Emmy and I wanted to do something, anything, so after school we went down to San Diego to the big mall in the valley. I figured we could do some window-shopping, maybe have dinner at the food court and then see a movie. A cheap date, sure, but I didn’t have any money to speak of and Emmy was being very careful with her expenses.
Honestly, it had surprised me how quickly and apparently easily Emmy had wrapped her mind around not having unlimited money at her disposal. Her casual purchases had evaporated entirely, and her only real indulgence was the morning coffee we always got.
Well, truth be told, our morning coffees weren’t an indulgence but actually a dire necessity. I’d suggested we brew our own to save money, but Emmy hadn’t been keen on that plan. “That early in the morning I would probably just burn myself,” she’d said, and now that we’d been living together for a while, I’d have to say that it was most likely accurate. Emmy was about the least ‘morning person’ I’d ever seen.
Emmy had originally planned on trading in her Mini for something much cheaper and pocketing the trade-in cash but after getting a few quotes had decided to keep her nicer car, so I guess that counts as an indulgence too but I would have hated to see that thing go. It was my favorite car in the world and I loved driving it, which I did more than Emmy ever sat behind the wheel. If I were honest with myself, I’d have to admit that I thought of it as ‘our’ car, and I was very glad that Emmy opted to keep our car. I just couldn’t see myself being so in love with some little Corolla or Sentra.
Anyhow, we drove down the freeway to Mission Valley for a low-cost evening on the town. Checking the times of the various movies, we saw we could just catch the afternoon discount showing of the Disney movie, Tangled. Skipping popcorn and soda because we didn’t want to spend the money, we just made it in time for the previews.
The movie was good, but it brought up some unwanted emotions in Emmy. In the scene where Rapunzel is busy around the tower painting, cleaning, and all that other stuff because she had so much time on her hands, Emmy squeezed my hand tightly and I looked over to see her weeping silently.
“What’s up?” I whispered, but I didn’t have to be super quiet because there was hardly anybody else in the theater.
“That was me,” Emmy sobbed quietly. “That was my life.”
“What?” I asked, still whispering. “What do you mean?”
“All my life, I’ve been locked away, Leah. All my life until this year.”
I understood she meant it figuratively and not literally, but it still brought tears of sympathy to my eyes as well. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and gave her a big, comforting hug. “Not any more, baby. Not any more.” Then, mixing my Disney stories, I told her “It’s funny, because it seems to me you were the one who found my glass slipper. You’re my Princess Charming.”
As cheesy as it was, it at least it made her laugh and broke her out of her melancholy mood.
“But I thought I was your Beast, holding you prisoner in my castle until you loved me,” she said, smiling again. God, I loved her smile. I would do anything to see her happy.
“It’s too late. I’m already in love with you. I have been ever since you kissed me and woke me from my cursed slumber.” Yes, it’s true. I could pile the cheese as high as anybody.
“If only I had legs to dance with you instead of this fishy tail,” she lamented, indicating her very lovely, slender legs so well shown off by her little white skirt. “I would trade anything for legs.”
O.K. So Emmy could match my cheese. By this point we were both laughing enough to be shushed by an old lady watching the movie with her grandkids, so we settled down and watched the rest of the film in silence. Well, almost. I set my hand on her smooth thigh and gently stroked it, maybe even a little higher than might be considered respectable and whispered “I love your legs. When we get home I want you to wrap them around me.”
Emmy gave me a wide-eyed, shocked expression just for show, then giggled and whispered back “I must have missed that Disney movie,” which got us both giggling again, but as quietly as possible. We got shushed again, so we tried to be good and didn’t say another word through the rest of the movie. I didn’t take my hand away, though. It was very happy where it was. Emmy seemed to be happy with where my hand was, too.
After the movie we had some teriyaki chicken at the food court for dinner, but as we were leaving we ran into trouble.
A group of guys followed us out of the food court area and started giving us a hard time. Well, mainly giving Emmy a hard time.
“What the fuck are you supposed to be?” a guy wearing a long T shirt and baggy shorts outfit that made him look like a really tall midget demanded, looking at Emmy in her black top and white skirt.
One of his friends chimed in. “Look at that makeup she’s wearing. Makes her look all black and shit,” said the guy with baggy pants. Then facing Emmy, he echoed Big Midget. “What the fuck are you supposed to be? You look all freaky, bitch.”
The third guy, with tattoos on his neck, said “Man, she’s like some kind of vampire or some shit. Look at her, man.”
Emmy turned to face Big Midget, who seemed to be the leader of sorts.
“Look at me. Do I look like I sparkle? No? I must be not a vampire then, you idiot. Anyhow, vampires aren’t real. Now fuck off,” Emmy said, placing herself between me and the three guys.
