BOOK 2: COMMUNITY / CH. 15: DON'T WORRY
TUESDAY 11 AM
John knocked on Janet's office door. She and Ivan were deep in conversation. “Hi, John, Sarah. We're coming up with a whole heap of questions. But neither of us is sure they're the most important ones, or very relevant.”
“Well, Kate's said we're at your disposal. So fire away,” Sarah said. “Or perhaps it would help if we gave you a quick run-down on what we think is the basic framework we're discussing, then you can decide if you want to revise your list?”
“Sounds like a good idea,” Ivan said. Janet nodded her agreement, then said, “You know, this is a conversation I never thought I'd have. My parents told me that God was just a story that people told their kids to make them behave, like father Christmas, only nastier. But it feels like I am saying, ‘Oh, it looks like Father Christmas is real, what do I need to do so he doesn't clobber me with his big stick?’ It's so unreal. And scary.”
“Oh, Janet,” John said, “I never realised you had such a negative view of God.”
“It's not like that?”
“No. Janet. Not at all.”
“But Kate almost died. That's a big stick.”
John tried to explain. “Kate, well she'll tell you why, I'm sure, decided she knew better when Sarah told her to rest. So, rather than resting her over-heated brain she made it work incredibly hard again. God used that crisis to deal with some major issues that needed sorting out, then took the combined heat away faster than the original heat would have dissipated. Would God be at fault if you lit a fire in your house and could have died, but before God put it out without it even damaging the carpet, he used the smoke to kill some termites you didn't realise were there?”
“That's a complicated analogy, but no. If you put it like that, he rescued her, didn't he?”
“Yes. That's what God's like, Janet,” Sarah said.
“So he's not scary?”
“It depends on what you mean,” Sarah replied. “He's the King of the universe, and right now you're part of the rebellion. That's not what you might call a sustainable position. So he calls this conversation important. Far more important than any jobs us humans might give each other, or plans we might have.”
Ivan responded, “That's why Kate's giving us today to talk about it? You've got your orders and you've got to do your duty?”
“But it's not just duty, Ivan,” John said. “Kate and Pete and Ed would all be overjoyed to be here too. It's just that we don't want to overwhelm you. We love God and we're happy to talk about Him, just, you know, people don't like it if we do it all the time. Say the word and we'll call the others, or if you like, we can rotate, or whatever you'd prefer.”
“Ah. I see. Sarah said you could give us a framework?” Ivan asked.
“Sarah, did you have something particular in mind?”
“I was thinking of the wordless book they talked about on Sunday.”
“Oh, OK, you go ahead then. I get the colours confused,” John admitted.
“Wordless book? Is this some kind of mystical thing?” Ivan asked.
“No, it's just an old old memory aid," John said, "from when all books were paper. It had different coloured pages to remind people of the message. My memory isn't up to remembering what the colours stand for though.”
“Oh, John! Ivan, Janet, do you want the visual aid, or shall I just tell you? The visual aid is intended to help kids who can't read yet remember it,” she glanced pointedly at her fiancé.
“I think we can do without the visual aid then. Maybe John needs it though?” laughed Janet. Laughter helped.
Sarah explained the scandalously simple basics of the Christian message, with pointed comments to John about the colours that kept the tone light. It was a real pleasure to talk about God's character, his love, patience and forgiveness. But without the scheme she would have found it very hard to tell her friends their destiny if they didn't accept the gospel, and if people don't understand the bad news about where they are, then the good news is robbed of so much of its power.
“So there you have it. That's the basic message.”
Just then Kate stuck her head round the doorway. “Please do tell me if you want me, friends, but it seems I've got to answer some messages from the accountants.”
“Thanks, Kate,” Ivan answered. “I think Sarah and John are doing OK. I'll probably have some questions for you later though.”
“Me too, but go keep the accountants happy, Kate,” Janet added, then turning to Sarah she said, “It's too easy. Surely there's more to it than that! What about all the rules and candles and strange words?”
John replied, “Well, there are some churches that use candles still, but they're more of a traditional memory-aid than a necessary part of anything. Strange words are either jargon or just phrases which used to be in normal speech centuries ago but the language has changed. And as for the rules, well different people have different attitudes to rules.”
“Some people think you need rules to avoid making dangerous mistakes,” Sarah said. “I know when I was little there were rules against touching wires. But then they got refined, and now I'm allowed to touch wires, but I'm not so silly that I'd put a power lead into my mouth any more.”
