There was no reason for me to get out of bed early the next morning- no workout, no heading into the office, no flight to catch, nothing. Seeing as I had a beautiful woman snuggling against me from either side, I actually had a very compelling reason to simply enjoy lying there, feeling loved. ‘Two very compelling reasons,’ I thought to myself as I lay there, not wanting to disturb Emmy or Angela. Hearing their slow, steady breathing, smelling their hair, feeling their warm skin on mine… It was heaven.
I thought about how it had gone with Jenna and Andy the night before. Once the initial shock had worn off, the two had accepted our new living situation as just another facet of our admittedly unusual lives, and hadn’t had any problem with it as far as I could tell. Now if only the rest of our friends and family members were as accepting…
Eventually I did feel the inescapable need to use the bathroom, so I gently extricated myself from the various arms and legs and wriggled my way out of bed. Since I was up anyway, I took a shower and threw on a tank top and sweats, then made my way as quietly as I could to the living room to start my day.
As I poured myself a cup of coffee, Angela wandered out of the bedroom and stretched up on her tiptoes to give me a kiss.
“Good morning, Ange,” I told her, admiring the way she looked in my college team hoodie. It was way too big for her, so she’d rolled up the sleeves, but let the length form a sort of mini dress, falling to a little bit above mid thigh.
“Like this?” Angela asked, posing in the sweatshirt. Seeing something in my eyes that indicated that I did, she did a slow pirouette and raised her arms, which drew up the hem of the sweatshirt a bit, but not quite enough.
Laughing at the look on my face, Angela leaned in for another kiss. I slid my hands up under the back of the hoodie and cupped her butt, enjoying the feel of the delicate lace barely covering the firm flesh underneath.
We kissed like that for a few minutes, enjoying the intimacy as much as the physical sensation, but finally, it had to end.
“Good morning,” Angela said.
“It has been so far,” I agreed. “Is Em still asleep?” I asked.
“She isn’t a morning person,” Angela said by way of an answer.
“No, she isn’t. You should ask her why that is,” I suggested.
Not really understanding why I’d said that, Angela’s forehead wrinkled in puzzlement. “What do you mean?”
“Just ask her why she’s a night person, that’s all I’m saying. She’ll explain it.”
Still puzzled but willing to let it go, Angela asked for a cup of coffee, so I poured her one.
“I’m not sure about going to New York with Emmy tomorrow,” she said, leaning her hip against the kitchen island and taking a sip of her coffee. “I hate the idea of you being here all by yourself.”
Charmed, I smiled. “I won’t be here the next few days, anyway,” I replied. “After class tonight I’m going to San Jose- I’ll be there until Monday night.”
“For work?”
“Yeah, I have a lot to do up there,” I confirmed.
“That’s even worse. You’ll be in San Jose all by yourself, either at work or stuck in a hotel room. That sounds terrible,” Angela said, making a face.
“It won’t be like that. We have friends up there, and we’ve got a little condo near the office, so I won’t be in a hotel at all. I’ll work during the day, see friends in the evening, then go back to the condo for sleep.”
“You won’t be lonely?”
“Waking up this morning in bed with you and Emmy was wonderful, and obviously, I won’t have that,” I said. “But other than that, no, I won’t be lonely.”
“I can come to San Jose with you if you want,” Angela said, thinking about it.
“No, it’s cool,” I replied. “Go have fun in New York with Em,” I urged.
“If you’re sure…”
“I am,” I said.
Angela had gone down to the building’s gym by the time Emmy woke up, so she found me alone at the kitchen counter, reading the details of a development proposal that I needed to brush up on before my meeting the next day.
“Angela?” Emmy asked, rubbing sleep from her green, green eyes.
“Down in the gym,” I said absently. “Coffee?”
“Oh, very much yes,” Emmy replied, but then she intercepted me on my way to the coffee maker. “Kiss first,” she demanded. Happy to oblige, I took her in my arms and held her close. After the kiss had ended, she stayed nestled in my arms. “I am going to miss you while we are in New York,” she said, her voice soft. “I wish you could come with us.”