“Fucking bitch!” the leader of this little gang swore. He reached to grab Emmy, but she moved aside and in one movement almost too quick to see swept his feet out from under him. As he fell past her she swung her foot up, then down on the back of his head, driving his forehead into the concrete. As quick as that, he was down for the count.
Emmy stepped back, watching the other two but they were too stunned by what had just happened to move aggressively, so Emmy grabbed my hand and hauled me out of there while the two guys helped their friend to his feet.
“Jeeze, Emmy! What was that?” I demanded as we hurried away. I glanced back to see Big Midget standing but very wobbly, a crowd of bystanders watching him and his pals.
“Let’s just get out of here,” Emmy replied, practically dragging me along towards the parking lot.
“I can’t believe how you took that guy down like that,” I said, using my long legs to keep up.
“I’m sorry that happened, Leah. I should have never gotten us into that situation.”
“It wasn’t your fault, Em. Those guys were looking for trouble. I think they might be gang members or something.”
“I should have been better about defusing things. I should not have had to resort to violence.” Emmy sounded more angry with herself then she was with the three guys, which I didn’t understand at all.
We drove home in silence, Emmy because she was still stewing and me because I was giving Emmy her space. I wasn’t sure what exactly had happened back at the mall, but I knew she wasn’t ready to talk about it. I was feeling sure that the hot night I’d been hoping for was out the window, and that didn’t improve my mood at all.
When we got home Mom and Tiff were already asleep, so Emmy silently led me to our room. Once inside, she slid her skirt up her thighs a bit, and asked in a sultry voice “Do you still like my legs, Princess Charming?”
“You aren’t going to use them to kick me in the head, are you?” I joked, but it didn’t go over very well. Emmy rushed into my arms and gave me a long, hard hug, and whispered “I would never do anything to hurt you, Leah. I never, ever want you to think that I might. I want you to live happily ever after. I love you.”
Surprised by her intensity, I whispered back. “I know you do, Em. I know.” Then, to reassure her even more, “You know I love you more than anything, right?”
“Thank you,” she sighed.
After a long time, her squeeze loosened a bit, and I saw tears when she looked up into my eyes. I leaned down and we kissed for along time, holding each other in that embrace. When the kiss ended, she looked a lot happier. The contact had done wonders to cheer Emmy up. Seeing my chance, I slid my hands up the back of her thighs and said “And I love your legs most of all.”
I knelt down in front of Emmy and slid my hands up the smooth, silky backs of her thighs. Slipping under her short white skirt, my hands continued their journey up until they found themselves cupping her perfect little ass as I buried my face in her tummy.
Grateful for Emmy’s habit of wearing thongs, I kneaded her cheeks while she stroked my hair and bent down to kiss the top of my head.
I reached up a bit higher and hooked her panties, pulling them down to her ankles where she gracefully stepped out of them as my hands returned to their happy place.
I nuzzled along the hem of her shirt, and she got the idea and pulled it up and off, giving me access to her gloriously firm little belly. Emmy had both of her hands on my head, running her fingers through my hair as she moaned “Yes, Leah…”
My fingers sought out her pussy, and were rewarded with its hot dampness, just inviting a bit more exploration. Needing no urging, the tip of my ring finger slid inside, causing Emmy to rotate her hips back and push against my finger. She wanted this every bit as much as I did, and I wanted it very badly indeed.
I abandoned my probing for the moment and leaned back so I could enjoy the sight as I slid her skirt up around her waist, revealing her perfectly smooth velvety mound. Reaching up, I unhooked her bra, too, and pulled the offending thing off her shoulders to give her breasts some room to breathe.
I stood up and carefully picked Emmy up in my arms and gently laid her on our little double bed. She quickly slipped her skirt off as I stood there, admiring the beauty of her nude body, black as night against the light blue sheets. I found myself wondering for the hundredth time how I ever managed to get so lucky, as I pulled off my T shirt and sports bra.
Emmy made a little noise of approval as my breasts popped free, so I looked down at her and stroked my boobs, a little bit, rolling the nipples between thumbs and fingers to get them hard. Emmy was transfixed, staring at my hands as they massaged my breasts, her own hands unconsciously moving in sympathy.
I unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans and slowly slid them and my panties off my hips, tearing Emmy’s attention away from my breasts and down to the area being exposed. I paused a moment too long just before showing my slit and Emmy couldn’t stand it and reached out and tugged my pants down so she could see my vaj, making a little growling noise as she did so.
Chuckling, I dropped my pants the rest of the way and kicked them off, then straddled Emmy’s hips with my knees, I lowered myself down and leaned forward, dropping my boobs right onto Emmy’s face. She cupped them in her hands and greedily sucked and nipped on them, paying attention to one, then the other equally.
I’ve never really thought of my boobs as all that great, But Emmy loved to worship them any chance she got, and who am I to complain?
