I don’t have much time to write here. Daphne’s hurt. Well, not really, some jerk shot her with an arrow, and it tore through her leathery hide. An inch to the left and it would have hit a nerve, rendering her flightless. She’ll be okay, but I can’t help but freak out a bit. Here’s what happened:

Orders were to fly to Osgiliath to oversee the attack on the city. Seriously, when is that city ever not under attack? Such a drama queen. The first few days were kind of boring until we got the catapult up and running. I spent all afternoon launching boulders at structures. It was just like that game Angry Crebain!

Daphne was itching to fly again so I tore myself away from the catapult. I do my best to fly her at least once a day and I wasn’t gonna make my little girl wait any longer. She waited patiently long enough and only ate three orc peons that whole time.

I figured it would be just as much fun to scare the pants off some soldiers of Gondor. If I had known it would put my poor sweet innocent Daphne in danger, I would have kept her on the ground and let her rip apart all the orcs she wanted while I kept playing live Angry Crebain with the catapult.

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As we flew around, Daphne spotted something that looked tasty on one of the higher walls. Wouldn’t you know it, it was that kid from earlier without his bodyguards and holding my boss’s ring up to me. By the looks of him, he was on something, probably those mushrooms. Poor wasted youth. I think he expected me to land Daphne and retrieve it, but it was gonna be so much easier just to let her devour him, digest the ring on the way back to Mordor and let her void it right in front of the Great Eye. I can think of no better way to make a statement about Sauron’s leadership priorities.

Of course, that plan was ruined as the kid’s portly friend decided it would be a good time to wrestle. Junkies, am I right? At that moment, some David Wenham-looking guy hit Daphne with an arrow, and we were forced to land.

And guess what? I’ve just been handed a dispatch containing more specific information about my orders. Maybe the boss has come to his senses and is now gonna give me an assignment more suited to my abilities. But first, I’m gonna feed a few more orcs to Daphne. She’s had a hard day.