure queries.”
“There must be a better way. A wrist unit's not the most configurable thing in the world, but surely there are some which can flip between two settings?” Sarah asked.
“I've never heard of one,” Maria declared.
“If they really don't exist then I'm going to work with a jeweller friend of mine to make one. It can't be hard, the design is so standardised, and it's hardly fusion science to choose between configuration sets. Much easier than Kate's ring for example.”
“Kate's ring?”
“I got engaged on Saturday. My fiancé asked Sarah about rings — jewellery’s in her blood — and she designed this.”
“It's beautiful, and congratulations, but...”
“It includes a panic button just in case, and we persuaded a local data-crystal manufacturer to try their processes on gem diamonds rather than the artificial diamond sliver that makes a normal I.D. crystal. OK it's ridiculous to use a real gem in terms of data storage, but as a wearable I.D, it makes just as much sense as my ring here, and is much more fitting for an engagement ring.”
Maria made a connection. “I should have realised. Sarah Smith as in Maggie and Joshua?” Sarah nodded. “I'm so sorry you lost your parents in the mall attack. I knew them. Your father made my I.D ring here. Snap.”
“I thought you looked familiar. You and mummy were friends.”
“Distant relations actually. Your mother was my second cousin. I never could remember your father's surname, I'm sorry.”
Another memory stirred, and Sarah realised where her idea for gloves had come from. “And you wore gloves then too, I remember, I always thought they were very elegant. Maria, did you know Mama Ng?”
“You know her? You said ‘did'?”
“I'm afraid she died on Saturday.”
“She was a very great lady, I'd been hoping...”
“That now your daughter has the power and the gift, Mama could help her learn?”
“Yes. Karen was already a target, but now? I don't have the power, but I know of it. My brother, you realise, is the black sheep of the family. If he finds out about her having the power, she's in even more risk.”
“But he's been stripped of his power, Mama told us.”
“Making him twice as malicious.”
“Mummy, you've never even mentioned having a brother!”
“I wish I didn't have one, Karen. He's an evil man. Thank God that he didn't find you. Thank God that his power is gone. He's been out of prison for barely six months and even with your false surname at the university, he's found you. Either he's managed to pervert every university in the country, or somehow he guessed you'd come here, or we've got a mole. But once you accessed his trap — I'm sure it was his by the way — he'll have found you.”
“Mummy, you're scaring me.”
“Good. Scared is safer. I presume the program you were tricked into talking to wanted your I.D.”
“Yes, Mummy. And an iris scan.”
“OK, the guys from security will have flagged it as probably stolen, but let's make it definite. Then they will check whoever tries to use it, not just monitor activity on it. Of course if that system was hacked enough to steal your biometrics too, that's going to be unpleasant. Oh, let's hope it hasn't happened.”
She tapped a code on her wrist unit. An alert was flashing.
She looked at Kate. “You must have a secure computer system. Is it up to embassy standard, like the entrance way? Security thinks someone's used Karen’s I.D. It'd be much easier to check on a proper display.”
“Yes, the computer's got that spec, maybe better actually, at least that's what the salesman said.”
“Wonderful. Then can you give me limited command access please? You'll need to confirm what I instruct it to do.”
[Is this safe, Sarah?] Kate asked.
[Yes, nothing she does goes anywhere without our say-so.]
“Sarah, please,” Kate requested.
“Voice too, or just keyboard, Maria?”
“Oh, voice if you have it, please, but I'll need a display. Is there one?” She looked around for one.
Sarah smiled. “Computer, inner wall display active. Full mirror windows, room lights to compensate. Authorise visitor in this room to limited command access, display, voice and keyboard.”
The wood panelling rolled aside to reveal the enormous display Sarah had seen on her second visit.
“Computer,” Maria commanded, “report status.”
“Security status alert level four. Possible threat to staff member identified. Fire alert status one.”
