The next few days were uneventful as far as I was concerned. Angela took her folks to some tourist attraction or another every day, but Emmy and I more or less did our usual things. I worked and went to school while Emmy worked on her music. At some point, I’m not really sure when, I realized that both Emmy and I had gotten into the habit of calling Mrs Castro “Mamá,” which seemed to please her greatly.
Of course, she cooked most nights. Tuesday and Thursday she had something waiting for me when I got home from class, which was nice. Mamá seemed to really enjoy seeing Emmy and me try out all of her traditional Colombian dishes, too. Some of them were familiar, since Angela had cooked them before, but some were new to us.
Somehow Mr Castro had turned into “Papá” for Emmy, but he’d insisted I call him Rafael. I’m not totally clear on the distinction, but I guess at some level he subconsciously viewed me as the head of the household (I don’t want to say ‘the man of the family,’ as facile as that may be) and therefore equal in some way rather than daughter-in-law, which would be of a somehow subordinate status.
Saturday morning rolled around and the catering and party rental crews arrived to get set up. For the most part I felt like a third wheel, since Emmy and Angela had it all planned out. All I really had to do was to talk to Grant, Jody and Eddie about security, and deal with the valet company that was going to be parking the cars. Sure, we had the biggest parking lot (“motor court” in realtor-speak) of any house I’d ever seen, befitting the past history as a film studio, but still, thought needed to be given about how fifty or so cars might fit.
A few people showed up early to help get things set up, but that really wasn’t necessary at all, so Jenna, Andy, Jen and Lee mostly just wound up meeting the in-laws and hanging around the living room.
Mom and Tiffany arrived about two hours early. I’d asked them to show up then so they could meet the Castro family, which went really well. Mom was pleased to be able to practice her Spanish, and Mrs Castro was happy to oblige.
Rafael and I were out in front trying to seem as if we were doing something productive when a dark 7 series BMW pulled into the motor court. A familiar-looking blonde man got our of the driver’s seat and opened the passenger door for Emmy’s mother.
“Emmy’s parents,” I said to Rafael. “They haven’t met Angela yet- I think they just flew in from France for this. We should say hello.”
To his credit, he didn’t balk at all, walking by my side over to the car.
“Madame De Lascaux, Monsieur,” I said. “Please let me introduce Angela’s father, Rafael Castro, from Cartagena, Colombia. Rafael, these are Emmy’s parents, from Paris, France.”
Rafael held out his hand and Emmy’s dad took it. The two shook with a degree of seriousness and dignity that I found appealing, while I gave Emmy’s mom a double cheek kiss.
“Where is the princess?” she asked. Then, looking around, she asked, “Is this really a house?”
Laughing, I told her to go through the correct door and yes, the house is hidden behind the recording and film studio. “Emmy will love to give you a tour,” I said.
“You are looking well, Leah,” Emmy’s dad said as he shook my hand. “Life must be treating you well.”
“It is,” I said. “But there are things I’d like to talk to you about later.”
Nodding, he said, “Of course,” and followed his wife into the house.
“He seems to be a very serious man,” Rafael said as we watched the two of them go inside.
“When he was younger, he killed a tiger at night in the jungle in Thailand with only a knife,” I said.
“You’re joking.”
“No, he has the tiger skin in his study at home, and photographs of him with the villagers,” I said.
“That is… very serious,” Rafael said.
“His family has owned their land in France since the twelfth century or something like that, too,” I said.
“Very serious,” Rafael said.
“You’ll get to talk to him later,” I said. “He’s scary, but actually pretty easy to get along with once you get to know him. Come on- let’s go check to make sure the bar is up and running.”
We made our way to the break room, where the bar had been stocked up and the two bartenders were setting up their equipment and making sure everything was ready.
“Hey, guys,” I said. “My name’s Leah. I’m the owner here, so if you need anything, just let me know.”
One of the two bartenders looked puzzled. “I thought this was Emmy’s house?”
“Emmy’s my wife,” I said. “But don’t bother her if you have any issues. Talk to me, or if it’s a security problem, let one of the security guys know. I’ll have them come over and introduce themselves. In the meanwhile, can I get a Manhattan? Do you want anything, Rafael?”
“I usually don’t drink before dinner, but I will have what she’s having, too,” he said, and the bartender whipped up a couple of decent drinks for us.
