Everly felt touched by the general reaction of her crew to her awakening. She’d expected there to be some excitement of course. After all, she was Everly, everyone loved having her around. Who wouldn’t?

But actual, heartfelt, emotions? Tears of joy? Genuine happiness?

That surprised her.

When had these idiots become her family?

Out of all of them, Beverly in particular was absolutely ecstatic to see her moving again. “Baaaabe, welcome back to the land of the living! Don’t you ever leave us again,” she said as she barraged Everly with kisses and hugs, competing with Seraphine to see who could smother her the most in their embrace. “I’m serious! I will totally murder you if you even think about slipping into another coma. Murder you, Everly! It’s not a threat! It’s a promise! I love you so much!”

“Hey, hey! Let her breathe, you lunatic! I was the one standing vigil over her night and day, waiting for my beloved to return to me,” cut in Seraphine. “And I’m so glad I did! Everly, I’ve missed you so much! Please take better care of yourself! Seeing you in such a state was so frightening.”

“You really did all that?” Everly asked in surprise.

“Of course, I did!” Seraphine replied. “You and I are committed to each other. When one of us languishes, so does the other! I know you would do the same thing for me if our positions were ever reversed.”

“Yeah,” said Everly slowly. “Totally…”

“I knew it,” Seraphine said happily. “Ever since you came into my life it’s been one miracle after another.” Grasping Everly’s hand, she placed it tightly against her chest and held it in place. “Do you feel that my love? That’s my heartbeat. And it beats only for you! I would happily die for you, Everly. I’d kill for you. And if we were ever separated, I’d kill myself! Everything is for you, my love!”

“Oh, wow, that’s so much to take in right now,” replied Everly.

Jason Vorhees, boss! Where did you find this dingbat? asked a voice that she’d longed to hear once more.

Be kind, Titania. This is my significant other, she said mentally.

Significant other? Was that a good choice? She seems about as stable as a Glenn Close character from the eighties, chirped Titania. Y’know, the kind you’ll have to drown in a bathtub before she sticks you with a kitchen knife.

I don’t see anything wrong with how she’s behaving, said Eris. This level of adoration and devotion seems utterly appropriate to me.

Okay, that’s a recommendation you can rely on right there, said Titania sarcastically. If Eris approves, then there’s no way this lady isn’t a nutbar you should lock the cutlery away from.

Who are you to question my approval? You spent the last year of your life living out graphic novel fantasies and reenacting genre films and television. You’re the one who needs to get it together!

Yeah, it was awesome, Titania said gleefully.

It was NOT awesome! said Eris. In fact, it was the ordeal of my life!

Shut up, you loved it!

I did not!

C’mon, let me hear you say Sunflower Force forever!

Everly! I insist you punish my sister at once!

Did you show her your bat robot?

EVERLY!

Everly leaned back in bed and smiled.

She really had missed this.

Still, not everything was as pleasant as receiving the affection of her well-wishing friends. There were other things she had to see sorted out. Unpleasant things, although it pained her to have to do it.

“Matty, stop,” she commanded the happy fat rat, which scurried into her lap and began nuzzling her affectionately, seeking to get his tummy rubbed.

“Matty, I said stop! I’m very upset with you right now. This is serious business,” Everly said, although she couldn’t resist giving him a gentle squeeze.

“Huh?” Matty asked, confused. “Hey, boss, did I do something wrong?”

“Yes, Matty!” Everly said. She scratched under his chin a little bit before she could help herself but then regained control and continued. “You were spying on me for the seven kings.”

“Uh huh,” Matty nodded while trying to get her to scratch him some more.

“Matty, that’s a bad thing! I’m very disappointed in you!” Everly said sternly.

“Why?” asked Matty, with genuine puzzlement. “They gave me a big wedge of cheese. Sharp cheddar. It was awesome.”

“Matty, I could have given you all the cheese you wanted myself, you precious little dope,” Everly said in exasperation. “You didn’t need to betray state secrets for it! That was a no-no!”

“A-are you mad at me?” he asked as he hid his face behind his adorable little paws.