“Computer, full expand on security alert,” said Sarah, “expand on fire alert.”
“Security alert status four: Possible threat to staff member Karen. Threat type: uncertain, unconfirmed.
Threat source: uncertain.
Threat motive: uncertain.
Basis: recent conversation in this room.”
Maria raised her eyebrows in appreciation.
She hadn't met a computer that would decide there might be a threat based on a half understood conversation.
“Fire alert status one: staff member Horrace using soldering iron.”
Kate laughed and explained to Maria, “Horrace has a bad habit of leaving the soldering iron in silly places. I guess the computer thinks he's a fire risk even when he's holding it.”
“Clever A.I. OK, let's at least let the computer know some certainties, then I'll feel happier,” Maria said, then commanded,
“Computer classify primary threat motive to staff member Karen as long standing family feud. Classify primary threat source to staff member Karen as Roland Underwood alias Rodger Upton alias Roland Uppington-Smythe, other aliases unknown. Released from prison approximately six months ago. Relationship to staff member Karen: uncle. Relation to myself: brother. Staff member Karen is my daughter. Confirm.”
“Request authorisation,” the computer asked.
“I authorise,” Sarah confirmed.
“Security alert status five. Confirmed threat to staff member Karen. Roland Underwood barred access to facility. Known associates of Roland Underwood barred access to facility. Press reports accessed. Ten percent facial recognition false negative match. One percent facial recognition false positive match. Query existence of authorisation to access prisoner release records.”
“Clever computer,” murmured Maria. “Computer: authorisation available using my I.D. Ambassadorial code 43685.”
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“Query: staff member Karen's status is ambassadorial dependent?”
“Correct,” Maria answered.
“Adding secondary threat list from central database. Alert! Alert! Match on certain facility clients. None present in facility at present. Query action on presence.”
“Warn staff member Karen. Deny co-occupancy of corridors. Deny co-occupancy of rooms. Deny matching clients sight of staff member Karen. Override restrictions at risk to health of staff member Karen. Override restrictions at risk to life of matching clients. Confirm.”
“Request authorisation,” the computer asked.
[I see her concerns, and it's probably embassy normal,] Kate thought to Sarah, [but can't we at least get Karen out of the way if there's a client at risk, or due to leave? If they suddenly get locked in, they're going to get curious.]
[Sure, I've seen that option.] Sarah replied.
“Amendment. Deny matching clients all awareness of staff member Karen. Predict client movement. Warn staff member Karen of potential crossing point or intercept. Indicate best estimate of safe route for staff member Karen. Preference: no alteration in access to be perceived by matching clients. Confirm.”
“Matching clients will not see staff member Karen. Staff member Karen will be guided away from matching clients. If staff member Karen complies, matching client will not notice heightened security. If staff member Karen does not comply, matching clients will find doors blocked unexpectedly. Query: alert staff member Karen in case of risk to health of client?”
“Correct.”
“Security parameters updated.”
“I like it, good modification, Sarah,” Maria said. “Now that we've done that, let's check my message.”
“Computer, access security log on my wrist unit. Display most recent alert.”
“Request authorisation,” the computer asked.
“Permanent authorisation granted for visitor to access her wrist unit or other off-site data under own authorisation via facility computer.” Sarah said.
“Thank you, Sarah,” Maria said.
Her wrist unit asked for confirmation and once Maria had authorised the computer's request, the computer showed a list of events since Karen had spoken to the rogue program.
“So Karen, which of these do you recognise?” Maria asked.
“Well, yes, I went to the bookshop, bought that light and that food. Then I went home. So that's Thursday. On Friday there's nothing, except exit and entry which makes sense. I walked to the tunnel, got lost, got rescued, got this beautiful piece of fashionable leg wear. After that John and Sarah met me, fed me wonderful pizza, you definitly should accept it if you get the chance, Mummy. Then, on Saturday I talked to security an awful lot. Those are my statements yes, and then Sarah took me to Kate's house for the engagement party. Sunday looks good too, out to church, back home. Hey, what's this? I didn't go back home this morning!