I was enjoying having my breasts pinched, nibbled and sucked so much I hardly even noticed when Emmy shifted a bit under me and slid her hand up between us to stroke my pussy, which was soaking by this point. Her first little pinch on my clit was almost like an electric shock it was so unexpected and intense. Emmy didn't stop there, though. As she continued her work on my boobs, her assault on my lady bits was just getting started. Soon enough she had two fingers sliding smoothly in and out of me while she somehow managed to rub my clit with her thumb. My hips were bucking along with her thrusts and it didn’t take very long before I couldn’t stand the waves of intense sensation and an immense orgasm destroyed any muscle control I still retained and I collapsed on top of Emmy’s slender body. That didn’t stop her fingers, though. They’d stilled as I came, but once again they were moving slowly, ever so slowly, in and out of my still-pulsing pussy. Emmy rolled me off her and onto my back, but never stopped sliding and stroking, her fingers plunging all the way, then sliding out so just the tips were still inside.
Kissing my face, neck, collarbones, and upper chest, Emmy slowly sped up the motion of her fingers and I felt a second orgasm building. Emmy was playing me perfectly, slowing just as I was about to come, then speeding up again as I stepped away from the edge a bit. Eventually there was no stopping it and I came hard, my second orgasm far beyond the first in intensity and duration.
When my trembling and spasming muscles finally stopped twitching, I took Emmy in my arms and murmured “Oh my god, Emmy. That was incredible, baby. Just…” I trailed off at a loss for words.
“It was wonderful for me, too, Leah,” Emmy replied, her voice soft and tender.
“But you didn’t…” I objected.
“Perhaps not, but giving you such pleasure was its own reward,” Emmy said, kissing me once more.
Later, I felt Emmy get out of bed in the middle of the night. Emmy was so smooth and quiet I never would have sensed the movement if I had been sleeping deeply. I opened my eyes to see the dark shape of her body walk across the room and open the bedroom door in complete silence. Because she left the door open, I could hear the water cooler’s glug glug glug a minute later, then saw the dim light of the fridge as she opened it and got something out. My curiosity piqued, I listened intently but couldn’t hear a thing.
Dying to know what she was doing, I crawled out of bed and stumbled to the door of our room. There were no lights on in the kitchen, so I reached behind me and flipped the hall light on. The light shining in to the kitchen from behind me illuminated Emmy sitting at the table. In her hand was mom’s favorite cooking knife, the expensive German one that always kept a razor sharp edge. Emmy’s other hand was holding an apple on the cutting board, and she was busy cutting slices to eat for a little midnight snack. There was a tall glass of water, too, to wash the apple down. She glanced up at me, and I saw Emmy’s eyes shine exactly the way Sylvester’s did from her spot on the back of the couch.
I sat at the table, still trying to clear my fuzzy brain enough to figure out what the heck was going on.
“Em, were you just sitting here in the dark?” I asked.
“Yes,” she replied, puzzled that I would ask such an obvious question.
“And you were using that knife to cut that apple?” I continued, still trying to form rational thoughts in the middle of the night.
“Yes, I was. I am sorry for waking you.”
“No, that’s... Uh, Em, I guess the part I’m not clear on is why was it so dark?”
“I did not wish to wake anybody,” Emmy said, as if that explained everything.
“No, I guess what I mean is, it was pitch black in here, but you had no trouble with that, did you? I mean,” I said as the pieces started to fall into place. So many little clues I’d just ignored in the past suddenly all fit together. “Uh, I guess what I’m trying to get at is that it wasn’t a problem for you, was it?”
Emmy’s eyes closed, then opened in one of those odd slow motion blinks of hers, and she asked, “What do you mean?”
I could plainly see the shine of her eyes reflecting the light from the hall, and saw how very wide her pupils were as she looked at me. I remembered how her eyes shone like that in the picture by the roller coaster and thought about how sensitive she was to bright daylight.
“Em, when I visited your house and you couldn’t find the light switches, it was because you never use them, isn’t it?” I asked, knowing I was on the right track. She nodded, but didn’t say anything.
“I guess what I’m getting at is that you can see in the dark, can’t you?”
“Yes,” she responded.
“Like, in the complete dark? Like a cat?”
“No, I see better than cats do. They can see in low light, but I can see when there is no light at all in what you think of as the visible spectrum.”
“How is this possible? I mean, seriously, how?”
“Evolution, survival of the fittest. All that.” She finished off her apple, and rinsed the cutting board and knife, setting them in the drying rack. I watched her do all this, my mind spinning.
Emmy drank the last of her water and put the glass in the dishwasher, then held out her hand.
“Come back to bed with me?” she asked, gently pleading.
I followed her back to my room- well, ‘our’ room now, still not understanding what she meant.
Once we’d settled back in to bed, Emmy snuggled up to me, and asked “Are you O.K.? With me, I mean,” she added.
