It was still stormy outside while burning charcoal warmed this simple shed like spring.
I reclined on him in stillness. My long hair sprawled on his chest; some strands of hair were wetted by sweat, criss-crossing his scars, deep or shallow, on his chest. Surprisingly, there were so many scars on his body, one of which stretched from shoulder to waist. Though the scars were weak trace, they still look terrible. His military decade witnessed numerous killings. Trekking through bone hills and blood seas, he gained the current status. I dared not imagine these years when he trekked alone.
After passion, he held me in his chest, eye closed and relining. He seemed to sleep peacefully. His cragged face still looked alert, as his lips tightened and hand held sword handle. Once any trace was sensed, he would be ready for fighting. It should not be slack for any moment. I gazed long at his calm sleeping, feeling a little sad and sweet.
I reached out to touch his wrinkle between his eyebrows with my finger tips. Eye closed, he was still. Tight lip corners loosened to form a weak smile. I sat up to pull his half-dry clothes and covered him. Suddenly he embraced my waist and turned his body to press me down.
Before I blurted with fake anger, I saw Xiao Qi rolling his eye with serious expression. Holding sword, He bent kneels to protect me. I held breath without moving. I didn't hear anything, but I sensed something coming up. Xiao Qi moved his sight and wielded long and shining sword with a whiz in tranquil night.
A whiz of sword sounded outside. Soon a low and firm voice of male was heard. “I am sorry for being late. Beg pardon of Your Majesty.”
I felt relieved and soon shy. I put on my clothes and then tidied Xiao Qi's clothes.
Xiao Qi returned sword into sheath. With mild smile, he said, “Nice. You act quicker.”
“I am sorry.” The man replied with reverence and stopped outside. The voice was deja vu.
“Now where are the assassins?” Xiao Qi asked in august and seriousness.
“We confronted them at east suburban. We killed nine and wounded seven, the other twelve fled far from the town. General Tang Jin had chased them. General Song imposed lockdown on the town for searching rest of them. I dared not waste time. In haste I come to meet Your Majesty.” The man's voice went with heavy north accent. The accent recurred to me.
As soon as Xiao Qi opened the door, cold wind blew rain in and I gave a shiver with cold. I saw a warrior in full armor stand with awe in rain, a little far behind who ten more cavalries stood on guard, holding pine-oil torches. In spite of the storm, they stood still and firm. The torch flickered but kept burning in wind, emitting black smoke.
Xiao Qi, a hand in back and the other holding sword handle, showed an easily augustness, shadowing ahead.
A guardian presented him with an umbrella. Having taken it with smile, he turned to me and reached for me.
I brushed my hair and paced to him. I gave my hand to his. Together we stepped into storm. The rain rattled on umbrella; cold wind waved my hair. His shoulders sheltered me from the storm and cold, passing his warm to me.
Out of the shed we stepped. The cavalries jumped off horse and knelt to greet Xiao Qi. Cold armors clattered in unison, which kept up our spirits.
Following the cavalries were Black Dragon and Startling Cloud who capered as they saw us.
I looked aside at the burly general in full armor and recognize him finally. Also he gave me an upwards glance. I gave smile of acknowledgement to him: it was him who intercepted and contacted me at the travel station.
In our residence, no one knew our travel more than Yuxiu and Lady Lu.
As soon as reaching the residence, Xiao Qi ordered to confine all servants who knew our travel, including maids and grooms. All of them would be interrogated.
When two guardians took Yuxiu away, she did not cry. Biting lips, she resigned herself to the guardians. Beside door, she suddenly looked back at me. Her small body was slant as guardians pulled her but her eyes emitted determination.
“I do not betray Your Majesty.” She spoke in low voice and was pulled out immediately.
I bit lips and saw her out and far. I blurted out “Stop”.
The guardians stopped and turned to me. Yuxiu fell on floor and gave me a miserable gaze. I understood the gaze like so. It was a misery caused by deserting of one who she esteemed, for which I had empathy. At this moment, I was touched by this thin and determinant girl. Without any reason, I trusted her.
“Not her.” I said to guardians calmly, “Let her go.”
Yuxiu looked suddenly at me, eyes full of tears. The two guardians looked at each other in hesitation.
I paced up and reached to hold her up. With embarrassment, the guardians had to bow away. Yuxiu then cried. Wiping off her tears, she knelt to me.
