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Dwarves of Appalachia
Chapter 29: Arrivals; Naughty & Nice Edition.

Chapter 29: Arrivals; Naughty & Nice Edition.

     Jamie dreamt. Jamie dreamt of an endless sky, soaring above the clouds and darting between them. Jamie dreamt of courts and nobles, knights and ladies.

     Jamie slowly walked into the ballroom in a large, flowing, elegant yellow gown. Then, they walked into the room again, fully clad in plate and chain armor with their visor up, a grin on their face. Jamie walked into the room for a third time; the people were as ants, and the music and revelry stopped. The Princess, the Knight, and the Dragon all looked into each other’s eyes as Jamie awoke.

     Shaking their head, they did their best to wake up from their short nap. Taking a ten-minute shower and throwing on a new set of clothes; this time a loose-fitting pastel blue top and an old pair of black jeans they climbed down the stairs to the store proper.

     Gus waived from behind the register, checking out a shorter elderly woman in fine-looking clothing. “Alright, that’s one pair of magical reading spectacles for three hundred and thirty. Have a pleasant day, Ma’am.” Gus said, waving her off as she walked back out through the shop door.

     “Not bad, had those marked for three-fifty,” Jamie replied, a smirk on their face.

     “What can I say? All she wanted was the senior discount.” Gus said with a smile. “Might make up for all that dough I just spent too.”

     “What dough?” Jamie said, the nervousness from earlier coming back.

     “Well, you know that pile of Damascus ingots you had in the back? I may have doubled it. The first wave of adventurers finished around half an hour ago and I doubled your supply for a smidge more than five hundred.” Gus said, smiling back as they knew well that this pile of metal was worth more than that in scrap alone.

     “Thanks, take forty outa the register for yourself, I have someone I need to go meet,” Jamie said, looking at the clock; ten after five.

     “Hey, I was only doing this while you took a break.” Gus tried to complain.

     “Yeah Yeah, but I’m payin’ better than your mama so don’t complain too much. If this works well, then I’ll have plenty more to pay you for your time.” Jamie said, sticking their tongue out at the young man as they walked through the front door of their shop.

     Marc looked over from the same seat as before, this time still draped in the beautiful white dress and bead sleeves. “So… Looks like yer stayin’ here with us little fella.” The Orc told the small starfish shaped being in a sweater vest relaxing on an old doll couch.

     Jamie walked briskly up the road to the Dungeon. The same line as before out front as Jamie walked up to the Goblin handing out waivers. “Hey, not diving today, do I need to sign anything?”

     “Go on in, human and take those toys home with you when you’re done. Seems they’re ready to go back, they seem agitated.” The Goblin said, looking up from his stack of paperwork and giving his now growing stack of trashy romance novels a pleading look.

     “Will do,” Jamie said, walking into the mouth of the dungeon, placing their hand in one of the gargoyles gaping maws. “I’m not diving today, so I don’t want a wish.”

     The marble door opened, the Maroon Room awaiting the young shopkeep.

     ***

     Billy Joe coughed and sputtered, annoyed that the magical healing hadn’t completely fixed her up. That Dire-Buck’s antler had really done some damage, and she could still feel some of the rips and tears as they slowly finished knitting back together.

     The Drow woman healing her side smacked the Fomorian in the head with a rolled-up newspaper. “Stop squirming, if I do this wrong you may wind up with a rib outside of your skin!”

     “Yeah yeah, Auntie Christia. Seriously though, thanks for this.” Billy Joe looked at the once old woman.

     “You know you and my apprentice are the only one’s I’ll still let call me that?” The Drow mused.

     Zippy spoke up from behind the standing woman. “You’re doing fine deary, just notice the bottom of the wound? That needs to be closed up first.” Zippy barely touched Christia’s hand, guiding it as gently as a newborn lamb to its destination. Her fingers then slowly caressed up Billy Joe’s flesh, almost acting like a zipper, knitting the frayed tissues back together.

     Zippy, addressing Billy Joe, “And you! You need to come to my classes more often. Had I seen you in the back, I would have given you special instruction over your photonic power. Had you been able to cloak yourself in darkness, we would not have to be stitching you up right now… Still, I suppose this is good practice for my head student.”

     “Wait, cloak? I can make armor and stuff?” Billy Joe asked, ecstatic and nearly jumping out of her sick-bed; causing Christia to unceremoniously slam her back down with her forearm.

     “Why, yes, it’s magic after all. What, did you think you could do with darkness was make it kind of pointy?” Zippy asked incredulously.

     “Kinda…” Billy Joe responded, blushing.

     ***

     Jamie walked up slowly to the table on the far right of the Maroon Room. Only three people sat talking, however, one of them was definitely the woman they were here to see.

     “Miss Goibniu?” Jamie asked after walking inside of the soundproof barrier.