“Umm, yeah, of course,” I responded automatically.
“I love you, Leah. I love you more than anything,” Emmy whispered.
Holding her, I finally formed some questions to ask her. “You said evolution. You mean to tell me that you’re evolved for the dark, right?”
“Yes, that is correct,” Emmy replied, stroking my arm that was wrapped around her middle.
“That kind of thing doesn’t just happen, right? It takes a long time and a lot of generations for something like that, doesn’t it?”
“Yes, Leah, it does take a long time. Many thousands of years.”
I thought about what she’d said for a while, but then Emmy interrupted my thoughts.
“I wanted to tell you. I did not want any secrets between us, Leah. Are you mad at me?”
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“Mad at you? How could I be mad? I mean, this is weird and completely unexpected, but why would I be mad?” I responded, not sure where she was going with this.
“I was afraid you would be. Mad, I mean. It is a really big secret, and I really wanted to tell you, but I was afraid,” Emmy whispered, pulling my arm tighter around herself. “I do not want to lose you over this. Please tell me you still love me.”
I gave her a reassuring squeeze. “Of course I still love you, Emmy. I guess I don’t know why you thought I’d be mad if I found out you could see in the dark.”
“It is not the dark adapted vision that I was afraid would scare you away,” Emmy said, still whispering. “It was finding out that I am not a human being.”
“What?” I was surprised, to say the least. I did pull away at that, to look at Emmy in the little bit of light that crept under the blinds. “What do you mean, not human?” I demanded.
“No, Leah, no! Please, oh, no,” Emmy started sobbing. “Please, please…” she whimpered. She turned away, rolling on to her tummy and starting to cry into her pillow.
It hurt me to see her so devastated, and I realized that she took my surprise for rejection. I reached over and pulled her slender body back to me, and whispered into her graceful neck. “Emmy, don’t cry. I love you, I do. You just surprised me, that’s all. Shh, Em. Come here,” I said, as I kissed her shoulder. “Come here.” She continued to cry soft, sad little noises, and I continued to kiss her neck, behind her ear, the side of her face- anywhere I could reach. After a while, Emmy’s sobbing faded away, and when she turned to face me I kissed away her tears, like she’d done for me.
Her big, green eyes hopeful, she looked at me. “You still love me?” she asked, in a pitiful voice that made my heart ache. “Leah?”
“Yes, I still love you, but I am going to need some explaining. Not tonight, though. This is a bit much to take in.”
“Leah, I love you so much. Thank you. I was so afraid to tell you, but I was afraid of keeping it a secret. It was tearing me up inside, not knowing how you would react.”
“Shh,” I whispered, pulling her lips to mine for a kiss. “Not tonight. Tomorrow.” I gave her a long, slow, tender kiss, which she absolutely gave in to, closing her eyes and holding her breath.
Emmy needed my touch that night. She needed to be comforted, to be reassured that I loved her, and I was glad to show her that I did, that nothing had changed between us. It was hours later when we finally fell asleep, the warmth of her bare skin on mine comforting me just as much as it did for Emmy.
Getting up for school the next morning was tough. Emmy had never been a morning person, and it took some convincing to get her up and into the shower. I practically had to carry her, but she seemed awake enough after her quick session with the hot water. It always amazed me how quickly she showered. Me, I liked mine as hot as I could stand it, and fifteen minutes was my minimum. Emmy, though, was always just in and out again.
In the car, I asked what had been on my mind since waking. “Em, last night, you said you weren’t human. If you aren’t human, what are you?”
“In desperate need of coffee,” she replied with a smile, back to her usual bubbly self.
“Yeah, me too,” I agreed. “But seriously. What did you mean?”
“A long time ago, in Europe, there were Homo Sapiens and Neanderthals, right? They coexisted, and could interbreed, but they were separate. Like wolves and dogs- different, but not different enough to be incompatible. There are many other examples in nature.”
“You mean, like different species?” I asked, wishing she would get on with it. This was tenth grade bio stuff, after all.
“Yes, exactly. We are like that. We are a different species from Homo Sapiens. We have named ourselves ‘Homo Nocturnis’ in line with standard nomenclature. In our own language, we call ourselves ‘Children of the Night,’ which sounds much more poetic to me.”
“You say ‘we’. Your parents are the same, right? They can see in the dark, too?” I asked, as we pulled up to the coffee hut.
“Yes, my parents, and theirs, too. We have existed as a separate branch for a very long time, Leah,” Emmy explained after we’d gotten our desperately needed caffeine.
“So how come I’ve never heard of you guys before? How is that possible?”
“We are really good at hiding,” Emmy replied. “Like Bigfoot.”
“Are you telling me Bigfoot is real?” I asked, amazed.
