“YAAAAAAAAH!” Ayana bellowed out a war-cry as her dagger struck down onto the back of one of the grown toys. The exceptionally large wrestling figures had been a bit of a challenge for the group, but their lack of articulation and shoddy plastic meant that once you got behind them, it was a guaranteed win. With the gigantic form melted away into a thin mist, she surveyed how the rest of the team was doing.
Just as Gus had swirled his green-flame blade through Marie Antoinette's belly; Ayana felt a slight pang as the doll holding her own head fell to the ground, dissipating. Having her noggin held under her arm, she felt a strange kinship when she had first seen the leader of the boss-squad. Now, as Marceline finished up by grabbing a hold of the chest-tall red wagon’s handle and crashing it off of the track, she felt… better.
“How’d we do sis?” Ned asked as he jogged close, actually jogged instead of the normal burdened shuffle she was used to. “How ya feelin?”
Ayana smiled, lifting her head up above her shoulder, “Well, based on my limited knowledge… you did well enough. As for how I’m feeling, well, better, honestly.”
It had only been two days since she had awoken from her cocoon. The magic that flowed through the hospital on Christmas eve had apparently put the entire cancer ward under lockdown. It was as if an army of necromancers had visited the hospital all at once, an entire floor of the hospital was completely cured, albeit, with some side-effects. Just like everyone in the ward, Ayana had been put into a deep slumber, so deep, that it had caused the lot of them to go through rebirth right there.
All-in-all a hospital wasn’t the worst place a person could be reborn. However, coming out of your cocoon and the only difference being a black wispiness where your head used to be on your neck, and where your neck used to be on your head; can throw anyone through a loop.
She had told her brother of her concerns, not being able to look normal, etc, so he had asked her to come to this mountain with him. And so, here they were, a small army of man-sized toys defeated and in front of the key to it all, a way to keep her head on her shoulders so she wouldn’t lose it.
As the group of four neared the door to the vault, the now steampunk looking door opened. Gears spinning and grinding, a faint smell of oil in the air as the metal door swung open, portal directly behind it. Theodore walked forward out of the portal with his cane spinning and tiny tophat in his paw, bowing. “I have come with an invitation. Majesty Jamie has awoken and requests your audience upon your wish completion.”
“Hm?” Ayana grunted, slightly confused.
“Jamie, I told you about them earlier. They got the rest of us together the first time, along with that mountain of a woman you saw earlier.” Ned replied to his sister.
Ayana nodded, not having listened to all of her brother's stories. In truth, she just wanted to know what the coin the gargoyle had given her meant.
***
Current Wish: impossible.
Reason: Personal.
Dispensing wish coin…
Wish coins are non-transferable and will dissolve in twenty-four hours.
Wish coins are good for any single pure-hearted wish upon completion of dungeon.
***
The message had been stiff, mechanical, and entirely confusing. She had asked for a way to keep her head on her shoulders. Considering a clasp or even just wishing it back on her neck, but every single wish had been returned with loud hornlike noise and red-eyes by the statues. After the fourth time of trying to reword her wish, the message had just appeared suddenly, carved into the wall above the entrance statues.
The other three remaining members of the party were already at the other end of the room, almost walking into the steampunk door and portal. Ned called back to Ayana, breaking her out of her own thoughts, “You commin?”
“Yeah! Be there in a sec!” She called back, hefting her head under her arm she did her best to quickly jog toward the door without dropping her cranium.
Past the portal was a realm of wonder and majesty. The walls were lined with bags of chips and soda Ayana had never even heard of. On small tables below the shelves lay several artifacts with magic radiating off of them so powerfully you could feel it through the protective glass and across the room. Like a gentle hum; the artifacts almost sounded like they were singing, swords in high tenor chords, spy glasses creating reverberating echos like seashells, so many beautiful notes. Ayana wished she had brought her saxophone, the chaotic yet musical jazz rumblings of the room were stirring something in her soul.
On a less-than-grand, Dias made of roughly chiseled limestone stood an age-worn mining lantern in the middle of the room.
Gus and Marceline both walked toward it with purpose, Ayana simply holding back, unsure what the rules of such a magnificent place could be. As both of them placed their palms on the relic of a bygone time, a pink mist started gathering around the floor of the room.
