By the time I was considered to be six, I'd already learned how to live by myself. Claire spent the next few years making sure I knew how to tend to the farm and knew what foods I could eat. Teaching me how to hunt was the most difficult part. I was too small to use hunting tools so we ended up using traps. We ventured inside the forest together so I could get familiar with it. Claire showed me what plants I could pick and wanted to avoid. When we set traps to hunt she even taught me what animals were okay to kill and which to set free. Naturally, I thought it was cruel to kill so I often fought back against Claire's wishes. Each time a rabbit or a fox was caught, Claire always had to be the one to kill it.
"It's alright to value an animal's life, Rae. But our actions are also part of the natural cycle of this island. You can't avoid it forever," she told me.
"Killing is wrong!"
"Yes, but that's why we thank the animal for its life. Have you ever seen me waste any part of the animals I catch? I'm always thankful for their existence."
"But they look so sad!"
"Do you think a bear would stop attacking you if you looked sad?"
"No. Are there bears here? Will they eat me?"
"No, they know not to."
"Is it because they know you're strong, Momma?"
Claire giggled, "That's exactly why. And I'm not your mom. In front of us was a rabbit that had just been trapped. Claire lent me the knife again but this time held it with me. "What if we do it together?"
I nodded and Claire drove the knife down for me. The squirming rabbit only squirmed louder in pain until its life left the body. "I'm sorry, mister rabbit."
"You're a very kind child, Rae."
That was my first kill. It never got any easier. But it was necessary for me to learn as Claire would eventually leave me on my own from time to time. She disappeared for days at a time. It wasn’t often but everything I learned was to make I was able to handle it.
-
I was thrown into the forest on the third anniversary of when I was found, my birthday. "I need to know you can handle this," she told me. "I don't care how long it takes you, make your way home. I'll be waiting."
I thought she was actually going to leave me to die. There I was, in the middle of nowhere with no sense of where home was. I never have been this deep in the forest so everything was unfamiliar. I was too terrified to do even more for a while. I hoped that my desperate crying would be enough for Claire to go back on her decision. I shouldn't have expected it to work on that cold woman.
I calmed down once I realized this was why she had been teaching me all this for so long. I knew how to make a fire, how to find food, how to kill, and how to get clean water. Claire had faith in me, so I had to find that faith in myself. Still, this was the first time I was ever lost and alone. Walking around that forest wasn't any less scary. All I had were the clothes on my back and a bag made out of pelts. Claire wasn't kind enough to leave me with a knife or anything else. I had to make everything I needed from the things I could find lying around. Once I made a snare and caught a fox, I used its bones to make a knife and prepared it for dinner as the sun began to set. Unlike that woman who can light a fire with the snap of her fingers, I had to use sticks, rocks, and dead leaves.
That first night was the scariest. I couldn't see a thing and nearly every noise I heard was unrecognizable. I never knew if a predator was nearby and if they would leave me alone like Claire said. I was alone this time, there was no reason not to eat me. Exhaustion forced me to fall asleep that night.
The next morning, I found the river that I thought would lead me home. After all, there was one near the entrance. After a day of following it, I found a cat like the ones that ran around my house, only this one was a dozen times bigger. It was resting on top of a Boulder by the flowing river and it immediately took notice to me. It was a cougar.
I froze up the second and it stood up and I didn't know what to do. The cougar jumped down and got close enough to start sniffing me. I guess it decided it was I wasn't a threat or if it knew I was Claire's but it lay down in front of me. Like a stupid child, I petted it to see if it was friendly.
"You're a nice miss kitty," I told it once it started to purr. It even meowed to respond.
I stayed with it for a while as it didn't mind my presence at all. Any other person would be dead, but Claire's words turned out to be true. She said I didn't have to worry about being attacked. Even the animals knew about Claire’s presence. There wasn’t a species on that island that dared to do anything that would anger her.
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I spent the night with the cougar, it allowed me to cuddle with it as I slept. I said my goodbyes the next morning and continued my journey. After what felt like hours of wandering, I heard it before I saw it—a gentle roar that grew louder with each step. My anxiety grew as I followed the sound, and then, suddenly, there it was. A waterfall, tall and proud, cascaded from the moss-covered cliffs above into a pristine, mist-covered lake below. The waterfall's white veil contrasted beautifully with the lush greenery surrounding it. As the water plummeted down, it transformed into a fine mist creating a magical play of rainbows and shimmering droplets. The lake, serene and inviting, mirrored the scene above like a mirror reflecting a world unseen. Its water is unexplainingly clear, and the marine life in full display.