“So,” John continued, “the adult set of rules is, ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your mind and with all your strength,’ and also, ‘love your neighbour as yourself.’ But you could say the second one comes from the first, because you can't really love God without caring for people he cares about.”
“So what's the Bible for, and churches, if God changes you, and saves you, and the only rule is love God?”
“Because we're still fighting against rebellious habits and temptations. The human race as a whole are against God, so it's good to encourage each other and to remind ourselves of what God is like. The Bible tells us that, in different ways. That's why we read it, so that we understand God's character and plans better.”
“You know, that's really really different to how I understood religion,” Ivan said in a confused tone. “I thought it was all about earning favour from the gods, or making sure that your good deeds outweigh your bad ones.”
“Well, Ivan, most Christians I know don't like using the word religion about our faith.” John said, “You don't find it in the Bible very often either. It's there, just not the main description. We often see religion as being a way that people try to put their concept of God into a box to make Him more like us, to reduce His standards and let us be part-time followers, and we don't want to take that direction.”
“So this world religion you follow isn't one?”
“Oh, it's got religious aspects. But we don't want to follow a set of rules or a system of philosophies. We want to follow the one true God.”
“That's quite an exclusive claim,” Janet said. “You're right and everyone else is wrong?”
“Well, if there are things that religions agree about there are also things that are fundamentally different between them. So if one is right then lots have to be wrong,” John pointed out, logically.
“And you're saying that you've got the exclusive truth?” Janet asked.
Sarah spoke, although she didn't know where the words came from, except from her heart. A desperate plea to her friend who seemed to be throwing away a vital chance. “No, Janet. We're saying that God has spoken into our lives, rescued us from belief systems and half-hearted self-centred thinking. This isn't about comparing man-made systems, Janet. Either God is real or He isn't. If He's real, then any human invented system needs to be compared to Him, and it'll fall short. The only way that we can know the Unknowable One is if God makes Himself known in history. That's what the Bible is full of. God speaking into history, and lives changing, the world changing as a result. But in most individuals’ lives He doesn't do it very often, if at all. You and Ivan have been given the rarest thing on this planet — re-playable evidence of the supernatural at work. More than that, this gift we're using, seeing in action, is supernatural, but it's becoming so normal you're getting used to it. Oh, I expect that we'll find a mechanism for the power, some kind of sympathetic resonance or something. But for the gift? Never! How can it be possible for me to know what an individual is thinking half way across the planet, along with unthought of information like who they are, what the layout is of the place they're in? There's no physical process I can think of that could transmit that data this far even. Yes, we're learning different aspects of the Gift, but It's not a learned skill in the normal sense of the term, I assure you; it's more like learning where to find the right book in a library. How is it possible for any of this stuff to work without divine intervention? The signal you saw migh be explained away, and if you want to, you can do that. You can refuse the opportunity God has given you. He won't force you to follow. But please, please, don't go getting distracted with philosophically obscure excuses to put off the decision until you can't remember what the fuss was about. Make a real choice while you can, before your memories get fuzzy and other things seem to be more important. They're not.”
Sarah's eyes were full of tears, but her face had seemed alight as she spoke. John was sure that such a heart-plea, or prophetic message, he wasn't sure which, would have taken its toll on Sarah. But also that the toll was worth it.
Gently he said, “Sometimes my belovèd Sarah opens her mouth and out comes the blunt truth in a powerful way. Like now, though not normally so long. The words might be hers, but I've never seriously doubted where the message comes from. I honestly think you have enough knowledge, enough understanding, to decide what you want to do. And I recommend that you think a little individually about it. Sarah's words were powerful but we don't want you to feel pressured.”
Sarah shook her head and said in an emotionally exhausted voice, “Don't you dare feel pressured. It's too important a decision.”
John continued, “If you want to talk further, we can do that, or you can talk to the others if you prefer. Or if you decide you want to follow God, we'd be very happy to tell you how.”
Janet said directly to Sarah, “I don't know where those silly questions came from, Sarah. Thank you for getting me back on the right track. I want to know your God.”
Ivan reached for Janet’s hand. “I can't deny that we've witnessed the supernatural. I didn't want to say earlier, so that Janet could decide for herself, but I've decided. I want to be on God's side.”
“I don't know, what do we do? Is it normally a private thing?” Janet asked.
“I'm guessing we don't need many candles,” Ivan said.
“No, no candles needed. It's usually something fairly private. I mean really it's between you and God,” John said, then paused for a bit of thought. “There's no need for it to be private though. It's simply a prayer where you ask God to forgive your sins and you commit yourself to Him. There are several standard versions of course.”
