“Vance, why is your house so… empty?”

Ash looked around the mansion. At least… it looked like a mansion. From the outside. The ballroom was filled with nothing. The bedrooms… also filled with nothing. The spacious parlor with its high vaulted ceiling, tall windows, and carpeted floor was filled with so much nothing that you could hardly believe it.

Vance looked up. “I don’t do a lot of entertaining.”

“Don’t you at least have any chairs?” Ash asked.

“Who has time to sit around?” Vance shrugged his shoulders.

The only exception was the foyer. There were several piles of clothes scattered around the room. The piles seemed to be organized by color and size. One of the piles had a bed sheet draped over the top.

“Can we hurry this up? We have a shift later today.” Luke said.

Luke stood on top of a milk crate in the otherwise empty entryway. There was a cracked floor mirror (that Ash had summoned) in front of him. Luke rotated left and right while Vance held up a vest in front of him.

“It’s not too pompous is it?” Luke compared the color of the shirt he was wearing to the vest.

“We want pompous. It will make people underestimate you. When you step out onto the event stage we want the other contestants to have no idea what they’re in for. It will make your victory all the more surprising.” Vance held up a different vest. “When you win it’s really going to excite the crowd. People will be talking all the way up to the Hundred Aught Hundred Ought final event.”

“I feel like a stuffed shirt.” said Luke.

“You are a stuffed shirt. We’re using that to our advantage.”

Ash crouched over a pile of clothes in the corner of the room. Eins sat next to him on the floor. Ash pulled up a navy coat with gold buttons and held it up for Eins to see.

“What do you think about this one?” Ash asked.

“It’s a little thin. Can you find anything thicker?” Eins said.

“How about this one?”

Ash held up a long, white, ankle length overcoat. The coat had notched lapels and fur trim around the sleeves and collar. Three silver buckles crossed over the waist and there were patches on the elbows sewn in with silver thread.

Eins gave the coat a sniff. “That should work.”

Ash stood up and draped the coat over Luke’s shoulders. “And this overcoat too.” He said.

Vance pouted. “I don’t know. We’re trying to walk a delicate line here between ostentatious and artless. This coat doesn’t really match the rest of the ensemble.”

Ash rolled his eyes. “What does it matter? They’re only clothes. Fashion is stupid really. It’s just vanity and narcissism.”

“That sounds like what a forgettable person would say.” Vance said.

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Ash looked around the room. “Does Bede mind that you borrow so many clothes from his costume wardrobe?”

“He won’t mind if we don’t tell him.” Vance gave a sarcastic smile.

#

Vance, Ash, and Luke jogged up the central hill in Kaseihgaeu. Luke carried Eins in his arms.

“Ah! We spend too long picking out clothes. We’re going to miss registration.” Ash puffed.

“Come on. You can do it. One leg in front of the other.” Eins barked.

“Easy for you to say. You’re not even running.”

“My little legs would only slow you down.” Eins wiggled its forepaws.

“Can’t you fly? You have wings.” Luke asked.

“Yes… But flying is hard…” Eins whined.

“Come on boys. I can see the Ocean’s Bounty just up ahead.” Vance shouted. “Ah bumbleduck! There’s a line around the entire building! Which is a problem for us because we need to get inside. But this will not be easy since the hall can hold tens of thousands of people. Not to mention this is a very popular destination because of the tournament. Which means there will be even more people than normal.”

“We get it!” Ash panted while he gripped onto a nearby park bench.

“How are we going to get in?” Luke looked over the massive crowd.

“I’ve got this. Follow me.” Ash waved at the others.

#

The Tattooed Bouncer casually squeezed a padded grip trainer as he lounged next to the side door leading into the Ocean’s Bounty.

Ash, Luke, and Vance walked up towards the entryway. Eins was perched on Luke’s shoulder partially hidden by his furry overcoat.

Ash waved at the Bouncer. “Hey there. Me again. We’re just heading inside.”

The Bouncer held up a hand. “Sorry gentlemen. We are at capacity today. No one else comes in or out til the event is over.”

“Oh really? That’s too bad.” Ash smiled at the bouncer. “What’s the event?”

“It’s a big day. The final qualifying match for the Hundred Aught Hundred Ought contest. Do the three of you… and your dog, have tickets.” The Tattooed Bouncer crossed his muscly arms.

Ash continued smiling. “We sure don’t. Ah shucks. That’s too bad. We were really hoping to get inside.”

The Bouncer continued his flexing. “You’re not getting in through here today.”

Ash shook his head. “That’s too bad. Well we might as well take a break and have a snack. What do you say gentlemen?”

Ash turned around and pulled a package out from behind his back. He opened the package. There were six small palm sized wax and craft paper containers surrounded by cubes of ice. He pulled one out and handed it to Luke.

“Here you go. One for you. And one for Vance as well.” Ash handed out the containers.

“Bark.”

“Eins can have one but someone needs to hold the container for him. I don’t want him making a mess everywhere.”

Luke pulled the top off of the container exposing a milky white liquid inside.

“What is that?” The Tattooed Bouncer craned his neck.

“Oh nothing. Just some banana yogurt made by a Combat Baker.” said Ash.

“Did you say Combat Baker?” The Tattooed Bouncer’s fingers flexed.

“Yeah it’s packed full of protein and potassium. Almost too much potassium for me. I don’t even have any muscle cramps right now and yet I can still feel my tissues loosening.” Ash opened a package. He used a wooden spoon to scoop up some yogurt.

The Tattooed Bouncer licked his lips.

“And you said it was made by a Combat Baker?” he asked.

“Oh yeah. I happened to know the signature chef of the E’teary restaurant in lower Kaseihgaeu. One of the most ‘food based’ dining establishments in the entire City.”

“The E’teary. I’ve heard of that place.”

Ash stumbled. “You have? I mean of course you have. It’s great! Ah dang. Look at me here, talking to you about all of this lovely yogurt that I can’t possibly eat by myself. I would hate to drag it all the way back down the hill. It might spoil. All that protein would go to waste.”

“No. Can’t have that.” The Tattooed Bouncer nodded.

“What to do? What to do?” Ash tapped the spoon against his chin.

“You know… I might have an idea.”