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Dungeons Are Bad Business
Volume 2 Chapter 70: Luna, Calico, and Janice (Interlude)

Volume 2 Chapter 70: Luna, Calico, and Janice (Interlude)

While spring was coming to Oar’s Crest, the mountains felt like were still deep in the throes of winter. Heavy snow drifts made walking hard, slow work, and spires of ice lined the path as Luna, Janice, and Calico climbed towards the fourth set of caves that’d been marked on their map. The three women shivered as they trudged forward, but their spirits were high too.

“This is so exciting,” Calico said as she picked herself up from a fall. Her heavy armor made her progress even slower and more arduous than the others, but the [Sister of the Plate] had yet to complain even once. “It’s like something out of the stories the older sisters used to tell us before bedtime.”

“It’s too cold,” Janice muttered. The [Backstabber] was dressed the lightest of all of them – with little more than a thick black fur cloak draped over her shoulders – due to the fact that her class skills wouldn’t work if she was Overencumbered.

Calico shrugged. “It’s not that bad. Besides, being cold is way better than being stuck in the abbey all the time.”

“If you don’t like it there you could always leave,” Janice replied, stopping to take a sip of water. “It’s not like the sisterhood mandates lifelong service, right?”

“They don’t, but it’s the only home I’ve ever known,” Calico said. “I was left on the abbey doorstep as a baby, and through Piper’s light I’ve had a good life. Even with all my…recent developments.”

Luna gave the other girl a sympathetic smile and patted her on the pauldron. The metal was cold to the touch, but the [Pumpkin Witch]’s warm magic helped mitigate the chill. “Being a [Witch] isn’t a bad thing, Calico. You just need some time to get used to the idea.”

“Some of the other sisters said the same thing,” the burgeoning [Stitch Witch] said. “They told me that [Witches] used to be a big part of the sisterhood, that is, until Indigo Mary went bad and killed some [King] whose name I don't remember. But some of the others said that it was all magic that went bad, and that [Witches] were simply biding their time until they could get ready for another try at taking over.”

She trailed off, giving Luna a significant look, and Luna shuddered before shaking her head. The Coven Wars had been a dark time, one of many throughout the continent’s long history, and like all such things it’d left scars in the minds of the people. Most folks didn’t care about [Witches] one way or the other, but there were still plenty who remembered the stories of boiling cauldrons full of [Crusaders] and [Paladins] and magical powers that defied the rules of the System. Her mother had warned her that there were those who still saw [Witches] as evil, though thankfully she’d been lucky enough to avoid ever encountering them in Oar's Crest.

“If there’s a conspiracy of [Witches] out there that wants to do that, I don’t know about them,” the [Pumpkin Witch] said. “Most of the ones I’ve met have just wanted to help their communities and their fellow citizens. They’re regular people, like me and you.”

[Inspiring Presence +1]

Calico nodded, seemingly reassured for the moment. Luna pitied the poor girl. Being raised in an abbey meant that the [Sister of the Plate] was extremely knowledgeable about some things – Piper’s doctrine of combat tactics and military strategy, mostly – but woefully ignorant about others. Especially her magic, which she seemed to revel in and abhor in equal measure.

“The caves are getting close now,” Luna said. “We’ll rest up there for a while and let you use your [Sympathetic Bond] skill to try and track down one of those reservoirs. Any signs of yetis, Janice?”

The [Backstabber] pointed at the spires of ice. “Who do you think made those? They’re not natural, I’ll tell you that much.”

Through the falling snow, Luna couldn’t really see anything on the spires that suggested they hadn’t formed naturally. Certainly, they were oddly uniform, but all sorts of strangeness abounded across the continent. Heck, there’d been a few decades before she was born where ghostly lanterns had hovered over the Oar’s Crest market every Midsummer, and nobody had ever managed to explain where they’d come from. They’d stopped on their own, but some of the older residents still mentioned missing them each year when they failed to manifest.