“Computer, access my home security cameras. Playback 45 seconds before 10.18 entry.”
They saw a person approaching the house, glancing around to make sure he wasn't observed and getting a black object from his pocket. They guessed it was a man. His face was concealed with a hood. He presented one part of the box to the I.D scanner, the other to the retina scanner. It shouldn't have worked, but it clearly did. The door opened to him.
“Computer, switch view to camera two. Display all cameras with view of intruder.”
“Query: alert police?”
“Negative,” jumped in Maria before Karen could speak. “Alert ambassadorial security section. Flag as case Karen-university. Flag as suspected threat to life. Flag as I.D. theft confirmed. Flag as biometric theft. Attach address and access codes to house security system. Confirm.”
“Request authorisation,” was the computer's predictable response.
“Authorised,” Karen confirmed. “Computer, pause playback. Mummy, this means I can't do anything, doesn't it? I'm going to need a new I.D. I'm going to need to get my iris scan altered. He might have even got my fingerprints by now.”
“Yes, dear, he probably has, at least if they don't catch him soon. If they don't, then I'm afraid all you're going to have to identify you soon is your friends, family and DNA.”
“And since not many shops, or even banks for that matter are going to have DNA scanners, I'm going to need to drop back to pass-phrase entry.”
“If places will accept one without an accredited guarantor.”
“And any contacts I have are at risk too, if he's got into the house computer?”
“Of course, dear, but you had a pass-phrase on that, surely?”
“Yes. Let's hope he can't crack it.” Karen sounded depressed.
“Let's watch what he does, dear. That'll help us know if that's a risk.”
“Computer, resume playback.”
He nosed around the house. In some ways they found it amazing. He'd been watchful outside, but clearly had no concern about interior cameras.
“We've still not seen his face, but that can't be my brother. He's acting like he clearly hasn't had a thought of cameras.”
“So what's he doing? He's just taken a picture of my timetable, he's looking at my maps now. And that's the box the university gave us to keep course notes. I use it for my old coin collection. Oh, he's cross about that!”
“I think he's been sent to find out what you're studying, Karen.”
“There's something familiar about him, you know. If I didn't know better I'd say that was Arnold,”
“Arnold?”
“He's one of the soldiers who carried me out of the tunnel. Very moral guy, calls himself a Christian but doesn't like the word grace. Oh, and he's convinced that mind readers are the spawn of Satan.”
“Then he needs to be on the known risks list too, doesn't he?”
“Yes, he does,” admitted Sarah. “Well, he is, but the computer hasn't been able to find a picture of him.”
“He's a soldier, you say?”
“Yes, a sergeant at the local barracks,” Karen answered. “The last I heard, he was confined to quarters pending psychological evaluation. He rather exploded at Teresa for representing the Institute, and his C.O. overheard. Sorry, she's his sister.” she added.
“You're going to need to tell me more about this, Karen,” Maria sighed. “Computer, update any missing data in known threat list using ambassadorial dependant security code.”
“Automatic processing in progress. Query, downgrade to manual?”
“Negative,” said Sarah.
“What did that mean?” Kate asked. “I've been able to follow until now, but...”
“It means that your computer is more advanced than I expected, Kate,” Maria said. “We've told it about Karen's status, and it's been clever enough to realise that defending an ambassadorial dependant gives it access to more databases than it did before. When I told it how to do it's job, it threatened to sulk, well, asked if it had overstepped the mark actually.”
“Alert! Alert!” announced the computer. “Known threat person detected in staff member Karen's house.”
“Display.”
The security video they'd been watching skipped forward several minutes. The intruder was looking up towards the hidden camera. Karen's suspicion was right. It was indeed Arnold.