“Yes! I’m very upset!” Everly insisted, although her heart broke a little at his reaction. “I’m afraid I’m going to have to confiscate your cheese wedge. You’re also confined to a hamster cage for a week. And I expect you to use that exercise wheel for at least ten minutes a day! I’m concerned about your weight!”

“Everly, noooo!” wept Matty. “I swear I’ll repent! I’ll do good! I’m so sorry!”

“So am I, Matty. So am I. But when it comes to keeping order, the heart of an empress must at times be colder than a glacier,” Everly said somberly, as she signaled for her black knights to take the prisoner away.

“Everly!” Matty cried out one last time. “Eveeeeerly!”

“I guess that’s what he gets for ratting you out,” Max snickered from where he leaned against the wall beside her bed. He’d been the last of the four escapees from the abyss to appear. One moment he hadn’t been there, and the next, it was as if he’d been around all day.

“Could you not?” Everly said. “Matty is a good boy. He’s a good, good, boy. But he’s literally an animal. He doesn’t quite process concepts like treachery. As far as he’s concerned anyone who feeds him and plays with him is a good person, no matter what they ask of him.”

“That’s gotta be the case if a person like you is who he reveres,” Max smirked.

“I’m a wonderful person who deserves his unconditional loyalty,” asserted Everly calmly.

“Of course, you are,” Max said with no resistance. “Although, if I might offer some advice for future dealings? Never trust anyone named Matt or any talking rodents. You never know when either of them will turn on you.”

“Okay, I can believe you about having problems with someone named Matt, but that remark about the talking rodents seems awfully on the nose,” Everly said with a frown.

“Honeydew Meadow,” said Max with a haunted look in his eyes.

“Excuse me?” Everly said in annoyance.

This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

“Nothing; nothing at all,” he said in a distant voice.

“Okay, whatever, get out of here and take your insane rambling with you,” Everly said impatiently as she pulled her covers over her head. “I’m still recovering from being catatonic, and I need my twelve hours of sleep. Go introduce yourself to everyone else. Except Grail. Leave Grail alone.”

“Aww, Grail’s the one I’ve been wanting to meet the most,” said Max. “I heard he likes swinging around an axe.”

“Yeah, it’s a thing he’s known for,” said Everly from beneath a pillow.

“Well, he’s gonna have to be known for something else now. I’m the axe guy. I mean, I’m literally an axe. Rhymes with my name and everything.”

“I’m sure you two can work something out.”

“I’m sure we can.”

“Please keep in mind that I like him much better than you,” Everly warned him. “Just in case you’re thinking of behaving like yourself.”

“How much better?” Max asked curiously.

“SO much better.”

“Well, all righty then,” Max said as he sauntered toward the exit. “G’night princess.”

“That’s EMPRESS to you,” she said as the halls within the memory palace darkened and a bolt of lightning crashed angrily in the horizon.

“Didn’t I say that?” he asked as he closed the door behind himself.

Once in the halls, Max took a look around his new surroundings and gave a low whistle of appreciation. “Huh. So, this is a memory palace, eh? Faaaancy.”

The only place that Max had ever personally seen that was comparable to the memory palace, had been the palatial home of the Goddess of all four seasons, back on the world he had previously lived in. Everly’s home would have found no shame in comparison to that place.

“Maybe I should map out a place of my own in the astral sea,” he said to himself as he explored. “It really seems like real estate is where I should start focusing. I wonder how many cubic feet this place consists of. I wonder if they manufacture cubic feet in Cuba. Can I import that or is there still a trade embargo going on? I wonder if—”

“Max. We’d like to have a little word with you if you don’t mind?” said a voice he didn’t recognize.

Startled from his reverie, Max looked up to see three people facing him in the hall, flanked by a squad of those fancy looking black knights. Eris, he instantly recognized. But the taller looking woman with similar features, he couldn’t quite place a name to. She didn’t feel human, though. Was this Titania?

