“So, are we about to engage in a life-or-death struggle in the center of my mind or whatever?” Everly asked eagerly. “Are you going to try to conquer me psychically? Oh, is me being trapped here part of your long-awaited vengeance? Shoot, I didn’t think you had it in you, Sloth.”

“Uh, I don’t,” Sloth replied with a somewhat bewildered expression on his face. “Nah, I just wanted to pay a visit to see who my new guest was. See what’s good and all that. This is some shit, huh?” he asked as he folded his wings around himself.

With a shimmer of pale light, his appearance transformed. Instead of a black winged angel, he now appeared as a barefoot young man in jeans and an oversized white t-shirt. He then gestured before himself and a lawn chair appeared which he promptly sat on after giving a languid stretch.

“Ahh,” he said in satisfaction. “Comfy.”

“Hey,” said Everly. “Hook me up, bro,” she demanded, as she gestured for a chair of her own.

“Why should I? You killed me,” replied Sloth. “Asking favors of your victims is pure vanity.”

“You got better, didn’t you?” she snorted. “Seriously, don’t be such a girl.”

“When women use reductive gendered language like that, it’s often a sign of internalized misogyny,” Sloth said unhelpfully.

“Bullshit, I love all women equally. Even the stupid ones,” Everly countered.

“How many female friendships do you maintain?” asked Sloth.

“A bunch. Most women love me,” replied Everly. "Unless they're hating ass losers."

“It sure sounds like it,” Sloth said sarcastically. “Fine, you can have a chair. Don’t ever say I did nothing for you.”

He then snapped his finger and another lawn chair appeared for Everly to sit in. She made a happy noise and took her seat. “Ohhh, this is comfortable. You’ve got a gift, your majesty.”

“Oh, you don’t have to call me majesty,” Sloth said humbly. “Technically, you and I are equals.”

“Nah, not really,” Everly replied.

“Huh?” asked Sloth.

“I mean, sure, we’re both monarchs, but you split your authority with six other people. I run my thing entirely on my own. If you’d like, you can keep calling me majesty. I won’t mind.”

“Yeesh, do you ever turn the act off for even a minute? I’d find the endless performance emotionally draining,” said Sloth.

“Who says I’m performing? This is me, twenty-four seven,” Everly said with a shrug. “I understand that others find me exhausting, but what can I say? Fuck them, it’s their problem, not mine.”

“Wow, Everly. You’re not like the other girls,” Sloth said robotically.

“I know, right? I like kung-fu movies and UFC matches. I like sex, but only when my partner is in the mood, and I also love dancing spontaneously in the rain because I’m such a free spirit! I wear vintage concert t-shirts, I know who Frank Miller and Chris Claremont are, and I never talk about politics because what do I know about anything?”

“Keep going,” encouraged Sloth.

“Oh, I collect GameCube and Wii games, but never Wii-U products because it was such a stupid waste of hardware, my favorite anime song is Green Bird from the Cowboy Bebop soundtrack, my favorite anime in general is also Cowboy Bebop because I want to be as cool as Fay but as free as Spike, and I also think mean people suck.”

“Have you ever read Gone girl or seen the movie?” asked Sloth.

“Both,” she replied. “Repeatedly.”

“Yeah, I thought so,” Sloth said.

“What? You aren’t charmed by manic pixie despots?”

“Not the ones who stick me with a hundred thousand swords, no.”

“Will that always come between us?” she pouted.

‘I’m afraid so,” he said. “Do you really like Cowboy Bebop?”

“I did, but that channel ruined it for me with the endless fucking reruns,” she said.

“What do you prefer now?” he asked.

“Anime became pointless when Ash Ketchum retired, Sloth,” she said coldly.

“That hurt,” he said after recovering from her words.

“I know. I have issues with sadism. So, what are you doing here anyway?”

“Nothing. Just the usual shit,” he said. “Honestly, you’re the one intruding. This is my realm.”

“Oh, so you did plot to trap me here!” Everly said triumphantly. “Good work, you brainy fiend! But know that I shall escape in time and take vengeance upon you!”

