Complimentary jams were preventing Myles’ kitchen cupboard from closing properly. Technically complimentary, Myles had relocated them as a petty vengeance for denying him his preserved fruity luxury at breakfast.
“Jam for days Charlie.” Myles said to his unimpressed cat who was only hanging around in case of chicken. “I guess you are more of a marmalade guy.” The orange cat did not reply because he was a cat, but coincidentally his silence was the reply that joke deserved.
It was dinner time in the Endeavour household and cooking had become more manageable again now his suit had settled down. His body was still burning extra calories but Myles was now only requiring enthusiastic gym bro levels of sustenance as opposed too feeling like he was feeding a teenage football team. The timer he had set pinged and the chicken roasting was done. He set some aside too cool so Charlie could have a treat later and carved up a large quantity for his dinner and placed the legs in tin for him lunch tomorrow. The Chicken, broccoli and brown rice combination was healthy, but he was seriously going to invest in spices as soon as he could.
Food eaten and the furry food disposal unit fed and watered Myles set about one of his least favourite activities, DIY. Growing up with a single mother he had taken over the DIY jobs as soon as he had been big enough, Betty Endeavour had regarded it as an even bigger chore than he did. Sp Myles was well practiced but his brain labeled it work so he was usually reluctant to come home and do it. But that evening shelves were raised up, knobs were replaced. Loose hinges tightened and their squeaks struck silent. Not a wall in the house was safe. Pictures. Were. Hung. Admittedly, having the bunny suit equipped made the work a lot easier. All that was left for Myles was the clean up.
Charlie glared at the hoover as the dust and house detritus was sucked into a paper bag. Myles was proud of himself. He wondered how many more times he would need to perform an activity before the suit would generate options based on it. Charlie decided to flex at the hoover beast to remind it who the real apex predator was by plonking right in front of it and cleaning his crotch. Myles checked his suits options, but as expected nothing new was available. He supposed after an apparent resurrection expecting the universe to give him free handouts and upgrade leg ups was being cheeky. He wondered what John Barrington was up to, probably putting John Marquis through his paces in a park somewhere. That being said, it was time for his evening patrol. Myles had grown up unknowingly feeling the gaze of an eldritch predator on him, he had lost friends and peers to the now dead thing. Now with the means to do something about that kind of thing, he was beginning to feel a sense of duty in regards fighting the fae. Maybe that was the suits influence, but the old impulses to keep safe and avoid trouble were not as loud as they once were. Thus he had decided to begin not just training but seeking out any stray fae that were wondering into town. Myles hoped the armour was watertight as it was chucking it down.
One lap around the town it seemed, was sufficient to draw the attention of a couple of strays. The first was a Billunben. It looked exactly the same as the previous one, though Myles assumed he was probably just some sort of fae racist for not being able to tell them apart. The fight was short and gave him a little insight in why John Barrington was so deadly. He used his experience and rather than try to restrain it or get locked into fighting its armoured whip like arms he closed the distance. Up close and personal Myles made use of the Knuckle Busters and put a hole right through where he judged the eye to be. The mostly intact Billunben corpse was then drawn into his inventory for digestion?… Dismantling?… Absorbing? He would need to decided on the least disgusting terminology. The fae had been eliminated in short order with almost zero destruction, the heavy rain washing the goop from his fist. Myles gave himself a mental pat on the back before being smashed through the window of a blue Audi.
The impact left Myles rattled as a few remaining shards of broken glass tinkled down with the raindrops. He made an attempt to remove himself from the shattered car window but was pulled free by his foot barely comprehending the arc he was moving in before being greeted by asphalt. Managing to turn his head Myles saw a large purple fernseherfett. The fae creature was larger than the other four he had encountered. It was also a deeper shade of purple, a sign of age maybe? The thought was interrupted by a handbag crashing into his chest. The disturbing thing had fashioned a weapon by filling a handbag full of something heavy. It was again swung like a flail battering Myles’ chest piece. He was very glad of the armour at that moment, his ribs protested that maybe the armour could work just that little bit harder. Twisting his body to try and get out from the purple fernseherfetts grip aggravated it into swinging Myles up into the air and bringing him down even harder. The healthy dinner so readily devoured earlier staged a comeback inside the helmet, much to Myles’ disgust. The handbag smacked directly into the faceplate breaking off the left half. The damage was a telling indication of this fernseherfetts strength. Myles slightly fuzzy brain conjured an idea but he needed to time it just right. The handbag came down and Myles caught it in both hands. Before the fernseherfett could inflict another parabolic arch on him Myles drew back a fist adding as much power as he could to the Knuckle Buster and punched the handbag into the face of the purple fernseherfett. A car alarm sounded a few streets away where the remains of the bag had landed. Fait red mist hung about the neck of the now headless monster. It took a few steps then collapsed onto the road beneath it. That was two, dismissing the armour he pulled the corpse into the sub-space storage and limped away clutching his chest. He wondered if the suit had a function that would let him know if bed rest was all he needed or if he should be going to hospital. As if that was not bad enough, Myles was now soaked through and had sick on his face. It was clearly bedtime o’clock.
