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Dwarves of Appalachia
Chapter 4: Village of Misfit Toys

Chapter 4: Village of Misfit Toys

     Jamie awoke the next day, the third day of being in the sky. Auntie Christia had moved out yesterday telling them to stay in the place since they were taking over. She, however, decided to stay in Jamie’s old place, barely more than a hut, but it had a great view over the edge of the floating mountain.

     Everything has been moving so fast lately for Jamie and they just could not handle it. The twenty-five year old human was slender but not overly so. They can constantly be seen in baggy loose-fitting clothes, a semi-tired look in their eyes. Truthfully, exhaustion hung over a majority of Jamie’s day, not from exertion, but raw, uncontained boredom. Boredom which was just as of late being alleviated in the most spectacular way.

     Now, they were tired for a different reason, instead of being boring, life in the small mountain town was now livelier than ever… Which is bad news when you’re trying to sleep in.

     “Just a few more minutes,” Jamie muttered, a pillow over their ears as they try to hide from the loud noises coming from outside. For however boring Jamie’s old home was, it was certainly quiet. Pulling on the same loose clothes as always Jamie climbed down the back stairs of the antique shop.

     Outside was a crazy mess, there was a massive green portal three stories tall and just as wide. Construction machines and equipment were constantly pouring through it and Darnell was off to the side with a clipboard checking things off. Jamie upon seeing this ran toward him for the hope of some sort of explanation.

    “What’s going on man? It’s kinda louder than the gates of hell out here.” Jamie said, catching their breath from the light run in the heavy clothes.

    Darnell looked up from his clipboard, “oh, OH! Sorry about that, we need to make some walls around the edge of the mountain, keep people from fallin’ off an stuff.” Darnell smiled, writing something else down on his clipboard. “With any luck, we’ll be using them for some other things soon.”

     Jamie looked puzzled, the walls were understandable but why would a town of less than fifty need a crane for building? “Huh?”

     Darnell smiled absentmindedly, “Oh, well considering we’re a ‘High Mana Zone’ or whatever apparently that means people will be coming to town soon. With a little bit of extra tax revenue, I figured we could get to upgrading the town sooner rather than later.” The dreadlocked man said with an air of confidence around him.

     Jamie just nodded and watched as several more construction vehicles came through, then a thought occurred. “So…. how are these massive things going to get around the mountain?”

     Darnell’s normally dark complexion turned a sickly shade of white, “I uhm, gotta go, I gotta find Zippy for something.” And quickly he ran off, dropping his clipboard in his sprint.

     Jamie laughed to themself and walked slowly toward the butchery. If they were going to live in the new place they might as well fill up the fridge. Opening the butcher shop door with a loud diiiiing dong. “Hey Clarice, I could use some more sausages and a couple pork chops.”

     The buff yet jovial woman behind the counter raised up a butcher knife without even looking to signal she heard them. “So how’s the new place? Heard Christia finally wore you down into taking it over.”

     Letting out a laugh Jamie nodded, “Heha yeah, she did. Though to be honest I kinda like the place, especially considering how if I sat on my back porch the wind might throw me off the mountain.”

     Clarice shook her head, “The little gnome said you don’t have to worry about that, that the wind won’t get through the thick mana around the mountain enough to knock you off.”

     Jamie shrugged noncommittally, “I know, but I still don’t like heights.

     Giving Jamie a brown paper bag filled with the items shrink-wrapped and ready for the fridge Clarice returned to chopping meat. “I heard mana likes old stuff, you find something enchanted that could help me out and if it’s good enough, you'll never have to pay again.”

     Jamie handed the woman a twenty, winking at her, “You’ll be top on the list!” and then walking out.

     Billy Joe was in the middle of the road on the way back to Jamie’s new shop. “Whatcha doin there sleepy? Thought you said you weren’t gettin up till noon.” Billy joe said with a wry smile on her face.

     Jamie let out a sigh and looked over to the large clock in the center of town. Ten fourty-something or other, “That was the plan, then dozers and diggers and whatever the heck else had a welcome to town parade right by my window.”

     Billy Joe laughed for a bit then shrugged. “Same here, I figured I deserved a few extra winks after I calmed my fear of heights down. Least I hear there’ll be a guard railing might be able to get within a mile of the edge now without hyperventilating.” Billy Joe winked, smiling again, which made Jamie smile, in turn making them feel much better.

     The two of them walked back to Jamie’s new antique shop… well, as new as one gets an antique shop. After the two of them opened the black velvet-covered glass door both of their mouths fill wide open, Jamie dropped their bag of dinner. Inside the shop, old rocking horses were rocking on their own, record players were playing. An old VHS unit older than Jamie was playing a copy of some straight to home video sequel. An old wind up monkey with symbols was reading ‘Hamlet’ and a cukoo clock bird was having high tea with a sippy chicken desk ornament.

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     In the middle of it all, an old miner’s lamp was lit in the middle of the room humming a tune to itself. However, it took Billie Joe and Jamie a few moments to catch on to that fact, as they were first-hand re-learning the power of magic.

     “J-Jamie… w-was your shop doing this before you left for the butcher?” Billie Joe asked, her voice trying to be steady but the fear and amazement bled through her tone.

