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Dungeons Are Bad Business
Volume 2 Chapter 43:

Volume 2 Chapter 43:

After Brice left and Alforde emerged triumphant in his bout against the kitrekin adventurer, Vee reset the dungeon and let his mind wander. Leaning back in his chair, Vee laced his fingers behind his head and closed his eyes, basking in the rays of warm sunlight coming through the window.

It was so pleasant that Vee found himself starting to nod off, though a cry from Reginald woke him up before he could truly fall asleep.

“Boss! Wake up! There’s some weird little creatures crawling around the window! Hey!”

Through bleary eyes, Vee looked out and saw that his [Majordomo] was indeed telling the truth. Small spherical brown creatures were swarming the lower corners, and it looked like a few were trying to wedge themselves through the crack. Vee hadn’t ever seen anything like them before, though that wasn’t particularly surprising. After all, while he’d read all of Epscot Roosgerald’s Monster Manuals more times than he could count, he wasn’t exactly a trained [Monsterologist].

“Do you know what they are?” he asked Reginald, picking the hat up and carrying him to the window so they could both get a closer look. The [Core Spirit] studied them for a moment, then flapped his brim.

“Afraid not, Vee. They…kind of look like mud though, don’t they?”

The [Dungeon Master] bent forward and squinted for a moment before he saw what his hat meant. Indeed, the tiny creatures did look like mud, which prompted Vee to activate [Third Sight].

Interestingly, they weren’t spirits or ghosts, which meant that they were probably summons of some sort. While that was nice to know, it still didn’t explain why they were swarming his window.

The [Dungeon Master] found that he was curious about the little creatures. They didn’t look dangerous in any way, so he carefully pulled opened the window and the – globlins, he decided – scurried inside. There were more of them than he’d originally thought. A lot more. He closed the window almost as quickly as he’d opened it, but by then a veritable horde was inside and skittering around. Vee stomped on one as it crawled across his floor and it popped, sending a tiny wisp of smoke up into the air. Any lingering doubts that they were summons of some sort vanished. But what did they want?

Pinching his thumb and index finger together, Vee activated [Shape Ectoplasm] and slapped together a makeshift box. He made himself a little paddle too, and used it like a broom to sweep the critters inside. A few tried to escape away, but Vee was faster than they were and shoved them into the box. He accidently stomped on a few more as he chased down the stragglers, and Vee wrinkled his nose at the smell of smoke in the air.

Making another sheet of ectoplasm, Vee sealed the box shut and set it on the ground, where it started shaking almost immediately. The rumbles turned into pounding, and soon enough every side of the box was straining against itself.

“Boss, step back!”

The urgency in Reginald’s voice prompted Vee to do so without question, which was good because the box veritably exploded a few seconds later. Shards of ectoplasm went flying in every direction, and Vee ducked beneath a large chunk that bounced off the wall behind his head.

Down on the floor in the place of the globlin swarm, there was a small and angry golem with four arms and a mean scowl. It looked back and forth around the room, grunting and flexing. It looked around the room, its beady eyes seeking something.

“Any ideas, Reginald?”

“Summons aren’t exactly my specialty. Can’t you get rid of it?”

“I don’t think so. It’s not a ghost or a spirit, but I’ll give it a try all the same,” Vee said as he held out his palm. A familiar warmth spread across his palm. “[Banish]!”

Sure enough, though, the skill failed to do anything. The energy in his palm fizzled and faded to nothing while the golem started walking around the room. Vee tried to catch it with a rope of ectoplasm, but he was no [Wrangler] and his throws missed by a wide margin.

Unsure of what else to do, Vee resorted to the tried-and-true method of handling any problem: picking up a chair and readying himself to use it as a bludgeon. Alas, the chair was distressingly heavy, so after a few seconds of warily watching the little golem snarl as it picked up speed and wincing at the thought of his poor fingers, Vee set it back down and decided it was time for plan B.

Now, normally in situations like these, Alforde was plan B – as well as plan every other letter Vee could think of – but the armorsoul was down in the dungeon and couldn’t get to the office fast enough. In his best friend’s place, Vee closed his eyes and summoned his orchestra.

Unknown creature in tower office. Attend me, quickly.

The nearest fiends, the [Dungeon Maintainers], ceased their work at once and hurried into the room as fast as their legs would carry them.

“Fan out and surround it,” Vee commanded. “Don’t let it out of this room, okay?”

Wordlessly, the [Dungeon Maintainers] did as ordered, seemingly transformed by the situation. Their claws, which were usually well hidden and difficult to see, were readily bared, and their eyes glittered with violence. Having grown used to their regular appearance, Vee couldn’t help but be taken aback by the savagery his minions displayed. A small part of him that’d never been fond of violence almost felt bad for the strange golem.

The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

As the orchestra advanced to capture the golem, its behavior changed. Instead of a casual walk, it started running as fast as it could. It darted over to Dheart, climbed over it, and leapt down to the floor. After a moment’s pause, it made a break for the door, its feet slapping on the ground. One of the [Dungeon Maintainers], Mi, squatted down and tried to grab it as it passed, but the little mud monster slipped out of the fiend’s grasp at the last second with a little squeak that sounded like a laugh. Fa and So came close too, but they also failed to apprehend the golem when they crashed into each other and fell down.

Ultimately, it was Do who finally stepped forward and scooped the creature up with a steady swoop. Wailing, the golem strained against the fiend’s grip for a moment, then let out a piercing shriek and crumbled into dust. The stink of smoke filled the air.