This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.
Trudging home, alive and not quite well Myles hoped he wouldn’t encounter another fae. His white battle armour and weapons would need time to repair, mostly the weapons if the counters in the menu had been any indication. Maybe not a huge inconvenience but he would be far from his best for the next couple of hours. Hopefully he was not underestimating the Triggers ability to heal his body. The route home took him up a path where once a railway ran before that network had been gutted and later sold off to foreign interests. The limping Myles was lost in the nostalgia of a time gone by and was thud taken by surprise as the red sparks jolted amount and his armour was re-summoned.
“Ballsacks.” said Myles summing up the situation with perfect accuracy.
Out of the dark tunnel ahead of him came the biggest fae he had seen so far. It was long and clearly mechanical, about the size of a train. In the middle of the green boxy contraption a grotesquely human faced gastropod appeared to be controlling everything. it came to a halt and gave Myles a quizzical look. Is next action took Myles utterly by surprise. It spoke.
“Oh, it’s one of your type of human, no wonder I am feeling so vexed all of a sudden.” Said the fae, its voice had more than a little hiss.
“You can talk?” exclaimed Myles who was feeling a little punch drunk.
“Most of what you call fae can talk, but the higher among us often learn the language of our future slaves. I did have a mind to take you, but you seem to be one of those bothersome apes who can’t help fight us.”
White rabbit armour leaped fist first towards the sickening face. Myles had heard the word slaves and decided weapon cool down be damed, this thing was going to get beaten down hard. Myles bounced off some kind of energy shield and landed flat on his arse in front of the mechanical abomination.
“Oh my, now that is hilarious! One of you thought you could take on a member of the Engine Dynasty” said the human like face of the gastropod. “I had thought to spare you but it seems our mercy is beyond you wretched little creatures.”
The member of the Engine Dynasty brought its weapons to bear. They emerged from its tank like shell and aimed directly at Myles. He had barely positioned his arms to project hid head when several beams of heat and force blasted him. Myles bounced down the path like a skipping stone before coming to a smoking bloody stop. He was missing a lot of his armour, he was burnt, bloody and felt an extraordinary amount of relief when the armour dematerialised on its own signalling the end of any fae presence. Rising from the tarmac Myles finished the walk home.
“Once a week my arse,” Said Myles to no one as she showered.
The water stung, but he would give the suit all the extra help he could. He would admit to himself that probably the biggest wound was to his pride. Snippets of things others had said had suggested he was a decent way above the curve in terms of power. But tonight had been a stark reminder that it was a big world and he was by no means a big fish. Still, he had beaten two of the three, so that at least deserved fresh clean pyjamas. Making himself as comfortable as his injuries would allow, Myles settled into bed. Curiosity got the better of him he typed a quick message to John and Rusty asking about the Engine Dynasty. The special phone pinged back before he had even set it down on the bedside table.
Rusty
GET OUT OF THERE NOW DO NOT FIGHT IT
John
RUN! RUN RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!!!
That was worrying. Myles further explained the encounter, about how it had shot at him and then left. There were promises of visiting to take a statement and more details, but that was a problem for tomorrow.
A very sore Myles clocked into work at the joint project site. He had skipped his morning routine because powering through an injury was for idiots. Breakfast this morning seemed to be a selection of donuts so impromptu cheat day was being added to impromptu rest day. At least today was off to a better start. He grabbed a couple of donuts and poured himself a large coffee. Myles was adding the milk when he saw the label. UHT long life milk.
Several complaints were made to the human resource departments of Sweetbright and Arkwright & Fletcher about the language that was used.