The male who stood between them, he recognized straight away. He didn’t know his name or anything, but he was the same sort of creature that Max had spent the entirety of his life resenting, antagonizing, and occasionally destroying whenever the urge became too hard to resist.

He was an authority figure.

“Heeeey,” Max said with a friendly smile as he ran a hand over his tangly hair to smooth it back. “I’m new to the team. So very happy to meet ya.”

“Just come with us please,” the man said as he gestured for Max to follow.

“Do I have a choice?” Max asked as his grin grew even wider.

“What do you think?” the man said curtly as he turned away.

More Black Knights stepped behind Max. One of them placed a warning hand on his shoulder. Max’s eyes widened slightly.

Then they sharply narrowed.

“Lead the way, officer,” he said as they guided him to their destination.

__

“Max, I’m going to be frank with you,” Grail said from behind his desk, as Max sat before him, flanked on either side by Eris and Titania in his office.

“Okay,” Max said. “I’m going to stay Max though, okay?”

Grail sighed deeply to himself before continuing. “Ah, yes. There’s that sense of humor I heard about from Lady Eris. Very dry.”

“You should drink some water, then.” Max suggested.

“That won’t be necessary,” Grail said. “Now, as I was saying, I’m afraid there isn’t going to be a place for you within our organization.”

“Oh? Do tell,” Max said as he leaned back in his seat and steepled his fingers.

“I just did,” Grail said with a hard look on his face. “You’ll be leaving us today. On behalf of the Empress, I appreciate the aid you provided her during her long journey back to us, but your services are no longer required.”

“Men don’t have cervixes,” Max said. “I learned that in medical school.”

“You went to medical school?” asked Titania.

“Sure did. Or maybe I cut someone at a school once, I dunno. It’s all hard to keep track of.”

“Absolutely pathetic,” Eris said with a sneer. “Just get rid of him, Grail.”

“Are we being fair, though?” asked Titania. “He helped Everly out, didn’t he? And she said he could come with us.”

“Everly doesn’t always base her decision making on logic,” Grail said. “On those occasions, it’s for the best that we intervene. That’s something we all decided long ago.”

“Yeah, but she really hates it whenever we do that,” said Titania with a conflicted look on her face. “Whenever she finds out about it, it never ends well for anybody.”

Heh, look at this big softy, Max smirked to himself.

“This isn’t personal, Max,” Grail said. “Our organization already has its share of…unique personalities. But even compared to them, Lady Eris insists that you are an extreme case. We don’t know enough about you, and that’s reason enough for us not to trust you.”

“Everly and I have a deal. Bonded in blood and death. We’ve walked together and killed together, and according to rules older than most civilizations, that makes us one. You don’t get to tell me to leave, boy,” Max said in a matter-of-fact manner.

“You’ll be paid however much gold you want, and we’ll open a portal for you to anywhere you’d like to go,” Grail continued, ignoring what the other man had said. “In return we only ask that you depart quietly and never seek to return.”

“Anywhere I want?” Max asked consideringly.

“Anywhere,” affirmed Grail.

“Anywhere?” repeated Max.

“I’ve already confirmed that,” Grail said, frowning. “Now decide.”

“Well, hey! Good news, hoss!” Max said cheerfully. “As it turns out, I’m already exactly where I want to be. Isn’t that great? I just saved you a bunch of money and a wasted portal. That’s pretty nice of me, isn’t it?”

“Max, I’m not certain you understand the situation you’re in,” Grail said.

“Oh, I think I understand the situation perfectly, shithead. You’re the one who doesn’t seem to get how things are going to be from now on,” Max said with his hungry, empty little smile.

He then grabbed the sides of his chair and dragged it closer to Grail’s desk so that he could sit with his feet propped disrespectfully upon it.

“I get it, kids, I really do,” he continued. “Your mama just brought a new man into the house, and now you’re feeling upset and confused and wondering how things are going to be. Well, let me assure you all: I don’t give a fuck about any of you. Not a single solitary thrust of my sexy, narrow hips. You little shits can keep doing your thing, and I’ll do mine, and we’ll try to stay out of each other’s way, okay? Don’t make your new daddy take off his belt.”