I held her up and tapped her shoulder. “Yuxiu. I trust you.”
She just cried without any word. The other maid behind us stood and sobbed.
That night Lady Lu's husband, Military Advisor Lu, hanged himself from the rafter. After Lady Lu was tortured in jail, she confessed that she told the Advisor our travel. She did not find that her husband had been coerced into being a spy of instigator behind the assassins.
The assassins flee to official road at east suburban. General Tang Jin, leading his troop, intercepted them. They kept three alive for interrogation and killed the rest.
Song Huai'en imposed closure on Ning Shuo in time for ransacking. He arrested a middle-age bookman who hid in traders at south of the town.
This bookman was exactly the deputy ambassador who followed Xu Shou to Ning Shuo: Du Meng, a deputy Minister of Ministry of Defense.
I knew him. He was in his thirties with plain look. Born in a reputable clan in north, not only was he talented in literature but proficient in martial skills. The important was that he had been promoted times by Wen Zongshen. Such a talented man was however a laughingstock and conversation piece of people because of his weird temper and discord with aristocrat officials.
Current celebrities usually bred fine horses, cranes or well-bred dogs; however Du Meng did oxen. In his house, he kept ten oxen. He often compared himself to ox, entitling himself “Maniac of Ox”. He was more obstinate than old ox. He impeached many officials for their minor faults; even he directly offended my father times. For the sake of the Deputy Chief Minister, my father could not do anything to him.
I still had weak impression on the Deputy Minister Du -- black face with anger and baggy clothes. Unexpectedly, he conspired to assassinate the chief general of our kingdom by deploying planted men.
Planted man existed secretly and widely. As I knew, my uncle had a group of planted men who were deadly loyal to him, but nobody knew who they were and where lurked. Once my uncle issued order, they emerged anytime and anywhere to fulfill their task.
Against my expectation, upright and wild Du Meng was the head of planted men; my reputable father changed the order of the emperor; heroic Yu Zhang King challenged the emperor. Were they kind or evil? It was first time for me to realize that there was not absolutely good or evil man. It boiled down to “make-or-break move”. Each person had same flesh and an axe to grind. Under beheading chopper, life was vulnerable.
For an instance, Du Meng's head was being hung on town gate of Ning Shuo.
He had been eloquent in royal court and deployed the planted men in secret. He, brave and loyal in his lifetime, paid his life for Wen's favoring and promoting him. Today, his talented head was beheaded while his blood spattered no more than three feet.
Xiao Qi asked Song Huai'en to persuade Du Meng into working for him, but Du Meng refused. Xiao Qi was resolute to kill him. If he was willing to work for Xiao Qi, he was treated well; if not, die. In my father's case, he possibly cherished Du's talent and kept him alive, but Xiao Qi did not since he was a major and powerful mastermind of the kingdom and a general of slaughter in easiness.
The second confidant letter from my fahter arrived soon.
Situation changed again in the capital. As reminders of Wen Zongshen's sect still lurked, they tried to rescue him on the day of execution. Royal guardians led by my uncle defeated the abductors; however my uncle as then supervisor of the execution was hurt by assassin. Wen Zongshen was jailed again. To prevent from rescuing, my aunt personally went to the jail and gave him a cup of poisonous wine.
The political situation changed so much as to confuse me. The two sects were at enmity. Jianning King in south was ready for marching as his vanguard had marched northwards. At his moment, the reminders of Wen’s sect sent planted men to assassinate Yu Zhang King. These were best reason for the king to march southwards. The troops in Ning Shuo were well-disciplined, awesome and ready for marching. Ning Shuo left the troop of two hundred fifty thousand soldiers to guard at Ning Shuo and led troops of one hundred fifty thousand soldiers personally to head for the capital in three days.
Following Xiao Qi, I ascended to the pavilion on town gate and inspected the troop drilling.
It was second time for me to view the awe of his troops. All soldiers held up spears and shouted simultaneously; horse hooves stirred up dust to shade sunlight and their clops sounded like thunder booming. I was shocked again by the wonderful scene like that one happening at Chaoyang Gate three years ago.
I looked back at Xiao Qi's silhouette -- his red martial robe with golden dragon pattern, which glinted in sunset glow.
Xiao Qi was fully-fledged and boasted sharp martial edge.