Beside the video came information that the computer had obviously just retrieved from the base's computer. His I.D. photo, age and so on, current status as confined to barracks but flagged as AWOL, unstable, possibly dangerous.”
“Oops,” Maria said. “Someone is in trouble. Someone may think they're in trouble now, but they don't know nothing yet.”
“Computer, resume play, twice times normal speed until present or intruder leaves,” Karen commanded.
They watched him continue to search the house, taking his time to look at every folder and box he could find. Then, after watching him do this for about five minutes they saw him look up as though startled. He picked up a chair, threw it at a window and dived through what he expected to be a hole. His head hit the rebounding chair and then the window. He sunk to the ground, stunned momentarily. Smartly dressed men entered the room and approached him. Arnold seemed to leap up, throwing the remnants of the chair at them, and got past them before they could stun him.
The camera view switched to see him fleeing the house. The picture went black.
“Idiots!” Maria cursed the men from security. “OK, so he's military and they were expecting a common thief, but really! They didn't even have their stunners out!”
“When did he escape?” John asked. “We should warn Teresa.”
“Urm, five minutes ago. He could have gone anywhere,” Sarah said.
“Computer, has identity of intruder been sent to security forces?” Kate asked.
“Affirmative.”
“John,” Kate decided, “good idea, at least warn Teresa. If she's not secure where she is now, tell her to come here.”
John did that and was just suggesting she call a transport when Maria grabbed his wrist and said, “No, wait, give me the address. I'll send someone from security to get you. I want to talk anyway.”
“If they don't mind, I'd feel safer,” Teresa replied.
“Don't mind?” Maria laughed. “They can mind if they want to, but it's not going to do them much good. Talk to you soon.”
She pressed some buttons on her own wrist unit.
“Yes, that's right, I've been doing your job for you. Who trained those incompetents? No, don't answer that, I'd have to reprimand them. Instead send someone to this address and collect a young woman named Teresa. Done that? Faster man, she's at risk. Her connection to my daughter has seriously upset her brother, who those two muppets have just let go. But I'm sure we'll trace the university thing back to my brother. Yes, that's right. Time off for good behaviour if you can believe that. No, of course I don't. No idea what the connection is, except that where my brother tries to be the embodiment of evil, Arnold thinks that’s what all mind-readers are like. Exactly. Oh, by the way, find out what the specification is for the A.I. they've got here at the Institute, and get the embassy spec. updated to include it. I don't care, maybe we can do a deal. It's making connections I didn't expect. When I gave it my embassy authorisation to it, it asked if Karen classed as an embassy dependant and updated its threat tables all by itself. And it's going to warn her how to lay low so that certain clients don't even notice there's extra protocols in place. Yes. Nor did I. So find the programmer and employ them, man. They should be working for us, at least part time. Oh, also tell procurement to contact my second cousin once removed, name of Sarah here. Just designed an engagement ring where the stone is a data-crystal. No, IS, not hides, I've had one of those for years. Gem diamond which is a data-crystal, I don't know the capacity, I'll ask. She's got other good ideas too.”
[Karen,] Sarah asked a few seconds into the one sided conversation, [do I get the impression your mother's rather an important person?]
[No one's more important than Mummy, Sarah, every little girl knows that.]
[Yes, but it doesn't often turn out to be true.]
[There is that.]
[You're not going to answer, are you?]
[It's better if you don't know.]
[No wonder she wears gloves!]
[And one of my pet projects is going to be the electronics to protect what's in Mummy's head, and if you could make it look nice then I'd very much appreciate it.]
[She needs to know about thoughtful chicken.]
[I mentioned it. She wants to talk to you about it.]
[How much did you say?]
[Just that it makes the power more powerful. For some reason I was embarrassed about the other.]
[I'll tell her. I wonder if she knows trustworthy people with the power to test it with.]
[Maybe. Oh, Sarah, what am I going to do?]
[What, about your I.D. and everything?]
