Desk Officer Soppurt leaned back in his chair.

The lights outside the city dimmed.

He brushed a stray strand of hair away from his eyebrows. He rubbed at a spot of mustard on his shirt. He rotated one of the rings on his fingers.

The arc-lamp on his desk flickered.

Soppurt scooted up and flicked the bulb with his middle finger.

*Tic*Tap*

The bulb responded to his percussive maintenance and resumed normal operations.

Desk Officer Support leaned back in his chair.

The city was dark now.

He started humming to himself.

The front door of the Guard Station *Creaked* open.

The Stalwart Gate Guard shuffled inside. The young Guard pumped his fist in salute.

“Officer Soppurt. I have returned from guard duty sir.” The Stalwart Gate Guard snapped his heels together with a ferocity that would make a cobbler flinch.

Soppurt’s right ear wiggled. “I keep telling you I am not your commanding officer. I am merely your superior in rank.”

“As you say sir!” The Stalwart Gate Guard pumped his fist again somehow still maintaining roughly ninety percent sincerity in his actions.

Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.

Soppurt waved a hand dismissively.

“At ease Guardsman Hardtack. Your dedication is a lesson to us all.”

“As you say sir. It is time for us to be relieved by the Cateye shift sir. If you are prepared sir, I shall submit my shift report and surrender my weapons to the armory.”

Soppurt leaned back and looked at the ceiling. “It’s not an armory Hardtack, it’s a cabinet.”

“As you say sir. Here is my report.”

Guardsman Hardtack pulled out a sheaf of papers as thick as a cutting board.

Soppurt eyed the stack out of the corner of his eye. “Itching earwax, where do you find the time Hardtack?”

“I make sure to catalogue every visitor to the Gates of Kaseihgaeu with exceptional thoroughness sir.”

“So I see…”

“Sir?”

“Hmmm?”

“Would you like to add anything to the report before it’s filed?”

“Hmmm,nnnooo….”

*Ahem* “It’s just the Le Tenat didn’t submit a report yesterday.”

“Nope.”

“Or the day before that. Or the week before that. Or the month before that.”

Soppurt rocked back in his chair. “Sometimes the days are quiet and there’s nothing to report. How about you? Any more weather irregularities to report today?”

Hardtack looked down at his boots. “Er… no sir.”

“Good. Now go and turn in your gear. Let’s get out of here before those Cateye idiots turn the lights out on us again.”

“As you say sir.”

The Stalwart Gate Guard walked over to a cabinet in the corner and started to remove his gear.

Desk Officer Soppurt flicked a loose cloth braid that was pinned to his shoulder. He stared up at a fountain pen that was embedded, tip first, into one of the wooden beams of the ceiling.

Soppurt smirked. He sat up and pulled an identical fountain pen from one of his desk drawers. With a *Sigh* he leaned over and made a single note on the day’s activity ledger.

~Smoking Guard~

“There. Paperwork finished.”