Myles did not love it. If he didn’t know better he would think Llex was making it up. The fernseherfett had a kind of alpha, four of them, one for each colour. They were bigger, meaner and a lot stronger than the regular packs he was used to fighting. More interestingly they had something of a primitive culture that worshiped a sun deity. Apparently to gain their attention he needed to dress up like that deity. Fernseherfett were linked, not like the pseudo hive mind of the whistlers but a more direct one to one psychic messenger service. The idea was to get them riled up, or curious or something. Myles didn’t know, he had tuned Llex out after learning he needed to dress up. The costume was bright orange, yellow and very circular. Myles brushed a bit floppy flame out of his face and faced down the approaching fernseherfett

“Llex you will be in for a very long cold and lonely winter if you are making this up.”

“It’s alright, now say the incantation.” said Llex

Myles took a deep breath and decided to get it over with.

“The sun baby laughs in the age of the fernseherfett! Tinkle winkle dipsol largh largh poh. Speak Eyh Oh! The sun baby laughs!” said Myles with the enthusiasm of a board sloth.

The fernseherfett had stopped in their tracks and were now staring blankly at Myles. One of the purple fernseherfett turned to the others and shrugged.

“Llex it didn’t work” Said Myles

“Didn’t do the dance did you.” Said Llex “It won’t work if you don’t do the dance.”

Myles brushed the floppy decorative flame out of his face once more. He sighed, resolved himself for what he needed to do and did the dance.

“The sun baby laughs in the age of the fernseherfett! Tinkle winkle dipsol largh largh poh. Speak Eyh Oh! The sun baby laughs!” said Myles, this time with the dance moves Llex had explained to him. He felt like a right tit, waving his arms around and bouncing about like a hyperactive child.

The fernseherfett were laughing, at least it looked like they were laughing.

“Llex, why isn’t this working.”

“They don’t speak English do they. Why would it work.” Said Llex “All you have to do is kill a bunch dressed like their object of worship and a king will soon be on its way.”

“I hate you so much right now Llex” said Myles, bating the limp solar flare away from his face.

“I played the same jape on John back in the sixties.” said Llex, joyfully pleased with himself “Better get kicking bum Myles the buggers are charging.”

Swearing under his breath Myles burst forward towards the oncoming fae costume flapping in the wind resistance.. It was insane. He knew it and Llex knew it. Probably why the A.I was chuckling to himself

“Here comes the sun dick bags!” Shouted Myles as he crashed into the scrum of fernseherfett.

A green fernseherfett’s head snapped backwards, detaching from its neck before bouncing and rolling away. Myles’s hand glided out snaring a red fernseherfett by the neck. Myles squeezed, lifted and slammed down hard. A fierce kick to his side forced him off balance allowing two yellows to rain down punches on the prone Myles. A falling first was met by Knuckle Buster and a yellow fernseherfett was shot into the air trailing red sparks and spurting fae blood from where the things arm used to be. The second yellow distracted by its twin rocketing upwards felt its knee crack and bend the wrong way. Rising to his feet and still in full costume Myles caught the remaining yellow with a vicious headbutt giving it a face like a bucket of smashed crabs. Hello number two dropped to the floor like a marionette with severed strings. Purple, the last fae standing rushed Myles but a punch to the gut stopped it dead. Arm buried up to his elbow in the fernseherfett he lit up the Knuckle Buster frying the tubby fae from the inside out. Hands free, Myles batted the floppy orange sun flare out of his face before just ripping it off and throwing it to the floor.

“See, no problem.” said Llex “No just fight three or four more groups and that should be enough to make one of the Kings take notice.”

Myles thought about sticking Llex up the bum of one of these so called Kings and leaving him there.

It took only two more groups for a fernseherfett to appear. Llex suggested that his dancing had been an act so profane the King was forced to intervene early. Myles had made sure to be at the old quarry. If this was going to be a difficult fight, and it sounded like it would be, he wanted it to be away from people. A terrain that was full of cover, bloodspots and property he did not care about breaking was also a big bonus.The giant purple monster was big, not big like a fat bloke down the pub, but big like an elephant. It was bigger than the Nobel of the Engine Dynasty and the ground rumbled as its slow methodical steps brought it ever closer to Myles. It looked for all intents and purposes like a sized up version of a regular purple fernseherfett, albeit a touch fatter. It wore a comically small crown of f burnished metal and it carried a sceptre made of the same. Though a club may be more accurate. Myles was not here to play fair. He didn’t wait, he leaped, aiming for centre mass and punching blazing red thunder into the monster. The Monsters gut wobbled as it bounced Myles backwards. He skidded before picking himself back up. The club came smashing down, Myles had barely the time to dodge. But dodge he must, he knew he was strong and tough but thinking he was invincible was an invitation to be disabused of the notion in short order. The purple King stepped again towards Myles, lifting the burnished metal club ready to strike down So Myles dashed towards the temporary office the workers had used. The purple King plodding after him, it’s face making an expression like a bulldog chewing a wasp.

