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Dungeons Are Bad Business
Volume 2 Chapter 46:

Volume 2 Chapter 46:

While the air was stilly chilly enough to sting Vee’s cheeks, there were plenty of sunny patches in the market where the [Dungeon Master] could comfortably linger. He reveled in the warmth of one such spot for a few moments, blowing into his cold hands and looking around for a stall that wasn’t so busy he’d be able to make a purchase before sunset.

Seeing the market so busy and bustling was a surprise for Vee, as his typical experience with Oar’s Crest proper was during the early morning or later evening hours, when most of the respectable types were either asleep or finished with their business for the day. He’d almost forgotten that it was a big city, and seeing so much activity was strangely unsettling.

Undoubtedly, the pleasant weather played a part too, and the babbling sounds of laughter and haggling were like music in their own small way. When he took a short glance with [Third Sight], Vee saw that the ethereal was filled with small spirits of excitement freshly formed, and the [Ghost Maestro] couldn’t help but smile as he watched them bouncing up and down like springtime bunnies before dissipating away.

When he was feeling almost – but not quite – too warm, Vee stood up from the square of ground he’d claimed as his own and started looking for Luna’s present in earnest. The crowd of shoppers moved with their own rhythm, and without Alforde’s comforting bulk to forge a path, Vee was left with no tools but his own scrawny frame and bony elbows. Neither were particularly useful when it came to pushing and shoving, though, so Vee had no choice but to follow the invisible hand of the market to his ultimate destination: Joleimna’s candy stall.

The salamander was as busy as anyone else, but he moved with the unhurried speed of an expert, and the line shrank almost as quickly as it grew. Vee took his place behind a matronly woman and her small child. The child looked up at Vee and stuck his tongue out before being admonished by his mother.

“That’s not polite, dearest.”

Thankfully, she didn’t see Vee’s reply in kind.

Trading cheeky expressions with the boy – who had to be no older than five or six – turned out to be a good way to pass the time as Vee shuffled forward every few seconds. Eventually, he was close enough to properly evaluate the [Candy Man]’s wares. What would Luna like? So far as he could tell, Joleimna didn’t make a bad candy, but surely there were some flavors that were better than others, right?

If only there was a bag of caramel apple, that was his and Luna’s favorite….

…Wait! There was! Over there on the corner of the table, tucked under a bevy of rose and pear rings. Vee grinned, but his joy was short-lived. What if one of the other patrons bought it before he could? That’d be the worst.

Well, okay, not the worst, but still kind of irritating. If that happened, maybe he’d buy a bag of those rose and pear rings, actually. They looked pretty good too.

A few minutes later, the boy and his mother walked away with a nifty little rock candy golem on a stick and a few bags of a purple candy that Vee had yet to try. Plum or grape flavored, probably. The boy waved to Vee with a genuine grin on his face, and Vee waved back.

[Public Relations +1]

“Mister Vales, what would you like today?”

Joleimna’s voice sounded a little thinner than usual, as if he’d recently been sick. Certainly, he looked a little scraggly and tired, but that might have just been because he’d been so busy all day. Vee pointed to the caramel apple candies, and was surprised to receive a small bag filled with a multitude of colored sugar hats as well when he handed over the necessary fleurs.

“I’ve been experimenting with more flavors,” the salamander said in response to Vee’s unasked question. “They’ve been quite popular lately, so I wanted you to try some.”

Vee pulled a yellow sugar hat out of the bag and popped it into his mouth. It was tangy and sweet; lemon curd and vanilla if he had to guess. “That’s delicious, Joleimna. Thanks. You know, these would be great to have in the Lobby.”

The salamander’s eyes widened. “Lobby?”

Aware that there were other people in line behind him, Vee stepped to the side and let the next man make his order before he explained what the Lobby was.

“If you’re interested, maybe we could work out some sort of deal to have you supply us with some of these sugar hats so we can sell them there too. Or any of your candies, really. I’m sure the adventurers would gobble them up.”

Joleimna bagged up another order – this time wrapping emberberry jellies with licorice straws – and scratched his chin with a long claw. “Hmm, providing additional products may be difficult, but having another place to sell my wares is definitely interesting to think about. Come back another time and we can discuss it further.”

Since Vee wasn’t really all that interested in Crestheart business that day, he nodded and took his leave. He’d come back next Saintsday at the earliest, after his promised conversation with Cornelius. With his gift in hand and his nerves under control, Vee headed across the market to the large tree where he’d agreed to meet Luna.

Naturally, his stomach twinged when he saw that she was already there waiting for him. She was wearing a pretty blue dress in addition to her normal boots and hat, and looked absolutely beautiful.