“You arrogant little piece of trash,” Grail said as he rose from his seat.

“I guess this wasn’t the wrong thing to do after all,” Titania said as her eyes began sparking with an ominous, destructive light.

“I prefer it this way,” Eris said eagerly. “No fuss, no muss, no body.”

“It’s a nervous bitch who barks the loudest, sweetie,” Max said to her.

“Those will be your last words,” Eris promised him. “I’m going to tear your mind open and expose your wounded soul to the horrors of the void. There aren’t words to describe the hell you’re about to experience.”

“You sure you wanna do that?” asked Max. “It’s your call but I wouldn’t recommend crawling around in my head—aw, you did it anyway. That was pretty dumb of you.”

Eris screamed. A sound so unexpected and unthinkable for anyone that knew her that it startled everyone in the room except the still seated Max. While Grail and Titania rushed to her side, he leaned back and laughed deeply and cruelly, enjoying the sight of the spirit elemental vomiting on the floor, and shaking from the sheer horror of what she had just witnessed.

“WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY SISTER?!” bellowed the outraged Titania as she began stomping towards him. As she approached, the room tremored and quaked with her anger.

“Nothing deliberate,” Max tittered. “My mind’s an open book, I promise it is. Anyone can come inside and have a look if they want. But most people that do have…difficulty understanding the way I see the world. My viewpoint troubles them just like it troubled poor Eris. It’s a real party in my head.”

“Bastard!” Titania swore as she raised a fist that trembled with power, rage, and the desire to smite. She then aimed it squarely at Max’s head with the full intent to destroy him, only to stare in surprise when he lazily lifted his hand and received her blow in his palm.

Despite her nearly limitless strength, Max didn’t move an inch.

“We done?” he asked her with an exaggerated yawn.

“What are you?” she asked him.

“The new guy,” he sneered.

“Whatever you may be, whatever your tricks, monster, I can destroy you,” Titania warned him. “If I exercise the utmost limits of my power, I will obliterate you.”

“Oh, that is scary,” he replied. “Sounds like a real problem for me. But I bet it’d be an even bigger problem for them, wouldn’t it?” he asked as he tilted his head towards Grail as he tried to assist the sobbing Eris. “Them and everyone else you love. A planet’s ecology is far more delicate than most people realize. The kind of tectonic rampage you’re talking about unleashing isn’t very conducive to maintaining a little thing I like to call surface life. And you’re still assuming I couldn’t kill you first.”

“Go ahead and try. I dare you!” Titania said furiously.

“Don’t wanna,” said Max. “Whether you like it or not, girl, Everly and I are partners. Equal partners. That makes all of us family. Family should try to get along.”

“You’ll never be kin of ours,” Titania vowed.

“I might grow on you if you give me a chance,” he said.

“It’ll never happen,” she promised.

“Sounds like a challenge,” he winked.

They continued staring at each other for some time. Him while wearing a dissembling grin, and her with a glare filled with anger and suspicion. Eventually she pulled her hand away and returned to her sister’s side.

“Eris had better be okay,” she warned him.

“Ah, just give her mind some time to bleach out what she saw. Shouldn’t take a big brain like hers more than a few hours,” Max assured her as he rose from his seat.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Grail said as he moved to cut off Max’s exit. “We’re not finished here.”

“Are you sure?” Max said sleepily. “Feels like we are.”

Grail’s expression grew thunderous as he prepared to transform, only to be stopped when Titania placed a hand on his shoulder and shook her head.

“Don’t,” she warned him. “He’s too much for you.

“Yeah, Grail don’t. I’m too much for you,” Max said mockingly to him.

“This isn’t over. I promise you it isn’t,” Grail said as Max brushed past him, ignoring him completely.

“Damn it,” he swore after the other man left. “We’re going to need to deal with him somehow. This can’t be allowed to continue.”

“I’m all for suggestions,” Titania said as she held her sister’s head. “Have you got any?”

Grail said nothing in response. Instead, he silently clenched his fists in anger.

Helpless anger.