The cave was dark and warm, and Janice hurried to build them a fire. The crackling flames were appreciated, but far from enough to be comfortable. Luna was tired of being cold, as they’d been in the mountains for days and she decided to help warm up the place a little bit. Closing her eyes, Luna reached into her wells and grabbed a tiny fingerful of magic. It would be just enough to do what she wanted: chase the chill from their fingers and cheeks, and Luna released it into the world with a smile.

[Stealth -1]

“Now what’d you go and do that for?” Janice hissed. “Don’t you know that yetis have an incredible sense of smell? If there are any around, you’re going to be leading them right to us!”

“It’s fine,” Luna said as she reached into her bag and drew out one of her snack bags. She fished out a bit of jerky and popped it into her mouth, offering her companions pieces as well. Calico – never one to turn down something to eat, Luna had noticed – snatched two, but Janice shook her head.

“I’m going to go and use [Heartbeat Seeker],” the [Backstabber] said. “Make sure that nothing is coming to find out why this cave reeks like an autumn coffee festival.”

Drawing her dagger and flipping from hand to hand, Janice disappeared into the darkness of the cave behind them.

“Sheesh, what’s she so sour about?” Calico asked, grabbing another piece of jerky and taking an eager bite. “It’s not that big of a deal, is it?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think so, but in her defense I probably should have asked before using some magic.”

“Well, I appreciate the warmth,” Calico said. “Piper knows this little fire isn’t going to do much to help us out.”

Luna smiled, and tucked her snacks away. “Why don’t you go ahead and try your skill now, Calico?”

The [Sister of the Plate] reddened, then reached into her own satchel and grabbed the small pouch she’d used to store the thread taken from Reginald. Pinching it between her index finger and thumb, she closed her eyes and said, “[Sympathetic Bond].”

Strands – or maybe threads, actually – of crimson magic blossomed from her fingertips and formed a ball around her hands. They burned with an intensity that reminded Luna of the rising sun, then faded almost as quickly as they’d arrived. The air took on a slightly smoky smell, and Luna recoiled from it instantly, both physically and magically.

“Are you okay?” Calico asked when she saw the [Pumpkin Witch]’s expression. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No, no, you’re fine,” Luna answered, wiping a tear from her eye and bolstering herself with a bit more power from her wells. “I’m just not used to your magic is all.”

“Then why didn’t it bother me when you used yours?”

“My magic is more attached to me than yours is to you,” Luna answered. “The longer you practice, and the more powerful you become” – especially if you break your limits – “the more risk you have of adverse reactions when exposed to other types of [Witches]. With time and training though, it won’t bother you as much. I’m sure it won’t be as bad the next time you use the skill. Did you sense any sort of connection?”

Calico looked dubious at Luna’s explanation, and shook her head. “I thought there might have been a twinge of something there for a second, but it didn’t last long. Should I try again?”

Luna shook her head. “Your wells are still really shallow, so let’s not waste your magic. We’ll go ahead and explore a bit more, then have you use your skill again later.”

“But this is the fourth time I’ve tried, and we haven’t found anything yet! Aren’t you getting worried that we missed one of the reservoirs already and I’m just too weak to have noticed?”

“Not at all. Nobody finds what they’re looking for on the first try outside of the old legends,” Luna said with a warm smile. “We’re not that lucky, but we’ll be persistent and keep going until we track one down!”

The [Sister of the Plate] leaned back, satisfied with that response, and returned Reginald’s thread to its pouch. The two made small talk for a few minutes, discussing their lives and hobbies until Janice came sprinting out of the darkness with her dagger raised and her eyes wide.

“We’ve got trouble!” she cried. “Big footsteps are heading this way!”

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Luna faced the darkness, her lance and shield ready for anything as she waited for something to emerge. A small pumpkin patch rested around her boots, filled to bursting with her magic and ready to be drawn from if necessary.