“I wish I could, too,” I agreed. “But I have school, and work- I just can’t take the time off right now.”
“I understand,” Emmy said, but I wasn’t convinced she meant it.
During our break in class that evening, Li asked about weekend plans, and I told her I had to go to San Jose for work. “I’m leaving right after class,” I explained.
“That’s gonna make for a late night,” Myles said.
“Yeah, it is,” I agreed. “I fly out of Burbank at ten, so I need to bolt over there as soon as class is over.”
“Ten?” Li asked. “No way you’re going to make it. I get that Burbank is small, but even still, the whole TSA thing is such a pain in the ass…”
“She doesn't have to worry about that,” Myles said. “She has a jet.”
I rolled my eyes at Li’s look of shock. “No, I don’t actually have my own jet,” I said. “The jet I told you about belongs to my in-laws. No, I take an executive shuttle flight. But still no TSA screening.”
“Executive shuttle?” Li asked, unclear on the concept.
“Yeah, it’s like a mini airline, flies small corporate jets back and forth. They fly four times a day to San Jose, twice a day to Seattle… You get the idea.”
“This sounds like the opposite of Southwest,” Li said.
“Yeah, pretty much,” I agreed.
Sliding into the cold, empty bed of the San Jose condo that night, I did feel a bit of a pang, wishing I had my two snuggle bunnies in bed with me. I knew it was only going to be for a few weeks, but they were going to be long weeks.
I woke up early the next morning to go for a run, but the area near the condo wasn’t ideal for that. Thinking about my options, I finally decided to drive to campus and run on the trails there, following my old favorite route. Running through the Stanford campus was a bit of a flashback, seeing the students on their way to and from class. It was all so familiar, but at the same time, I felt oddly disconnected. Of course, I no longer was a student there, but I had been recently enough that nothing looked any different than it had ‘back in my day’, so to speak.
Relaxed, energized and a bit bemused all at the same time, I drove back to the condo to change for work.
The author's narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.
Again, the office was just the same as it always was, even though I somehow felt that it should feel different. I knew that I’d only actually been away for a few short weeks since my last visit, but that didn’t make the feeling of ‘belonging but not belonging’ go away.
The morning’s meetings went well, but by the time my last morning meeting wrapped up I really didn’t have enough time before my first afternoon meeting to go out for lunch.
Thankful for the vending machines in the staff break room, I’d just finished my granola bar when my one o’clock came in and it was time to start round two.
Again, it was back-to-back meetings until finally I saw the last of my project managers walk out of my office a little past five.
‘I guess this is what I get for spending so little time up here,’ I thought as I slipped my laptop into my briefcase. I looked around my office, pondering how it felt more ‘mine’ than my corner office down in Santa Monica did. Of course, I’d been spending time in the San Jose office for three years, but only three months in Santa Monica…
Walking out to the parking lot, I stood there at a loss for a minute, unable to remember what my rental car even looked like. Finally, I pulled the key fob from my pocket and looked at the tag, which informed me it was a blue Chevrolet Malibu. Feeling like an idiot, I made my way to the dark blue Chevy that chirped when I pressed the button. I climbed in behind the wheel and sat there for a moment, staring at the unfamiliar dash and steering wheel.
Sighing, I started the car and was just about to leave when my phone rang with a tone that took me a moment to recognize.
I answered Emmy’s FaceTime call, happy to see her smiling face.
“Leah!” she exclaimed. “I missed you last night.”
“I missed you, too, babe,” I said. “I wish I could be there with you guys.”
“I wish you were here, too,” Emmy replied as she swapped the phone’s camera direction so she could show me what she was seeing. “See? We have everything very nearly set up!” Emmy said as she panned the view around the small studio. Lee waved from where he was messing with the keyboard, and Jackson could be seen moving a throw rug from one side of the room to the other.
“When will you be able to start recording?” I asked.
“I think we will have it all arranged and wired in sometime tomorrow morning?” Emmy said, turning the camera back so I could see her face again. “So perhaps we can start recording tomorrow afternoon.”
“Hey, Leah!” Jackson called out from behind Emmy. “This place is friggin’ amazin’! I can’t believe you guys have such a nice place here!”