Vee shook his head. Apparently, the summoner had decided to end the skill.

Do and the rest of the fiends in the room looked around to make sure that none of the little creatures yet remained. When that was done, they also checked the window, which was also summon-free.

Do bowed. “Master, are you okay?”

The [Ghost Maestro] nodded. “I’m fine, thanks. It didn’t try to attack me or anything like that. I appreciate you all coming so quickly.”

A lilting chorus of fiendish voices filled the room in response.

“Of course master!”

“Happy to serve!”

“So long as you’re safe!”

“Always.”

“Work boring anyways.”

“Bonus ectoplasm?”

Vee looked over at the last two speakers. Their expressions were blank, and their faces hadn’t yet developed enough for him to tell if they were being serious or if they were trying to make a joke. He maintained eye contact with each of them in turn, but neither gave any indication one way or the other.

However, given the way Do’s entire body tensed, Vee suspected they were being serious. So a few members of the orchestra were showing signs of boredom with their tasks, huh? That was interesting for a couple different reasons, and Vee made a mental note to discuss that development with Rortenferry at some point. Surely his old [Professor] would be interested in such a thing.

He walked over to Dheart and dispensed a round of refined ectoplasm, which he passed out to his [Dungeon Maintainers]. The fiends ate in relative silence, though La – the one who’d asked for the bonus in the first place – gave a quiet and contented sigh at the end of its portion.

Do bowed once again. “Master, do you require anything else at this time? If not, should we return to work?”

Vee nodded, but as the fiends turned to leave, he remembered his little diorama. It was still sitting on the table with its arm spinning, and the [Dungeon Master] decided that he might as well save himself the hassle of summoning the fiends later. Since they were already here, he might as well tell them about the new room idea so that they could start thinking about the best way to build it.

“Actually, hang on for a second,” Vee said. His orchestra stopped and turned back around. “Before you get back to work, there’s something I want to show you guys and get your thoughts on. You see that wheel on the desk over there?”

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The fiends were excited about the spinning wheel, and offered plenty of constructive feedback. Do determined that it’d take them a few days to gather all the materials necessary for the new room, especially since they needed Vee to use [Salvage Materials] to get some of the pieces. That was more than fine by Vee. He’d been thinking about salvaging some of the nearby buildings anyways, as once winter ended he wanted to start expanding the opportunities for other businesses to set up shop near Crestheart. Beyond that though, Vee really wanted to come up with the best way to fill his new room with traps, minions, and other interesting elements. He didn’t want another portal room situation.

The upcoming not-circuit loomed large in the back of his mind too, and the [Dungeon Master] was determined not to let Crestheart look bad in front of such a large audience.

Feeling determined, Vee tried to turn his attention back to the day’s runs but found that he couldn’t focus. His mind was running in too many different directions, not least of which was the strange golem from earlier. Where had it come from? What had it been after? Who was responsible for its appearance? He didn’t know, and wasn’t exactly sure how he’d find out either, but it ticked him off.

He looked around the office, trying to figure out what could have attracted it in the first place. Truthfully, the place was pretty sparse. Vee hadn’t yet made decorating anything close to a priority, so the walls were bare and the tables and chairs strictly utilitarian. There weren’t any rare artifacts to be found or treasure to steal, so it really didn’t make any sense.

Rubbing his temples, Vee set the dungeon’s traps to work on their own and closed his eyes. The sunlight still felt nice as could be, and before long, the [Dungeon Master] had fallen asleep.

Main Character Sheets:

Vee Vales

Primary Class: Ghost Maestro (Locksmagister University), Level 29

Secondary Class: Dungeon Master (Oar’s Crest), Level 20

Tertiary Class: Guy-Who-Takes-Things-WAY-Too-Far (Self), Level 5

Might: 13

Wit: 32

Faith: 21

Adventurousness: 7

Ambition: 14

Plotting: 19

Charisma: 14

Devious Mind: 23

Leadership: 17

Guts: 14

Intimidating Presence: 10

Citizenship: 20

Public Relations: 5

Determination: 2

Persuasiveness: 1

<3**Infatuation**<3

Alforde Armorsoul:

Primary Class: Hammer Afficionado (Self), Level 22

Secondary Class: Right-hand man (Vee Vales), Level 14

Tertiary Class: Dungeon Champion (Oar’s Crest), Level 14

Additional Class: Glaciernaut (Sacha Silverblade), Level 5

Might: 41

Wit: 12

Faith: 28

Adventurousness (Bound – Vee Vales): 8

Endurance: 20

Intimidating Presence: 12

Heart of a Champion: 9

Citizenship (Bound – Vee Vales): 8

Vigilance: 6

Vanity: 2

Reginald:

Primary Class: Core Spirit (Unknown), Level ???

--~%@(%$@ &% (*$ #&#e !i$$ (#$%#$%#$@!)~--, #$v@& ????

Secondary Class: Loudmouth (Self), Level 38

Tertiary Class: Majordomo (Vee Vales), Level 15

Additional Class: Announcer (Vee Vales), Level 8

Might: 1

Wit: 33

Faith: 14

Ambition: 27

Greed: 22

Deceptiveness: 27

Manipulativeness: 37

$#&*!@!!

Loyalty: 46

Patience: 8

[#&%%%@%!#@__--#%]

Hop@#!! @#$@!@#

@#$@%%^

Citizenship (Bound – Vee Vales): 7