As Jade beads of door curtain rustled, his footstep came into inner room and his shadow was reflected clearly on bed curtains.

I turned and looked at him, heart throbbing. I felt timid and dazed.

He kept silent and looked at me though the curtain.

Since it was May, the curtains were soft and thin. It was like a mist between us.

What I saw was his dim figure; vice versa.

My maids retreated out, leaving the room quiet. The smell of herb suffused the room.

He raised hand to open the curtains but hesitated.

I was at a loss, heart beating more quickly and hand sweating much.

“I am sorry.” Suddenly he said.

He spoke slowly but I was surprised and held breath to listen to him.

“Dear, I know you are awake... I am sorry for your sufferings. If you could give me opportunity to make up for, please tell me. If not, I feel guilty and don't disturb you anymore. After you are cured, I have you sent back to the capital.”

What he said made me stir up though I listened quietly, but in my heart there was a storm looming.

Before I rebuked him, he already felt “guilty”. A “sorry” stirred up my bitterness, anger and more. Even I had not prepared well yet when we stayed together and our involvement was intricate, and he already offered choices to me: to tell him was forgiving; to be silent was leaving.

It was so simple.

Was it really so simple?

Separated by the curtains, I stared at him and could not distinguish my feeling complex -- it was hate or not on earth.

He stood in front of my bed, hands in back, keeping silent without looking at me.

Serenity occupied the room; light and shadow altered; incense smoke wafted around.

Such a determined and dominant man. To forgive or to leave, there was no space to stand both sides. I should be angry with him but the choices that he offered were as same as mine -- to forgive or to hate. There was no third one. At this point, we had so tacit consistency.

He had stood for a long while, waiting my decision: I saying something or keeping silent.

Looking at his dim figure, I harbored complex of feelings that was eventually converted into a silent sigh.

He turned to look at me. Even there was curtain between us; I could sense the pressure of his gaze.

At the moment I was frozen by his gaze, forgetting to breathe and speak.

After a silent moment, he said nothing and turned to leave.

“Xiao Qi.” I blurted his name out.

When I spoke, I found my voice so hoarse and weak that I myself could not distinguish it.

He did not hear it and strode out of the room.

Seeing him turning at the screen, I became anxious and shouted, “Stop!”

He paused and turned back with surprise. “You, asked me to stop?”

The shout exhausted me and incurred pain by wound of chest, which made me unable to speak again.

He strode to me and quickly lifted up the curtain.

It became bright suddenly before me. I looked up into his eyes, which had startled me on the cliff, watched me frequently in my unconsciousness and sustained my passion of life.

Now the eyes were so dark and deep, as if they were enshrouded with fog.

Our eyes contacted while we were in bewilderment.

“Stay still.” frowning, he held my shoulder and turned to call maids and doctor.

They entered the room in haste: giving me herbal medicine, diagnosing me, comforting me.

I could imagine that my look was wretched. I turned my body inside to hide from him.

Having diagnosed me, the doctor announced times that I was cured. The maids hold a bowl of herbal medicine and two maids tried to support me to sit up.

However he said, “Give me the bowl.”

He sat on bed side and held me carefully. I leant against his chest.

Strange and strong manhood enveloped me. I could sense his temperature through clothes. “Do you feel comfortable like this?”

Holding my shoulder, he gazed at me with tenderness and attention.

I blushed suddenly and shunned his gaze. The wound and disease made me cowardly. I looked down and fretted about it that why I faced him cowardly. My pride raised my head immediately to meet his gaze.

This was his look... bushy, long and upward eyebrow, deep eyes and thin lips on his craggy face.

“Is it enough to examine me?” He looked at me and said with chaff, “If enough, take the medicine.”

I blushed fully, and simply examined him throughout.

“What am I like?” He smiled and looked at me.

Light-heartedly, I said, “Not superhuman.”

He gave loud laughter and held the bowl to my lips. As he watched me drinking, he patted my back, tenderly and clumsily.

I drank with lowing head and my back sense the warmth of his palm. Some place of my heart melted.

The medicine was bitter. I frowned to finish it, and immediately turned head to say, “Honey water.”

“What?” he was surprised, so did I. In past days before marrying, my mom knew I disliked bitter taste. Each time I drank medicine, I was served with water of honey and snow lotus. Head drooping, I missed my mom, dad and brother and my tears welled up.

The tears fell on his hand back.

Dangers and hardship had been with me along the way but I had not cried. At this moment, before him, I cried without any reason.

In silence he laid down the bowl, and wiped off my tears.

His fingers touched my cheek, and I quivered and drooped my head, letting his harsh palm brush my face.