Behind her, Calico squared herself up and adopted the position of any [Sister of the Plate] going into combat, with her heavy gauntlets raised in front of her body and an [Ethereal Shield] floating in the air in front of them. She had yet to manifest any of her [Witch] skills for combat, so she stayed true to the training she'd received from the abbey.

Janice was in the back, closest to the cave entrance, with her second dagger drawn. Every muscle on her slender frame was tensed; she was ready to spring into combat at a moment’s notice.

No matter how Luna tried, she couldn’t hear anything approaching. Janice’s skill had suggested that the interloper – whatever it was – would be arriving soon, but so far there was no sign of anyone other than the three women inside the cave.

Still, Luna stayed vigilant, and when she finally heard a distant sound – boom, boom, tap, tap, boom, boom, tap, tap – she turned to her companions and hissed, “Ready yourselves, they’re almost here.”

What sort of monster was waiting for them in the caves? Luna had heard all sorts of stories from the [Mountain Wardens] – the [Ranger]-like group of hardscrabble men and women who prevented kids from Oar’s Crest from wandering around the mountains – about vicious beasts and horrifying monsters. It was only a warding spell cast by a long forgotten [Wizard], they said, who kept the creatures at bay and away from the cities.

Like Janice, Luna had heard the stories of yetis too. Terrifying monstrosities of fur and muscles, if the stories were to be believed, capable of ripping through stone and steel like paper as well as controlling ice and snow with near supernatural dexterity.

Though she was confident in her strength, Luna didn’t relish the idea of fighting such an opponent. But she would, if it came down to it.

The sounds grew louder and louder, and Luna swallowed hard as she saw something in the darkness move. Whatever was coming had almost arrived.

Yet as ready as she thought she was, the [Pumpkin Witch] was totally unprepared for what came walking out of the darkness.

It was a young girl, no more than ten or eleven years old, wearing a heavy coat and carrying a mallet that looked to be entirely too heavy for her. Her long, braided, brown hair poked out from beneath her hood, and her eyes were impossibly blue.

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“Hi, I’m May,” the girl said cheerily, her voice squeaking with each word. “Are you a [Witch] by chance, lady? Wuffle said that he smelled coven magic.”

Janice hissed, Calico squealed, and Luna kept her weapon ready as she nodded. “I am. It’s nice to meet you, May. Now who is Wuffle?”

A loud, gurgling sound answered her, and the biggest creature Luna had ever seen emerged from the gloom. It stood probably close to fifteen feet tall, and looked to be almost as wide. Its fur was a riot of blue and purple swatches, and two tiny yellow horns protruded from its skull. With arms that nearly reached the floor, it moved on all fours like a gorilla, its every step sending an echo throughout the entirety of the cave. Its eyes were blue – the same shade as May’s, interestingly enough – and they seemed to sparkle as the creature bent down so that it could look into Luna’s.

The [Pumpkin Witch] took a deep breath but held her ground. She dug into her wells, readying herself to start throwing magic around if it came down to it.

“See?! I told you,” Janice said, her voice dripping with venom. “That’s a yeti or I’m a fishkin! You shouldn’t have used that magic.”

Not taking her attention off the yeti, Luna said, “We’ll talk about that later, okay?”

Janice muttered something about an itch, but she spoke so quietly that Luna didn’t hear it all.

“This is Wuffle,” May said pointing to the yeti. “He’s my friend! He said that [Witches] were really nice, but it’s been over a hundred years since any visited the mountains. He’d like me to ask you if you’re here in accordance with the ancient rites. Are you?”

That gave Luna a moment’s pause. She had no idea what the yeti was talking about. Should she say yes? Were the ancient rites a good thing or a bad one?

No, in all things, Luna believed strongly in telling the truth. Let the cards fall where they may, she decided.

Shaking her head, she said, “No, I don’t think so. I’m afraid I don’t even know what those are. I’m a self-taught [Witch] for the most part, and not a member of any coven or circle. My companions and I are adventurers, and we’re here looking for a reservoir of some kind. I’m afraid that I don’t know what it looks like, though.”