[Not that, that's just annoying hassle. But how am I going to find a husband now that I can see how selfish they're really being and just saying things they think I want to hear and everything like that?]
[But you'll also know the real love behind what sound like empty platitudes too, so I think it balances out. Um, maybe it'll help if I tell you this. John thinks he's put away all his photos of his first wife, but I found this one on top of a cupboard {memory}. She was really smart too and she died protecting him.]
[Ouch. She's amazing. How can you compete?]
[I don't need to, Karen. If he saw someone like her today, he'd think ‘Fairly attractive, but not as beautiful as my Sarah.’ I know, I've witnessed it. Beauty is in the mind of the beholder, and the concept of beauty in a man in love is far more flexible than I'd ever imagined possible.]
[Wow.]
[But as for the rest, cousin, take it to the Lord in prayer!]
[I've never known I had a cousin before, it's nice.]
[Chat time over, girls!] came Kate's thought. [Sarah, Maria's just asked if you
have any spare I.D. diamonds. But I guess you didn't hear.]
“Urm, I've got a couple. They're not as good as Kate's stone.”
“Good as in data or good as in expert jeweller’s opinion?”
“Oh, jeweller’s opinion. Did you say what for, I'm afraid my thoughts were elsewhere.”
“A lovely phrase which is probably true in your case. Where were they?”
“We were gossiping, Mummy,” Karen admitted.
“No we weren't! Gossip is about other people, Karen. This was talking amongst ourselves so we wouldn't eaves-drop on your mother's conversation,” Sarah said primly.
[Catch! {memory}] thought John.
“Oh thanks, John. Yes, I can let you have a sample. The capacity is only about a gigabyte per carat on a gem diamond. I do have some failures where they tried putting more on and it ruined the clarity of the stone.”
“Not so bad, not so bad. That's still an awful lot of text.”
“A few hundred Bibles, yes.”
“And the ones with ruined clarity? Just how bad were they and how much data?”
“Ugh, no real jeweller would ever use them. OK, we got a hundred times the data onto them, and I suppose maybe if you wanted it to look like you knew nothing about diamonds except that they were all sparkly and could scratch glass, you could get away with wearing them.”
“Sarah love, maybe you should let someone with an untrained eye look at them,” John suggested.
“But they're horrible, John. Hardly better than industrial diamonds now. They should be clear and beautiful but they're almost as horrible as the so-called diamonds they sell on the net.”
John smiled fondly at Sarah. “I rest my case. Sarah is a passionate believer in quality.”
“Whereas the average person can hardly tell diamond from zirconia,” supplied Kate.
“Oh Kate, how could you even mention it! That's horrible stuff!”
“So, you took a high quality diamond, what about a third of a carat? Made it able to store thirty gigabytes, and did what, halved its value as a gem?” Maria asked.
“Worse, I'm afraid, we probably quartered it. A very sad and expensive mistake.”
“But a woman who had it sitting in her ring could have literally on hand a vast amount of data that she could access using nothing more than a wrist unit?”
“Yes, but you can do the same with costume jewellery like our rings, or I don't know, hide a crystal in a shoe. Why would you ruin a diamond for that?”
“But at some functions and situations, you'd look vastly out of place with costume jewellery on. I have to put my ring in my husband's pocket. And while I've had to leave my shoes behind sometimes and run away barefoot, I never take off my engagement ring.”
“Oh, I see.”
“I don't remembering you ever telling me about running away from somewhere barefoot, Mummy.”
“Well, no I wouldn't have, would I. It was before I married your father. We had some interesting times back then, and we did a lot of running away too.”
“Oh. One of those times where the night suddenly got brighter?”
“Yes dear. Now don't give away secrets or pry.”
“Hey, I could, couldn't I!”
“Not and work with us, Karen,” Kate warned. “You've agreed to that ethical code.”
“She wouldn't, Kate, any more than you would,” Maria said. “God doesn't make mistakes like that. But back onto our reason for being here, I do wonder who on earth would be a mutual contact between my brother and Arnold.”