“Hi, Jackson!” I called out, hoping the speaker on Emmy’s phone was loud enough for him to hear. “Hi, Lee!”
“How is San Jose?” Emmy asked.
“Lonely,” I said, sticking out my lower lip in an exaggerated pout.
“Will you have time to visit Michael?”
“He’s still in Chicago,” I replied.
“Still?” Emmy asked, surprised. “What about Jassie? Where is she?”
“She’s staying with the family of her best friend. She stays there when Michael travels.”
“I did not know that,” Emmy said, frowning.
“I guess the whole family really loves Jassie, from what Michael has told me,” I said. “They don’t mind her staying with them at all.”
“We should do something nice for them,” Emmy said, still frowning a bit. “I will talk to Michael about it.”
“I’d rather you didn’t,” I said, gently.
“What? Why not?” Emmy asked, puzzled.
“They like having Jassie over because of friendship, not that they expect any sort of reward. If we offer to pay them in any way, the whole thing becomes, well, sort of mercenary. Transactional, I guess. Then they’re babysitters, not best friends.”
As Emmy thought about what I’d said, the wrinkles on her brow smoothed out. “That makes sense,” she conceded.
Changing the subject, Emmy asked, “Where are you? Are you driving?”
“I’m in the parking lot at work, sitting in my crummy rental car,” I said. “You called just as I was about to go home.”
“You do not like the rental car?”
“Honestly, it’s not bad,” I admitted. “It’s just, well, a rental car, that’s all.”
“The enthusiasm I hear in your voice is almost too much to bear!” Emmy said with a laugh. Her beautiful, sparkling laugh always lifted my mood, and this time was no different.
“I’ll try to keep myself under control,” I said, laughing.
“You should try to do something for yourself while you are there in San Jose,” Emmy said. “Something fun.”
Back at the condo, I took a few minutes to relax, enjoying the peace and quiet. Eventually, though, I had to get up and get dressed to go out to dinner and to the speakeasy. Dropping my keys into the jacket pocket, a piece of paper caught my attention. Wondering what it was, I pulled out the folded take-out menu and saw Ashley’s phone number written on it with a ball-point pen.
Smiling, I dropped it back in my pocket and left the empty condo behind. In the elevator, I thought about the last time I’d seen Ash, there at The Pit, planning on taking self-defense classes. I hoped that she was going to stick with it and learn a bit about how to protect herself if she ever needed to do so. My train of thought led me to remembering news reports when I was in high school about a girl who ran track down in Escondido, who had been raped and murdered while out on a training run. Those risks exist, as much as we wish they didn’t.
Pulling into the steak house’s parking lot, I put those grim thoughts aside. I was going to have a nice dinner and a few drinks, maybe see some people I knew and do some glad handing, so I had to shift my mental state into something more appropriate.
Getting out of that cheap rental car, I swept my hair back and put on my fedora, at just the right angle. I rolled my shoulders back and tucked my hands in my pockets as I sauntered up to the valet station.
“Mrs Farmer!” exclaimed the valet in attendance. “Where’s your car?”
“I’m driving a dog-ass rental tonight,” I said, pleased to see the attendant’s demeanor. “It’s too embarrassing to have you park it.”
Laughing, he said, “I guess we all have to slum it once in a while.” Chuckling in agreement, I offered up my fist and he gave it a bump. “Have a good dinner, Mrs Farmer,” he said as I walked inside.
At the podium, a pretty young woman I didn’t recognize asked if I was joining a group or was I alone. Just as I was about to answer, the maitre d’ walked up. “Jessica,” he said to the young woman. “This is Mrs Farmer. She is always seated immediately. Always. Immediately,” he repeated, emphasizing his point.
“No need, Henry,” I said with a wry smile. “I’ll take my dinner in the back.”
“As you wish,” Henry said, turning to lead me back, but I stopped him with a hand on his arm. “Don’t worry, I know where I’m going,” I said. “Thanks.”
“Of course,” he replied.
As I walked into the depths of the clubby, dimly lit restaurant, I could hear the girl ask, “Who is she?”