“Fine now.” he said tenderly, “Bitter medicine cures illness. When you wake again, your wound gets much better.”

Bitterness still lingered in mouth while bitterness faded in my heart. I felt cozy.

“You need sleep.” he laid my head on pillow and held my hand. Warmth passed little by little from his palm to mine. I felt a little faint. I did not know if the faintness was caused by the medicine or not. I had illusion. I saw a vague Zidan who was a little boy tiptoe beside bed and reached for my forehead; he whispered beside me, “Afu, recover soon.”

My nose twitched and my eyes opened. I saw Zidan's face fading out and Xiao Qi's fading in.

Now who was stroking my forehead and holding my hand?

A few days after, I kept sleeping because of the medicine efficiency

Occasionally when I was awake, I expected Xiao Qi's news from the maids.

However he had not seen me since that day.

A general with surname of Song was ordered to come for inquire my situation of the doctor and the maids.

The maids said that the king was busy in military affairs. I was reconciled to silence and I harbored complex of feeling, loss and bitterness.

Maybe, in the first place I should not expect anything; maybe nothing changed: he was used to be, so was I.

When I was awake, I wondered two facts. Namely, had my parent and brother known that I was rescued? Were Helan remainders caught? On that day, Helan Zhen's hand was cut off and he fell from cliff top. It was so vivid to recollect the distress. Back then, when he and I jumped off cliff top, I was full of hate and intention of dying with him. I hated him because he had made me suffer along the way.

Wounds on my arms and neck still remained, and especially my internal wound by his palm-hit.

In nightmare I sometimes saw bloody him in white falling to abyss. The cliff was so high and his hand was cut off. Now I thought that he had been a skeleton.

Nevertheless, I remembered what the doctor said: “But its strength was weak, or...”

As he was in rage, he took weak strength to hit me. I did not know why he was lenient at the moment. Did conscience trouble him? I never knew why, but each time when I recalled his palm-hit and distress, the hatred to kill him eased off now, and my pity and loss lingered.

I remembered that so many people were killed.

The slaughter took place in the drilling ground and the envoy was blasted; afterwards on the path, Helan remainders forced me to flee, and Xiao Qi caught up with them and killed the three: arrows piercing necks, beheading and blood splashing. In my life before, I never saw the horrific scenes.

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When I saw them, I did not black out and panick.

Once upon, in royal garden, we hunted deer. My brother shot the first deer. He presented the emperor with the dead deer. Xie Wanrong, the consort of the crown princess, blacked out as soon as she saw it. The emperor praised her for her kindness but my aunt did not think so a bit.

Thus, I must be unkind.

The envoy conspired with the enemy to abduct me, the consort of Yu Zhang King, and then planned to assassinate the king, but failed and was killed. The series of events were formidable, and I thought that in the capital, political storm was ongoing. How did Xiao Qi reported it to the royal court? How did my father and aunt deal with?

Though I was faint, I thought over it. I inferred the conclusion that there was a conspiracy with wide connections. However I knew nothing as none of them told me a clue.

Now that Xiao Qi did not come to see me, I had to ask the doctor and the maids.

However these guys' answers were “Yes” or “Sorry, I don't know.”

Each one answered in awe way to keep me afar. I could imagine how cruel and strict Xiao Qi was to and with them.

Excepting a little maid, she, big eyes and round face, were vivacious. Sometimes she chatted with me but in the way that I asked and she answered.

Fretting, I missed Jin'er much more.

After abduction in Huizhou, I had not met her yet. I wondered if she stayed in Huizhou or was sent back.

In the evening, I leaned again bed and read. When I felt sleepy, greeting and kneeling took place outside room.

Clatters of armor and footstep were heard to come in. Xiao Qi asked outside, “Has the consort gone to bed?”

“Your majesty, she is reading.”

His sudden visit upset me a bit, since I did not know how to face him. I laid down book in hurry and closed eyes to pretend to sleep.

“What are you doing?” Xiao Qi's footstep paused outside.

“I prepare for applying plaster.”

“Dismiss.” Xiao Qi paused again and said, “Give me plaster.”

The maid left. The room became quieter so that each breath was audible.

Bed curtain was lifted up and he sat beside me, so close.

I still kept eyes close but sensed his pushing gaze.

My shoulder felt cold as he removed my quilt. He opened collar of my underwear and his fingers touched my wounds on shoulder and neck.

When his fingers touched my skin, I quivered and blushed as if all my blood gushed onto face. He chaffed me tenderly, “Someone blushes when she sleeps.”

I suddenly opened eyes and his passionate gaze flamed.

Being annoyed, I dodged his fingers and pulled the quilt to cover my chest.

