I traveled in dark, bumpy and unbreathable condition, hearing clatters of horse hooves. I found myself bound and gagged. I could not speak. In darkness I opened my eyes as wide as I could, but saw nothing.

This was a dream. It must be a nightmare.

I struggled with all strength while my limbs were feeble. Even a finger could not move.

Only rapid throbs resound from my chest in this stifled and dark space. My heart seemed to jump out.

At this moment, what I could perceive were sound and dim touch.

I heard clops of horse and clashes of carriage plank.

I must be in a narrow and oblong box carried by a galloping carriage. Was I in coffin?

Only the dead lay in coffin but I was alive... A chill rose from my back and cold sweat poured.

It was who dared frame me up?

Were they my father's political opponent or the ones of long-standing feud, or the rebel? However what was their purpose to abduct me?

Ideas in my brain hovered in chaos. My body got stiff and my nose felt sour.

No, not cry. I could not cry.

I bit my lip harshly while my tears shed from eye corners to temples.

This was the first time for me to have such experience -- fear.

I did not know where I was and who around me. Usual maids and guardian around me were gone now.

This time I was desperately helpless.

What would befall me? The abyss, tiger's den or cold grave?

Without any sense of outside, I felt horrible, worried, cold and hungry. For many times, I slept and woke in bumpiness of carriage.

The carriage gallops without stop. When I was awake, I tried my best to discern the sounds: there seemed water splash, noise in market, and even wind and rain. I did not sense time. I was colder and hungrier. In faint, I thought I was dying.

A big bang startled me. Dazzling light almost blinded me.

Some shadows moved. I was held to draw out. My body was so pain as if it had broken.

“This woman seems dying. Call Lao Tian to check her. Don't let her die since we managed to bring her here.”

“Lao Tian is treating the Young Master. No time to check. Throw her into the cellar. She is still alive there.”

The people spoke with heavy accents. They must not residents in the capital. The latter speaker sounded a woman.

My eyes were accustomed gradually to the dim space. I looked ahead -- shabby beans and rough window and door. It looks a shanty.

Some people, short and tall, stood around me, wearing like herdsmen. Their faces hid under terai. I could not distinguish them.

I was feeble overall. My throat seemed to be split because of thirst. A strapper held and dragged me and I stumbled. He thrust me into a room.

He untied the rope binding me and pulled off my gag. And then he thrust me onto a hay pile.

Another person came in and laid something on ground.

They walked out and locked the door.

Lying prone on the hay, I was too weak to turn my body and sit.

My nose caught an unusual smell that was familiar but unknown. It incurred my extreme hunger.

In front of me, there was a rough bowl laid by the man, half of which held grey thing.

The unusual waft of cereal came right from the bowl.

I made all effort to move my body and crawl for it. My finger tips almost reach the bowl.

At this moment, if there was someone here, he would see an aristocratic and delicate princess lying prone and crawling forward with all strength, like a dying cub. She just reached for the bowl of porridge.

I finally got the bowl. I gulped the porridge down. The rough bran of cereal scratched my throat in dull pain while it tasted yummier than any delicacy. I tasted a flavor of bitterness and saltiness, which were my tears in the bowl.

I took down the last gulp and said to myself that I could live through and escaped to home.

My father and my brother must rescue me.

I eventually knew that survival was overwhelming.

Cellar was much better that the coffin.

At least there were dim light and dry hay. Not bumpy and cold.

Fatigued and confused, I fell into sleep, curling up in hay.

Now I longed so much for home -- my parents, my brother and Zidan. I missed each who cared about me. When each of them occurred to me, my courage increased for the one.

I even thought of Xiao Qi.

My husband was indomitable hero who could conquer the world and daunt the gangsters.

In dream I met my husband. The general on horse, wielding his sword, came from far towards me. He reached out for me while his face was dim. Yu Zhang King, you came and rescued me?

I did not know how long I slept. Lock clattered and someone came in. I was dragged out of the cellar.

In the shanty, again I saw the “Wu's daughter” in yellow and elegance on that day.

The girl wore a loose and thick cotton gown and a terai, disguising a man. She was pretty while look ruthless, crueler than the strong men beside her.

I smiled at her while she glared at men, cursing. “Silly bitch.”

Three men behind her were hefty, wearing high boots and knife. They looked like northern ethnic people.

Windows and door were closed firmly and the room was nearly empty. Table and chair were out of places. Hay sacks were piled in a wall corner. There was a door in left wall, which was covered fully with a cloth curtain. A whiff of cooked herb wafted from inside.

