“Ya know, In four days my life has become a bit… Elevated… ehhhh?” Jamie said to no one in particular. The room of toys in the front of the antiques shop were watching old westerns now.
The small war between the wrestlers and the precious ponies of powerful preposterousness had elapsed into an uneasy truce. Yet even that prideful petit panel of the puerile would not justify that poor excuse for a pun with a response.
“Eh, tough crowd.” Doing their best to not let it slip just how weird moving toys still were to them they went back to cleaning the dust from the cash register.
A mechanical dinging sound could be heard from the front, but was drowned out by the hyper-masculinity on the tube tv.
“Ya know, it’s really a bad sign when the cash register is covered in dust…” Again, talking to no one.
“Yeah, I’d say that’s about right.” Both Zippy, from across the room and a softly glowing red rope not five inches from Jamie’s face responded at the same time.
“GAAaaaaah...ah. What the hell, both of you?! You, rope thingy, show up farther away. You, short yet powerful ancient..mage…” The last bit came out as a squeak. Jamie reconsidered their tirade as they saw a seven and a quarter foot tall demonic looking ogre standing behind the gnome.
“Jamie, meet Daisuke. Our first uhm… foreign… exchange… politician, yes that’s about right.” Zippy said without a hint of assuredness in his voice, then continuing on. “He will be staying up near the top of the mountain with me for the next oh, year and a half I believe.”
“Year and two months, I’m Daisuke, good to meet you.” His voice was deep, most likely from the bulk of his body, but there was a clear intelligence and sophistication to it. Putting his massive hand forward to shake in such a swift motion the gust blew the stack of paper towels off the counter. “Oh, sorry about that.”
“Not a problem.” A cheerful voice said from farther up in the room, near the ceiling as a soft pink tint in the air lifted the mess up perfectly placing it back as before.
“I’m Jamie, welcome to my shop, what can I do for you?” They said, shaking the large hand. “And you, what are you doing up there? Get back down here and be polite.”
“You said to show up farther away.” said the glowing manifestation of mana.
“I didn’t say to stay there, oh nevermind.” Jamie stuck their tongue out at the rope and the rope returned it by sticking out the equivalent of a thread back at them.
“Well I came here to see the miracle. I was told there’s a wish granter?” Daisuke asked, poking both index fingers together innocently.
“Oh, that would be me.” The genie came over to the Oni, swirling around him.
“Be careful, we don’t know the full ramifica…” Before Jamie could finish their sentence Daisuke had whispered something quietly at the rope and a large display case of Coconut Maxx Blaasterz candy came into being at his feet. “... Well nevermind I guess, seems people have either simpler or less scary wishes than I thought.”
Zippy smiled at Jamie as Daisuke picked up the large box of candy and walked out the door. Whispering to the young shopkeep as he leaves to chaperone the hulking man, “You know, that came from inside your shop, you coulda charged for that.”
“Whaaaaaa?” was their only response as Jamie looked pleadingly at the floating mana.
“Hey, I don’t mind long as your fair. Enough economics were in the fantasy books alone for me to understand your need to obtain wealth in a capitalist society.” The genie responded succinctly.
“If you want me to think you’re smart; don’t quote the elven ambassador from tempesthaven. I ran that campaign three times.” Jamie grinned at the mana, now glowing a brighter shade of red.
“Still… really? Thanks, I get the feeling a lot of people will be coming to this town. I don’t think much in here will sell too well though… at least, that doesn’t seem to have a will of its own, and I wouldn’t feel right selling those anyway.” Jamie looked around the large amounts of non-magical items filling the shop.
“Oh, you’ve not noticed?” they asked the shopkeep as the door dinged, announcing another possible customer.
“Hey Jamie!” Darnell smiled brightly at them with his brother Jerome in tow.
“Hey Mayor, what can I do for you?” Jamie asked brightly, a little confused as to why they would be here before remembering the glowing wish granter.
“Magic is seeding into your artifacts and even I myself have helped to create one cursed object and five minor enchanted objects which aren’t aware and more are being made by the day.” The genie continued its thought, completely uninterrupted by two more humans walking into the shop.
After everyone’s mouths dropped open they continued again, slower and more hesitant this time. “Well, there’s a uhm, hourglass that slows things down about half… And oh, that old whip behind the counter, it asked me to curse it so no one picked it up again and...”
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“WOAH!” Jamie near screamed. “This is a lot to take in, can you just.. Make a list, I’d be too afraid I’d forget what one of these containers of ancient primal magic would uhm… do exactly.”
Complying soon the three humans were holding a list, not of paper but of hardened mana and light.
* Sourglass: when turned over and made to pour; this item will slow all things within a five-meter radius by half. Affinity for food: This hourglass was once used by a promising chef. If used for the sole purpose of food preservation it will slow decay by 800%.
* Elder’s Staff of Tricks: Increases movement of those using this for walking by 20% Affinity for Tomfoolery: when used to run away from an angered foe. Movement speed increased by a further 10-40% determined by the anger of Foe.