As the mist built, a rumbling voice could be heard. “Who has summoned the great and pow… Hey!” Will began to say right as Gus somehow slapped them on the back in greeting before their body even became visible. “How did you do that?” Will looked confused.
“Billy Joe’s been giving us magic sight lessons,” Marceline responded in a beautiful tone. The Orc Priestess was fascinating to Ayana, while beautiful yes, she was heavily muscled. Something about the purposeful practiced gait at which she moved along with her crushing physical power, just sent a shiver up Ayana’s spine.
“Oh, I see, well that does make a lot of sense. Majesty Will, there are things to do and people to see. Would you please hurry up?” Theodore called from behind the group, being the last one to return to the vault, pulling the boss-portal door closed behind him.
“I wish I had more talent. I’d like to make things, but I don’t know what.” Marceline boldly declared her wish without a hint of uncertainty, even though the wish was entirely uncertain.
“I can give you skill, talent is sort of not needing to try as much,” Will replied, sitting on top of their lamp in the form of a young child kicking their feet in boredom. They had been getting a better grip of their powers as of late, so the effects of random wishes were surprising them less and less as they predicted the outcome with about seventy percent accuracy now.
Marceline smiled happily, “That works for me.”
A small Dias of red mana rose from the ground between the genie and their mistress. On the Dias of mana lay a small stick.
“Huh?” Marceline was slightly stunned.
“It’s a focusing wand. The staff you got with your class is great for channeling spells through if you want to just use the auto-spell function. This has more control over the mana-usage. If you want skill then it’s simple, practice. Figure out how your class uses its magic, do your best to replicate it, and then it evolves. You get more auto-spells and when you learn those, you get a few more. Really, I unlocked the EXP system for all of you divers but only Gus has used it. Play around with some magic, you may learn a new spell for your class.” Will replied.
The wish was technically granted, and she did have a new magical item. Still, it felt like a cop-out to Marceline. But, with nothing she could technically say that was wrong, she accepted it. Far better to get a hint and an item than to have her wish twisted like some of the stories.
“I’d like some money. While the hospital bills are taken care of, our father wasn’t able to work for a long period due to mine and my sister’s illnesses. I’d like to take care of him now that he’s unable to take care of us.” Ned asked humbly.
Will nodded sagely, although the wish for money is a selfish one in their own rules, this didn’t seem as such. Even still, the group had made it through the increased difficulty in the dungeon because of the rule. Will rubbed their small hands together and then pointed all ten fingers down.
Ten threads of mana shot down from each fingertip, into the pink mist on the floor, and grasped a hold of... something. With a tug of their hands, Will pulled out a perfectly rectangular chest that was seemingly made out of one large piece of tree-trunk. The lid flipped open on the treated wood-carved hinges with a slow creaking motion, inside the chest lay a small pouch.
The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.
Ned reached down, grabbing the pouch and opening it, looking inside and then sealing it quickly they looked at Will confused. “Uhm, what am I supposed to do with what looks like three baby ferrets?”
Will laughed. “Take them to Zippy and ask him to buy them. You should have no want for money for at least a year. Oh, and thank him for his old-world bestiary if you would.”
Ned carefully held the small pouch as gently as he could as Gus walked forward proudly, taking large steps and swaying his arms comically.
“So, I can’t wish for anyone dead right?” Gus asked the genie.
Will shook their head, “Nope, no death, no major suffering, no atrocities…” Will began to list the long line of small text under the ‘no hurting people’ rule on the board that had been placed outside the entrance on the first of the year.
“Yeah, Yeah, I read all that, so, I think I’m good. I wish that jerk with the home-alone 2 cameo had all of his hair follicles replaced with chia seeds that still grow as normal. Oh, and no potion or anything short of another wish to you can change it.” Gus said proudly, hands on his hips.
“Wh...What?!” Will asked in utter confusion. Sure, they loved creative things, but this was bordering on the absurd.
“You heard me. He’s already turned himself the exact color of orangish-brown. Replace his hair with chia seeds.” Gus said strongly, unwavering in his desire.