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“I think I'd like lots of witnesses,” Janet said. “It's going to be much easier to tell my family here at the Institute than my family back home. Somehow I think it'll be easier telling them if everyone here sees me commit myself to God.”
“It's unusual,” John said, “but I'm sure Kate could call a staff meeting if you really want her to. Ivan?”
“Urm. I think I'll go with just you three,” Ivan said. “Can you tell me what to say?”
So with great joy John and Sarah led Ivan through the prayer where he put God on the throne of his life.
Ivan asked Janet, “It's pretty overwhelming, Jan love. Are you sure you want to pray in front of everyone?”
“Yes. I'm sure. I don't really know why, but I'm sure. Urm, can you help explain to everyone, Ivan?”
“Of course, love.”
John called Kate, and Kate discussed with Janet when the meeting should be; Will was with a client, so it was arranged for in an hour's time — just before lunch.
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Kate said that John and Sarah shouldn't keep Enoch waiting much longer, so they went to John's office. He held the door open for her and as she passed he gave Sarah a quick kiss.
“You like surprising me, don't you?” she said. “You hid again to do it, I presume.”
“Of course.”
“I suppose I should practice more too,” she said with a sparkle in her eyes. [Surprising you will be fun on the honeymoon.]
“I heard that, love. Just remember not to hide for long, and don't get badly stuck.”
“I don't want to get stuck at all! It's scary. And as for hearing me, you were meant to. I love you so much, John! It's only two weeks, but you were right about powerful forces.”
John could feel that feedback was near, and he had a sense that Sarah was getting swept along with it. “Yes, my love. So perhaps we should plunge on with work rather than think about our honeymoon. Or perhaps we should think about all those fun last minute arrangements we need to make.”
Sarah groaned, and the feeling of approaching feedback died away. “You do know how to spoil the mood, don't you?”
“I love you too much to let ‘the mood’ take control of you, Sarah. I do have the advantage that I've been through this before.”
“And that was when you were a hormone-filled lusty lad, I know.”
“Love can beat lust, Sarah. Emotions are real and powerful, and sexual desire is one of the most powerful of the lot, and it's normal that we feel it for each other. It's part of marriage, after all. But I don't ever want to treat you as a thing. That's what lust does, in my book.”
“I know, John, I know. But feedback isn't lust, is it?”
“I'm not sure what it is, beloved, but it does affect our thoughts and emotions and heart rates.”
“And probably hormones too. And we agreed it seemed dangerous. It's nice, dangerously nice to be filled with that sense of loving and being loved. I'm sorry for playing with it. Let's keep it for after the wedding.”
“Only another eleven days. Feedback-less kiss of agreement? And then work?”
“Yes. I'll hide this time.”
Sarah hid her mind and they kissed briefly, chastely, but full of love. Sarah did get stuck briefly, and John felt her brief panic. But then she was free. [Merge, Sarah love?]
[Merge. Nasty horrible sticky mud.]
[You're getting better at freeing yourself.]
[So how do we do this?] Sarah asked.
[Enoch said it was ‘almost like when we were rescuing George and Karen.’ Then we were focussed on the their skins, as Enoch puts it.]
[And it must be something like focussing on the skin of a room, but different since that tells us who's there,] Sarah added.
[So, shall we try deeper than a room's skin?]
[But that's not very like like Karen or George's skin, is it?]
[So, should we focus on Enoch's ears then or something like that?]
[Yes, that sounds like a good start. You do it, John, and I'll observe if that's OK, you're better at trying new stuff.]
[OK, here goes.] John focussed his thoughts on Enoch's ears and relaxed whatever it was he relaxed.
[So, that's the garden sorted. But I don't have any plans to redecorate the house, Rose. What were you talking about?]
[Don't you think you should have? I mean, it's been almost twenty years since it was last done properly. The colour schemes are out of fashion, and have been for a decade.]
[So, if we wait another few years then we'll be at the leading edge of fashion again. I really really don't understand the logic of getting hard-wearing easy-clean paint that has a no quibble guarantee for thirty years, if fashion dictates you change it after ten.]
[Enoch, I don't think you're going to win, but keep trying!] John sent.
[Hi, John, you've worked it out?]
[Yes. First try actually.]
[Oh, well done you!]
[Well, you gave us too much of a clue when you said it was like when we were helping rescue George and Karen. Have a good evening, you two.]
[Thanks, everything OK over there?]
[Yes, it all worked for good eventually! Sorry to keep you waiting, we had a crisis when Kate tried to boil her brain. But God is good. He healed her and called two other staff members to faith.]