* Tireless Derby: The Wearer will get +10 mental resistance. Affinity for Youth: Used before the illegality of child workers, this hat will give a +5 to Intelligence to those under the age of sixteen.
* Picto-Globe: Touch a continent to zoom in. Holograms of the known location and information on the geography, ecology, etc. will be available. Affinity for Teaching: When used in a classroom setting this globe will learn as well, absorbing information as the class goes on. This information is available immediately on the hologram readout.
* Hunters Dagger of Skinning. Magically parts the skin of other species. +20% damage to hunted animals dead or alive. Affinity for Respect: When cleaning your own kill with this knife, if all remains are put away to be used or respectfully discarded +30% nutrients of meat. +300% hardness of bone and antler +50% bonus to toxi…
* Repentant Whip: Curse: The wielder of this whip with the intent to cause harm will receive the wounds of all those afflicted by this item over its full lifespan. Curse: showing this whip will make people lower their opinions of you, -50% charisma.
“I uhm… I…” Jamie was unable to make a sentence being handed a page with RPG numbers for real-world items.
Jerome, on the other hand, would not hold back. “Huh, what do you mean plus five intelligence? Will this hat literally make someone smarter?”
The red blob of mana looked confused as it squished and rolled around on the store counter. “Oh, yes and no? It will help the retention of knowledge. The ability to keep it around in your noggin for later. Great for studying.”
Jerome nodded quietly, re-reading the list and opening the full list of buffs for the Dagger of Skinning. Letting out a long whistle he smiled at Jamie. “I’d love to get this offa ya, I truly would, but I don’t think I could afford it. Did you read this? It helps to seal off organs by cauterizing the ends as you cut. This thing is a hunter's wet dream. Talk to Zippy, he’s got international connections, this thing could be worth a lot of money.”
Jamie, finally getting back to earth after being told how much wealth one item was worth, “Wait, what? How much?”
Darnell shrugged. “Hundreds at the lowest, thousands or more most likely. It’s magic, and didn’t Clarice say something about wanting something like this?” After rethinking it the mayor shook his head again. “Nah, it says you need to kill the beast, not Clarice's way of doing things.”
“Now, what about a cursed item?” Jerome asked.
“Well… I guess since it’d be for display only then like a normal antique. About the same as normal?” Jamie asked questioningly, not sure why anyone would want a cursed object.
“How much for the whip? I like it.” Darnell and Jamie both looked confused but the clerk stayed on the point.
“Well let's see, looking through this list and checking it with prices online through the Ooooonly good internet connection in town let’s see…” Jamie grinned. “For you good sheriff, seventy even.”
“Sixty!”
“Deal” Jamie said with a smile and they shook on it. Carefully lifting the cursed object with a pair of tongs into a large backpack.
Jamie grinned after taking the money and marking it down they flipped a sign on the counter. ‘Closed, Owner will be back in: 2 Hours.’
“Huh? Where you goin’?” Darnell asked incredulously, still having more to talk about.
“Groceries. Been eatin’ PB and J sandwiches without the J… or the bread, for the last two days.” Grabbing the faintly glowing enchanted knife and safely stowing it in their pocket Jamie pushed the brothers out of their store and took off in the direction Zippy had earlier.
Jerome however, stayed behind. Being the sheriff came with a few perks, this one being: people trust you.
Sitting in the rocking chair in front of the locked screen door he talked loud enough for those inside to hear as he relaxed. Not shutting the main door let him do what he really wanted the most, to experience the magic first hand.
“So… It’s gotta be weird being called Genie, or Mana or whatever constantly, don’t you have a name?” He called.
“Me? Name? Well… If I am a genie it’s only best to take a traditional name from one of my ancestors.” The genie called back, getting closer to the screen door and passing right through it a short distance, their connection to their home lamp not allowing them to go far, however.
“Like what? Some big, magical sounding name?” The Sheriff laughed.
“I was thinking Will. Like from the movie. I know the movie isn’t real but, the person who gave it so much life, this was a part of their name.” The genie; Will, responded cheerfully.
“Wait, which one?” Jerome feigned concern.
“Let’s just say snake beats bird.” even though the now slender floating form was completely featureless, Jerome could swear Will had just winked at him.
***
Jamie soon caught up to Zippy’s group, they weren’t hard to spot and there was more than just the large one they’d seen earlier.
“Hey, Hold up, I could use some help.” Jamie wheezed, not used to running for extended periods up the sloping ground of a mountain.
“Hm, oh Jamie, sure. What can I do for you?” Zippy smiled, wider and more intense than normal, looking uneasily to the side.
Jamie however, was too exhausted to notice the High Elf from the UK Zippy had been panickedly trying to point out. In between the Oni Daisuke, and a short man with a near glowing face and round nose stood a very displeased high elf. Slender fingers curled into fists in frustration, long pointy ear tips red with rage. An elegant yet disapproving smile that only someone who truly believed they were above others could pull off.
None of those things even crossed Jamie’s mind as they said, “The Genie’s made enchanted Items, I could use your help selling these.”