Our plastic cups in hand, we strolled out to the pool area, where Grant was talking to a couple of guys about pool safety. I’d hired the two to work solely as lifeguards, in case anybody wanted to swim- especially any kids that might show up. I’d heard too many horror stories of parties where everybody assumed somebody else was watching the kids, only to find them at the bottom of the pool.
“Grant, make sure you and the other two guys introduce yourselves to the bartenders. That might be where troubles start, if there are going to be any.”
“Right,” he said.
“There’s a blonde guy named Edouard with Emmy’s parents. He’s their security guy- make sure he understands the situation, too. You’ll have no problem recognizing him.”
“You seem to be very comfortable giving orders,” Rafael commented as we headed back towards the front of the house.
I paused for a moment, thinking about how to respond. I’d come to like and respect the man and didn’t want to give him some sort of bullshit story, but I also wasn’t sure telling him that I had a paramilitary hit squad was the right idea, either. Finally, I said, “Later, tonight, I want to tell you some things.”
He stopped walking and looked at me. “Is this something I want to hear?”
“Probably not,” I admitted. “But I hate keeping secrets from family, so you should know.”
He pondered what I said, then nodded. “It’s no good to keep secrets from those who are close to you.” It struck me that in that short exchange, we both voiced our feelings and our acceptance of each other as in-laws, and nothing more needed to be said on the subject. We were family.
I spotted a familiar blue and white Toyota with a mountain bike on its rear rack pulling into the motor court, so I urged Rafael to follow me. “Come on,” I said. “More family to meet.”
Bemused, he did as I’d suggested and we walked up to where Grace was hanging out the driver’s side window, arguing with the valet.
“Hey, kid,” I said, interrupting.
“Mom!” Grace said, her face lighting up in a smile.
“So,” I said to to the valet, “she doesn’t actually get to park here. She should park in the garage down below.”
“Garage?” the young guy asked, baffled.
“Yeah, the garage,” I said. Turning to Grace, I told her to exit the gate, go downhill to the very next gate and I’d buzz her in. “You might get there before I do, so be patient.”
Rafael followed me back into the house, but stopped in the kitchen, where everybody else had gathered.
“Grace is here,” I explained to Emmy in response to her quizzical look. “I’m going to have her bring her car into the garage.”
“Grace is here?” Tiffany asked, jumping out of her seat to follow me downstairs.
I opened the roll-up door to one of the empty bays and then stepped out and used the clicker to open the gate. She stopped in the driveway to say hello when Tiffany got her attention.
“Grace! You came!” she said, excited.
“Hey, little auntie!” Grace said, leaning out of the car window and holding out her hand.
Tiffany gave her an enthusiastic slap on the palm and said, “Big niece! We missed you at Christmas!”
“Yeah, well, about that…” Grace said, looking a bit sheepish. “But hey, I’m here now, right?”
“You gotta see this house!” Tiffany said. “It’s crazy!”
Interrupting the conversation, I said to Grace that she should pull into the garage and come upstairs to say hello to everyone. “I’ve got to go back out front to greet people as they come in,” I said, handing her the remote for the gate and garage door.
“I’ll show you to where you’ll be staying. It’s the room right next to mine!” Tiffany said, walking around and climbing into the passenger seat of the FJ. I left them and circled around the back of the house, past the pool and out to the front again, just in time to say hello to the next round of guests.
People were starting to trickle in, both on foot and in cars. Those walking up had to be neighbors, since I didn't know any of them. Of course, this was expected, and I introduced myself and welcomed them just the same.
While I was talking to a couple of ladies that were from the house just above ours on the hillside, my driving buddies all rolled in as a group. It was funny to see the familiar Ferrari, AMG, Corvette and McLaren but with an unfamiliar older Cayenne in the mix. Of course it was Geoff, the only one who needed more than two seats for the occasion.
While the boys got out and handed their keys to the valet, I told the two women (who were obviously a couple, with the small, athletic-looking redhead showing an obvious baby bump) to go on in and make themselves comfortable. “Emmy is in there,” I said. “But pretty soon the party is going to be too big to hang out in just the kitchen, you know? We have catering set up in the break room over there, with an open bar for those of us that can drink tonight,” I said, looking down at the redhead’s tummy. I actually almost got a little weak in the knees thinking about Emmy and Angela in that state, but brushed it aside.