I was afraid that his ambition was beyond the sky over and desert beside Ning Shuo, though they were vast.
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At the night, I ordered Yuxiu to prepare for travel as next day we would travel south with the troop.
It was first time for Yuxiu to leave Ning Shuo and travel afar with soldiers. She was nervous and joyful.
I saw her packing many thick clothes, and smiled to say, “As we travel south, it become warmer. When we reach the capital, we don't need the thick ones.”
Xiao Qi's voice with smile came behind me. “Take them all.”
He strode into room, wearing armors. My maids bowed and retreated in hurry.
I smiled at him. “You don't have inkling of the weather. Now it is the season in the capital to wear thin clothes. No one wears so thick ones.”
Xiao Qi did not answer and just stared at me, which made me a little uneasy.
I walked up to him and undress his chest armor. “You don't even undress armor. It is cold. Do you feel comfort?”
“You are homesick.” He held my face in hand with profound emotion. “You long for the capital, don't you?”
I choked a little and turned aside without any word. He revealed the last thing that I want to touch in my heart. With a transient gloom, I had to smile bitterly. “Anyway I am going to return but I am a little reluctant to leave here.”
With a trace of guilt in his eyes, he stroked my hair. “When the war is done, I will take you home, no long time to wait.”
It surprised me. I flinched and stared at him. “You don't want me to go with you?”
“Not this time.” He took out a letter to me. “The Chief Minister's letter. You may read it now.”
It was the letter from my father to me. Yesterday he took it away and asked me to read it after the travel.
In blank mind, I received the letter but could not brave reading it.
When I knew that he would march south for fighting, without hesitation and with expectation of war danger, I must experience it with him. It was essential that in the capital my parents and clan stayed, who were under threat of Jiangning King. In this crisis, as the daughter of Wang's clan, I had to stand with them through the crisis.
“I want to go home.” I looked calmly into his eyes. “You should not leave me alone here.”
Gazing at me, he said slowly, “Tomorrow morning you begin journey to Langya.”
“Langya?” I hardly believed it as the destination was Langya, origin place of our clan.
“The Elder Princess has gone to Langya.” Xiao Qi pressed my shoulder tenderly. “You should go with her.”
Out of my expectation, my mother has gone to Langya at this moment. It surprised me but I thought of something, feeling anxious. The letter in my hand was thin but weighed tons.
Having opened the well-decoration envelope, I skimmed over it. I trembled so much as to let the letter fall off.
Xiao Qi remained silent, held my shoulders and stared at me.
My father told me that my mother was afflicted with aliment and had to leave the capital for Langya with Auntie Xu. The journey to Langya was long and she was alone and missing daughter. She expected that I could stay with her.
Covering my face, I felt anxious but meantime understood all.
My poor mother was neglected at this fatal crisis. No one considered her situation, and even I almost neglected too. Who could care a lady in deep chamber of aristocrat residence? Her name was hardly remembered, and only her title “The Elder Princess”, or consort of the Chief Minister and Jin Guo Duke, remained.
The feeble emperor who was now confined in palace was his elder brother, who her husband deprived of his power and dignity and she had been proud of. She was the First Jinming Princess, the only younger sister of the incumbent emperor. Her blood was royally noble. I did not believe that my mother was willing to escape at this moment because she was delicate and kind but not a coward.
She must be forced to leave for Langya. My father made her go because he did not want her to see enmity between two sects.
My father was kind or cruel?
Having read the news that she suffered from aliment and longed for daughter, I could not help but give vent to my sadness by crying on Xiao Qi chest.
I still had him while the poor mother was alone and only Auntie Xu went with her.
Xiao Qi let me weep, patting my back. I buried my face into his chest and my tear wetted his clothes.
After a long while, he persuaded me in tender way. “Be brave. When you see your mother, don't cry as such.”
I sobbed and nodded. He held my face up, instead of holding my shoulder tenderly as usually, and said to me in resolute way, “I am your anchor here while you are the others’ in Langya.”
“Yes. I see.” I forced myself to hold back tear. Biting lips, I looked up at him. “Tomorrow, I hit the road.”
We looked into each other's eyes in silence. The resoluteness in his eyes shaded into trace of resignation and deep love.
Yesterday he stopped me reading the letter, and put aside busy military affair to take me out of the town. I spent the happiest day in Ning Shuo. In fact, it was the happiest one in my life.