As Vee approached, he noticed a tiny pink butterfly fluttering around her head. Then, to his surprise, a second pink butterfly flapped in front of his eyes and headed toward Luna’s. He felt his cheeks grow warm.

The [Pumpkin Witch] turned her head toward him, and her smile was bright enough to challenge the sun above their heads. “Hey, Vee!”

“Hi, Luna. It’s good to see you,” Vee said, hoping that the cracks in his voice weren’t as noticeable to her ears as they were to his own. “I uh…I brought you something.”

[Charisma +1]

He held up the candy and handed it over. Luna took it, and the pumpkins in her eyes glittered as she chuckled. Before Vee could try and play it cool by saying that it wasn’t much or any other such nonsense, Luna threw her arms around him and gave him a big hug.

“Aw, thanks,” she said quietly in his ear. “You’re so sweet, you know that?”

“So are you.”

When they broke apart, they were both blushing and grinning like idiots, and their respective butterflies flew side-by-side in a steady rhythm.

This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it

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Alforde set down his book and looked over at the closet. Reginald had given up on banging away and howling about how unfair life was, but the armorsoul was certain that the hat would be back at it right away as soon as he opened the door.

Did he really want to spend the day listening to the [Core Spirit]’s jabbering?

Not really.

Though, at the same time…maybe?

He looked down at the pile of books at his feet. There were still several that he had yet to read, but the [Dungeon Champion] couldn’t help but feel that he wanted to actually to get out and do something. It was a lovely day outside, and the weather was too nice to be cooped up with stories. Even if he had recently discovered a fun [Private Investigator] series that actually scratched the “hard-boiled” itch.

Still, it was the perfect day for the armorsoul to go and see about finishing that quest he’d gotten to explore other hammer techniques, and so Alforde decided to do just that.

No time like the present, right?

[Adventurousness +1]

Getting up, the [Hammer Afficionado] decided that he didn’t really mind Reginald tagging along all that much, and that it wouldn’t be fair to leave the hat in the closet all day.

However, he found himself wondering if he’d made the right decision as soon as the closet door swung open.

“Finally, you find some mercy in those shining plates of yours! I was dying in there!”

“That’s not particularly likely,” Alforde said drily as he picked the hat up. “Nothing in there is remotely threatening.”

“It was just a figure of speech, big guy. Now, have you finally come to your senses and decided to follow after Vee and Luna? I want to watch the awkwardness! I’m sure it’s going to be delicious!”

Alforde shook his helmet. “We’re not going to do that. I’m going to visit Glenda and Jared, and see if they can help me with a quest I have. You’re welcome to come along, but if you’re going to nag me about Vee and Luna the entire time I’ll leave you here. It’s your choice.”

Reginald’s felty eyes and mouth tightened, as if the hat were deep in thought, then after a moment that seemed to stretch on just a touch too long, the hat said, “Fine, I’ll come with you. Anything is better than being stuck in here all day.”

Alforde nodded and set the hat down on his pauldron. It wasn’t quite as fitting of a perch as Vee’s head, but the armorsoul wasn’t going to wear the hat atop his helmet, and didn’t much feel like carrying Reginald in his gauntlets the entire time.

Slammy was over in the corner, but Alforde didn’t pick the weapon up either as he headed out the door. He was looking for new perspectives and ideas, and didn’t want his thoughts polluted by his regular routine and habit. His steps were surprisingly light without the weapon, and he cheerfully waved at Sculla as he headed toward Glenda and Jared’s shop. The ogre waved back as she filled her pipe.

As they typically did, people on the street looked up at Alforde with a mixture of awe and distrust as he passed by. A few of the older people waved at him awkwardly. Though he’d long since gotten used to the attention – most people didn’t see armorsouls all that often, and the stories about them in books tended to be on the violent side – Reginald clearly found the attention unsettling.

“Gawain’s balls, what are they all looking at? Hey! You there with the big chin! What are you staring at, huh? Is there something stuck to his back?”

The man stammered something Alforde couldn’t hear over the din of the crowd, but the armorsoul reached up and patted the hat’s brim.

“Leave it alone, Reginald. They don’t bother me.”

[Endurance +1]

[You can now use the Bide Time skill!]

“Hmph,” Reginald snorted, but he was quiet after that and let further gazes pass without comment. Alforde closed his eyes and checked his soul’s mirror, seeing that [Bide Time] was an active meditation skill that boosted focus and provided a temporary buff called Superfocus upon completion.

That sounded rather useful; he’d have to experiment with it later.

When they reached the smithy, Alforde politely knocked on the door and waited for Glenda to come and let him in.