[Praise the Lord!] Enoch and Rose said together. [What did she do?]
[We thought we should pass on Mama Ng's legacy,] Sarah thought. [She took a peek at it straight after she got it.]
[Of all the crazy...] Enoch started.
[She was a bit fed up with being told what to do by people less than half her age,] Sarah explained.
[Almost a bit fed up with life by the sound of it,] Rose said. [She's OK?]
[Healed, repentant and even asking for advice,] John reported.
[Some lessons we need to learn the hard way,] said Rose, obviously thinking of something specific.
[Praise God for second, third and fourth chances,] Enoch said. [Speaking of which. We've been talking, Rose and I. We don't think that living in fear of discovery is what the Lord had in mind when he gave this gift to his church. We shouldn't worry, that's a very scriptural principle. There's nothing that says don't let people know, and lots about not hiding gifts. I've chatted to the others and they agree. It's time for what was whispered in secret to be shouted from rooftops.]
[God told us not to worry too. Thanks for the confirmation. We'll pass it on to Kate.]
[Urm, Rose, can I ask you something? Totally different subject,] Sarah asked.
[Yes, sure!] Rose said.
[We find that we get this sort of emotional feedback between us if we're not really careful about not holding hands too long. Apart from the moral risk this side of the wedding, is it dangerous?]
[You mean, is it going to boil your brains on your wedding night? No, don't worry. You don't get it when you link minds, do you?]
[No, not then.]
[So you can keep under control that way, or take turns hiding during your vows. All it means is you're going to have a fun time on your honeymoon, Sarah. Just make sure you've got privacy and that you're married before you let it fully loose.]
[Thanks, Rose.]
[Ah, the joys of young love!] Enoch said. [Almost as enjoyable as mature love, don't you think, Rose?]
[Almost. But don't think that we're done discussing the house, Enoch.]
[We'll leave you to continue your discussions in private,] John said, [and thanks!]
[You're welcome!]
John and Sarah withdrew, and, careful not to trigger feedback, they went to report their success.
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Pete had gone back to his work after his discussion with Kate. When she let him know what was going to happen at the staff meeting, he was in two minds about whether he would turn round to come back for it, or do a little work before the lunchtime discussion. In the end he decided he would go to the meeting. If Janet wanted lots of witnesses, then he could be there too. It was an unusual way of witnessing to Christ, but to him it sounded like something God had laid on her heart.
Kate told the staff members, “Hi, thanks for coming. This is probably the most unusual staff meeting you've ever been to. To start with, I'm not going to say much. Janet wanted you all here, and Ivan's going to set the scene.”
“Friends, I've been challenged not to slip into any characters for a WHOLE
week.” Laughter. “Hard though it will be, it's possibly not going to be as hard as I thought. This morning, Janet and I saw something on the EEGs which I couldn't explain. John, Sarah and Kate were in their strange trance thing, and either the laws of physics had been turned off and a signal from outside the lab was getting into Horrace's custom built interference free cables, or both EEGs suffered a fault which caused a simultaneous, synchronised pattern to alter both John and Kate's EEG traces. That's not rational either. My Janet wrote down the most likely explanation we could think of: that their God, now my God too, had dropped in for a chat. We know what mind-reading looks like on the EEGs. They weren't reading anyone’s minds. Them responding to God was the best answer, so when they confirmed Janet's guess, I couldn't do anything except listen to what John and Sarah said about him. I thought I knew what they believed before. I was wrong. I didn't. So I asked that they tell me how to defect from the losing side. Like almost everybody else they know who's made that decision, I just had a friend or three beside me when I prayed that God would accept me.”
“I don't know why,” Janet said. “Maybe its God's desire. You know I'm not normally an exhibitionist. But I feel I need to commit my life to Him in public. You're my witnesses, thanks for coming.” Saying this, she bowed her head and prayed, “God, I understand now that You made me and You love me, that You deserve my worship and love, but I've ignored You and despised people who believe in You. Now I know that You're real, that what I've always believed is so wrong: that when I was told You were a lie, that wasn't the truth; that when I was told You were always angry, that wasn't the truth either. Thank You for teaching me the truth. I deserve Your anger for what I've done but You want to forgive me. Thank You for Your love for me, which I don't deserve and Your forgiveness which I couldn't earn. Thank You for Jesus who died so He could take my sins and make me clean. Take them now, Lord, I pray. Make me who You want me to be. Be my God, my master, my heavenly Father and my friend. Thank You.”