     The short, muscular woman from the middle of the table got up, stepping forward. “That be what people call me.”

     “I saw that you were making your way here today, word has it you’re one of the blacksmith’s who knows how to use the Damascus we find in here?” Jamie asked.

     “Aye, that I am.” The short woman said, an orange glow coming from just under her collar.

     “I’d like to hire you to make a few things for me. I’ve gotten a decent supply of the steel from buying it in my store from adventurers.” Jamie replied, crossing their arms with a smile.

     “Well, yer in luck! I was wanting to ask at the town hall tonight for clearance for my blacksmithery. Considering the typea world that’s being forged around us, and yer own ehm, ‘monster’ problem I heard about. My skills will definitely be in high demand.” Goibniu replied, her wizened features softening as she let out a loud hearty belly-laugh.

     “Alright, So, you’ll take my order? You don’t even know what it is yet.” Jamie asked in astonishment.

     “You back my claim for being blacksmith of this here town and I’ll do it. I don’t doubt for a second that others will be here for the town meeting tonight. Listen, this skill hasn’t got its day in the sun for a while, not many of us are around. But if I can get a place in the town where magic is overflowing and legendary metals thrive then my name will go down in history.” Goibniu said with a twinkle in her eye.

     “I thought you changed your name when you were reborn?” Jamie responded.

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     “That’s beside the point.” The Dwarf Blacksmith replied curtly with a wave of her hand.

     Jamie sat down at the table with Goibniu and her two friends, going over what they wanted, the first few bars of Damascus in their shop to be turned into. Eventually, the blacksmith’s two friends depart, leaving her at the table while they go on an adventure in the Dungeon.

     After around two hours the Walrus comes up to the table, “Madam and Majesty, Upon hearing your plans for the night Majesty Will has asked me to remind you both that the town hall starts in half an hour. Also, if you would please take this, Majesty said you would quite enjoy it.” The Walrus then placed a small red class stone on the table in front of Jamie.

     “Really?” Jamie said with trepidation, almost afraid to pick up the rare and powerful gem. Not even noticing the change in hue from the ones they had seen Gus and Marc use.

     The Walrus nodded and Jamie pocketed the gem, not going to ask a second time.

     Goibniu got up from her seat, stretching and popping, “Ah, best we get back to town then. Yer project should be done by the new year, assuming I wish for my shop tomorrow and actually get it.”

     The shopkeep and blacksmith slowly walked back to town. Jamie twirling their class gem in their pants pocket, apprehensive and unsure what to do with it.

     ***

     In the gentle darkness of early night, the middle of Barthel was thrown into chaos. Eight soldiers complete with rifles, tactical gear, and barking orders came roaring out of the main portal in the center of town.

     “Travel successful, moving on to position A.” The leader of the group, Clarence, spoke into his radio. Pointing forward; toward the gravel road leading up to the Dungeon, the group of soldiers marched forward, their weapons at their side but their nerves on edge.

     The soldiers neither ran nor walked, instead jogging up the gravel path with ease. The group of eight skipped the line, much to the loud displeasure of those in the short line awaiting entrance into the Dungeon at such an hour of the day.

     “We require entry,” The leader spoke to the small goblin at his desk.

     “Yes, yes, all of you humans do.” The Goblin spoke boorishly, not even looking up from the trashy romance novel he was reading. With a flick of his hand, he motioned toward the ever-refilling stack of entrance forms.

     Five of the soldiers picked a form up each. There were only three chairs to sit and write at the table so two were forced to pair off, using each other’s back as writing space.

     “Hey Charlie, what’s the exact make and model of our weapons?” Grant called over his shoulder to the woman using his back as a desk.

     “Just copy mine when we’re done. We’re all equipped pretty much the same.” She replied, a tone in her voice letting him know that this wasn’t the time for small-talk.

     The group of eight walked into the mouth of the Dungeon, then they all stared at the gaping mouths of the gargoyles themselves.

     “According to prior information and the form we all just filled out, only five can go in,” Clarence spoke to the other members of the squad, pausing. “Alright, Oscar, Mike, you and private Fubar here will guard the front. You heard what the Colonel said, don’t let anyone even vaguely magical looking in until the mission is complete.”

     The three soldiers all saluted, “Yes Sir!” and quickly turned around, walking back out of the entrance.

     The five soldiers each put their hand in a gargoyle’s waiting maw, then said in unison. “We come for the lamp.”

     ***

     “WHAT?!” Will screamed from their inner sanctum. Spinning valves and pulling levers on pipes curving in impossible ways that seemed not to have any rhyme or reason. Will spun around the room, adjusting these implements in a frantic pace as the non-physical creature animatedly sweated bullets of crimson.