Jimmy’s sullen little sister was the only one of the guys’ ‘plus ones’ that I’d ever met before, so I got introduced to Geoff’s wife Linda and their two little girls, who were about eight and ten years old. I told them that my sister was in the house, and she was just about to turn twelve years old. To Linda and Geoff, I said that I was glad they could come, and repeated my spiel about snacks and drinks.
Teddy Bear had an actress I recognized but couldn’t put a name to for his date, but Stein and Stephen were flying solo. I told them that I needed to stay outside to greet guests as they arrived, but please go on in. The only one who didn’t was Stein, and he made his way to the break room to grab a bite and a drink.
“Bring me back an Old Fashioned,” I told him as he went in the direction I pointed.
“Open bar, open sesame!” he said as he walked away.
In the next hour or so a ton of people I didn’t know showed up, neighbors and music industry types alike. People were freely helping themselves to the catering and the bar by that point, too, and not simply jamming into the living room.
Angela and Emmy came out to give me a break in front, so I made my way to the break room to see how things were going there.
Teddy Bear was playing pool with a guy who’d introduced himself as a neighbor from three doors up the street, and it seemed as if they knew each other. Teddy Bear’s date was nowhere around, but I didn’t give it much thought.
Linda and Geoff were by the pool, eating and drinking while their two girls, Tiffany, Grace, plus a couple of kids from the neighborhood were all splashing around in the pool, despite the cool evening. I’d had the pool heater turned up just for this, and the invitation had specifically said that the pool would be available, so I was glad somebody was enjoying it.
“You two doing O.K.?” I asked as I walked up, enjoying the kids’ energy.
“Yeah, great!” Linda said. “I was doubtful about the pool when the invite said to bring swimsuits for the kids, but I felt the water and it’s really warm!”
“They’re going to get chilled when they get out, though,” I said. “The night’s cooling off fast.”
“Well, it is January,” Geoff said with a shrug. “Even here in Los Angeles that does mean winter.”
“Or what passes for it around here,” I agreed.
“Um, your… excuse me, I’m not really sure,” Linda said, trying to find the right words. “Her name is Angela, right? The pretty one with the dark hair?”
“Yeah, that’s Angela,” I said. “The one who looks as if she’s about seventeen years old? She’s actually older than I am, can you believe it?”
“She does look young. I think the term is ‘fresh-faced’,” Linda said. “Anyway, she said she’s your wife, but I thought Geoff said that you’re married to Emmy Lascaux.”
I looked around and found a nearby chair, so I pulled it up and sat down. “This is going to seem weird. It’s still weird to me, and I’m living it,” I said, taking a sip of my drink. “Emmy and I got married a few years ago, when we were both still in college at Stanford. She started her music career, and it took off, so when I graduated, we moved down here to LA to be where the industry is. We met Angela when we were living in Century City, and one thing led to another and we both fell in love with her. I mean, you’ve met her, right? She’s pretty, smart, motivated… What’s not to like? She fell in love with us both, too, and we somehow became a threesome. She told us that she wanted to be with us forever, and so Emmy asked her to commit to us, which she did. Although we clearly can’t all three get married, Emmy and I do consider Angela to be our wife, and she thinks the same about us. Sure, it’s not legally sanctioned, but to us, it’s true.”
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“You’re kidding,” Geoff said.
“Like I said, it’s weird, but to us, it feels right.”
“It seems like a recipe for, I don’t know, jealousy,” Linda said, her brows furrowed.
“I think it could be in most cases, yeah,” I agreed. “But I haven’t felt it in ours. Mostly I just miss them both when I have to go out of town for work or something, and I’m happy they have each other then.”
Linda turned to her husband and said, “Now, don’t you be getting any ideas,” which broke whatever tension there might have been.
“So, anyway, you were saying about Angela? Wife number two?” I asked, smiling to show that I was happy she hadn’t gotten upset at the whole thing.
“She gave us a tour of the house and the studio,” Linda said. “It’s amazing. Just pulling into the parking lot, or being in the movie studio, you’d never know there was a big, huge house hiding behind it.”