I judged that here was in north, close to border pass of Langya Kingdom. I was pushed suddenly and stumbled to the door.

An old man, long-bearded and humpbacked, lifted up the curtain. He spoke inside. “Young master. She is here.”

“Let her in.”A cold voice of man came out.

Inside was dimmer. I saw a man reclining on a clay bed opposite to the door.

The strong odor of herb drifted out of the medicinal pot. It was bitter and choky. The old man behind me retreated silently. The curtain clomped.

The man seemed sick, half-lying on the bed. He stared deadpan at me.

“Come here.” His voice was weak and emotionless.

I raised a hand to tidy my hair and stepped steadily to his bed.

In dim light leaking from window crack, I saw his dark and deep eyes.

He was such a young man with pale and craggy face and long and straight eyebrow into temple. His thin lips were tight and pale while his eyes were sharp and penetrative.

I was so surprised as not to immediately believe that such a man was the head of the gangsters who abducted me.

This countenance was cold as ice and haughty. His thinness made me pity and his coldness refused me.

His gaze seemed to penetrate my face.

“Indeed a belle.”He gave out a cold smile. “Xiao Qi has so good luck of woman.”

His sudden mentioning Xiao Qi astonished me. He sat up to reach my chin.

I flinched with a surprise and scolded him. “Gentleman should be self-respect.”

“Gentleman?”He braced himself by hand pressing bed edge. Bending, he burst into laughter. Desolate was he in white dress which was stained with blood.

“However, princess, I would like to ask who a gentleman is?” His face was paled for illness while his gaze was unrestrained. He stared at me with disdain and teasing.

“Yes. I am wrong.” I looked calmly at him. “Now that you could deploy so many people to abduct a lady like me, you must act without any courtesy. It is ridiculous to talk with you about gentleman's manners.”

Glaring and sulking, he sneered. “Princess is indeed dauntless.”

“I am flattered.” I was composed to make eye contact with him.

He still laughed while his look got cold. “We are knife and chopping board and you are fish and meat. Princess, can you really leave your life out of consideration?”

I sank into silence.

Sneer appeared at his lip corners.

“No. I am scared of death” I sighed and looked at him smilingly. “But you don’t want me to die.”

The sneer remained while he got lost for a moment.

“I am useful, ain't I?” I stepped steadily to an old chair and brushed off dust on it. I sat down smilingly.

He squinted at me, which was like a needle penetrating me and a wolf staring at its prey.

Under his gaze, I gradually felt cold and very uncomfortable.

“Yes, useful.” He had a flippant smile, examining me from head to feet. “But, it is up to me to use.”

I was shocked and despairing but a fit of rage rose -- No one ever dared be so rude to me and openly insult me.

“Yu Zhang King is a great hero. If he knows that Helan's remainder takes his consort's virginity...” He glared and smiled with a threat. “Tell me how General Xiao thinks of?”

I raised my head surprisingly as if I was shocked by lightning.

Helan! He was from Helan Tribe.

Helan Tribe was nearly oblivious.

A hundred more years ago, Helan tribe developed from a small population. The tribe held its territory and established its own kingdom. Helan Kingdom paid yearly tribute to Langya. People of the two kingdoms traded and traveled each other. Many Helan's people intermarried with ours. They came to accept our culture and education. Their language and etiquette were as same as ours.

Later, as Langya's civil war of seven years was ongoing, Tujue took this opportunity to invade. In order to keep itself peaceful, Helan Kingdom had to affiliate itself to Tujue. It became hostile to Langya.

Tujue had occupied our cities along north border. Xiao Qi overwhelmed Tujue in beside Shuo River. The war lasted three year. Finally Tujue was defeated to flee into the depth of prairie.

Then Helan in alliance with Tujue cut off our troops' only route and burned our food and forage, at which Xiao Qi, then Ning Shuo General, raged. His troops besieged Helan City, the capital, and forced Helan King to suicide. Helan's crown prince opened the gate of city to surrender. He vowed loyalty to Xiao Qi.

Xiao Qi left a guardian troop to station in Helan City. He led major force to chase Tujue northwards.

It was unexpected that the clan members of Helan King in the city betrayed and killed the chiefs of the troop. And then their troop and Tujue's troops launched attack from both sides on Xiao Qi's troops. In the battle, our troops got serious loss. The bloody battle lasted two whole days and Xiao Qi's troops finally defeat them. Helan's troop was eliminated and the clan members cowered in the city. Helan's crown prince begged for surrender once more. Xiao Qi refused. His troops broke the city and slaughtered three hundred more people of the clan. The crown princess and his families were beheaded publicly.