He gave loud laughter and his unbridled gaze swept me. His face suddenly fell and he seized my wrist.

I blurted with pain as he seized bruises in my wrist.

He released my wrist and his smile faded out. Calmly he glimpsed me. “They abused you?”

“Just bruise, no more suffering.” I took back my hand and looked up at him whose eyes were full of intention of killing.

I was surprised and could not speak as if words were frozen.

“Let me check.” he was deadpan and pulled me to him suddenly. He removed my clothes.

Under his gaze of intention of killing, I was too dumbfounded to refuse his action.

Candle light flickered. Most of my skin was exposed to him, and only small underclothes left.

Having checked my skin, he found no more bruise. His frown disappeared. He said quietly, “No more bruise. If he had abused you, the seventeen remainders would be chopped into pieces.”

He was half-hearted to say so but I was horrified. Being dumbfounded for a while, I asked him in low voice, “Have you caught the Helan remainders?”

As I remembered, on that day he promised Helan Zhen that his troops did not chase them.

“These rootless gangsters were not worthy of my troop chasing.” He said calmly, “Tujue's troop had awaited them on the border. They would kill them.”

“Isn't Helan Zhen the son of Tujue's King?” I was confused.

With a smile, Xiao Qi told me more. “Yes. But in Tujue, there is another prince, Hulan Prince who is combative, Helan Zhen's cousin.”

“No wonder you know his scheme.” I suddenly woke up to the whole thing. The man in grey followed me all the way, from which Xiao Qi could know just my travel, instead of Helan Zhen's scheme. There was a plant in Helan's group. It was Helan Zhen's cousin who betrayed him because they were competitors for Tujue's throne.

This surprised me.

Helan Zhen thought they had the envoy as a plant but never knew that Xiao Qi and his cousin conspired together.

Each step of the scheme was deliberate and murderous. If anyone took a wrong step, he would die miserably.

Xiao Qi, Helan Zhen and Xu Shou... all of them were entailed in a horrible scheme.

With my empty gaze upon Xiao Qi, I found his eye so deep as to see nothing.

He gazed at me too. With a smile, he ask, “Do you fear me?”

Just now his gaze had been cold as ice and now turned to melt.

Did I fear him? I had done when I had seen him leading his armored cavalries and marching into Chao Yang Gate.

And now, he was so close. He and I had experienced the death and I had seen him killing. Did I fear him yet?

I looked up to him, tripping down memory lane and having a complex of all feelings.

“No, I hate you.” I stared at him.

He was surprised and then smile. “Yes, I should be hated.”

Without any excuse, he admitted it. I had nothing to tell off him.

“Do you want to tell me something more?” I asked him. I bit my lip and yielded somewhat. Now that all had happened to us, we yielded to each other.

“What do you want to know?”

To my surprise, he answered me with a question.

I flared up but saw him smile brightly and radiating joy.

He owed me a reason why he left our wedding without a farewell.

I did not care what he could give for compensation but the reason concerned my and my clan's dignity.

In the whole three years what I had cared most was the dignity.

Seeing him smiling, I was so raged as to laugh. I said slowly, “I owed you a thing, now return it to you.”

To his surprise, He kept smiling. “What is it?”

I leaned and laugh. I gave him a sudden slap.

With all of my strength, the slap hit on his left cheek.

He accepted the slap straightforward, not dodging. He passionate gaze focused on me.

For the moment, we reached a dealock. Red finger prints and half-smile appeared on his face.

“This slap should be given to you in the evening of our wedding. Unexpectedly it had been owed so long.” I looked up at him, hand painful but I felt much better and even want to roar with laughter.

“Thank. Now we clear off it.”

His lip twitches for more smiles. He held my painful and red palm to check.

“The old bruises didn't heal up yet and new one is here.”

I fretted to take back my hands while he stared down from my face to my breasts. I found that my clothes were open mostly and white skin was exposed under his gaze.

“Shameless!” I felt so shame but my hands were seized firmly.

He signed and held me into his one arm. He picked up the plaster and said, “Don't move, or you have to be undress to apply.”

I thought that he could do what he said. It was in vain to struggle. I had to reconcile myself to his action.

He picked some plaster with his finger and carefully applied it on my bruises on neck, shoulder and wrist. The bruises had healed much and I did felt so painful. His fingers on my skin massaged the bruises slowly, which made me felt itchy. He smiled at me when he applied.

Since it was simple for the maid to apply plaster, he was deliberate to do it slowly.

I glared at him, too annoyed to speak.

He gave me a profound glance. “Such a tigress... Nice. You are destined to marry a military man.”