“It would have to be someone Arnold respected, religiously, I mean,” Karen said. “His attitude to mind reading was real work-of-the-devil stuff.”
“Most likely place my brother would meet a new colleague in evil is prison.”
“I wonder if the A.I. can come up with anything,” Sarah mused. “Computer, query religious affiliations of Arnold, generate set of potential contacts, cross-match known contacts of Roland Underwood and fellow inmates during his most recent imprisonment.”
“Working,” responded the computer.
“Alert! Alert! Security status eight. Banned person approaching facility.”
“What!” Maria leapt to her feet and tried to peer through the window. “Display approach. Highlight location of banned person.”
The display showed the views from the different outward facing cameras. A figure had left a vehicle in front of the building and was approaching. They couldn't see who it was.
“Identify and zoom in on banned person.”
“Banned person highlighted in yellow,” the computer reported the obvious and zoomed in. It seemed to be a woman but the highlighting made it impossible to recognise her.
“Remove highlighting. Report link and name of banned person.”
The yellow glare vanished. A face they recognised filled the monitor, looking worried. Teresa!
“Banned person is sister to banned person Arnold, presumed associate of banned person Roland Underwood. Potential contact and associate of Roland Underwood.”
“Cancel alert,” commanded Kate. “Admit Teresa to facility.”
“Conflict of instructions. Cannot comply.”
“Status update. Known conflict between Teresa and Arnold. Arnold is potential threat to Teresa. Roland is potential threat to Teresa. Admit Teresa to lobby area. Affirm that records state Teresa is contract staff member. Defend Teresa from threats as contract staff member. Specify basis of association between Teresa and Roland Underwood,” Sara commanded. “Confirm, Teresa is contract staff member. Teresa recorded as frequent visitor to prison during imprisonment of Roland Underwood. Motivation unknown. Role unknown. Purpose of visits unknown. Data incomplete, processing. Protection of ambassadorial dependant staff member Karen overrides protection of contract staff member Teresa. Access beyond lobby denied. Access to lobby granted.”
“Well, that's something. I'll go talk to poor Teresa in the lobby,” sighed Kate.
“Computer,” Sarah tried again, “contract staff member Teresa is freelance legal advisor. Query visit frequency of legal advisor Teresa to prison after release of threat Roland Underwood. Correlate and report status.”
“Prior to release, visits average one point two three per week. Standard deviation zero point six four. Post release average one point two three per week. Correlation low. Null hypothesis confirmed. Motive of giving legal advice sufficient motive for prison visits. No association. Security alert cancelled. Security alert status five. Fire alert status three.”
[Kate, crisis over.] Sarah thought with relief, then said, “Expand fire alert status.”
“Staff member Horrace left soldering iron on chair.”
“Classify as minor risk to health,” Sarah instructed. “Schedule sub-program ‘nanny’ at lowest priority. Temporarily unschedule if resources low.”
“Acknowledged.”
“Well, I warned him.”
“What did you warn him of?” Maria asked.
“That if I ever caught him using furniture as a soldering iron stand again, the computer would start nagging him.”
“Kate agreed?” John asked.
“Agreed? She recorded some of the warnings! I really liked, ‘Don't do that, Horrace, or I'll shuffle your screwdrivers.’”
“Oooh, what a cruel threat! He'd be devastated!” Karen was in tears of laughter.
“What's so funny, dear?” Maria asked, bemused.
“Horrace might be absent minded about soldering irons, but he has the most organised toolbox I've ever seen. Every tool in the exact spot. He's got every sort of screwdriver you can imagine in there, anti-magnetic, non-conducting, high voltage, you name it, there's hundreds, and he knows where each one's place is so well he normally gets them out without looking. It'd be like reorganising a touch typist's keyboard.”
“OK, yes, good threat then,” Maria conceded.