“Uh, no,” Sloth replied. “That isn’t what happened at all. My realm is for those who are unproductive and put forth no effort. You did something to yourself to end up here. If I were to hazard a guess, I’d say you were in a coma of some sort.”

“Oh,” Everly said in disappointment. “Really?”

“Yep.”

“Well, that sucks. I can’t imagine what I could have possibly done to myself…oh unless you were to count me indulging in the heady brew of divinity.”

“How’s that work?” Sloth asked curiously.

“Well, I greatly improved the people of my kingdom’s lives so much that they’ve begun worshipping me as their badass goddess of good fortune,” Everly said without a trace of humility. “Godhood tasted so sweet.”

“You can directly feed on worship?” Sloth said. He gave an appreciative whistle at the thought of it. “Damn, that’s not bad! But obviously you’re not equipped to feed on too much of it. You must have overdosed.”

“That’s so stupid! How can anyone overdose on such a good thing?” asked Everly sourly.

“I don’t know. Ask any dead musician in their mid-twenties. Obviously, mortals can’t just feed on the ambrosia of faith. You’re probably better off staying in your lane, Everly.”

“I will not stay in my lane!” Everly said stubbornly. “I can’t go back to being a fool with delusions of godhood now that I’ve had a taste of the real thing! I’m now completely high on my own supply!”

“You’ll probably kill yourself if you keep doing it, though,” said Sloth.

“Who cares? Life is meaningless if you aren’t rich or famous,” said Everly contemptuously.

“We were talking about becoming a god.”

“Yeah, that too,” Everly said. “Hey, I could use a drink.”

“You sure you want one?” Sloth asked her. “Haven’t you heard legends about what happens when you eat or drink something from the underworld?”

Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

“If you try to keep me here against my will, I’ll snap your spine in half and use your tongue as a bidet,” said Everly.

“God, fine, damn!” Sloth said in annoyance. He snapped his fingers again, and two trays filled with sandwiches, tarts, and large bottles of fruit juice appeared for them to build a plate of food with.

“Yum,” Everly said happily. “How come deli sandwiches always taste better than the ones I make at home?”

“They season their vegetables with oil and salt,” Sloth said as he ate. “They also keep their meats moist by using dressing on both sides of the bread.”

“How do you know that?” Everly wondered.

“I saw it on a YouTube vid. Binging with Babeesh,” he answered.

“Aww. I miss YouTube,” Everly said sadly.

“Do you want a ride to Earth? I can arrange it if you swear never to return,” Sloth said.

“Ha! Nice try. But I’m working on my own means of going back,” Everly said with a smirk.

“Jeez. Where do you get all that ambition?” Sloth asked her. “You’re such a go-getter. I can never work up that much energy for anything.”

“Yeah, I’m getting that feeling,” Everly nodded. “You know who you remind me of? My minion, Beverly. She’s ridiculously lazy too. Never wants to do anything, just laze the days away.”

“Is that your, uh, copy? One of your clones?” Sloth asked.

“She’s a duplicate. Not a clone. There’s a difference,” Everly corrected him.

“There is? What is it?”

“It’s nuanced. You wouldn’t get it,” Everly said primly.

“Uh, I share a psionic bond with my six siblings, so I’m pretty sure I’d understand. Plus, I’m millions of years older than you are,” Sloth said irritably.

“You don’t act like it,” Everly said. “I mean this in the nicest possible sense—”

“Which means you don’t mean it nicely at all,” said Sloth.

“But you really need to put forth a more assertive front,” Everly said without noticing the interruption. “Otherwise, people are going to bully you.”

“Wow, you’re right. They’d probably invade my territory and make me give them food and shelter,” Sloth said dryly.

“It could happen,” Everly nodded without an ounce of self-reflection.

“Well, I checked in on you. Guess I’ll take off now. Uh, give my best to Claudia if you see her,” Sloth said as he stood up.

“Hold up, don’t be so quick to leave,” Everly said. “Are you seriously not planning to take revenge on my family? I mean, I did kill you, and Claudia did blow you up.”