The [Armorer] called back to her husband as she gave Alforde a hug. “Jared! Alforde is here! Come out and say hi! Now, what brings you by? Did you break another hammer?”

Alforde chuckled as he set Reginald down on the nearest table. He was careful to position Vee’s [Majordomo] so that the hat could see out the window and watch the traffic passing by as a courtesy, but his charity was wasted as Reginald turned around right away.

“I’m actually here because I was wondering if you two could help me with a quest,” Alforde said. “Sorry about not given you any notice, but see, I was hoping to learn more about how to use hammers that aren’t like Slammy. Am I interrupting anything?”

“Nah,” Glenda said. “We’re in a bit of a lull right now work-wise. Go on.”

“Well, I was wondering if maybe…if maybe there are other things I can do with a hammer than just hit stuff.”

Glenda’s eyes crinkled as she grinned. “I’m sorry to say it, but hammers are pretty much only good for hitting stuff. However, I know that’s not what you mean. There’s more to hammers than just trying to knock adventurers off the stage in your arena. Here, come with me and I’ll show you what I’m talking about.”

Excited at the prospect of learning new things, Alforde followed Glenda over to a small anvil and took the tiny hammer with the strangely bulbous handle she offered him.

“This is a chasing hammer.”

Alforde rotated it back and forth. “It’s so light! What’s it for?”

“Of course it’s light,” Glenda said. “We use it for our engraving work. If it was too heavy, we’d get tired and finishing anything fancy would take forever. I’m not sure if it’s what you’re looking for, but do you want to give it a try?”

“Of course I do!”

“Alright then, let me grab a practice plate for you.” Glenda set down a small piece of copper and handed Alforde a tiny chisel-looking thing. “Here’s a graver. Put the point into the metal and tap the back a few times with the hammer. It’ll be finnicky at first, but I think you’ll find it fun.”

Sure enough, Alforde enjoyed the engraving process. His lines were shaky messes, but the steady plinking taps of the chasing hammer were surprisingly calming to listen to. After he scratched up the entire practice plate, a notification popped up before his eyes.

[You have made progress in your quest, but there’s still more to learn! Keep going to get your reward!]

Looking at Glenda, Alforde handed back the chasing hammer and the graver. He said, “That was really fun. My quest isn’t quite done though. Do you have anything else I can try?”

Glenda laughed again and gestured around the shop. “Are you kidding me? We have all kinds of hammers here. Come on, I’ll show you how to use them.”

Listening to the [Armorer]’s diligent instruction, Alforde spent the afternoon pleasantly tapping away and soaking up as much knowledge as he could.

Main Character Sheets:

Vee Vales

Primary Class: Ghost Maestro (Locksmagister University), Level 29

Secondary Class: Dungeon Master (Oar’s Crest), Level 21

Tertiary Class: Guy-Who-Takes-Things-WAY-Too-Far (Self), Level 5

Might: 13

Wit: 33

Faith: 21

Adventurousness: 7

Ambition: 14

Plotting: 19

Charisma: 15 (+1)

Devious Mind: 23

Leadership: 17

Guts: 14

Intimidating Presence: 10

Citizenship: 20

Public Relations: 7 (+1)

Determination: 2

Persuasiveness: 1

<3**Infatuation**<3

Alforde Armorsoul:

Primary Class: Hammer Afficionado (Self), Level 22

Secondary Class: Right-hand man (Vee Vales), Level 14

Tertiary Class: Dungeon Champion (Oar’s Crest), Level 14

Additional Class: Glaciernaut (Sacha Silverblade), Level 5

Might: 41

Wit: 12

Faith: 28

Adventurousness (Bound – Vee Vales): 9 (+1)

Endurance: 21 (+1)

Intimidating Presence: 12

Heart of a Champion: 9

Citizenship (Bound – Vee Vales): 8

Vigilance: 6

Vanity: 2

Reginald :

Primary Class: Core Spirit (Unknown), Level ???

--~%@(%$@ &% (*$ #&#e !i$$ (#$%#$%#$@!)~--, #$v@& ????

Secondary Class: Loudmouth (Self), Level 38

Tertiary Class: Majordomo (Vee Vales), Level 15

Additional Class: Announcer (Vee Vales), Level 8

Might: 1

Wit: 33

Faith: 14

Ambition: 27

Greed: 22

Deceptiveness: 27

Manipulativeness: 37 (-1)

$#&*!@!!: !!!

Loyalty: 46

Patience: 9 (+1)

[#&%%%@%!#@__--#%]

Hop@#!! @#$@!@#

@#$@%%^

Citizenship (Bound – Vee Vales): 7