Ed was nearest her, and as she turned to sit, he said simply, “Thank you for sharing that, sister. Welcome to the family of God.” He gave her a hug. That simple gesture, those words of welcome, were so different she was sure to what her natural family would say, that she felt like crying.
Then Horrace, who she knew had climbed mountains in his youth, said, “Janet, that's probably the bravest thing I've ever seen anyone do. I'm honoured to be your colleague and I hope friend.” She couldn't stop the tears then, though somehow she managed to get out a thank you. And then Ivan was there, and she buried her face in his shoulder, and tears of joy mixed with fear soaked his shirt.
“God is good, Janet, and I think He gave you the strength to do this,” he reassured her then asked, “Are these tears about your family? Would you let me be with you when you tell them?”
“Janet,” Kate said, “God is with you now, and forever more. I know you've heard it before, but you don't need to worry.”
Janet smiled at the thought of where that phrase had taken her. “No, we mustn't, must we.”
“You know,” Ed said, “I read that in my Bible this morning, and I was going to tell you, Kate, but I completely forgot. I'm sorry.”
“Thanks, Ed. I think we all need lots of reminders about that one.”
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It didn't take long for Pete to draw up his short-list after lunch. It was very short. There were only two local news services, and research quickly showed that neither had much influence or readership beyond the city. But there was a locally based national news channel with a good reputation, which had just been bought up by a multinational. The parent organisation obviously had the resources to keep other organisations away from an exclusive deal, and according to his contacts it wasn't just the reporters who were looking anxiously for some evidence that their future wasn't just going to be another sub-office producing “fluffy kitten stories” and repeating stories from other channels. The editorial staff were also hoping to pile up all the reasons they could to show their new bosses that their standards and journalistic talent should survive the take-over. Pete was pretty sure they'd be overjoyed at the chance the Institute was about to drop in their lap, and explained all this to Kate that afternoon.
Kate agreed, and yes, using the owner's lounge was fully appropriate in the circumstances. There was enough local mystery about it that it'd maybe get them the sort of hearing they might not get otherwise. “We'll need Teresa to draw up a non-disclosure agreement. Then you try to get the editor in chief to a meeting to discuss ‘a unique opportunity for a series of exclusive reports’ or whatever that phrase was you talked about. Should you or Teresa send it, or should it come from the Institute?”
“I'll send it. Or rather, my old PR company will. That's the best way. I'm glad I didn't sever relations with them entirely. It'll reassure the editor that we understand those words.”
“I still don't understand what's special about them.”
“The two bits, ‘unique opportunity’ and ‘exclusive report’ were over used and totally devalued a century ago. Back then they'd be applied to everything so they meant nothing. They became a standing joke, and fell out of use. But they were useful phrases, and eventually the international body that represents press relations organisations managed to get them a legal meaning in a news context. Now, if we used either of them falsely then we'd be liable to a big fine for misuse, but the letter would be unlikely to get rejected by a sub-editor. To use both, well, the fine would put most companies out of business if it weren't a genuine offer. The offer should get the sub-editor's personal attention, and he'll probably come himself.”
“Ah. I see. And your old colleagues won't mind you potentially putting them out of business?”
“No. I've told them what the offer was, and that it's genuine. They agreed that it was appropriate. Also there's a little form for you to sign that says the Institute stands behind the offer and you understand the penalties if the offer isn't genuine. Here it is.”
“Oh, so it's just my neck on the line, not theirs?” Kate asked with a grin, “That’s better. Well done.”
“And Security have given it their OK? That's rather important.”
“Yes. Subject to the journalist getting clearance, all is signed, stamped and approved.”
“That was fast.”
“Yes. We seem to be getting extra special treatment now. The other gifted agree too, by the way, it's time to tell the world.”
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On the way to her home for more wedding planning that evening, Sarah and John linked their thoughts once more.
[It was a good idea to ask Rose, love.]
[You didn't mind?]
[No, not at all.]
[Eleven days. Just eleven days.]
[May they not be as eventful as the last few!] John prayed.
[Amen!]
[Oh, Sarah, when you were talking to Enoch, I heard a sort of echo. Did you when I was speaking?]
[Yes. It makes sense. You hear me here and there.] [Shouldn't it have been longer?]
[I don't know. The earth isn't really that big compared to the speed of light.]
[So we could try and measure the speed of thought?]
[I guess so, John. I guess so. But I'd guess it's going to be the speed of light.]
[Oh. That's not so fascinating is it?]
[It's a fundamental property of God's universe, John. But you're right. I'll try and work it out. It would be interesting to see if our thoughts go round the earth or through it.]