“You’re never going to be able to fly with that.”
“What would you know?”
“I know that capes don’t let people fly!” shouted Vance.
“That’s why I made it really big!” Privati shouted back.
Vance and Privati were standing on the edge of the roof of the Ocean’s Bounty.
Meanwhile Ash and Eins were crouched down, peeking through a half open door of the access stairwell.
“What is she wearing?” asked Ash.
Eins narrowed its doggy eyes. “It looks like a really big cape.”
“Yeah but look and see how she’s tied off the ends to her wrists and ankles. Also there’s way too much material for only a cape. It’s clumped up by her feet. That isn’t normal.”
Eins licked its nose. “It’s not?”
“No. Haven’t you ever seen someone wearing a cape before?”
“Of course I have. Lots of times. But I’ve never been able to judge the limits of human fashion before. Humans are always putting new things on their bodies. They’re always trying to make themselves look more attractive. Is this not one of those times?”
“No. This is something else. No one would wear that kind of thing for fashion.”
#
“If you jump off the roof wearing that cape you will break your neck.” said Vance.
“I thought that would make you happy Vance. You would finally be rid of me.” said Privati.
“I’m only trying to think of the poor bellhop that’s going to have to shovel your flesh pancake off of the pavement out in front of the entrance. And what about your shoes? Do you know how hard it will be to find enough self absorbed women to unload your multiple closets full of stupid platform heels?”
“What are you talking about Vance? When I die I’m leaving all of my shoes for you. After all, once you’re wearing my heels you can spend all day doing the one thing you love most, looking down on everyone else.”
#
“Excuse me. Can you tell me why you’re crouched down inside a stairwell in my Gambling Hall?”
Ash and Eins turned around. Lady House was standing behind them in the stairwell.
Ash pushed out his chin. “Excuse me. Can’t you see that me and my dog are trying to spy on someone in private.”
Eins put a paw over one of its eyes.
“Do you know who I-”
“Yeah, yeah, you’re House, the owner of this gambling house. I know who you are. I’m not an idiot.”
“Not for lack of trying apparently. If you’re going to be so trenchant maybe you’re looking for a personal escort out of my Gambling hall.” Lady House crossed her arms.
“I’ve already seen you trash chute. But I think your niece is about to jump off of the roof.” Ash pointed to the door.
“What?”
#
“Also why are you using cotton for the cape?”
“What do you mean?”
Vance patted his chest. "Your cape is made out of the same material as my blouse. The whole point of cotton is its breathability. How are you supposed to fly through the air with such a permeable fabric?"
Privati spread her arms. The giant cape attached to her wrists and ankles fluttered behind her.
"This is the best option I have so far. The tests that I already performed with canvas capes were... disappointing."
"Is that why Allie isn't talking to you?"
"It is not unrelated..."
"What about a lighter material? Like nylon?" asked Vance.
"Where am I going to get that much nylon?" asked Privati.
"You could get the artificers to summon some for you. A lot of them have alchemical backgrounds."
"That's true." Privati tapped a heel. "But I need to limit my exposure to the artificing areas of the gambling hall for a little while. At least until…" She glanced at Vance. "Forget I said anything. I can't get that much nylon on my own."
"What about silk?" Vance flicked the edge of Privati's huge cape.
Privati pinched her nose. "By the moons I hate silk. Every seamstress wants to add a million different embellishments. They're always trying to sell me wedding dresses or ball gowns. Can you imagine?"
Vance shrugged.
Privati twisted the fabric of the cape in her hands. "You have no idea how hard it is to find a discreet seamstress willing to sew a bedsheet sized cloth in the shape of a swan."
#
"All I'm saying is that you don't need to be here." Ash propped a foot up on the side of the stairwell. He checked the laces of his boot.
This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it
"This is my Gambling Hall." said Lady House.
"Yeah. You own it. But there's no need for you to oversee operations. Don't you have like, all the money in the Kingdom?"
"It's not that simple. Wealth is not entirely defined by liquid assets. I have a number of investments and bonds designed to diversify my holdings." said Lady House.
"Yeah, but you could buy anything you wanted right? Anything at all?"
Lady House put a finger delicately against her chin. "It would be possible."
Eins scratched behind one ear with a back leg. Ash reached down and picked the dog up. He took a quick peek through the stairwell door.
Vance and Privati were still talking at the edge of the roof.
Ash scratched Eins' ears. "So use that. I don't think you have to deal with any problems you don't want to. Not with your wealth. If I had your money I would never do anything for myself. I would snap my fingers and just tell people to do whatever I wanted. That would be great. Why not just pay your niece to give up her dream of jumping off of a building? Why not pay Vance to leave town and never come back?"
Lady House scoffed. "You really are such a petulant child. It's not that simple. Some people have greater concerns than simply money. They can't be bought off so easily."
"Are you sure? Have you tried?"
The corner of one of Lady House's eyebrows twitched.
Ash tilted his head. "Interesting. I think you have. And I don't think you like the answers you got when you did."
Eins crawled up onto Ash's shoulder.
"Is your dog...?" Lady House looked over at Eins.