“No, Leah,” Emmy replied, laughing. “Bigfoot is not real. I was joking.”
Laughing at my gullibility, we pulled into the school parking lot and grabbed our backpacks to start the day.
Emmy seemed happy that I was keeping things light and not freaking out about the whole ‘not human’ thing. I had no intention of making her cry the way she had been last night. It had crushed me to see her so shattered, and no way did I want that for my perfect angel, even if she were some kind of nonhuman night creature.
Waiting to discuss it more on the ride home, I gave some thought during slow moments in class to what Emmy had said.
At lunch, I watched Emmy as she chatted with Tom, Mindy and Stephanie. It struck me again how very, very different she was from the rest of us, and I guess that her explanation about being a completely different species explained a lot. ‘Like wolves and dogs’, she’d said. It wasn’t hard to figure out which were the wolves, was it? I mean, look at her dad. The guy had killed a tiger with nothing but a knife. Emmy’s mom? The way she bossed the Principal around that day Jake hit Emmy left me no doubt that she was not one to mess with.
Actually, thinking about that day, and the whole Jake thing, I realized that maybe Emmy had quite a bit of ‘wolf’ in her, too. She’d intentionally provoked a big huge guy who was well known to be a psycho into hitting her so he’d go to prison. She knew he was going to hit her. She knew it, and yet did it all anyway to eliminate a guy she saw as an enemy. Seriously, there’s no way I could imagine ever doing something like that. I couldn’t even imagine anybody else I knew putting themselves in serious danger like that just to get the outcome they wanted. Emmy had said her dad hunted the tiger to get the villagers on his side, right? Not so different at all, it seems. This thought stuck with me the rest of the day, and the more I thought about it, the more I knew I was on to something.
When we were alone in the car on the way back home after school, I asked what was on my mind. “Em,” I started.
“Yes, Leah?”
“You knew Jake was going to hit you, didn’t you?”
“Jake Merrick?” she asked, puzzled by my question.
“Yeah, Jake Merrick. You intentionally provoked him to hit you, didn’t you?” I glanced over at her, and looked her in the eyes. “You wanted him to hit you.” It wasn’t a question. I was stating what I now knew to be a fact.
“Yes, Leah. I needed him to do it. It was easy to goad him into anger, and he has no self-control. I knew he would become violent.” Emmy said this in a matter-of-fact tone of voice, as if she were explaining how to solve a math equation. “Jake was a problem that I needed to deal with quickly and decisively.”
“What would you have done if those other guys weren’t there to pull him off you? You could have been seriously hurt,” I protested, stunned at how calculating Emmy had been.
“I made certain the conditions were correct. It was important to have the necessary circumstances for the result I wanted.”
“Jeeze, Em! I can’t believe you were so cold-blooded about the whole thing! I can’t believe you put yourself in that kind of danger! What if…” I trailed off, unable to voice my muddled thoughts.
“Leah, I am sorry I upset you. That was never my intention. It is just that I saw a problem with an obvious, direct solution. I did what seemed appropriate at the time.”
“But, Emmy! He could have really hurt you! Honestly, I wouldn’t put it past him to have tried to kill you!”
“If it makes you feel better, Leah, please understand that I was never in that great a danger. If things had not worked the way I had expected and Jordan and the others had not stepped in, I would have had to fight Jake.” Then, in a much softer voice, Emmy said “I would have beaten him, Leah. He would not have had much of a chance.”
Pulling the car into the lot at the apartment complex, I turned to look at Emmy again. With a harder edge to my voice than I had intended, I demanded “Are you telling me you could have beaten up Jake Merrick?”
“Yes. Leah, I did not want to, because I do not want people to be frightened of me, but yes. I would have beaten him up.”
“But you hate violence! I remember how freaked out you were that time we went to the movies…” and I trailed off, thinking more about that night. Emmy had so effortlessly taken down that guy that had grabbed for her, and done it so quickly that only thinking about it afterwards could I really analyze what had actually occurred. “That night, there at the mall. You weren’t afraid of those guys at all, were you? In fact, you were trying to protect me from getting hurt, weren’t you?”
“Yes, Leah. I was worried that they might try to hurt you. I could not allow that to happen,” she replied, completely conversational in her tone of voice. Then, with an intensity in her voice, she added “No one will ever hurt you, Leah. I will not allow it.”
I didn’t know what to say to that, so I said nothing. Emmy didn’t seem to feel the need to add anything more to the conversation, either.
Later that night, after Emmy had sung her nightly lullaby to Tiff and joined me in bed, I wanted to talk about that night at the mall again. “Em, can we talk?” I asked, pulling her into my arms.
“What about?” she asked warily, and I got the impression some topics might be O.K. but others not so much.
“What happened at the mall. Jake. Wolves. I don’t know, exactly.”
“Wolves?” Emmy asked, puzzled.