May turned to the yeti and made a series of strange grumbling sounds that all seemed the same to Luna’s ear. The yeti hummed for a moment, then replied in kind.

“He says that sounds difficult. If you’d be willing to follow us, though, we might be able to help you find what you’re looking for. The yetis have lived down here for a long time.”

Though she was unsure whether the invitation was genuine or simply polite coercion, Luna’s gut told her to accept and follow the yeti and girl into the dark. If it turned into a cat dirt sandwich…well, that’s what her magic was for. It burned in her veins, reassuring her of her own strength.

“What do you two think?” she asked her companions. “Should we go along with them?”

Calico nodded, and after a moment Janice did too.

Looking into Wuffle’s eye, Luna made a small bow. “We thank you for your hospitality,” she said, putting as much gravitas into her voice as she could. “Please lead the way.”

----------------------------------------

After what felt like an eternity stumbling through the dark maze of caverns that stretched on and on, Luna, Janice, and Calico emerged in a room that was surprisingly well-lit. Glowing crystals hung from the walls in neat rows, emitting soft amber light that was warm and inviting.

They were on a walkway of sorts, overlooking a wide basin filled with spherical stone buildings. An old, abandoned city, Luna realized as she looked down. She hadn’t ever been one to be fascinated by stories of old civilizations, hadn’t ever felt the [Archaeologist]’s call to go and explore, yet looking down at this ancient marvel was enough to take her breath away.

Bright spots moved back and forth down below, and after a moment Luna realized that they were other yetis. Going from having expected to never see any yetis – indeed, the [Pumpkin Witch] had thought them a myth or long-since extinct – to not being able to count all of them on both hands and feet was something of a shock too, and Luna stopped walking near the edge to simply take it all in.

Janice and Calico seemed stunned too, with the [Sister of the Plate] looking around and asking, “Girls, did either of you know that any of this was here?”

The [Backstabber] shook her head, and Luna did the same.

“I never imagined such a thing could be down here,” Calico whispered. “How has this stayed a secret for so long?”

Luna was curious about that too, and turned to May to ask. She doubted that the girl would have any answers, being as young as she was, but to her surprise, May perked right up.

“It’s magic!”

“What do you mean?” Luna asked. “What sort of magic?”

Wuffle rumbled something, and May’s eyes lit up. “He says to follow him, and he’ll show you what he means.”

“I’m not interested in any magic,” Janice said. She shifted her weight and folded her arms across her chest. “You two can go look at it if you want, but I’m going to stay right here.”

Leaving the [Backstabber] behind, Luna and Calico made their way down a series of stone stairs that led into another smaller cavern. A yellow gray yeti with four curved horns watched them warily as they walked by, until Wuffle looked over and grunted something that caused it to relax.

At the end of the cavern was a weathered blue door that looked positively ancient. The longer Luna stared at it, the more she noticed flickering runes that popped in and out of existence around the handle and hinges. It was magic, to be sure, but not of any kind that she recognized. Instead of being tied to a thing, or an idea, the way it was for [Witches], it was pure arcane energy. Full of mystery and wonder, yes, but also a strange sense of danger that gave the [Pumpkin Witch] pause.

Wuffle opened the door, and Luna and Calico walked inside. The floor was covered in a series of interconnected shapes – mostly circles and triangles, with a few other odds and ends included as well. It kind of reminded her of Vee’s lab, though the [Ghost Maestro]’s doodlings were far less impressive.

“Who made this?” she asked, amazed at the sight.

May pointed to the far wall. “The [King] did, of course! He was the best!”

Luna turned and looked where the girl was pointing, and saw a mural that depicted three figures. The first was a tall and muscular man, bald and mustachioed. He carried a long, curved sword, and had a wide grin on his face. The second was a short and sturdy man wearing a long blue cloak and pointed hat. He carried a long, crooked staff with a gemstone on the end, and his expression was one of calm sagacity. He must have been the [King].