Ash looked over his shoulder. "Huh? oh no. He's licking my ears, that's all."
Eins proceeded to actually lick Ash's ear.
*Lick*Lick*
"Ha, Ah, No! Hahaha. Eins stop it! Ha ha." Ash wrestled the dog off of his shoulder. "How would you like it if I did it to you?"
Ash put his lips over Eins' left ear and waggled his tongue across the dog's fur.
The look on Lady House's face was a mixture of confusion and disgust.
*Creak*
The door leading from the stairwell to the rooftop opened.
Privati looked down at Ash and Eins. “What are you doing?”
Ash spit out Eins’ ear. “Nothing.”
“Who are you? Are you spying on me?” Privati narrowed her eyes.
“No...” Ash said as suspiciously as was possible.
“Then why are you crouched down in a stairwell with my aunt?”
Ash glanced at Lady House. “I was trying to get some money from her. Why are you on a roof wearing a tent around your neck?”
“That’s none of your business. And what about you Aunt Winsome? Are you spying on me too?”
Lady House looked bored. “We have an appointment to keep today. I was only-”
“Are you sending Vance to check on me because you won’t do it yourself? You always let him do whatever he wants. And he’s not even related to you!” Privati ground one of her heels into the ground.
Vance scoffed. “Please. As if I would take you Aunts money. I have some pride.”
Privati turned on him. “You have nothing but pride Vance. If we weren’t already on the roof you would be bumping your head into the ceiling.”
“Careful Privati, keep your mouth open too long and you’re going to attract flies.” Vance sassed back.
“ Aren’t you late for another appointment floating face down in a drainage ditch?”
“Did you buy your sense of humor the same place you bought those tacky shoes?”
Ash and Lady House stood off to the side. Ash did his best not to smile. Lady House tapped her nails on the side of her thigh.
“Privati-” Lady House snapped the end off of her niece’s name.
“Yes… Aunty.” Privati curled her hands into fists.
“It’s a busy time for the Ocean’s Bounty. We have a lot to do. You, have a lot to do. There’s no time for these diversions of yours. Do I make myself clear?”
“Yes Aunt.”
“Good. Now come along. We’re going to be late for the Eaupéril presentation.” Lady House composed herself.
Ash’s head whipped around. “Wait. Who did you say was presenting?”
“One of the premiere fashion designers in the Kingdom. Mr Eaupéril. Have you heard of him?”
Ash and Eins looked at each other.
“No… probably not. Eaupéril… that’s a common name after all.”
Lady House raised an eyebrow. “Not really.”
Ash frowned. “No… you’re right, not really.”
“By the way, you seem familiar. Have I seen you and Vance together before?” asked Lady House.
Ash started backing up. “That would be… a strange coincidence. But I should hurry to go find my brother Luke and make sure that he’s okay. If Luke sees his father again it could be very uncomfortable.”
“I couldn't agree more.” Lady House pushed a strand of hair away from her neck.
“I’m sure you have- wait, why did you touch your neck?” Ash leaned forward.
“What?” Lady House paused.
“That thing you said- Your whole body language is different- Why aren’t you making eye contact with me right now?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Lady House examined her nails.
“Oh deer pellets! You know something don’t you? You know who Luke is. Did Luke see his father? Did he meet Mr Eaupéril?”
Lady House didn’t reply.
Ash leapt into the air. “I’ve got to get back down to the lobby!”
There was a *Pop* of magic that tasted like cinnamon and garlic.
*Sploosh*
A glob of viscous liquid as large as a laundry hamper hit the top step of the stairwell and then rolled down, coating the stairs in a layer of shiny substance.
“What is all of that?” Privati asked.
Ash ran over to the door. “Mineral oil. And a lot of it. Does anyone have a pender?”
Lady House took a coin out and flicked it to Ash. Ash caught it in the air.
“Thanks. Eins get the bottom bolt if you would.”
Using the coin Ash levered the door’s top hinge bolt out of place. Eins used a claw to get the bottom bolt. The door fell down to the ground and dangled over the top step of the stairwell. Ash kneeled down on top of the door.
“Well I gotta go. Be careful if you try to walk back down these steps, or I don’t know, pay someone to carry you down. Eins! Saddle up!”
Eins leapt through the air and landed on Ash’s back. The dog hooked its paws around Ash’s neck and held on.
“I’m ready!” Eins shouted.
Lady House glanced to the side. “That dog…”
Ash kicked off the top step.
The door tipped over and rocketed down the lubed up spiral staircase beneath it.
#
*Thump*Thump*Thump*Crash*
A door, a dog, and a boy slid into the Lobby of the Ocean’s Bounty.
“Eins! Double back and find the girls. Tell them that we’ll meet them back at the restaurant. I have to find Luke before something crazy happens.”
“On it!”
Eins barrel rolled off of Ash’s shoulder and took off into the game room.
The Belt Buckle Bouncer watched Ash skid twenty three meters across the open Lobby of the Gambling Hall.
“Hey… what are you…”
“No time to explain! My brother is in severe emotional distress!”