“Princess, do you know how your husband gained his big and notable achievement? How many people die wrong behind the glory of your family?” He leaned to me, with a stabbing gaze. His face became so pale as to frighten me. “Helan was ruined. He killed all people of the royal clan, three hundred more people, even the babies. People like ants died under his iron hooves...”

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I bit lips and sat stiff. I managed to keep my composure. My heart however sank into coldness while my face flushed fully.

He stood up abruptly, blaze bursting in his eyes. He shouted to the depth of my heart. “Have you seen widow and orphan starved or died of frost. Their bodies lay beside roads and was gnawed by beasts. The white hair buried their sons and grandsons themselves? The villages were blazed, just because they were Helan's people. Should they suffer as such?”

I closed my eyes, reluctant to listen and imagine while the bloody scenes occurred to my mind.

There were not true. He was cheating. A voice kept resounding in my head: Yu Zhang King was an indomitable hero instead absolutely of a violent and cruel slayer.

Though I felt confused and terrible, I still clenched my teeth, remaining silent.

My throat was tightened; a twinge followed.

He throttled me, eyes so red. He pressed me on the chair. The hard handrail pressed against my back as if it broke.

I felt too painful to utter a word.

“Don't pose like so... I want to see how noble you are and how long you can pose.” He raged and jerk me up to him.

His hands were bony but powerful. I was jerked to the bed and fell into his arms.

In panic, I gathered unknown strength to forcibly hit his check with my elbow.

He gave a low groan, loosing his forcible hands. I fell on ground and saw him put hand on chest. Red diffused from the wound in his chest.

He glared at me, face in pale. His body trembled abruptly. He coughed in muffled way, blood in lip corners. These scared me.

I covered my month with hand.

I glanced at the window beside his bed, which was ajar.

The curtain of door hid inside from the eyesight of outside supervisors, none of which heard inside sound. The wound of this man on bed recurred. This moment was the chance for escape.

Neglecting folk taboo, I stepped onto his bed, detour his cringing body and pushed the window open. A north wind blew inside.

Outside was dark-yellow hay yard. When I clenched my teeth and bent for getting out, I heard a painful moan behind me.

The man trembled, hand on chest, as if he endured pangs. He was all out to reach for the medicine bowl. He almost reached it.

His thin body cowered like a baby, letting out harsh and weak moan from his throat. His face was as pale as nothing as if he would die right now.

The minute I leaned already out of the window, I hesitated.

He almost reached it but if he could not get the bowl, he would die. When I hit him with elbow, I did not expect he would die due to my hit making his old would recurring.

Behind me this man alive would die because of me.

However he was the malicious remainder of Helan Tribe. My mind was in turmoil. To save made him alive; to leave did him die.

Would a living man die in my hand?

The man opened his eyes suddenly. I saw him as if I saw Zidan who had suffered illness in past. Also, Zidan was helpless and painful when he looked me and did not want me to leave his bed anytime.

These were the eyes with pain stabbed my heart. I soften and collapsed in my mind.

Forget it! There was a life in my hand. I braced myself to return to his bed, and took up the bowl.

He had no strength to raise hand. I had to put the bowl on his lips. Little by little, I help him drink the herbal water.

He let out a breath while his face was till pale. He stared at me, miserably and helplessly.

However, I did not know why his gaze made shiver my hand holding the bowl.

He leaned all again me, frowning and slightly panting.

I wiped the blood on his lips with my sleeves.

I could not lose chance any more. I looked back to the door and laid him down. When I turned, my sleeve was tightened -- he grabbing it.

“Eventually I save you. Let me go.” I sighed and pulled my sleeve out. Bending, I jumped out of the window.

Falling in soft hay pile below the window, I staggered to stand up, and rushed away.

After I ran for steps, I stumbled over my clothes ribbon and fell on ground, on which my knees fell painfully.

Something shone before me. It was sabre glittering.

I sat up slowly. My heart fell into abyss.

“Do you think a dozen of people outside are blind? You think you can escape, so you run?” I heard laughter in rough voice.

A pair of black and big hands reached for me and I sheered away. “Don't need help. I go back myself.”

“Hey, such a tough woman!” The man's hands reached out again.

I raised my head and glimpsed him coldly.

He was surprised and stiffened. He just saw my standing up and tidying my ribbon, and followed me into the shanty.

When I stepped into the door, “Bitch” came at me head-on.

Before I clearly saw the figure moving, I received a loud slap on my face, which made my face hot and painful.