Its size and insulation made blunt force trauma an inefficient means of subjugation. Myles was still not as well equipped as he would like but he had given himself options. He summoned the Neon Thunder Spear to his hand. Instead of trying to double back or run around the cabin, Myles dove through the window, ran through and dove back out, the shattered glass barely having time to hit the floor. The big bugger had been rounding the corner in pursuit of the tiny blasphemer. It outclassed Myles in both strength and durability, it could have pursued Myles longer than he could have kept going suit or not. But it did not outclass Myles in speed. The purple King had barely turned around when tendons were slashed. It let out a deep basso roar. The knee joints were next.

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“This what you want? I’m right here” taunted Myles.

“Do the dance again.” Said Llex

The dance was not required as the purple King took a lumbering step towards Myles before its legs gave way. The ability to adequately control its lower limbs removed the colossal fernseherfett came crashing down. As the beast went down, Myles went up. He jumped on top of the temporary office and leaped higher again from its roof. From that hight Myles drove the Neon Thunder Spear deep into the back of the fernseherfett King’s head and discharged as much power as he could muster turning its brain into a charred mess. Myles knew he had no business winning in terms of skill or power… yes he was strong but he had a ways to go yet. So he would use each and every dirty trick, every cheap shot and every blade in the back he could. Why get into a pissing contest he couldn’t win when he could cheat and end the fight quickly. The bunny armour dematerialised signalling the lack of present fae. As a relent, he put the large fae in storage including its crown and club. It gave him a certain sense of schadenfreude that Sweetbright Industries would be finding very little in the way of fae material if he could help it.

“Okay Llex, whats the next step now I have it” said Myles opening his Menu ready

“What you want to do now is cut the antennae off before you put it in the storage.” said Llex helpfully

Myles booted an abandoned hardhat. At least the suit would be eating well.

Two days later Myles had the antennae of a King fernseherfett. Purple had gone right inside the suit as base materials never to return. Red had been broken in the fight. Yellow, yellow was now in his hands. It was large, squishy and he hated touching it.

“Now I just make the call? No ritual, no plugging it into anything… please? asked Myles.

“Yup, just hold it up and make the call.” said Llex.

“I can’t believe I can finally get a message out.” said Myles.

“I can’t believe you wore a fancy dress outfit of a celestial body for three days.” Said Llex.

Myles ignored Llex and flicked to the contacts on his virtual menu screen. This time he was going to sack off messaging and try a direct phone call. He hit call. He got a dial tone. After there rings the line was picked up.

“Myles, is that you? what the fuck is going on with you at the moment? where are you?” Said Zara

“To answer your questions one at a time. Yes. I’m stuck in something I believe the community refers to as a turn and thirdly my old hometown which apparently no one can remember the name of because insert fae bullshit here.” Said Myles

“Hold up while I get a coffee and a note pad. You better give me the long version.” Said Zara, all business.

The whole tale was recounted as best Myles could. From the involvement of Sweetbright, John Barrington shutting down the gates from the other side. Cerulean Sweet being jacked up on Trigger based Tech to them artificially inducing a turn. The Whistlers to him currently holding the large fleshy curly antennae.

“So this might be my one call out unless I can get the last fernseherfett King to show up.” Said Myles

“I’ll see about a protective detail on Betty, we were thinking of bringing her in anyway. She is such a hoot, we all love her to bits… As for the Turn, I’ll reach out to the Fairy Trigger side of the community and see what’s up. We will also investigate Sweetbright.”

“How is it you are all hanging out with my Mum?” said Myles, asking the real questions

“Yes, about that, never visiting, you are a very bad son Myles. Betty is an absolute treasure”

“I saw her loads and the stubborn old bat refused to move away from Stonebridge, and excuse me for subconsciously reacting to a dangerous predatory genius loci that was on the community kill on sight list for decades.” Said Myles who was not about to let his mother pin everything on him.