“That was the idea,” I said. “When I found this place for sale, the previous owner had been ignoring most of the building. They lived in part of the place and used the sound stage for a sort of art gallery, but most of the old film studio area was simply left cold and unlit.”
Looking back towards the main building, I continued. “I had the architect carve out a real house from what was mostly office space and like you said, hide it in plain sight, so we could use the studio facilities as they were meant, but not have musicians and actors wandering through our living room.”
“Nobody wants that,” Geoff said.
“Exactly,” I agreed. “Anyway, when the kids are done, come around to the sound stage. We have entertainment set up for eight o’clock.”
Linda glanced at her phone to check the time. “You said the party was kid-friendly until nine?”
“That’s when the show is over,” I said. “After that it’s your judgement whether you want to stay- and you’re certainly welcome. It’s up to you.”
"Alright,” Geoff said, standing up when I did and walking with me a little bit. “Leah,” he said. “Thanks for inviting us, and for going out of your way to make the kids welcome. I know you and I, we maybe got off to a rocky start, but- well, you’re alright.”
“That means a lot to me, Geoff,” I said, clapping him on the back. “Hey, you guys make sure you enjoy yourselves, and you don’t need to be stuck by the pool watching the kids. I do have professional lifeguards keeping an eye on things.”
“Yeah, we really should do some mingling,” he agreed as he turned back to rejoin his wife.
Back in the break room, the tall brunette and her pregnant partner were playing pool against Teddy Bear and his date. Neither team looked all that good, but I wouldn’t have been much of a challenge. As I was watching, Stephanie, then Stephen, came in to get some refreshments.
“It pains me to watch this,” Stephanie said, indicating the inept game of billiards.
“Yeah, they're pretty bad,” Stephen agreed. Turning to Stephanie, he asked, “Do you play much?” At my snort of laughter, he said, “I’m guessing that means you’re good.”
“I play,” she said. “Not as much as I used to. I don’t have a table of my own.”
“Hey, we get next round,” Stephen called out to the players.
“You want to play the winners?” Teddy Bear asked, after missing a shot and handing the cue to the tall brunette. I made a mental note to learn their names, since they were neighbors and obviously ‘family’.
“No, me against Stephanie,” Stephen said. It surprised me he knew her name, then I remembered she’d been at the Willow Springs birthday track day.
“Make sure you break,” I warned Stephen in a low voice as Stephanie went to select a cue. “She’ll run the table.”
“Seriously?” he asked, surprised.
“She wins tournaments,” I said, low enough that Stephanie couldn’t hear me.
“Well, I guess I stepped my foot in it, didn’t I?”
“Don’t bet money,” I advised with a chuckle.
At ten minutes to eight, Emmy announced over the whole house speaker system that the night’s entertainment was going to start and everybody should find their way to the sound stage.
“We should go watch,” I said to Margaret, the tall brunette, who was married to Olivia, the little redhead who was carrying their first child. “Emmy has something special planned.”
Margaret gave me a disbelieving look. “Emmy De Lascaux is going to perform at her own party?”
“She loves to perform,” I said with a shrug.
By the time we got to the sound stage, quite a crowd had gathered. The kids were all sitting on blankets up near the stage that had been set up, but the adults were all milling around in the middle of the audience area, wondering what was about to happen.
Emmy came out onto the stage and said, “Hello, everyone! Thank you all for coming to our housewarming party tonight! I hope you have all been visiting with old friends or family, and also making new friends. I would imagine that most people here tonight do not know more than a handful of others, but that simply makes it a great opportunity to get to meet your new friends, right?”
This got a laugh from the crowd, so she continued on. “As you probably all know, I am one third of a little band we call The Downfall.” This got more laughs, because of course, everyone knew who she was. “Well, my two fellow bandmates and best friends in the whole world agreed to help me put on a little show tonight for you all. This is a big thank you to all of our amazingly patient neighbors who’ve had to deal with our construction noise and dust for the past half year, and to our family and friends who put up with us on a daily basis. Thank you very much of all of your support.”
With that, Lee and Jackson came onstage, and that’s when I noticed all three had on beachwear. They took their places, and unlike pretty much all Downfall shows, didn’t do a long, improvised instrumental intro, but just started playing their first song. It was ‘The Tide Is High’ by Blondie, which made sense with the beach theme. After that, they played a reggae version of one of their songs from their first album, which oddly sounded right somehow.