     “Slow down now, why don’t you? What has caused this mania and where did those nonsensical pipes come from?” Theodore the opossum asked, walking into the room with his new suit and top hat, walking on his back legs using a small yet regal-looking black cane.

     “Well, excuse me if I need something physical to work out my panic on! Five soldiers just entered the Dungeon and their wish is to take my lamp. I don’t think I can leave this thing anymore either, so I go with it if they take it!” Will nearly screamed in a blind frenzy.

     “Isn’t that just what you built this Dungeon for, Majesty?” Theodore asked, an impossible grin appearing on the sides of his very long mouth.

     “Yes, and I told you to stop calling me that! Now all the artificial souls call me that, too. No matter what I ask of them, they won’t stop either.” Will pouted, calming down and focusing on the problem at hand.

     “Whatever will they call you instead? You reject gendered titles and they wish to elevate you in their eyes, you are royalty to them.” Theodore said, laughing a little, causing Will to as well. Both of them loved the artificial souls, but they had been a bit too enthusiastic about being the genie’s servants.

     “Alright, so, each of them is a trained soldier. Their endurance is in the thirties to mid-forties, meaning each of them is roughly four times tougher than my average visitor right now…” Will thought aloud, trying to come up with a plan.

     “Forget about their personal stats. Those are combat-ready automatic rifles, meant to be used in the most dangerous of situations.” Theodore spoke, lightly kicking the wooden cabinet holding all the old human war films they had acquired.

     “Yeah, instant death in a metal cylinder,” Will said solemnly.

     “Hey, If a sword gets close, it’s also instant death,” Theodore added.

     “Well, no… that’s not accurate at…” Will spoke but Theodore cut them off.

     “So, what can you do against bullets?” The opossum asked, tilting his hat at the genie.

     “I can… Make a shield? No, these things penetrate too well at this level…” Will began thinking, pulling up a screen out of nothing, showing the toys in the back and Theodore; that the five soldiers walking into the portal to the Dungeon proper.

     ***

     “And that is why Goibniu is the obvious pick for our main blacksmith in town.” Jamie sat after giving a rousing speech to the crowd which had elicited cheers, laughing, and a few teary eyes. At least, that had been the intended effect.

     The town hall was nearly empty. It was nearly nine at night on Christmas day after all. However, the wheels of government do not stop turning just because of a mere holiday, especially in a flying town. The twelve or so members of the community present were no one of real import; and all of them were tremendously bored.

     All, except for Marc’s parents at least. Marc’s father stood; walking up to the platform to speak, Darnell boredly waved them on. “We are the premier makers of all medieval weaponry; we should be the blacksmiths!”

     Goibniu rushed forward. She stood next to the short stocky Dwarf, taking the microphone back. “And I, am an actual blacksmith. I can do more than make silly weapons. Tools, farming equipment, custom jobs, the whole shebang, not just these silly old ‘medieval weapons’ and such.”

     Darnell stood, “Sorry Klark, I have to agree with Jamie on this. You can make a fine showpiece and even some practical blades that I saw you selling, but we need more than a weapon maker.” With the fall of his gavel declaring zoning cleared for Goibniu’s new blacksmith shop near the edge of town, a little red wagon swung open the doors to the town hall with its handle.

     “Puis-je avoir votre attention s’il vous plaît!” The doll holding her head under her arm called from the front seat on the wagon. “I do so ever hate to be rude but we have an emergency.” Marie Antoinette Barbie said.

     “Oooooooooooh brotherss and otherrsss, We gotta get you down to the Dungeon right now!” The mustachioed action figure in a vest next to her added.

     Darnell stood, gavel falling out of their grasp, baffled at the sight as Jamie stood up, running over to them. “What is going on? How did you even get up here? Nevermind, what about the Dungeon?”

     “You must hurry Majesty Jamie, the soldiers have just gone inside. They have come for the lamp!” Marie Antoinette said, her plastic face dour.

     Jerome stirred from his perch at the mention of soldiers. “What did you say?”

     “They’re keeping everyone out, brother! After they told us they were here for the lamp, three of them stayed outside, guarding the place and letting no one go in.” The wrestling figure added.

     “This wasn’t cleared with me,” Jerome said, looking over at his brother and getting a shaken head in response. “Alright, something’s up. Can someone go grab Zippy? He’s supposed to be our liaison. He might know something.”

     A third figure from behind Marie stood up, he was made of a dark plastic with a mohawk. “Some fool is outside. He may tell us more, I really pity him. Theo is seeking out Zippy, they will meet us there.” Said the action figure in a terrible faux British accent.

     Everyone sort of looked confused at the out-of-place voice, but then Jamie and Jerome both rushed out of the Town Hall.

     Darnell blinked twice, then realigned his stack of papers. “Alright, onto the next piece of business. We have gotten strange reports from the Pulaski area around Lake Cumberland and as you all know, we will be nearing there within the week…”