There was a path that allowed me to set camp right beside the lake. I knew I went the wrong way and only went deeper, but for now, I was okay with it. This beautiful place was where Claire found me.
While taking a bath I noticed the cougar was watching over me from on top of the waterfall. I could feel her gaze like a thick blanket over me. It was unlike anything I felt before, like it was trying to say something.
A thick and heavy growl shook the brushes that were past the majestic lake. Then I heard what sounded like laughter. Being a curious girl, I stepped deeper inside the woods to investigate. The thin veil of mist that floated around quickly turned into fog. A fog that formed a wall that hid the rest of the forest. Claire never told me I wasn't supposed to go in there. I guess she never expected me to travel this deep inside.
The second I entered the wall of fog it became hard to breathe. The atmosphere was heavy and cold like invisible walls were being closed in on me. My legs felt like they were being encased in ice, each step becoming harder to make. The further I went in, the thinner the breathable air became. Before I could turn back, that's when I saw it.
The island houses many wild animals. Horses are nothing new to me so that's what I thought this animal was. It wasn't until it turned its head to look at me that I saw a horn in between the top of its eyes. A unicorn, just like in the books Claire let me read. Although it wasn't white like in the stories. To fog obstructed most of the creature’s beauty, but its dark chocolate mane was a sharp contrast to the gray and white around me.
The unicorn looked confused at the sight of me. I felt like I was looking at something I shouldn’t. I knew I was now in a place I shouldn’t be.
Wanting to get a closer look, I took a step forward. The unicorn promptly left before I could get any closer.
A loud growl shouts behind me right before being picked up by the back of my shirt. The cougar had come to take me away from that place. It dropped me off outside and hissed at me for doing something so stupid.
"Is that place a bad place?"
The cougar meowed, able to understand me. This wasn't the first time an animal could. Even though the large cat spoke no words, I could still understand what it meant. Not even the cats living around the cabin are able to do that.
"I'm not supposed to go in there, huh?"
Again, the large cat meowed and again, I heard it. It told me no.
-
It took me two days to find my way to a familiar part of the forest. The cougar accompanied me until then. Finding my way home wasn’t difficult after that, just time-consuming.
Claire was tending to the farm when I arrived. "What took you so long?" is all she said.
"I made a friend! A big kitty!"
Claire took my hand to walk me inside. "C'mon, you need a bath. Tell me all about it then."
"She was real nice. She saved me when I entered that thick fog."
"You went that deep?" Claire's voice became harsh. "Rae, you're not allowed in there. It'll kill you if you stick around for too long."
"A saw a big horsey with a horn!."
Claire sighed and kneeled in front of me. She wiped away the dirt on my face. "It's called a unicorn. Don't ever go back there, okay?"
"Okay,"
"But you passed the test, good job."
We rarely took baths together. Claire would wash me but never cleaned herself along with me.
That bath was different. It felt like it was a reward even if wasn’t. I wasn’t about to bring it up either. Any time where it was just the two of us together was time cherished. It was just an nibble of Claire’s affection.
That's all I wanted, really.
"How come the unicorn can be in the fog and I can't?"
"I'll tell you why when you're older, but it's for their protection."
"Protection?"
"Yes. Humans are not supposed to know they exist. That's why no one else lives here besides the two of us."
"There are other humans?"
"There's an entire world outside this island, Rae. One day, I'll be able to take you to see it."
"I'll meet other people?"
Claire giggled and wrapped her arms around my tiny little body: the first hug she willingly gave me. For anyone else, it’s just an ordinary gesture but for me, it carried so much weight. Her arms were warm, strong but tender. That fleeting moment felt like an eternity, longing for it when it eventually left.
"You have your whole life ahead of you, kid."
I felt her lips lay on top of the back of my wet hair. It was comforting and almost like she was apologizing for leaving me in the woods to fend for myself.
"I should have told you about the fog, I'm sorry," she whispered. "Listen, I have to leave the Island soon, so I trust you to take care of the house for me."
"How come I can't go with you, Mommy?"
"My name is Claire. And it's far more dangerous taking you with me than leaving you here."
"Why do you have to leave? For how long?"
"A day or two. I won't be gone long. I have to fight the things that want to hurt the animals that live outside of how home."
"Monsters?"
"Yes, monsters."