“Well, yeah. Wolves.” Then I added “And dogs.”
“I do not understand, Leah.”
“You said that your people are a different but similar species to humans, right?”
“Yes, we are not the same as Homo Sapiens, but we are very close, evolutionarily speaking. That is true.”
“Well, you said we were as similar as wolves and dogs. Remember that?”
“Yes, I remember,” Emmy said in a soft, sort of sad sounding voice. She pulled my arm tighter around herself, as if to seek reassurance. I gave her a comforting squeeze, to let her know we were O.K. I didn’t know where this insecurity of hers came from, and it bothered me.
“Well, I’ve been thinking about it, and it seems to me that you are the wolves, and we’re the dogs,” I said, realizing as I said it that a slightly harsh tone had crept into my voice.
“What do you mean?” asked Emmy, now sounding as if she might cry.
I hated myself for it, but I plowed ahead anyway. “Wolves are hunters, Emmy. Wolves are wild. Wolves kill dogs when they catch them.”
Emmy turned to face me, pulling herself out of my arms there in our dark bedroom. I knew she could see me perfectly well, but I couldn’t make out anything in her midnight black face.
“Do you want me to leave?” she asked, and I could hear in her voice that she was fighting back tears. “I will go, Leah. I will not bother you ever again,” she sobbed, starting to climb out of bed.
“What? No! Em- Emmy, no! That’s not what I meant!” I protested, wrapping my arms around her so she couldn’t get free. “Why would you think I want you to go? I want you to stay with me the rest of our lives!” I had no idea what was going on. Why had Emmy freaked out like that? Why did she think I wanted her to leave?
“Leah, please. Please. Oh, Leah, I am sorry, I am so sorry. I love you, Leah…” and she started crying in earnest, and couldn’t get any more words out. I pulled her face against my shoulder and hugged her hard, wanting to communicate that it was O.K. Whatever it was that was causing her such anguish was a mystery to me, but at that moment all I wanted was for my beautiful, strange, tormented girlfriend to know that I was just as much in love with her as ever, and that wasn’t going to change.
We lay back down on the bed, me holding Emmy as tightly as I could, wishing there was something more I could do. After a couple of minutes it got too much for me, and I started crying, too. I don’t know how long that went on, but I do know that Emmy’s quiet sobbing absolutely broke my heart.
Eventually, Emmy stilled as her tears finally ran dry. I kept telling her that I loved her, and I never wanted her to leave, ever.
When Emmy got her voice back, she apologized again. “I am so sorry, Leah. So very sorry.”
“I don’t understand,” I said. “What are you sorry for? What’s going on, Em? What’s the matter?”
“You are frightened of me, Leah. I never wanted you to be scared of me,” she said in that pitiful voice that was tearing me up inside.
“What? No, no, Em. I’m not scared of you. How could I be scared of the girl I love more than anything? No, if anything, you make me feel safe and warm!” I protested.
“I do?” she asked, her voice sounding a little bit hopeful. “Because, Leah, that is how I feel with you, too. I feel better in your arms than I ever have before. Leah, I could never have imagined I would feel this way about anyone, and now, I could not imagine it if this were taken away…” I guess even thinking or saying it was too much, because she started crying again, in that terrible silent way of hers, her body shuddering with every sob, but almost no noise other than the sound of her ragged breathing. I held her tight, swearing to myself that I would never do anything to make Emmy cry again.
“No one is going to take this away, Em,” I whispered. “No one, ever.”
Eventually Emmy fell asleep, still in my arms. My T shirt was soaked with her tears, but there was no way I was going to let go of her to change it. No, Emmy needed me. She needed me to be there for her, and that is exactly what I was doing.
It took me a long time to fall asleep, and it wasn’t just because I was holding Emmy tighter than a boa constrictor. No, what kept me awake is thinking about what had happened. I’d mentioned dogs and wolves and she had panicked, thinking that I meant that I was afraid she’d what, kill me? Something like that, I guess. She’d thought I was afraid of her, and didn’t want her around.
Why would she think that? What had I done or said to make her jump to that conclusion? I mean, O.K., I’d said that wolves kill dogs, and implied that her kind might kill humans like me, but I didn’t mean… ah, hell. What did I mean? Resigning myself to another uncomfortable discussion in the morning, I let myself drift off.
Surprisingly, Emmy was awake when I woke up. She was propped on her elbow, looking at me when I opened my eyes. It took me a bit to clear my head, but when I did I saw Emmy had a sad expression on her face as she silently stared at me. Sad, and kind of wistful, I guess.
“What’s up?” I croaked, my usual exuberance at getting up at five A.M. deserting me.
“Leah, I was serious last night.” Emmy said. “I do not want to scare you, or Tiffany. I will leave you alone and never trouble you again if you would prefer.”
