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Dungeons Are Bad Business
Chapter 73: Goodbye, [Clunker]!

Chapter 73: Goodbye, [Clunker]!

Alforde took two steps back as his opponent charged forward, raising Slammy to meet his opponent’s blow with one of his own. There was a terrible ringing that filled the air as the hammer’s head crashed into the adventurer’s shield, and Alforde lost his chance at a nice counterstrike when the force of the impact sent him sliding backwards toward the edge of the stage.

He activated [Give No Ground] to stop himself from tumbling over – he’d already been knocked off twice and had no desire to put himself on his last stock – and watched his foe gather strength for another attack.

The armorsoul met the [Knight]’s eyes, and was surprised to see how much anger glittered inside them. He’d never seen such hatred before during one of these bouts, and he wanted to ask what he’d done to deserve such a vicious expression. Unfortunately, he didn’t get the chance as the man rushed him over and over again, delivering such heavy blows that it took all of the [Dungeon Champion]’s strength to meet them.

Squaring himself up, Alforde threw a [Combination Attack] at the [Knight], only to have it blocked by the man’s shield. Still, his assault was ferocious enough to relieve some of the pressure he was under and take a few steps back towards the center of the stage.

If there was one thing that he’d learned from all of his fights, it was that keeping control of the center was the most important thing he could do. The [Knight] clearly knew that too, and for the next frantic minute, both combatants vied for this valuable position with a flurry of strikes, feints, parries, and counters that rang out like peals of thunder as frostnickel met cindersteel.

They were closely matched, and ended up in approximately the same place on opposite sides of the arena following their clash, which left Alforde to consider how he’d next approach. The burden of attacking was firmly on his shoulders, as the score was tied at two stocks apiece. If the remaining three minutes or so left on the clock expired without him being firmly in the lead, the [Knight] would win.

I’m not going to let that happen.

Lowering himself into a crouch, the armorsoul considered his options. He took a step forward and the [Knight] took a step sideways. Every movement that the armorsoul made was met by an equal one from the adventurer, and Alforde saw that the man was grinning savagely behind his shield. His eyes still burned like a bonfire, and Alforde felt his own temper rising at the sight. Who did this challenger think he was?

Though a small voice in the back of his helmet urged him to meet anger with anger and charge, the [Dungeon Champion] forced himself to stay calm, cool, and collected. He’d already learned that lesson in this fight, having lost his first stock of the match to an overzealous [Unstoppable Charge] that the [Knight] had deftly sidestepped. Against a different opponent, Alforde might have simply activated [Cyclone Smash] and used it to advance, but the adventurer had his own [Cyclone] skill, and the two abilities canceled each other out.

A different tactic, then. Settling into his slightly crouched stance, Alforde decided that he’d poke his opponent a bit at range with his socketed gem – [Frost Shot] – and see if he could leverage the long-distance pressure into an opportunity to retake the lead.

Plip! Plink! Clink! Clank!

The tiny shards of ice shattered against the [Knight]’s shield, and the man bellowed as he hunkered down, covering as much of his body as he could.

“You think that’s going to do anything? You idiot!”

Alforde sighed.

“I’ve decided that I don’t like you very much,” he said quietly as he strode forward. Holding Slammy, he peppered the [Knight]’s shields with continuous bursts of [Frost Shot], making sure to aim at a slightly different place each time so that his enemy would have to keep moving his shield to block them all. Boasts aside, the projectile pressure hindered the man’s ability to reposition on the stage, if only by a little bit, and Alforde recognized that for the opportunity to close the distance that it was.

“You coward!” the man yelled as another shard of ice bounced off his shield. “Fight me for real! Hammer to sword! Hand to hand!”

Alforde ignored the insult and continued his [Frost Shot] barrage. He’d closed half the distance already and had no intention of giving up a good thing. His goal was victory, not glory.

Once he got close to proper melee range, Alforde twisted Slammy’s grip so that the head returned to its normal shape. It wouldn’t do to shatter one of his crystals in battle if he could help it. Though it wouldn’t be a big deal for Hanako to make more, Alforde preferred not to waste things if he could help it. Besides, Vee had her working hard on making new trap crystals for the dungeon and the armorsoul didn’t want to add to her workload. She was just an intern, after all.

“Here’s that real fight you wanted. Hammer to shield and everything,” Alforde said as he squared up for a big horizontal sweeping blow and struck. When he felt Slammy’s head make contact with the man’s shield, he let his anger feed strength to the attack, and with a roar that would have put a lion to shame, the [Dungeon Champion] sent the [Knight] flying towards the edge of the stage.