The third figure was something of a mystery. It had an odd, crooked body that was cloaked in a dark robe. A single golden arm emerged from the right side, and while its face was obscured a pair of fiery eyes had been painted in painstaking detail. They looked like they went to the end of the world.

Luna shuddered at the sight and turned away after a moment.

Wuffle pointed to the circles and said something, and May translated. “He said that this is the reason nobody in Oar’s Crest knows that we’re out here.”

“What is it?”

“A rune of amnesia, scribed by King Ildor’s own hand. It makes it so that if unless you have a talisman from the village or magic of your own, you’ll forget about this place within five minutes of leaving it.”

Calico frowned. “Why would he do such a thing?”

May looked around, as if uncertain, then whispered, “Because of the buried beast.”

“The what?”

But the little girl would say no more, and neither did the yeti. The buried beast, huh? Luna filed that name away for later. After some more time with the rune, Wuffle led the [Witches] back to where they’d left Janice.

The [Backstabber] was tapping her foot impatiently when they arrived, and she twirled her finger for Luna and Calico to hurry up when they tried to explain what they’d seen.

“Does it really matter that you saw a picture of some long dead people and a bunch of shapes on the floor? Do neither of you remember what we’re supposed to be doing here?”

Luna bit her lip. She hadn’t forgotten, really, but it would be lying if the [Pumpkin Witch] had been particularly concerned about the reservoir with so much other stuff to take in and absorb.

She turned to May. “Do you think Wuffle or any of the other yetis might be able to help us find what we’re looking for?”

The little girl shrugged. “Maybe? It’s tough to say without knowing what it looks like.”

Fair enough. Luna turned to Calico and said, “Why don’t you go ahead and try your [Sympathetic Bond] again?

The [Sister of the Plate] nodded, and fetched her little pouch. She used her skill just like she had in the cave, but this time Luna didn’t recoil from it. She’d mentally prepared herself, drawing from her wells to insulate her perception.

Almost immediately, Calico’s eyes snapped open and her grin grew wide before she pointed down the hall. “There’s a connection and it’s really close! It’s just down that way!”

Luna, through May, relayed this information to Wuffle, and the yeti seemed to perk up, if such a thing was even possible. Eagerly, he led them down a different stone corridor than he had when taking them to the rune room, and they found themselves inside a vault of sorts.

In the center of this new room was a wide pool, filled with a strange swirling liquid. It didn’t feel explicitly magical, but Luna was still wary as Wuffle walked over and dunked one of his massive arms right into it. He rooted around for a moment, looking like a person trying to fetch something from behind a couch, then pulled up a handful of the strange liquid.

The yeti rumbled a question.

“He wants to know if this is what your friend’s skill was connecting to.”

Luna gave Calico a nod, and the [Sister of the Plate] used [Sympathetic Bond] again. Her face paled and she started sweating with effort, and Luna felt a twinge of regret. The poor girl’s wells were probably near empty.

“Try dunking the bit of thread into that,” Luna suggested. “See if it does anything.”

Calico stepped forward and did so, a burst of azure confirming that the two were connected.

“Well, that answers that,” Janice said. “The reservoirs are here. Now let’s get back to town and collect our reward.”

Wuffle grunted, and May said, “He says that if this is for who he thinks it is, you’ll be better off bottling some of the liquid up and bringing it back. The [King]’s old companion is welcome to some of his old power, but he’s no longer welcome in these halls.”

Luna bowed to the yeti and thanked him for his consideration. Another thing to file away for later, she decided.

The women waited for a few minutes, while Wuffle went to collect a vessel capable of holding the strange liquid. He returned with four crystalline flasks, each of which were filled to the brim and stoppered before being handed over. They were surprisingly heavy.

“There’s just one last thing we have to do before you can go,” May said. “You and the girl in the red armor have to take the vow.”

