BOOK 2: COMMUNITY / CH. 6:CONFUSION

IHM

“Karen was right, excellent pizza, thank you,” Maria said.

“The trick is to only serve it to hungry people,” John replied with a smile. “That way the reputation stays good even if the quality drops.”

“It was rather a late lunch,” Maria replied, “I'll give you that.” At that moment, her wrist unit signalled her discretely, and she answered.

“Hello, you have? Excellent. Oh, they did, did they? That's very good. Really? And the other accomplice, Williamson? Oh, did she? Well, that's not what I'd have expected, good for her. Thank you, enjoy the paperwork!”

“George, your attackers have confessed all, and confirmed what you overheard, and it seems that my brother himself gave Priscilla the message. She didn't recognize him at the time, I guess it'd been too long since she saw a photo of him. My brother has been caught, and Mrs. Williamson locked her husband in the bedroom and called the police because she'd found a crystal of indecent pictures when she was cleaning this morning. So he's been under arrest since about the time Arnold was breaking into Karen's house.”

“What does that mean about the threats Roland issued?” Sarah asked.

“I'm not at all sure. The police computers will be using up any spare microseconds they have tracking his past movements on video logs, and generating a list of people he's been seen with. Unless he speaks, that and his communications records are the only thing we're going to have to go on. Of course everywhere is going to be at high alert until we find out how serious he was.”

“And should we delay publication?” asked John.

“How near are you to being ready?” Maria asked.

“Not very,” Sarah replied. “We've realised that we need to do some basic research, as well as exploring the limits of what's possible. In fact, I wonder if what we should be focussing on is the human power, rather than the spiritual gift. I mean, there are theological issues and all sorts of other things involved in the gift. Perhaps a sentence saying something like ‘Certain subjects who are committed Christians also report extra abilities,’ and leave it at that.”

“I think we'd want to express it so that it can't be understood as saying that all Christians have the gift,” Karen suggested. “In fact, we only know one person who currently has the power but not the gift,” John noted. “I'm not at all sure why this is. From what Mama Ng told us, there aren't usually five people around with the gift, and let's face it, only Sarah and George were born with the power.

Karen presumably has it in her genetics, and God allowed her to use it at that time of crisis, but how Kate and I ended up with it seems like pure divine intervention.”

“But I thank God that He gave you the gift, else you'd not have been able to rescue my daughter, Kate, nor find Priscilla, John. Which reminds me. Would it be acceptable if we asked you to help find other people in a similar way? I'd be more than happy to call it a consultant role any pay accordingly.”

“I wouldn't want the money,” Sarah said. “I'm not at all happy with the idea of being paid to use a spiritual gift.”

“It does get rather close to simony, doesn't it?” John added.

“Simony?” Kate asked “What's that?”

“The sin of seeking to buy spiritual gifts, I think, or possibly offering to sell them,” John answered.

“But if we end up answering mercy calls all the time, how do we earn our bread and butter?” Kate asked. “OK. There were personal factors, but while I agree it was well worth finding Arnold, I expect Maria's colleagues could find criminals in danger from their associates every week, and if we're adding runaway kids too, we could be inundated.”

“Well, we could accept donations to support it, Kate. That avoids it being a bought service,” John suggested. “But I think that while runaway kids are obviously in some danger, we can't just read their minds and round them all up on that basis. That would be thought-police stuff.”

“I don't expect we'll inundate you, Kate,” Maria responded. “There aren't that many agents that get tied up like Pris did. But perhaps if you were able to do a quick health check on missing kids, then it might reassure their parents.”

“Do we know the range of this health check?” Karen asked.

“No research yet, Karen,” Sarah said.

“Then why don't you check on your father, Karen?” Maria suggested. “It'll give you a range check, and if he's frustrated then he's probably filling forms or sitting in a boring meeting and would welcome you giving him a call.”

“I like that idea,” Karen laughed, and focused on her father's health. He was hungry, but there was no sign of frustration. “He's not feeling frustrated, Mummy. That means we've got a ridiculous range, people, Daddy's a very long way away,” Karen reported.

“So how did I get the right Priscilla?” John asked.

“Let's leave God some mysteries, John,” Sarah answered. “You knew which Priscilla it was, it was Maria’s friend Priscilla.”

“And the Spirit who knows all hearts played switchboard operator?” asked John.

“I don't like that analogy, Sarah.”

“So maybe He's delegated that role to angels?” George suggested.

“I hope not,” Karen responded. “I'd hate to think that every time I check up on someone there's some angel leaping to make the connection.”

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“Would you prefer that your gift were nothing more than a human ability?” Maria asked.

“The Spirit told us otherwise, Maria, when we first found we had it,” Sarah replied. “I would prefer to think that in granting us this gift, any spiritual gift, somehow God is lending a little of His nature to humans, or even restoring to them something lost in the fall. This is surely more reasonable than the idea that God would relegate Himself to be a switchboard operator. But however it works, whether it's angels rushing to accommodate our whims or if the gift is some way in which God has changed us, the gift should be used in a God-honouring way. I wouldn't turn away a desperate parent looking for a lost child any more than I'd have told Karen not to check on her friends, but I might well turn away a cynical police officer who just wanted a way of getting their job done more easily.”

“And me using it to check if I should call my father now or not was just a bit too flippant?” Karen asked.

“I'm not sure,” Kate replied. “I don't think checking on loved ones is ever really going to be off limits.”

“Not entirely sure you're right there, Kate,” John corrected. “It could become an obsession or something, but yes, checking on someone because of love and concern seems entirely reasonable.”

“And does this, together with the principal of mental privacy, give us enough of a framework for how you're going to use the gift?” asked Teresa, who'd been quiet until now.