I knocked twice on the unmarked door at the back of the restaurant, which opened immediately. “Boss!” the large man behind the door said. “It’s good to see you!”
“Thanks, Tony,” I said. “How’re tricks?”
“Tricky. Very, very tricky,” he said with a smile as he waved me on in.
I made my way inside, and the hostess spotted me immediately. “Your table is waiting,” she said and made to lead me to the back corner, but I held her up.
“I’m gonna take the long way there,” I said, and she nodded she understood. I made my way to the central bar and shook hands with Theo across the curved mahogany bar top.
“Something new?” he asked.
“Sure, set me up,” I replied.
Making a circuit of the tables, I shook hands with a fair number of people I knew and was introduced to many more, eventually making my way to the corner table that was always kept open for me.
The waitress appeared the moment I sat down and I told her I wanted a filet, and Theo was getting me a drink. She took off immediately to make sure the order was given priority, but it didn’t really matter to me. I was there for the evening, so the steak could take as long as it needed.
“O.K.,” Theo said as he brought my drink. “I know you’re a bourbon drinker, so here you go. This is an American version of a cocktail traditionally made with Scotch.”
I took a moment to savor the aroma first, commenting, “I smell maple. And orange.”
“Exactly!” Theo said with pleasure.
Sipping it, I said, “Maple syrup, for sure, and a hint of orange, but the ginger… it’s kicking everything else’s ass.”
“Yeah, I may need to ease up on that a bit,” Theo agreed with a little frown.
“I like it, though. Maybe make me another one with half the ginger and let’s see,” I said, handing him back the glass.
As soon as Theo left with the drink, my phone buzzed in my pocket. Seeing it was a text from Angela, I took a look. She’d taken a bunch of photos of Emmy and the boys setting up the studio, some shots of Emmy, and a few more of the new furniture in the library. “I wish you were here with us”, she wrote.
“I do, too.” I replied.
“Alright, here’s the same thing, but with half the ginger,” Theo said, putting the drink in front of me to taste. Knowing he was going to stand there until I did, I took a sip.
“That’s better,” I said. “Don’t get me wrong, I like ginger alright, but it was just too strong in the mix. Now it’s just right.”
Pleased with himself, he went back behind the bar to mix drinks for paying customers.
I spent all evening there, holding court. At nine, a really talented singer and guitarist duo set up on the small stage and played American Songbook classics, loud enough to be heard clearly but not loud enough to make conversation difficult for the bar patrons.
This suited me perfectly, as it made conversations with the people that came to my table possible.
About ten o’clock, Andrej Marković and his friend Mohsin Kazemi came over to say hello and introduce their dates.
“It’s good to see you guys,” I said. “Having a good night? Everybody treating you guys right?”
“Everything’s great!” said Mohsin. “We just finished dinner in the steakhouse, and came back here for drinks.”
“Hey, I know you guys are maybe a little bit more sophisticated in your tastes than most,” I said, buttering them up in front of the women they were trying to impress. “I’ll tell you what. Theo over there is always trying out new, exotic drink recipes, and needs guinea pigs to try them out. If you’re willing to try new things, I’ll have him set you up. All he wants is your honest feedback.”
“I’d be happy to try these new drinks out,” Andrej said.
“Thanks- you’ll be doing Theo and me a big favor,” I replied. “You’re drinking on the house tonight.”
After they went back to their table, I waved Theo over and told him to try out new drinks on their party. “Give them drinks that aren’t too off-beat,” I said. “And make sure the girls’ drinks are appropriately girly, but not too strong. I want the guys to feel bold, and the girls to feel they’re getting special treatment. Put it all on my tab, and make sure the server understands that table gets extra attention.”
“I gotcha,” Theo said with a wink. “Can I get you another?” he asked, pointing to my nearly empty glass. After my second real drink earlier in the evening, as customary, I switched to non-alcoholic but convincing-looking cocktails.
“Thanks,” I said as I handed him my glass.
At eleven I finally took my leave, making one last circuit on my way out. I was tired and ready for bed, empty as the condo and that bed would be.