“What sort of vow might that be?”

A scratchy voice answered them. “A promise of silence. Those who have magical powers have to make a promise that they’ll keep this place a secret. There are riches here that those outside would covet, but we guard great dangers too. An old threat sleeps deep in the earth, and even if it's already dead it’s sure to have left an echo capable of causing great misery. We dare not take the risk.”

“And what about me?” Janice asked. “I don’t have any magic. Do I get out of the vow?”

The speaker, who was an old and gnarled yeti with purple fur, shook its head. “You do not need to worry about anything, young one. Soon after you leave this place you will forget it.”

Janice snorted. “No way. I remember everything.”

The yeti smiled. “Do you two [Witches] accept this requirement?”

Luna nodded, and Calico did the same.

“Excellent,” the yeti said. “I will now begin the ritual.”

----------------------------------------

The three adventurers slowly made their way down the mountain. The air was cold and it was still snowing, but their spirits were high as they waded through snow drifts nearly as tall as they were.

“I can’t believe we found the reservoir in a cave,” Janice said. “Talk about a bit of luck, eh? I wish we could have found a yeti though, I would have loved to tell some of the guys back at the guild that they’re still around.”

Luna nodded, giving Calico a significant glance. “That would have been cool, I guess.”

Just as the old yeti had said, within a few minutes of leaving the hidden city Janice’s eyes had glazed over for a moment and she’d gone completely stiff. When she’d snapped out of her pseudo-trance, she had no recollection of the yetis or anything else that they’d seen, and instead believed that they’d found the reservoir in an abandoned cave that’d been marked on their map.

Luna wasn’t about to go and try to stir anything up for the [Backstabber], either. Keeping secrets was a time-honored [Witch] tradition, and a small part of her felt like she’d just taken another crucial step into the sorority of her predecessors.

[Congratulations, you are now a Level 37 Pumpkin Witch!]

[Might +1]

[Your wells have gotten deeper!]

The [Pumpkin Witch] smiled. It was nice, being a torch bearer of sorts, though now she had a lot of questions that would be difficult to answer. She wondered if there was a way she could get some alone time with Reginald.

Before she could really ruminate on that and try to come up with a plan, a scarlet arrow -- the result of [Right Place, Right Time] -- appeared in her mind’s eye.

There was trouble in the city.

“Come on girls, hurry up!” she called!

Character Sheets:

Luna Redhenny:

Primary Class: Pumpkin Witch (Sarah Redhenny), Level 37 (+1)

Secondary Class: Tailor (Sarah Redhenny), Level 11

Tertiary Class: Girl-Who-Saves-The-Day (Citizens of Oar’s Crest), Level 9

Might: 47 (+1)

Wit: 31

Faith: 27

Loyalty: 35

Adventurousness: 38

Guts: 40

Hope: 224

Stealth: 9 (-1)

Charisma: 27

Inspiring Presence: 9 (+1)

Leadership: 6

Determination: 4

<3**Infatuation**<3

Janice Daggerhand

Primary Class:Backstabber (), Level 24

Secondary Class: Hunter (self), Level 20

Tertiary Class: Dancer (Oar’s Crest Dance and Ballet Studio), Level 6

Additional Class: Antimagic Advocate (#*%#&!# $#), Level 1 (+1)

Might: 31

Wit: 30

Faith: 17

Stealth: 40

Impatience: 28 (+1)

Cunning: 22

Adventurousness: 38

Guts: 39

Intimidating Presence: 7

Magical Anathema: 1 (+1)

Calico Murphy

Primary Class: Sister of the Plate (Piper’s Abbey, Oar’s Crest), Level 19

Secondary Class: Stitch Witch (Self), Level 4

MIght: 35

Wit: 20

Faith: 38 (-1)

Guts: 22

Righteous Duty: 30

Adventurousness: 14

Diligence: 10

Respectfulness: 18

Ambition: 9

Determination: 13