“What? No! I was serious, too. I want you, Em. I want you forever. And by forever, I mean forever.” My voice was level, but my heart was beating like crazy. The thought of Emmy leaving my life was just something I couldn’t bear.
“I would do it, Leah, for you. If you ever feel threatened or frightened by me, just tell me and I will leave you in peace.”
“I don’t understand where this is coming from, Em,” I protested, feeling my own tears start to well up. “I don’t understand what this is about. Have I ever said I was afraid of you? Have I ever said I wanted you to leave?” With that, I felt my tears start to flow. How could she be this way, I wondered. How could she say these things?
I saw that her faucets were running, too, as tears streamed down her face. “Leah, you said you thought that I would kill you.” Her voice was surprisingly level, but her expression showed how much Emmy was suffering inside.
“No!” I said. “That isn’t what I said! Well, not what I meant, anyway. Em, Emmy… don’t ever think that I want you to go!” I’m pretty sure that it was her matter-of-fact tone when she said she would leave that was doing it to me. Last night she’d just seemed freaked out and emotional, but this morning she sounded determined, and that did scare me. The thought that Emmy really would leave me alone was too much to bear.
“What I meant was… hell, I don’t know what I meant. But I never meant that you should leave, Em. I never want that. Not ever.”
“I do not want to leave you, Leah. It is the last thing in the world that I want,” Emmy said, her voice breaking. “I want to be with you for the rest of my life.”
“Let’s skip school today and just stay here, in bed.” I suggested. “I…” and I couldn’t think of any more to say, so I pulled her close and kissed Emmy, a hot, needy kiss that I hoped would say more than I could with words. Emmy relaxed into my kiss, and I detected more that a hint of relief in the way she kissed me back.
“What do we tell your mother?” asked Emmy. “She would not like us staying in bed.”
“No, she won’t.” I agreed with a sigh. “She comes home for lunch a lot of the time, too, so we can’t just leave and then come back.” Thinking for a moment, I said “I know- we can go for a drive! Maybe drive up to the mountains again. I just want us to spend the day together.”
“That sounds good to me. I need to tell you some things, Leah, and I am not sure how to do it. A day in the mountains might be good.”
“Is it something I don’t want to hear?” I asked, sudden dread filling me at the idea that Emmy might tell me something that might change my mind on wanting her to stay.
“Probably,” she admitted. “But I can not continue to keep secrets from you. This is important.”
“Will it make me love you any less?” I asked, really starting to get worried.
“Oh, Leah, I sincerely hope not. I just want you to keep an open mind.” Then, changing the subject, Emmy asked in a hopeful voice “Can we take a shower together this morning?”
Stunned at Emmy’s emotional gymnastics but all too happy to get off any uncomfortable subjects, I was glad to agree. I needed the physical reassurance that our love was strong every bit as much as she did.
After our usual coffee we hit the road. We drove up to Temecula, then cut southeast and up into the hills. When we eventually got to Julian, Emmy suggested we stop for apple pie again, like we had that first weekend she slept over at my house.
So far, our conversation had been light and unimportant. We talked about school, Stanford, Allie, and so on. Anything to avoid touching any nerves. I didn’t know how to ask the questions that were still only half-formed in my head, and Emmy sure didn’t seem to want to talk about what was bothering her so much. Fortified by some apple pie a la mode and a cup of coffee, I finally broached the subject.
“Em,” I said as we got back on the road. “You wanted to tell me something, something about the other night, and, uh, the seeing in the dark thing. Whatever it is, I’m ready to listen, and I promise that whatever it is, well... I don’t know. You said I might not want to hear it, but I think that not talking about it is worse.” I reached over and put my hand on her thigh to let her know I loved her, and whatever it was, everything was going to be O.K.
“Oh, Leah, I-” she started, her nervousness coming through loud and strong. I gave her leg a squeeze in support, and she continued. “Leah, you realized that I can see in the dark. I told you it was because I am not really human in the sense that you are. I am from a separate species of the hominid family tree, and we are evolved for the dark.”
“Yeah, you told me all that the other night,” I agreed. “So what else did you want to tell me?” I asked, wondering what she was trying to get around to saying.
“Leah, my people, we are predators. Perhaps parasites might be a more accurate term. We have lived on the fringes of human society, taking what we needed or wanted for thousands and thousands of years. We are thieves and we are kidnappers and sometimes killers. We have a very long history of doing evil things, Leah.”
“I kinda figured,” I admitted. “I thought about what you told Tiff the first time you came for dinner. You made it seem like a joke, but you were trying to drop hints even back then, weren’t you?”
“Yes, that is true. I wanted you to figure it out, Leah. I wanted to be honest with you, but my culture is one of complete secrecy and I simply could not bring myself to spill the cat out of the bag.”