However, by itself, the blow wasn’t enough to take the lead. In order to prevent the man from landing and recovering, Alforde sprinted forward and readied himself for another attack. Like he’d practiced dozens of times with Shadowforde since getting his new armor, he brought Slammy up for a blow that was reminiscent of splitting wood. Though it wasn’t a real skill, Alforde felt that same tickle of satisfaction he associated with one across his pauldrons as his chopping stroke caught the man in the air. Completely incapable of countering or mitigating the force of the blow, the [Knight] whizzed through the air and slammed into the ground.

Alforde walked to the edge of the stage and looked down at his foe.

The glare he faced now made the ones before it look like cheerful grins.

“That wasn’t sporting!”

The [Dungeon Champion] shrugged.

“Like I said, I don’t like you very much.”

The [Knight] swore as he bounced back up to the stage, but though it wouldn’t be official for another forty-five seconds, the battle was over. Alforde activated [Give No Ground] once more and blocked the man’s retaliatory strikes. Whenever his enemy drew too close, Alforde used [Pauldron Smash] to force him back.

When Reginald finally declared the end of the match, Alforde took a step back and lowered Slammy. He offered his gauntlet to the opponent.

If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

“Good fight! That was a fun—”

He stopped as the [Knight] slapped his gauntlet away and spat on the stage. “You got lucky today, but I’ll be back,” the man growled. “You’re nothing special. I know that now.”

Alforde didn’t know what to say as he watched the man leave, but felt that he’d made a mistake by not answering. There was a peculiar sensation in the center of his breastplate that he couldn’t put it into words, either.

It felt a little like infuriation mixed with loneliness.

***

No other adventurers made it to the champion’s arena that day, and that was probably a good thing. As Alforde headed up the stairs, his thoughts returned to the [Knight] over and over again. Not even his newly gained point in Might or level in [Dungeon Champion] was enough to keep his attention for long.

Why had the man disliked him so much? What was the root of all that anger? Was it just a bias against armorsouls? Alforde didn’t think so. Such a thing wasn’t exactly common anymore, though it wasn’t completely unheard of.

Instead, Alforde found himself replaying the adventurer’s last comment in his mind. You’re nothing special.

Was that true? If it was, did it matter? Alforde didn’t know, and he tried to push the matter from his thoughts. Dwelling on things he couldn’t understand was a great way to waste his time.

Alas, the [Knight]’s disdain stuck with him more than he would have liked to admit.

As he reached the floor of the towers where the slimes and skeletons had once been kept – Kai had been visiting the tower regularly and taking them to the menagerie in small groups and the floor was now empty – Alforde sensed something behind him.

He turned around and saw nothing, but the sensation of being watched remained as he finished climbing the stairs. When he neared the top, he thought he saw a glimmer of silver out of the corner of his eye, but naturally it wasn’t there when he twisted his helmet to get a better look.

Opening the door to the office, Alforde stepped inside and greeted his friends. Vee and Reginald were already counting up the day’s earnings.

“Good work today,” Vee said as he separated a pile of fleurs from the rest. He dumped them into a bag and tied it off. “We’ll take these to the bank later and exchange them for gold fleurs, okay?”

Alforde nodded and put the rest of the coins not destined for the bank in the dungeon’s vault. The space was still mostly empty, but Alforde was confident that it’d fill in time.

Once the day’s shards of chaos were counted and added to the dungeon’s slowly growing collection – there were almost a hundred of them now – Vee picked up his notebook and looked at Alforde.

“Do you mind if I go work in my lab for a couple hours before heading back?”

“That’s fine,” said Alforde as he headed to the wall where he kept a few books. “I’ll read until you’re finished.”

Once his friend was gone, Alforde sat down on the floor and picked up his book on castle defense. It was a strange and rather boring tome, but the armorsoul enjoyed dipping into more serious texts from time to time, instead of the campy fluff that he generally read. Reading as much as he did, he found that sometimes he needed different reading experiences to keep from growing jaded.

However, as he pored over a page about the best ways to make a wall difficult to scale – the answer, according to this author, was apparently lots of boiling oil – he saw another flicker of silver outside the office window. Getting up, he walked over and looked around. The snow from the day before had mostly melted, leaving nothing but a few bits of gray slush here and there on the sides of the road.

Down at the base of the tower, Alforde saw the towering figure in silver robes that he’d seen before. Well, it was good to know that he wasn’t going crazy, at least. In the light of day, he could make out its features much more clearly than he’d been able to before. Part of him wished that wasn’t the case.