He had known that he could reduce one sad day for me and even I would depart from him soon.
It was another departure. When Zidan started for the mausoleum, I thought that my future would be dull and even I dared not to see him off. However, I marked this departure as the beginning of second reunion, like the departure on wedding evening which led to this reunion in Ning Shou.
It was near midnight and candle cast bright light. I still want to talk more and stay longer with him. He made me go to bed. Eye closed, I pulled his sleeve.
“I will be back soon.” He kissed my forehead in doting way. He said helplessly, “Huai'en is waiting at the west hall. I have to handle him. Baby, fall in sleep.”
I agreed with reluctance. My fingers crawled in from his collar. I looked up at him. “I am an impediment. Without me, you are easy.”
He kissed my forehead and bantered. “You are such a hellcat. It is enough to be vanguard. Not an impediment.”
I pretended to be angry. I pinched his chest hard and he grabbed my hand and kissed my lips fiercely.
Head on pillow, I recalled his panting and nervous. He was so indulged that I sniggered. He stood up clumsily. Before leaving, he said in fake anger, “You vixen. I will back to you.”
I blushed. Recollecting the scene in yesterday evening in the shed, I blushed more. It seemed not to change anything from a girl to a wife overnight, but it was totally different.
Tossing in bed, I could not fall in sleep. I got up and saw the robe with unfinished embroidery. I sighed. In past, I had disliked learning needlecraft which I thought I should not do in my lifetime. My mother forced me to learn it. Eventually my needlecraft was unskilled. In past days, I had followed Yuxiu's bad idea to do needlecraft. She finished the most of the embroidery, excepting a dragon pattern on collar. The pattern was very complex and would cost me much effort.
I hold the robe and saw it for a long while. Having dressed myself, I poked candles brighter and started to embroider.
Time flew. It was over midnight.
Xiao Qi was still at the west hall. I was too sleepy so I had to rest on pillow for a while and went on. In sleeping, I sensed that someone took the robe away. I woke immediately and saw Xiao Qi taking.
Seeing me waking, he grabbed the robe and threw away. With mild anger, he scolded, “You don't sleep. What do you fiddle about?”
I paused with surprise, and then I saw the robe on floor on which a claw of dragon was unfinished. I was angered. “Pick it up!”
I pointed at the robe, shouting. “I spent a whole night in embroidering and you throw it down. In future you don't ask me to do it for you.”
“For me...” Xiao Qi fell in amazement and had to pick it up. He held the robe which surprised him to be dumb. His look amused me and I threw a pillow at him. “Anyway you don't want it, and I give up.”
Responding only with smile, he folded the robe carefully and put it beside pillow. He said seriously, “You give it up, and I wear it out. People will see the three-claw dragon made by my Afu.”
I felt funny and annoyed, trying to hit him, while he pushed me down in bed. Hooks of bed curtain swung; the curtain hid us.
Beyond the curtain, morning glow brightened up the sky of border area.
In the morning, I tidied up Xiao Qi's clothes and hat. He was much taller than I, and I had to be on tiptoe to put hat on his head. He circled my waist and laughed tenderly, “When I married you, I thought you were a kid...”
It struck me as moving with tear. I sighed, “It was three years. Then you were a little girl, and now grown-up.”
“This time I don’t let you wait long.” He hugged me tightly. “The deadly moment on the cliff we had experience. In future we go through disaster and delight together... Afu, I want you to remember that it was so on that day, and it will be so in our lifetime.”
Our eyes met, and he eyes seemed to house all joy and sadness in my life.
I smiled, nodded hard, and kept back tears in silence. I wanted to kept tear away when departure.
It was so on that day, and it will be so, which I impressed on my memory.
Xiao Qi ordered his trusted general, Song Huai'en, to escort me to Langya.
When I stepped out of the gate of residence, I looked back and kept Xiao Qi from seeing me off.
I got on carriage flanked with guardians. As horses galloped, road scenery flew backwards.
I had not looked back until now, resigning myself to tears.
I was forced to go to Ning Shuo months ago; also I left now.
When I arrived, I was alone to unknown fate; when I left, I was not.
Three years had gone as fate changed much. I came and went; eventually I reached the other end of fate.
He was still here; I was here too. We were together and never missed each other.