Monsters were real. At the very least the one chasing Myles Endeavour was real, at least it looked real… Aside from a few things being off, a rotund middle held up by pink spindly limbs and a face with a long trunk like snout. But worse and this was the one Myles found hardest to articulate, its FPS was acting up giving it that horror movie jitter. He was good at noticing these things, although what he actually wanted to notice was a means of escape. Lacking any useful input from his brain Myles kept running but towards what he had no idea. The shortcut through the park had been a fantastic idea at the time, stay late at work to get a jump on the next project, text his workmates to get a pint in, cut through the park and join them for a drink before heading home to beans on toast and a comfy bed. A flawless evening with just the right but safe amount of fun. Unfortunately for Myles a big bloody monster landing right in front of him had shat all over his plan and got him all turned around in this big bloody park.
Despite refusing to deliver a fully formed escape plan Myles brain was still noticing things, like how despite long powerful legs the monster wasn’t catching up, it wasn’t falling behind either, it… was matching his pace. He wanted to believe he would have reached the logical conclusion to that train of thought if the second monster hadn’t stepped out of the trees a dozen meters ahead saving him the mental effort. This second monster looked much like the first, a huge bulk up top, limbs more fitting for a gazelle but with oversized claw tipped hands and feet and that creepy angry snout. The darkness concealed most of the facial features but for one thing. The eyes glowed a hollow white.
Myles was for his faults and jittery nature actually good in a crisis, but it was more like putting it off until later. If he made it tonight there would be some crying and rocking back and forth under a running shower to work through everything. Or maybe it was just time to crack open one of the special rum bottles he never quite found a reason to start and hope tonight was erased by the power of alcohol. First thought he needed to not get caught.Myles had middling fitness at best, but more importantly he could think. Adding more strain to his already burning lungs he sped up in those last few paces. The second Monster swiped a huge hand towards him only to find fresh air as Myles ducked and rolled under its legs and sprang back up.
“Whooooooee-uueet” one of the things whistled in frustration.
The Monster chasing Myles hit the path where Myles should have been had he not darted left for the trees. The crack of stone was not lost on him. Whatever debts his body would call in later would be gladly payed so long as he was still alive to pay them. Another hideous whistle was heard as he put himself out of their line of sight. darting between the trees. Myles kept himself, as far as he could tell, out of their sight only stopping to catch his breath once he estimated a relatively safe distance had been put between them. Was getting his phone out a bad idea? Probably. But running blind in fuck knows what direction wasn’t exactly a galaxy brain move either. Carefully, Myles got his phone out, cupping the screen to block the light as best he could and brought up the map. By sheer luck Myles was a ninety degree turn and about four hundred meters away from safety. If he was careful then getting to safety was possible.
As if to rebuke him personally for daring to hope Myles received a text message, the notification tone was a thunderous contrast to the quiet night of the park.
“Whoooooooooee-uueet”
John from Work
Mate, where are you? The Fosters I got you is getting warm!
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“I fucking hate Fosters” said Myles starting towards the pub as all pretentious of a stealthy exit were lost. The two creatures clearly knew about his waiting pint and were on their way.
Working his legs harder than he had in years Myles covered half the distance needed before tripping over something, no, not tripping, pushed forward by the force of a blow to his back. Pain burned across his back as he flew through the air. landing and rolling onto his sore back Myles saw six pairs of glowing white eyes loom over him in the dark.
“Whooee-uueet” came the Monsters unsettling whistle.
The expectation was for claws slashing and cutting into flesh. So being tenderised like a cheap cut of meat was was a surprise. Protecting his head as best he could Myles was powerless against the onslaught of blows. Beaten back time and again by the monsters boney knuckles Myles Endeavour could no longer see a way out, he would never see the benefit of those extra hours in the office, he would never get his pint… He would never get his beans on toast. Fuck that thought Myles.
He kicked out. while bereft of skill the motion contained every ounce of survival instinct left in his body. By pure luck the kick connected with a slight non-human shin. The injured thing cried out in pain distracting the others. A chance Myles took to get his feet under him and escape. With burning lungs and leaden limbs he bolted towards freedom. A flat out sprint was an effort at the best of times and absolutely beyond him right now. Not only as a physical feat but whatever the monstrous beings were it was clear they could run him down. So Myles zigged and zagged through the trees once more if there where more waiting for him he’d be dead, but as far as he could tell all other options left him no better off.
As the creatures came after him, no longer were they content to play and Myles, to the chagrin of his mysterious hunters, very nearly made it. He could see the exit of the park but he was slowing down, exhausted. The pain coming from the wounds on his back and whatever else was broken was becoming too hard to ignore despite the adrenaline coursing through his veins.
Slammed to the floor and encircled by the monsters Myles, tired and bleeding rose to his feet once more. At the very least, he would die on his feet.
“Whoooooooooee-uueeeeeeeeet whooee-uueet whooee-uueet”
He didn’t need to understand the social cues of whatever these abominations were, he understood on an instinctual level that this was laughter. These things were laughing at him.
“I don’t know if you can understand me” Myles said as he looked the one he decided was the leader right in its empty glowing eyes. “But I want you utter piss stains to know two things, first, go fuck yourselves and second, each and every one of your mothers sucks a bag of dicks her her breakfast and then flosses with pubes. Your mothers are all so ugly they would need to be coved in raw meat to make a dog play with them. Your mothers are so disgusting that…”
The insult was cut short by a sharp blow to the face. Then dead silence. They were no longer laughing. Myles felt his blood run cold as their gaze bore into him. He felt the hatred in those looks, but he stood firm determined not to cower before these unnatural beings. The one he had designated leader drew back for what he presumed would be the killing blow.
The monster who was moments from claiming his life did something utterly unexpected. Its head exploded.
“Kid, you need to get the fuck down” said a voice from the dark.
Not needing much in the way of encouragement Myles got the fuck down. The cacophony of violence was a huge contrast to the eerie silence he had endured in the hunt. He looked back up to see what he could only describe as a knight, gun in one hand sword in the other, blasting, slicing and kicking seven shades of shit out of the monsters. The warrior practically danced among the unnatural pink creatures, cutting off limbs and shooting to kill. By Myles reckoning it had taken less than thirty seconds.
The man who had saved Myles Endeavour was not wearing some cos-play replica or museum piece. Whatever it was it looked alien and futuristic. But mostly it looked dangerous. It was black with glowing pink highlights… It was the coolest thing Myles had ever seen.
After the Knight had killed the monsters. he stood on guard for what seemed like an age. Myles noticed his helmet was styled like a cat, ears and all. His sword and gun turned to smoke then he reached down offering a hand to Myles, pulling him to his feet.
“Thanks, I have so many questions, I was sure I was going to die, I think I possibly still might.”
When Myles saw it, another Monster, half again as large as the others, he had little time to react. it was charging towards them faster than anything nature should allow. Without thinking Myles knocked the armoured warrior out of the way, just in time to feel claws rip into his guts. Myles tasted copper as he heard several of the warriors gun blasts and a thud as the last creature fell, then footsteps. Myles felt something pressed into his hand and heard one last thing before the world went black.
“HARMLESS LITTLE BUNNY LEAPS FOR THE STARS”