Mirroring my thoughts, Margaret leaned over and asked, “Was that always a reggae song and I just somehow missed it?”
I laughed and admitted that similar thoughts had crossed my mind. I forget what the third song was, but it carried the island rhythms also, even though it was originally a rock tune.
By this time some of the kids in front had started dancing, which inspired some of the adults to do the same. Olivia took Margaret’s hand and dragged her up towards the front so they could dance. I felt a little pang of envy, wishing that Angela were nearby, too, but I couldn’t see her in the crowd.
When Emmy saw all the dancers her smile grew wider and she said, “We love to see people dance! Do not be shy!”
All in all, maybe half of the crowd danced to the tropical versions of familiar tunes that The Downfall was playing by the time the hour came to a close and the band finished. Once the three stepped offstage and came out into the audience, the home speaker system resumed its playlist of easy beach music, but much louder than it had been before the show. Earlier it had been quiet and in the background unless you were right next to one of the dozens of speakers scattered around the property or in the house, but now it was loud enough that you had to be close to hold conversations.
Linda and Geoff found me to say goodnight, as did a few of the neighbors who’d brought kids.
“You have an amazing home,” one of the neighbors said as they said their goodbyes.
“Please, do not be strangers,” Emmy said. “We're only a few houses uphill from you, after all. We should set up an evening for you to come over and have dinner on a normal night, when it is not so crazy. And feel free to bring Bradley and Jameson, too.”
When that family left I asked Emmy, “When did you have time to get to know them?”
“I talked quite a bit with Kennedy and Josh earlier, when they arrived,” she said, once again displaying her mind-boggling ability to remember names. “They live in the green two-story house on the other side of the street just down the hill.”
Figuring I should mingle and do some meeting and greeting, I made my way inside the house for the first time in hours. Unsurprisingly, my mom, Mamá Castro and Emmy’s mother were all sitting together in the living room, involved in conversation. Surprisingly, they were speaking in Spanish.
“Hi, honey,” Mom said when I found them.
“Are you three doing O.K.?” I asked. “Can I get you anything?”
“We’re fine,” Mom said, holding up her wine glass to indicate they had everything they needed.
“This is quite a home you’ve made for the princess, and for Angela,” Emmy’s mother said. “It suits the three of you well.”
“We like it,” I said. “It took a lot of work to make it this way, but it’s perfect for what we need.”
“Yes, and it shows the attention to detail. The home is lovely, at the same time as the studio is very business-like. It’s a remarkable fusion,” Emmy’s mother said.
“You haven’t seen the New York townhouse yet, have you?” I asked, pretty sure the Lascauxs hadn’t.
“No, not yet. Emmy sent photos, but I suspect that they do not do it justice,” she replied.
“You really should. It’s pretty amazing, too, but completely different from this place,” I said. Then, “Mom, you and Tiffany should see it sometime soon, too. And spend some time checking out New York.”
“I think we are going on Monday,” Mamá Castro said. “Just for a few days.”
“I haven’t spent any time in New York since…” Mom trailed off, looking thoughtful. “Let me know when you’re going there next, and maybe I can schedule a visit. It would be good for Tiffany to see the East Coast.”
Pleased the three moms seemed to be getting along, I made my excuses and went off in search of others to mingle with.
I found Teddy Bear talking to a couple of other guys I didn’t know about on-set stuff, then out in the break room found Stephanie taking on challengers while she played pool one-handed, never setting her wine glass down and still beating everyone.
I bumped into Jody out by the now-empty pool, talking to the two lifeguards. He was making it clear that at least one of them had to be poolside until the last guests left, but it was O.K. for them to take turns, as long as one was on duty at any given moment.
“Hey, Jody, how are things going?” I asked when we walked away from the pool a bit.
“No issues,” he said. “Grant was kind enough to let me have the show duty, so I got to see The Downfall play. That was amazing. Really amazing,” he said. “I mean, just amazing.”
“Was it amazing?” I asked, teasing.
“Truly fucking amazing,” he confirmed with a smile.
I found Angela, Jenna, Andy and most of my driving buddies in the garage. They’d gone down there to see my new car, and when I got there Angela was telling the story about the fight in the restaurant parking lot in Arizona.