“Yeah,” Sloth said indifferently. “I admit, I was pissed at the time. But it’s not in my nature to hold a grudge long term. Keeping up that level of anger is tiresome.”

“God, you really are a lazy bastard,” Everly chuckled.

“You think?” Sloth said.

“Well, since I don’t know how long I’m going to be here, let me pick your brain for a bit. I could actually use some advice for the future.”

“Ditch Seraphine, she’s crazy,” Sloth said promptly.

“Hey, don’t call my girlfriend crazy! She’s a passionate woman,” Everly said.

“She’s a bloodthirsty psychopath who cut a deal with my brother, Wrath. She wants to take vengeance on you for stealing away her dreams,” Sloth said.

“How could you possibly know that?” asked Everly.

“I told you; I have a psionic bond with my siblings,” he said.

“Jeez, shouldn’t you be guarding their secrets then?” Everly asked in amazement.

“Too much effort,” he said.

“God DAMN, bro,” Everly said, feeling genuinely impressed by his dedication to his role. “Okay, in that case, tell me everything you know about what Pride’s been plotting against me.”

In response, Sloth began waving both hands in front of him, signaling a no. “Uh, uh. Not happening. Sorry, her, I don’t fuck with. It just isn’t done.”

“What’s the big deal? What’s the worst your big sister could do to you?” Everly teased.

“Uh, she could crush my mana cores, toss me into the deep abyss to suffer unimaginably for all eternity, and tell our mother to produce a new cardinal sin to replace me,” he said with a pale face.

“…Has she done that before?” Everly asked him.

“Did you know that the current Lust is a dude?” he asked her.

“Really? Incarnations of lust are usually depicted as being female in popular literature,” Everly said in surprise.

“The times have yet to catch up with her being replaced,” Sloth said with a shudder.

“What did she do to piss Pride off so much?” asked Everly.

“No one knows. It was like one morning Pride woke up and decided having her in the group was bad feng shui.”

“Jesus, she killed her own sister,” Everly said in disgust. “That’s fucked up.”

“I wasn’t happy about it. Old Lust and I were close,” Sloth said unhappily. “When Pride revived me, she told me this was my last chance to stop disappointing her. She said it all cheerily like she was on that mommy dearest bullshit. Don’t mess with her, Everly. Whatever she ends up doing to you, don’t retaliate. Just take it on the chin and let it go.”

“That’s not in my nature,” Everly said with a frown. “Anyone stupid enough to snipe at me had better pray they finish it with the first shot. Otherwise, I’ll tear them apart. That’s just how it is.”

“Those could be your famous last words,” Sloth said.

“I’d prefer you call them my declaration of intent,” Everly replied. She then took a massive swig of her juice and drained the cup in one swallow. “This stuff is awesome, by the way.”

“Refill?” he asked.

“Please do,” she replied. Once that was done, she asked, “So. My honey bunny wants to kill me, huh?”

“Badly,” Sloth said. “She also wants to usurp everything you’ve built up.”

“It’s kind of convenient that you’re feeding me this information. Are you sure this isn’t part of some nefarious scheme to catch me off guard?”

“I already told you that plotting is too much effort for the likes of me,” he said.

“Damn,” cursed Everly. “Maybe this is what I get for being a selfish lover.”

“Sharing yourself with other people isn’t easy. There’s a lot of give and take involved, and finding a balance can be difficult,” said Sloth.

“Oh,” said Everly. “Well, that’s the problem right there. I’m all take.”

“It’s never too late to change.”

“Perhaps, but I don’t want to change. I like being a narcissist,” Everly said.

“Most narcissists don’t acknowledge being narcissistic, Everly,” said Sloth. “Are you sure you’re not just putting on another performance? Playing the role of the wild girl?”

“No, no, I’m very self-aware,” Everly said. “I know all my most negative traits, each and every one. I just don’t bother hiding them. Why should I? People hide their true selves to avoid consequences. I’m beyond consequences. Who’d dare to judge me?”