“I think so. It describes how we used it this morning, doesn't it?” Karen asked.

“Yes, I think so. All except for John checking on Karen's uncle Roland and Norbert the driver. I think those were probably neither,” Teresa replied.

“Yes, I agree,” John said glumly. “I think that was the least appropriate use of the gift yet.”

“We hadn't really considered this aspect of it, John,” Sarah said.

“No, but I should have.”

“I'm sorry, John,” Maria apologized, “I'm the one who asked you to. I should have just asked you to check on Priscilla right away.”

“It was my decision, Maria. And it was a poor one in retrospect. Excuse me.”

And with that he got up and left the room, heading for his office.

[John, what's wrong?] Sarah asked.

[Me,] was all the reply he gave.

“I think I'd better go and talk with him, if that's OK,” she said. Kate and the others encouraged her to follow.

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“John. Talk to me. What's wrong?” Sarah asked once she'd shut the door.

“I'm wrong. I'm supposed to be the spiritually mature one but Teresa of all people shows more awareness of me misusing this gift than I've shown. And how many other ways have I, have we, abused this gift? I used it unethically on Teresa, and what about the way we've been in and out of each other's minds? Isn't that an intimacy we should be saving until we're married?”

“John! Be sensible!”

“I'm trying to be! I'm trying to work out how many sins I've committed since I first met you. Sarah, I love you but I think we've maybe overstepped the mark so often that our consciences are burnt to a crisp. I wonder what evidence we have that the gift wouldn't be abused. We seem to have abused it enough times.”

Sarah decided that she had two options: she could try using words to persuade John that he was wrong, but she was fairly sure he wouldn't listen; or she could use the gift he was concerned that they'd been misusing. She was sure that somehow there was a lie sitting in his thoughts, like there had been in Mick's XXXXX's. This wasn't the John she knew. She chose the a third option first, and rather than answer, she prayed, “Father God, you are our sovereign, our master and our king. Guide us in repentance and faith, guide us to know truth from lie, and false accusation by the enemy from conviction by Your Spirit. Forgive us our sins, dear Lord, and lead us to walk in Your paths. Amen.”

Then, while John was still saying amen, she quickly read his mind. She had his permission, since she was truly worried about him. There was something wrong in his thinking which was tearing him apart. She saw it.

“John, if you remember, the Spirit joined us when we first joined our thoughts. He told us things, and we decided not to worry. Do you remember that, my love?”

She didn't usually call him that, it was his term for her, but she'd realised that it was more than that. It was an affirmation of his love for her and by always calling him by his name, however much emotion she felt, she hadn't been proclaiming what she felt so clearly. As a result, he wasn't as sure as he should have been about her love for him. That, she'd seen, was part of the problem.

“Yes, love, I remember.”

“Don't you think He would have said wait with this until you're married, if it were sin? And didn't Mama Ng congratulate us on finding each other's thoughts?”

“Yes, love.”

She took his hands and thought at him,

[Then why, my silly beloved John, won't you think with me about those silly condemnatory thoughts that are going round your skull? What's all this about then? {image}]

[You scanned me?]

[Yes, John. You told me I could any time I was worried. And I was worried and so are the others. So think with me, John, please, or at least listen to me.]

[I'll listen to you, Sarah, and maybe you'll convince me to join minds. But I think it'll be the last time we do until the wedding. That's not such a long time, assuming you still want me.]

[Silly man. Do I need to kiss you to convince you how much I want you, beloved?]

[You don't normally do endearments, what's up?]

[I spotted that you need them. I'm sorry, I should have realised. I think I might settle on beloved, if it is seemly to you, Sir Knight.]

[I thought, milady, we were not going to pursue this metaphor further?]

[But my beloved knight is caught in distress and vile bondage, and thus it is fitting that his damsel rescue him, is it not? {love}]

[What do you mean, vile bondage?]

[Come, my beloved, join your mind with mine, I will not knowingly lead you to temptation, and it's so much easier to show you mind to mind.]

John relented and they relaxed into each other's thoughts. Sarah pointed out that the guilt which was looming so large in John's thoughts was actually based on wounded pride. Of all the stupid things to become proud of, he'd become proud of his maturity in the faith, and had not only seen this as his role in their little group of mind readers but also something important in their relationship. Together they followed this thought in his mind. It seemed he'd come to see his maturity as the only thing he felt he could really offer Sarah, other than his devotion to her. How could she love him now that he'd proven himself flawed? He wasn't unique in having the gift. What did she see in him if he wasn't the holy man he wanted to be? No wonder she wasn't using endearments to him. It was so crazy of her to marry him in so many ways.

[John, you're nuts, you know?] Sarah said in loving frustration.

[Pardon?]

[What on earth made you think I was in love with a wise sage?]

[{confusion}]

[Idiot.]

[{hurt}]

[My beloved idiot of a knight has fallen into vile bondage to a lie, and I must needs prove to him that my love is not based upon such transitory things as his greater maturity and wisdom, endearing though they be, but upon his other transient capacities. Such as his being able to beat me in a race, and catch me were I to swoon into his strong arms.]

[Don't!]

['Till the arrival of the time I am my beloved's in the sight of the law and our Lord I shall strive mightily against the temptation, but you'd better be ready to catch me when we're in private.]

[I'm looking forward to it. {love}]

[{love} Me too. So, are you feeling saner now, my beloved? If so, spend some time with the Lord. If not, then I'm going to have to throw you to the ground and jump up and down on you in frustration. I love you because you're you, John, and don't you dare think anything else. And we both know you need to repent of believing that stupid lie, and the pride and everything, so get on with it, please beloved!]

[I will, love, I will.]

Sarah withdrew and left John to pray.