“I… uhm… Okay then.” Will seemed to go quiet for a couple of seconds, staring out into nothingness. Just as Ayana was starting to think it was beyond creepy, he stopped, shaking his head and returning to normal.
Closing the chest that Ned had pulled his prize from and reopening it; a small doll, paper pamphlet, and several herbs none of them could name were inside another small pouch in the chest.
“What’s this?” Gus asked, confusedly pulling the sack open to see inside.
“A curse, the pamphlet says how to do it. Considering the well… utter ridiculousness and yet lack of personal harm; I decided that instead of using my own power to create a much-overpowered effect, that a spell would suffice. All of the ingredients are there, use it wisely. I don’t want to see this thing posted on the internet later. And I will be looking.” Will looked at the young man in front of them, giving him their best ‘now don’t you disappoint me’ look.
Gus grinned from ear to ear, cradling his tiny curse packet in his hands with glee.
Lastly, Ayana stepped forward. “I tried to tell you my wish before, same as them. What’s going on?”
Will looked down at her sadly, just as they were about to open their mouth, two more forms walked through the portal in the back. A large muscular woman nonchalantly let out a yawn while next to her stood… something. Scales lined the person's face which seemed… longer, not a muzzle yet, but it felt more angular than a regular human’s.
“I think I can answer that.” A voice came from behind the two of them as what looked to be a small, hand-sized, entirely clear crystal hourglass floated toward the group.
Ayana, however, completely lost track of her thoughts. Staring at the amazonian perfection of the woman in front of her, her jaw almost fell open. Well defined muscles were the main constant of the woman’s granite-grey skin, a snug workout crop-top and running shorts adorned her body. She walked with a sense of self-assuredness and power that Ayana craved and her mind completely blanked. With her free hand, she weakly waved her fingers, “I, Uhm, Hiiiii.”
“Hi,” The taller woman responded to her, simply waving at Ayana but the minor interaction caused her heart to flutter. That big chiseled goddess acknowledged she existed! If only she didn’t have her head under her arm, today would have been the perfect day!
Ayana blushed, causing her to change her hand orientation and unintentionally making her turn her face away. What greeted her eyes was very much different.
The person beside the sculpturesque mountain of a woman was shorter in comparison but had some sort of presence that made one pay attention. The closer the person walked to Ayana, the colder her skin felt, their hair was shoulder length and filled with braids. Two loops just above their ears with a few small ones framing the horns jutting out of the crown of their head. They were only wearing a jacket that hadn’t been zipped up and a pair of grey shorts. Ayana noticed a sparkling and could see that some sort of reptile scales ran up the sides of the person’s torso, framing their midriff. As they finished walking out of the portal Ayana saw two massive wings flow out of it, neatly folding on their back. A tail trailed the ground behind them as well, a kaleidoscope of winter colors.
“And who might you be?” Ned asked, stepping forward but still cradling the package gently in his hands.
Putting an arm behind the back of their head and fluffing their hair out trying to look somewhat impressive, “Oh, I’m still just… Jamie.”
Marceline shot forward, “What? How? I mean, if I look at you hard enough you look like you have the same frame but… You’re like four or more inches taller or something, and weren’t you skinny as a rail before?”
Jamie blushed, holding up their hands in a defensive gesture signaling that they had just been asked a lot all at once. “Well, in order. Yes, because I guess I used my original body as a basis. Yes, but Billy Joe is a good foot and a half taller minimum. And thirdly, yes, thank you for such an… unhindered opinion.” They finished their statement by giving the orc the side-eye for her unintentional jab.
“So that’s what you look like, eh?” Gus smiled warmly, “Some sort of bird?”
Jamie laughed, leaning back on the stone wall beside the portal. “Didn’t you see the scales and horns? Nah, Dragon. Much cooler.”
Ayana smiled, everyone here seemed to get along, then, quickly remembering what the hourglass had said before it had gotten interrupted. “Wait, didn’t one of you say you knew something about why I’m all… decapitated?”
The hourglass appeared right in front of her face, causing her to jump back in surprise. “Oh, I do, I was there for it all.”
Ayana looked at the hourglass, unmoving, invisible grains falling and plinking on the bottom, barely perceptible, yet she could hear each one individually, “Who, what? Who are you? And what am I? Why can’t I apparently just wish to get my head back on my shoulders?”