“Don’t you Dare use bat as a pejorative” said Zara, who had a point this time what with her whole bat motif.

“Just… please send help and I’m very grateful.” said Myles who felt he had lost control of an argument he was not sure when it started

“I will” said Zara. “Oh an Myles”

“Yes Zara.”

“I bet that big antennae make it look like you are waving a massive cock around.” said Zara right before hanging up.

Myles stood alone in the park as the wind made the yellow antennae bob about. The bloody thing did look a bit like a big cock. Oh well. The message had been sent out, the right people in the community knew the score. Now it was on him to survive, keep everyone alive or at least figure a way to get people out before everyone died. So, no pressure.

The chattering in the office was in full swing. It was eleven o’ clock and most everyone had a coffee, tea and access to plenty of cake with optional fresh fruit. Business was good and there was a looming possibility of fresh materials from some town. No one bothered to remember its name since the proximity of the Fae realm made it a futile exercise. Maybe once it was all over the record cold be updated. But until then it was business as usual. The office gossip however had taken an unusual turn. After the Luminary had been placed under medical care, he had handed the reigns of leadership over to a young woman who while promising was deemed by the rank and file as a typical nepo-baby. Thus, contempt had bled into the office zeitgeist.

“I head she went to all that effort because she fancied that Trigger User, you know ,the new one who looks like a rabbit.” Said the designated office matron.

“I know right, she is such a pygmy girl.”

“Running after a man like that its kind of sad, but the poor dear can’t help it the chemistry was radiating off the report… did you just say Pygmy girl?”

“Yea, you know what I mean, the kids are all saying it. Not sure what anthropology has to do with dating though, but I thought I’d chip in.

“Jane, the phrase is pick-me girl’ not Pygmy girl. Sandra is rather tall for a woman.”

“Now I think of it Beverly, I suppose anthropology has quite a lot to do with dating.”

“Whatever Jane. The point is, this silly girl jumped the queue by knowing people instead of putting the work in like the rest of us then goes and gets her head turned around by some silly boy and his fancy suit and why are you looking at me like that Jane?”

Jane, already a pale woman had felt the blood drain from her face and was now pushing the boundaries on acceptable shades of still living skin.

“I mean, Sandra, must have put the work in to get where she is now.” Said Beverly, who was not entirely stupid.

“Could you clarify a few things for me Beverly?” asked Sandra Bright.

“Yes Ms Bright.”

“How many times have I met Myles Endeavour in person?”

“Twice….. no, once.”

“Right, and he was a massive prick, but apparently I have chemistry with some annoying arsehole I met one time. Tell me Beverly, when you tried to attract your husband did you sell his mother to his sworn enemies.”

“No, Ms Bright.”

“I’m not fond of people crossing me Beverly. While I can tolerate a certain amount of gossip, to be fair you can’t really stop it, the level of stupid coming out of your mouth needs to be put to rest.”

Beverly was grabbed from behind by a pair of guards. The middle aged women couldn’t resist the sheer force of the guards. Beverly tried to pull away was helpless to stop the restraints being put in place. Fear and indignation were warring on her face.

“Am I being escorted out, are you letting me go?”

“Don’t be silly Beverly, this is just a mild disciplinary action, no one is being made redundant. You are simply being reassigned to cleaning the bathrooms for a week”

“But why have you restrained my arms? won’t I need them?”

“I’m sure you will figure it out Beverly.”

The look of horror that dawned on Beverly’s face was a delight to Sandra Bight. She couldn’t deny being a nepo-baby. her Grandfathers name was on top of evert company letterhead or logo. But she had lived and breathed the company since she was a small child. Disrespect would not be tolerated. The fear Beverly had felt had spread across the open plan floor. The stick had been a success. But at Sweetbright they looked after the people who did well and tow’d the line.

“Today, lunch is on me, I want you to see Jane after and put your orders in.”

Sandra Pulled Jane in close to whisper.

“Make sure whoever you order from, the food is as spicy as you can get it, good people into trying hotter and get plenty of sides..”

“Ms Bright?”

“Spicy! because fuck Beverly and her idiot ideas.”

The granddaughter of the non-living founder took one last glance around the room before leaving. She had an empire to manage she would make the..

“Mark, put the glue down, work is neither the time nor the place.” she shouted across the office at a man sheepishly taking the adhesive stick away from his nose.

… She would make the Luminary proud.