“You’re being silly. The actions of beings like us don’t exist in a vacuum. The more out of hand you become, the more likely a hero will be spawned to deal with you,” warned Sloth.

“Heroes aren’t real,” Everly said. “The person I met who was the closest to becoming one was just part of a long-term scam. She got summoned here to play a role in a fake war against your kingdom.”

“Are you talking about Fenneth Godwell?” Sloth asked. “Heh, shows what you know!”

“What do you mean?” asked Everly.

“She was a legit divine summoning,” Sloth said with another shudder of revulsion. “The Godwells might have been arrogant enough to steal the credit for her coming here, but we’ve known about her eminent arrival in the demon kingdom for centuries.”

“…Really?” asked Everly, quietly.

“Yep. Thank goodness, er, I guess I should say, badness, she got herself murdered before she grew into her role. Holy crow, she would have become a fucking nightmare. Divine heroes are monsters, Everly. Pray you never have to deal with one.”

“How long does it usually take for them to become a threat?” Everly asked as casually as she could.

“It really depends,” Sloth said as he leaned back in his seat. “It usually doesn’t take long once they’re out in the world. They start off ordinary enough until they witness some grave wrong or terrible act of injustice that sparks them off. Then they receive their divine mandate, and the next thing you know, it’s all holy light and hallelujahs, and your armies are being effortlessly smashed in the name of the choir.”

“Let’s say, a divine hero is dead and gets brought back to life in a new body later on,” Everly said. “As long as they’re in a new body, their old power will fade, right?”

“Nope,” Sloth said. “They carry their power in their souls. They were literally created to destroy evil so they can’t ever be cut off from their source of strength.”

“Well, shit,” Everly said bitterly.

“What? What’s wrong?” Sloth asked. Then he realized that her questions hadn’t been hypothetical at all. “Oh, you dumbass necromancer idiot! Please tell me you didn’t resurrect a fucking divine hero.”

“I want to, but I can’t,” Everly admitted sheepishly. “She was moaning and sobbing and being such a load, and I just couldn’t bear it anymore, so I rebuilt her back in my memory palace.”

“In your palace?” Sloth asked her.

“Yeah, that’s where I resurrected her.”

“Oh,” Sloth said with a sigh of relief. “Oh, well okay, then! No worries! Yeesh, you had me scared there for a moment, Everly. So long as you have her bound within the center of your place of power, she’s no threat to anyone. Heh, lead with that part first before you repeat that story, silly! I was about to burst a vein.”

“…She’s not in my memory palace any longer,” Everly said mutely.

“Come again? What was that?” asked Sloth. “For a moment there, I thought you just said something horrifying.”

“I kicked her out. She was being such an ungrateful pill, I just couldn’t take the drama anymore,” Everly said in a rush.

“You kicked her out. You kicked a divine hero out of the one place she couldn’t cause any damage to the world we seven kings have painstakingly crafted for ourselves over millennia, because you couldn’t handle her drama anymore. Is that right?” asked Sloth.

“Sloth, you have no idea what it was like! S-she was abusive! Fenn was very abusive, she was! I went to sleep night after night, fearing for my safety! I pray daily that I never encounter such an animal ever again!”

Sloth said nothing for a time. He only stared blankly ahead.

“How long ago?” he eventually asked.

“Huh?” asked Everly.

“How long ago did you set her free?”

“I didn’t keep track. She’s been loose for months,” Everly admitted.

“Everly,” Sloth said as he gripped the sides of his head in despair.

“Okay, so what if I screwed up?” Everly said defiantly. “Big frickin’ deal, who cares if Fenn is some big shot hero? You know what? That’s just fine by me. I’ve been wanting a fight with a genuine hero for ages. In fact, this works out perfectly! I’ll finally get the bout that I’ve always wanted!”

“You’re ignorant. You’re so fucking ignorant,” Sloth wailed. “Everly, you have no idea what you’ve done. You have no idea what you’re facing! She’ll be a soldier of PRIMAL ORDER…”

“That’s fine by me, Sloth. I want that smoke!” Everly said confidently.

So very, very confidently.