The girl in man clothes gave me the second slap. “Bitch! You dare offend my young master. You dare escape!”

I blacked out and tasted blood in my mouth. In a shame, I felt my tear rushing out. I clenched my teeth and turned away to blink back the tear.

The girl raised hand third time. A shout cut in. “Stop. Xiao Ye!”

The long-bearded and humpbacked old man lifted up the curtain to come out. He spoke in low voice. “Young Master’s order: Be polite to the princess.”

“How is young master?” The girl neglected me and eagerly asked the old man.

The old man gave me a calm glance. “He took the medicine in time. Now he is all right.”

Those people were busy in looking after their young master, so I was pushed into the cellar again.

This time my hands and feet were tied with rope to avoid escape.

Door of the cellar slammed. In darkness I laughed bitterly.

It was lucky of me to be kind, or I did know how they afflicted me. If I had known escaping had been void, I would rather be kinder to the young master.

I wished that my kindness would be rewarded.

Unexpectedly the reward really came.

The moment I woke up, the girl took me to the back yard. Having untied me and not explained, she thrust me into a felt shed.

There was a barrel of warm water as well as clean and plain clothes in the shed.

I took a deep breath and immersed my body into the water. I did not care about their purpose and totally forgot this dangerous surrounding. It was great lucky of me to bathe in warm water.

I wore the clean clothes and rolled up wet hair. Feeling refreshed, I stepped out of the shed.

Without a word, Xiao Ye bound my hand with rope. She tightened the rope again and again.

Enduring the binding pain, I smiled at her. “It is not pretty for you to wear man's clothes. Your young master should offer one more woman's clothes.”

She flushed for anger and pinched my waist.

My aunt had told me that a woman tormenting the other women was crueler than a man doing woman.

Once more I was taken into the room where the young master stayed.

He still leaned against on bed. His gaze with hidden bitterness lingered on my face and then moved onto my hands.

“Who bond you?” He frowned. “Give me your hands.”

He sat up and reached for the rope. His fingers were long, thin and cold while central palm was a little warm. They were like Zidan’s.

Zidan's hands were white as jade, warm and tender.

“They are in bruises.”He held my wrists.

Pulling out my hands, I took back a step, staring at him quietly.

He looked quietly at me too. For long moment, he gave me a gently smile. “Do you regret saving me?”

“It is like lifting fingers. I never regret.” I replied calmly.

Having been silent for a moment, he sneered again. “Xiao Qi killed numerous people while his consort was kind like a Bodhisattva. Ridiculous. So ridiculous.”

I laughed back. “If a general does not kill, should he save people like a doctor?”

He snorted. “You really keep your husband respected. It is a pity that Yu Zhang King does not cherish you. Such a belle was left like a widow. “

I closed my lips tightly to restrain my shame and anger from releasing. I did not want him to see any of my embarrassment. I said without any emotion, “It is my family affair, and unworthy of your mention.”

“People in the world have known your grievance. You need not pretend.” He smiled but his words were vicious.

“You ain't me. How do you know my grievance?” I refute him proudly. “Even if Xiao Qi was all wrong, after all he was my husband and should be not slurred.”

He did not say anything more, staring at me. After a long moment, he let out a sigh.

“Wang Xuan.” He pondered and murmured about my name. Suddenly he looked up at me. “Why not kill me when I was weak but save me?”

Why did I save him? Because of he looking something like Zidan or of my woman's soft nature. Also I did not know which reason.

“Everyone has a heart of sympathy.” I turn slightly away.

He gave an abrupt sneer. “A heart of sympathy!”

He glared with rage and smiled with malice. “It is rare for you to have sympathy. It is better to pay your life to redeem Xiao Qi from his guilt.”

I did not know why I annoyed him. Immediately I said proudly, “Do you hear a member of Wang's clan in Langya is coward?”

He glared fiercely at me, chest heaving with restrained rage. “Piss off, piss off!”

Since then I was still cooped in the cellar at night and served him in the room in day.

My services were to help him take medicine, to sit beside him and listen, and to be cursed occasionally by him.

I was silent and submissive, without any refutation.

When he was sober, he chatted with me, and occasionally smiled. Excepting these, he was capricious. In most time he scolded his underlings and punished them severely.

Only when he slept did he looked calm and quiet, or usually he was gloomy and irritable.

I came to find that this man was very sensitive and haughty indeed. Even others took more care of him for kind sake, while he thought others were sympathetic to him so sunk into anger.

However his underlings were very loyal to him in spite of his fierce scolding. They held him in greatest respect without any complaint.