The spirit was horrifying, with no eyes and a wide mouth that was filled with entirely too many teeth. However, despite the creature’s appearance, Alforde felt no fear at the sight. There wasn’t any malice emanating up from it – other than the wicked sword hanging from its hip, which still sent a wave of unease rolling through the armorsoul’s body – and it had said that it was a friend.

Ignoring the fact that it didn’t have eyes, the spirit looked up at him and beckoned.

Alforde straightened up. He recalled the last thing the spirit had told him the last time they’d met.

See that you look upon yourself and grow stronger.

The armorsoul wondered if he’d done enough. The [Knight] hadn’t seemed to think so. You’re nothing special.

“We’ll see about that, won’t we?” Alforde muttered.

Telling Reginald where he was going, Alforde made his way down the stairs of the tower, wincing at the sound of Vee’s cursing as he passed his friend’s laboratory along the way. It was followed by a sound that was awfully close to breaking glass.

Outside, the spirit stood tall in the center of the road and smiled at Alforde. It was an unsettling expression; the spirit’s maw was wider than should have been possible. Standing almost nine feet tall, it was dressed like a [Warrior Monk], though Alforde didn’t recognize the sect. That wasn’t surprising; there were more martial sects on the continent than leaves on trees. Heavy strands of beads that reminded the armorsoul of flame maple hung around its neck, and it wore a thick rope as a belt. Standing so close to the spirit, Alforde could see that it was covered in tiny, crisscrossing white lines that looked all too much like scars.

“It’s good to see you again,” Alforde said. “I think I’ve done some of what you said. I’m definitely stronger than I was before.”

“Ta,” the spirit answered. “But you still have a long way to go, little champion. Yours is a lonely road, and you’ve only taken the first few steps until now. If you’re so inclined, I can help you take the next ones. I was just like you once, and to be a champion is to be the torch that lights the way for others to follow. Will you accept my help?”

The spirit held out its hand, and Alforde considered the offer for a moment.

“I have my duties to attend to here,” he said cautiously.

The spirit laughed. “And I wouldn’t dream of taking you from them. The choice is yours, armorsoul. Let me guide you to greatness, or struggle on your own.”

Alforde was ultimately a practical being. The way he saw the world, there was no inherent value in struggling for the sake of struggling, so he decided to take the spirit’s hand and see what it could teach him.

“Ah, I see,” the spirit said as its fingers closed around Alforde’s gauntlet. “Here’s the first step.”

An icy sensation spread up through Alforde’s arm and into his pauldrons, then surged through the rest of his armor. It wasn’t painful or unpleasant; if anything, it felt quite refreshing.

[Class lost! You are no longer a Clunker!]

The spirit grinned at him once more. “Now, let’s see what you’ll become.”

The world shimmered and before he knew it, Alforde found himself standing in a wide open space.

The spirit was a few feet away from him, and it drew its sword.

“Show me what you can do, young champion!”

Alforde readied Slammy, and charged.

Main Character Sheets:

Vee Vales

Primary Class: Ghost Maestro (Locksmagister University), Level 27

Secondary Class: Dungeon Master (Oar’s Crest), Level 17

Tertiary Class: Guy-Who-Takes-Things-WAY-Too-Far (Self), Level 5

Might: 10

Wit: 27

Faith: 19

Adventurousness: 6

Ambition: 12

Plotting: 15

Charisma: 10

Devious Mind: 18

Leadership: 15

Guts: 11

Intimidating Presence: 8

Citizenship: 16

Public Relations: 4

Alforde Armorsoul:

Primary Class: Hammer Afficionado (Self), Level 20

Secondary Class: Right-hand man (Vee Vales), Level 12

Tertiary Class: Dungeon Champion (Oar’s Crest), Level 13 (+1)

Additional Class: Clunker (Vee Vales), Level 1 Class Removed

Might: 33 (+1)

Wit: 11

Faith: 24

Adventurousness (Bound – Vee Vales): 8

Endurance: 16

Intimidating Presence: 11

Heart of a Champion: 3

Citizenship (Bound – Vee Vales): 6

Vigilance: 5

Reginald:

Primary Class: Core Spirit (Unknown), Level ???

--~%@(%$@ &% (*$ #&#e !i$$ (#$%#$%#$@!)~--, #$v@& ????

Secondary Class: Loudmouth (Self), Level 39

Tertiary Class: Majordomo (Vee Vales), Level 11

Additional Class: Announcer (Vee Vales), Level 6

Might: 1

Wit: 30

Faith: 10

Ambition: 25

Greed: 21

Deceptiveness: 28

Manipulativeness: 35

F^#$#$%@#

Loyalty: 43

Patience: 12

[#@$%%^*!#@__--#%]

Citizenship (Bound – Vee Vales): 4