“So she’s like, boom!” Angela said, making a kicking motion. “The guy slams into the car and drops his gun. Leah just casually kicks it away like it was nothing, then throws him down on the ground next to the first guy. The third guy looks at her, and she’s like, ‘get lost’,” Angela said in her best Dirty Harry voice. “And he does. He takes off running, no looking back.”
“I think my exact words were, ‘fuck off’,” I said, wrapping my arm around Angela’s waist.
“And he did. He fucked right off,” Angela said to the group.
“I’ve seen Leah tell people to fuck off before,” Andy said. “They always do.”
“I wanna be you when I grow up,” Jimmy said to me.
“That’s never going to happen,” Stein said. “Since you’re never going to grow up.”
“Truth,” Jimmy said, his shoulders drooping. “How can I ever grow up, the way my mom keeps infantilizing me? She still treats me like a little kid.”
“Tell her to fuck off? It works for Leah,” Stein suggested, unhelpfully.
Jimmy snorted at the idea. “Yeah, no. Not gonna happen.”
That killed the conversation for a moment, until Jimmy perked back up. “Hey, Liz, gonna bring out the Porsche next week?”
“Next weekend is a San Jose weekend for me,” I said. “No driving.”
“Then can I borrow it?” he asked, looking hopeful.
“Wait, Liz?” Andy asked, confused.
Shrugging, I said, “Don’t ask.”
Later, after at least half the guests had gone, I wandered out onto the deck only to hear voices. I made my way over to the hot tub to find a guy I recognized from TV in the hot tub, along with Solange the aspiring actress, and to my horror, Jimmy’s sister and Cecilia Castro.
As I got close I saw no top on either Solange or Jimmy’s sister. Solange’s terribly fake boobs were right at water level, her pink nips raising above the waterline with every movement. Jimmy’s sister was quite a bit shorter, so hers were mostly covered. Thankfully, Cecilia had on her swimsuit, as abbreviated as it was.
“Underage,” I said, putting my hand on Jimmy’s sister’s head but looking the guy in the eyes. “Seriously underaged,” I said, putting my hand on Cecilia’s head. I was a bit gratified to see the look of dismay on the guy’s face- at least he hadn’t realized.
“Actually, you know what? You two, out,” I said. “This isn’t appropriate for you two.”
The guy started to get out of the hot tub, too, but I waved him back down. There was no need for the two girls to see his peen as he emerged.
“No, you and Solange are cool, it’s alright. But these girls have to get dressed and go back inside,” I said.
Begrudgingly, the two teenaged girls climbed out of the hot tub, and to my lack of surprise, Jimmy’s little sister was completely naked. Of course, Cecilia’s swimsuit only just barely covered anything, so it’s not like it was much better, but still…
I handed both of them towels from the linen cabinet right there. Glancing over at the actor (who I remembered had been introduced as a neighbor), I was pleased to see he had the decency to be looking away rather than at the two naked or nearly naked girls.
Cecilia merely wrapped the towel around herself and begged me not to tell her mom, then bolted inside. Jimmy’s sister glared at me, but didn’t say anything as she made a point of drying her back with the taut towel in such a way that it made her small breasts sway back and forth, not attempting to cover herself up at all until she actually put her clothes back on. I’d heard but never really understood the term ‘hate sex’, but this was as close as I ever wanted to get to it. Jimmy’s little sister (whose name I don’t think I’d ever heard) was definitely hate-seducing me, or at least trying to.
After she finished putting her clothes on and went back inside, the actor guy started to get out again, but I said he didn’t have to and was fine- just be a bit more careful about who joined him in there.
Making a mental note to change the hot tub’s water the next day, I left the two of them to do whatever it was they were going to do, and continued on my rounds.
I found Stephanie in the break room, still humiliating any challengers at the pool table. From what I could gather she was now taking on groups- in this case, Stein, Stephen, Jimmy and Teddy Bear. Each of the guys got a turn on solids before she took her turn and ran the table on stripes.
As we watched Stephanie sink the balls with precision, Stephen leaned in to ask me how I knew Stephanie.
“From high school,” I said. “Back in Fallbrook.”
Straightening up, Stephanie said, “We were girlfriends right at the end of senior year and into college.”
