The Stalwart Gate Guard *Yawned*. He slouched against his spear.

The Charmed Adjuster checked her notes.

The Gate Guard waved another group of tourists through the city checkpoint.

The Adjuster made a tally on her clipboard.

“Do you play Card Bark?” she asked.

“Huh?” The Gate Guard responded.

“You know, the card game? In your free time?”

“Huh? Uh, no.” The Gate Guard examined a tourist’s luggage, then waved them through.

The Adjuster made another tally.

“Do you like Groundball?” she asked.

“Huh?” The Gate Guard responded.

“I saw you wearing a Kneadle Knucklebones team jacket.”

“Oh, yeah. They’re pretty good.” The Gate Guard replied.

The Charmed Adjuster tapped a pencil against her clipboard.

The Stalwart Gate Guard clicked his teeth.

The placid sun gazed down on them both.

The Charmed Adjuster bit her lip. “So I was wondering, do you like coffee, or maybe you drink tea, or wine, schnapps, you must get thirsty standing out here all day, so if you wanted to…” she trailed off.

The Guard shielded his eyes and stared down the road.

“You see that?” The Guard asked.

“What?” The Adjuster replied.

“There?”

“Where?”

“There!”

“What?”

“It.” he pointed.

“No I don’t see it.”

“You don’t see it?”

“No.”

“Really?” he asked.

“No.” she huffed.

“No really or really no?”

“What?”

If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

“I said…”

“No. What is that?” The Charmed Adjuster shielded her eyes and stared down the road.

A cloud of dust was screaming down the road in their direction.

“What is it?” The Adjuster willed her eyes to magnify the image. Her eyes did the best they could.

The cloud grew closer. The screaming grew louder. A sound like an exploding furnace echoed over the horizon.

“E-everyone, clear the road!” The Stalwart Gate Guard stuttered.

Several tourists turned in curiosity.

“I said Clear The Road!” The Gate Guard wasn’t asking this time.

Tourists scrambled out of the way. Mothers grabbed their daughters. Fathers grabbed their sons. Wives grabbed their husbands. Merchants grabbed their wallets.

The road into town emptied. The Stalwart Gate Guard, alone, stood in the path.

The exploding sound got louder.

“What are you doing?” The Adjuster called from behind a cart.

“I’m the Guard. I have to guard the gates.” Sweat poured down the Guard’s neck.

#

The cloud of dust rocketed down the road into town. There was a final *POP* and the exploding sound disappeared and was replaced by grinding metal.

The Gate Guard wiped sweat from his brow. “Is that a…”

The haze of dust parted to reveal Tasha’s carriage plowing down the road at an uncomfortable speed.

“...halt…”

The carriage didn’t seem to hear him.

The Gate Guard braced himself.

The carriage clattered ahead.

The Stalwart Gate Guard tightened his grip on his spear.

*Crack*Screee* The vehicle shuddered. There was the sound of metal grinding on metal.

Tasha’s carriage rolled to a gentle stop three centimeters from the Guard’s chest. The frame of the carriage creaked with exhaustion. The wheels sizzled with burned bits of hay. A cloud of dust billowed off of the vehicle in all directions. The watching tourists covered their mouths.

*Cough*Cough*

The Gate Guard breathed a sigh of relief.

A half exploded bale of hay tipped off the roof, hitched on the yoke, struck the Gate Guard on the collarbone, and flattened him to the ground.

#

*Groan*

“Everyone still got all their fingers and toes?” Tasha shouted in the cab.

Luke shoved aside a pile of junk. “I think I’m okay.”

*Rattle*

Ash sat up. He spit out a mouth of dry grass. “So much for a shower.”

Ave stretched her leg. “I think I twisted my ankle again.”

“Can’t… breathe…” Eins whimpered under a box of bells.

“Let me get that.” *Jingle*Jangle* Luke moved the box aside.

“Was your carriage supposed to do that?” Ash called.

“Do what?” Tasha inquired.

“Explode.” Ash added dryly.

“It was supposed to go fast. I got the idea from an apocryphal schematic I found. But I never tested it at that speed. Actually… I never tested it at all.” Tasha chewed a nail.

“Well, you still saved our lives.” Eins put a reassuring paw on Tasha’s knee.

“Thank you.”

Luke looked out a window. “Guys, I think we made it to Kaseihgaeu.”

“That’s good.” Ash replied.

“But there are a lot of people gathered around.”

“That’s bad.”

“Also there’s a Guard collapsed in front of the carriage.”

“That’s worse.”

“That Guard isn’t going to be happy with us.” Tasha cringed.

“Yeah. And he’s really not going to be happy when he learns I’m the Royal Summoner.” Luke added.

“What?” Tasha stopped.

“Ah…oops.” Luke closed his eyes.

“Nothing!” Ash inserted. “He’s a liar, I mean a professional liar, I mean an actor. He’s performing a skit. From a play.” he smiled a smile that was way too wide.

“Is that true?” Tasha quavered.

“No… But Luke, my dear friend, you really have got to stop telling people that.”