“‘Let the cat out of the bag’ or ‘spill the beans’,” I corrected, smiling at her misuse of the slang.
“Yes, let the cat out of the bag. I simply could not do that. I am sorry, Leah. I never meant to lie to you, I want you to know that.”
“I don’t think you did, Em. I mean, the subject obviously never came up. I never asked ‘Emmy, are you are creature from myth who is used in fairy tales to scare children?’, did I? I mean, O.K., the reverse albino bit, sure, but I can understand that.”
“You are missing the point, Leah,” Emmy said, holding my hand on her leg. “What I am trying to tell you is that perhaps the wolves and dogs comparison is apt. My people have fed off yours for as long as we’ve existed. We have been used to scare children in the fairy tales for good reason. We are evil, Leah. Evil and dangerous."
Realizing there was no way to have this conversation while driving, I pulled over at a turnout that had a lovely view of a small valley below. I hardly had eyes for the sights, because I turned my attention to Emmy. I reached over and gently pulled her dark glasses off so I could I look her in the eyes. "Em, I think I understand. Really, I'm pretty sure I get the idea. You're what the fairy tales call a bogeyman, and bogeymen did terrible things. I mean, I get it. But the reality is that you are the one I love, and you are the one I want to spend forever with. I don't care if you're a 'Homo Nocturnis', a bogeyman, or even, I don’t know, a Presbyterian or something. What matters to me is who you are," I said, laying my hand on her chest so I could feel her heartbeat. "In here. Do you love me?" I asked.
"More than I can say, Leah. More than anything."
"And I love you so much it hurts," I affirmed. "That's what matters. You've never kidnapped any children, have you?" I asked, half joking, half serious.
"Me? No!" Emmy protested. "It has been against the law for generations now. Our people are forbidden from harming or stealing from the people of the daylight. We do not do those things any more."
"My ancestors used to rape, pillage and kill everywhere their longboats came ashore, Em. Does that mean that I do those things? Of course not. We can't be held responsible for the actions of others, can we?"
"Oh, Leah, I am so glad..." Emmy said, but then burst into tears again.
I unbuckled my seatbelt so I could lean over and take her into my arms, making vague comforting noises. "What is it, Em?" I asked. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing is wrong, Leah, nothing." Emmy replied, tears still streaming down her face.
"Then why are you crying?"
"I was so afraid to talk to you about this, I was so scared you would hate me for what I am."
"What made you think I would?" I asked, wiping away her tears with my thumb.
"Day walkers have always feared and hated us, Leah. Always, for thousands and thousands of years. For good reason, I guess," Emmy said, her voice still shaky.
"Well, maybe those days are past,” I replied. “I certainly don't fear or hate you, and neither does anybody else that we know, right? I mean, people are curious when they see you, but I haven't seen anybody get out any torches or pitchforks, have you?" She looked puzzled by the reference, so I explained. "I mean that nobody has reacted negatively to you, have they? I mean, assholes like Jake Merrick aside, pretty much everybody just accepts you as you are, don't they?"
"Yes, most do," Emmy admitted. "But it is so difficult to put myself out there, knowing that if people knew what I am they would react differently."
"How do you know?" I asked. "I mean, how many people have figured it out and taken it badly?"
"Nobody has done so here in California," Emmy admitted. "But sometimes, especially in small towns or villages back in Europe, people knew. When traveling with my parents, we always had bodyguards just in case, and occasionally they proved necessary."
"Why there and not here?" I wondered.
"Too close to the old ways, my parents say. That is why we moved here, to be where there are no others like us, and no one would know or remember who we are."
"Wait- there aren't any more like you here?" I asked, surprised.
"No, none that we know of at least. You have to understand, Leah. It is very hard for my people to travel. Historically, in the past, we could travel at night through the countryside. Ships presented a terrible challenge, and very, very few of us made it to the New World. This land was never settled by our people in any numbers, and the few that managed to set up communities are almost all in the old cities on the east coast. Out here we are virtually nonexistent."
Telling me about her peoples' history seemed to help shake her out of her funk, so I encouraged her. "But your family is different," I said. "You guys don't hide at all."
"No, we do not. My father has a plan to prove to our people that it is possible to live in the daylight. That is why we are living the way we do, as proof that it can be done.”
We got back on the road, and I think we were both glad to have cleared the air. Emmy felt relieved that her terrible secret wasn’t so terrible after all, and I was glad that she felt more secure about our relationship. It didn’t take long for Emmy to perk back up to her cheerful self and soon the drive felt more like a fun day out than anything.
That night, as we lay in bed, I asked Emmy a question that had been nagging at me. “Em, you said your people are banned from harming any daylighters, right?”
“Yes,” she agreed, as she snuggled deeper into my arms as we spooned.
“And it’s been that way for a long time now?”
“Many generations,” murmured Emmy as she drifted off to sleep.