     Jamie shook their head after trying to make sound come out of their mouth and failing. Soon, after what could have been seconds or minutes Jamie spoke, “I came out the back porch… there was so much noise outside that I never thought to check…” Jamie cut off, completely flaberghast at what was going on in front of them as wrestling action figures walked up to an old tube TV and started playing an Atari.

     “So… Uhm… any idea what to do now? Because I kinda agree with Macho Man and Mr. ‘The Giant’ over there.” Billie Joe asked, quick to recover as ever.

     Suddenly, a voice came from nowhere, even-toned and moderately young-sounding. “Oh, hi there, do you have a wish too?”

     Jamie’s face lost all color having been brought up on magical wishes going awry in every story, they quickly covered Billie Joe’s mouth before it could get them into something Jamie can’t get them out of.

     “Wishes?” Jamie asked, looking around the room with shifty eyes trying to figure out where the voice was coming from.

     The voice, however, seemed undisturbed, again coming from nowhere in particular it continued. “Yeah, wishes!” It sounded excited, then continued, “I think I can grant them, or, at least that’s what I think is happening. So many things around here have sooooo many wishes.”

     Jamie, still keeping their hand firmly placed over the disappointed Billie Joe’s mouth. “What are you? Some kind of genie?”

     Billy joe made a 'hrmpfing' noise and crossed her arms in defeat as Jamie kept their big mouth closed for both their sakes.

     “Genie? Hmmm there was a genie in one of those things I watched! That sounds kinda like what I do, but I don’t think I only have three goes…. Then again I don’t think I've given anyone more than one wish so far.” The voice continued, but this time Jamie’s eyes closed in on the old mining lantern in the corner of the room in front of the VHS player. The red flame grew almost three times larger when the voice was talking.

     “You… don’t know what you are?... sorry, who you are I mean?” Jamie corrected themselves.

     “What? Who am I?” the voice went quiet for a while but the magical mayhem going in the shop didn’t. During the silence, Jamie let go of Billie Joe’s mouth and noticed something. Even though tons of inanimate objects were moving, it wasn’t a mess… Each of the things moved with a purpose, it was actually very orderly.

     Then, the voice continued, “I guess I do not know, all I know is that I am doing my best to make everything here happy.”

     Just as Jamie spoke under their breath, “Well, even if it seems kinda childish I don’t think it means us any harm.” They relaxed slowly.

     Billy Joe, seeing Jamie back off a little, took her chance, “I wish I had magic powers!” She said, jumping in the air in victory as she did.

     The voice returned, “Oh, sure.”

     Billie Joe’s body was wrapped in a glittery looking magical substance that melted away to nothing, leaving her… completely the same. “Hey what gives?” She asked.

     Jamie, without waiting for a reply immediately pulled Billie Joe out of the shop and started dragging her in the direction Darnell had gone in earlier.

     After ten minutes of Jamie doing their best to get through to her and finally getting through the two of them walked toward the only person in town who might know what’s going on: Zippy.

     ***

     Jamie and Billie Joe walked up on Darnell talking to a tree stump rather animatedly.

     “What do you mean we need to put in a new water system?!” Darnell nearly screamed at the stump during the last bit of his sentence.

     Upon closer inspection, the stump held a very small humanoid man, Zippy. “I said that your mountain floating into the sky cut you off! After your current water tower is empty that’s it, so you don’t have time to make new roads right now.” Zippy passionately said back.

     Darnell, defeated turned and walked away from Zippy, in-between Billie Joe and Jamie mumbling to himself. “How am I supposed to find two full pallets of magical wood?”

     Jamie walked up, pulling Billie by her jacket, “Hey uhm, Mr. Zippy?”

     The gnome looked up, unimpressed, “It’s just Zippy, my last name is Runs-on-fire. I suppose it would be weird to call me Mr. Runs-on-Fire. It seems literal last names have not been in custom for a time. Still, what would you like to talk about?” His mood brightened as he talked, the discussion a second ago had been the reason for his initially sour mood.

     “Well… I think my antiques shop has a genie and my best friend here…” Jamie pulled Billie Joe in front of them. “...Made a wish to be magical and I just want to know we aren’t getting monkey’s palmed or whatever.”

     Zippy held an oversized pencil eraser to his chin as he looked over Billie Joe’s form. “Well… she looks fine, the young lady seems to have begun her journey of being.” as both of the humans looked completely confused and expectant zippy let out an exasperated breath and continued. “She’s beginning her journey, the one that takes you from human to something more.”

     Realization washed over both of their faces as Jamie and Billie Joe looked at each other in terror. Zippy quickly continued, seeing the panic in their eyes, “Don’t worry it doesn’t look like your mana’s been tampered with, just given a small jump-start. I’d gather after this, that most of the town will be finished with their journey in three months.”

     With neither of their faces moving from abject shock Jamie and Billie Joe nodded, Zippy had told them plenty about the changes at the town hall meeting. Billie chimed in first, “So, what you think I’ll wind up? Like a minotaur or maybe some sorta sexy elf?”

     Jamie snorted. “Probably an ogre considering how much firewood you chop, how many extra helpings did you make last time? Enough for four or five houses for three weeks last winter?”

     Quickly turning back; Jamie looked at Zippy, “So… about that genie?”