“Girlfriends?” Jimmy asked. “Like, girl friend girlfriends, or girlfriend girlfriends?”
“Leah used to rock my world hard,” Stephanie said, leaning against the table with her hip. “I mean, hard.”
“Why is life so unfair?” Jimmy wailed, looking up at the ceiling and holding up his arms.
Stein just shook his head, but whether it was at Jimmy’s antics or Stephanie’s admission, I couldn’t tell.
I stepped forward and leaned down and gave Stephanie a little kiss on the lips. “Swimming pools will always remind me of you,” I said, making Jimmy groan again.
Of course, this got Stein laughing so hard he almost choked on his drink, which got everybody else laughing, too. Stephanie turned back to the table and intentionally sank the eight ball before its time, throwing the game.
“I think that’s it for me tonight, boys,” she announced. “I’ve got to head home. One of my bands has a gig in Irvine tomorrow and I’ve got a lot of work to do.”
I gave Stephanie a big hug, then another little kiss. “Drive safe, babe.”
“I’ve hardly had anything to drink,” she replied. “I’m O.K. to drive. Tell everyone I said goodnight.”
After she left, Stephen asked, “Seriously? You’ve had nothing but the hottest since high school?”
“Steph isn’t just hot,” I said. “She’s also smart, and works her ass off to get what she wants. She’s the complete package.”
“Yeah, she’s top shelf, alright,” he agreed, still looking in the direction she’d gone.
Just as Stein was racking the balls again Jimmy’s sister came into the break room, looking for him. She spoke sharply to him in Chinese, shooting daggers with her eyes at me.
After a minute’s back and forth, he put his cue in the rack and said, “Well, me boyos, looks like I gotta bail. See you on Wednesday, Stein?”
After she dragged him out, Teddy Bear asked, “What the heck was that about?”
“That’s his sister for you,” Stein said, lining up to break.
“A few minutes ago I found her naked in the hot tub with some actor guy,” I said. “I told him she was underaged, and told her to GTFO the hot tub and get dressed.”
“Holy shit,” Teddy Bear breathed, and even Stein had a look of disbelief on his face.
“Who’s the actor?” Stephen asked.
“I don’t know his name,” I said. “I guess he lives in the neighborhood. I mean, I know I’ve seen him on TV, but I couldn’t tell you what show.”
“Blonde guy, sorta built, about this tall?” asked Teddy, holding his hand at about six feet.
“He was in the hot tub,” I said, rolling my eyes. “I couldn’t tell you how tall- or how long- he was.”
“That’s what she said,” Stein cracked.
“But blonde, right? That was probably Mitchell Wagner. He’s in that Hawaii Five O reboot.”
Thinking about it for a moment, I said, “You’re probably right.”
“That’s awesome. I’m gonna give him so much shit next time I see him,” Teddy Bear said with a laugh. “Hey, wait, do you think he’s still in the hot tub? And where is that?”
“He might be,” I said with a shrug. “Besides the underaged girls, he had an aspiring actress in there with him.”
Looking around, he asked, “Shit- it wasn’t my date, was it?” which prompted another round of laughter from Stein, and then Stephen.
“Nah, a chick with pink hair named Solange,” I said.
“Tall, fake boobs, grouper lips?” he asked.
“That’s her,” I said.
“I am so giving Mitch a full ration of shit!” Teddy Bear said, putting his cue in the rack and taking off to search for the hot tub. Of course, he went in the direction of the lagoon pool, so there was no way he was going to find it.
“This is rapidly moving into ‘most amusing party I've ever been to’ territory,” Stein said, lining up the break again.
“Well, there haven’t been any fights,” Stephen said, watching Stein’s distribution. “Looks like stripes,” he said.
“That’s probably thanks to the security,” I said. “I get winner.”
“Security? You mean the really serious-looking guys in tailored suits?” Stein asked, lining up his shot.
“Serious-looking is a good description,” Stephen said. “Where’d you even find those guys?”
“FTEs,” I said.
“You need security like that here?” Stephen asked, surprised.
“No, not here per se,” I said. “Those three guys are in my paramilitary death squad.”
“Wait- I thought you did all your killing yourself?” Stephen asked, running with it.
“Delegation is the key to success in any organization,” I explained.