The hourglass spun in response, “I am Cycle, I was born from your brother’s foolish wish. As for why you must carry your head for all eternity? Well, you, my dear, are undead. More precisely, you are a Dullahan.”
The world faded into nothingness as Ayana’s brain registered what she was told, “I… I’m dead?”
Cycle’s voice sounded deeper, softer, kinder, “No, not dead. You are UN-dead my dear. I’m afraid that while I was restoring you all, many of you could not survive the procedure. Thus, I sent you all into rebirth to use the magic of it to repair the damage that removing large chunks of one’s flesh would do.”
“And that has to do with my head not re-attaching to my body WHY?!” Ayana nearly screamed. She’d come so far, her seemingly inoperable brain tumor gone. Miracles existed and yet, why did they always come with a catch?
“After using the exact amount of death to kill your tumors, not a particle more. Your brain began bleeding at a prodigious rate. Even inside of your cocoon you would not be saved. Your heart was connected to the leakage, and the only way I saw to stop the leak without healing you in a way that would have brought the tumor back, was to, well… Remove the leak from the source.” Cycle said the most unsure Jamie had ever heard them.
“Alright, but you’re magic, surely you must ha…” Ayana began but Cycle quickly cut her off.
“Yes, there is magic. I am not one of you, however. I AM magic, I cannot improvise on the fly, I do not have the ability to make new spells. I am entirely limited by the magic that has come before, and none of the magic before this had a single answer I had access to other than…” Cycle abruptly cut off, their final word hanging in the air far longer than they had expected.
“Other than what?” Ayana asked, her voice cracking.
“Other than to make you a Dullahan. Your brain needs no blood, the entirety of your head is now sustained by the mana that your body generates and then releases from the base of your neck. You couldn’t die of blood loss if your bleeding organ didn’t need blood.” Cycle responded, despondent.
“So… I’m leaking magic? Sending it through the air to my head so it doesn’t die?” Ayana asked, understanding the situation giving her a bit of hard-earned clarity.
“Like… A Tesla Coil?” Jamie asked. Ayana and Cycle had both almost forgotten that the newly reborn dragon was still there.
Archivist, coming around from behind the pillar Will’s lamp rested on. “Essentially, yes, the Cobalt Dragon is correct. Your body will release death-based mana from your neck as a result of your body constantly creating and then killing extra blood-cells. Your head will absorb this death-laden mana to keep your head functioning.”
“Isn’t death-mana bad for me or something?” Ayana asked the rather understandable question.
“No, mana absorbed into the body is eventually broken down into a state with no identity, well, no identity other than you, that is.” Archivist added.
Cycle, picking up where Archivist left off, “Re-attaching your head would cause a drastic jump in the available mana you have. So much in fact that likely your body would hurt itself from the overabundance of death-based mana in it. You might be able to reattach your head, but even using the most draining of spells; I couldn’t say anything more than… two minutes or so would be possible.”
“I was wondering where you went,” Jamie said happily, walking over to the barely hand-sized orange calculator with cartoonish legs and arms.
Ayana, thinking over what was just said, let her mind wander down a different path. She was producing mana somehow, using it to keep herself alive. Yet, there had to be a chance, with hope in her eyes she lifted her head above her shoulder. “Wait… That means I can do magic now?”
Will, exhausted from all of the interruptions, “Yes, you can do magic, now, will everyone else PLEASE let the being of mysterious and untapped magic talk?!”
Cycle and Archivist both floated behind Jamie and Billy Joe, having realized they’d talked over their creator while they were explaining something.
Will continued, “I can give you power, I can give you a focus. I can give you a home, or a small fortune. What would you like to do with the rest of your life?”
Ayana was asked the one question she never expected. She had expected to die to be honest, after years of doctors explaining why her tumor was inoperable and them being at least partially right considering her headlessness… She had never thought about what came next, because she truly didn’t believe she would have something after the tumor.
“I want to have fun,” Ayana said with a massive smile, tears rolling down her face as her own invisible shackles disintegrated. Destiny had said that she would die before the new year, her brother had challenged Destiny and won, now she will do the same…