Claire stayed for the night and left for the meeting the following morning, ignoring me as I said bye to her.
.
Denzel was in his office, simultaneously watching the morning news and having a phone call. I wanted to ask him about Claire after all my thinking the previous night. I wanted to know what the world thinks of her, remembering that there is a statue of her in front of the Knight’s embassy building. There was no way she would have a statue if she wasn’t liked or seen as a hero. Surely she was still a good person despite all my growing doubts.
I examined Denzel’s office while I waited for him to become free. It wasn’t the first time I did, but I now had the time to look around and not get distracted.
The walls, adorned with a tapestry of framed photographs, echoed with the laughter and joys of the few children he had nurtured and raised at the orphanage. Each picture told a story of resilience and hope, capturing moments of triumph and love amidst the challenges these kids had faced. Their smiles, frozen in time and in a home where their life had value. They were all dated, the most recent being captured three years ago. Each photo captured the growth of the kids until they became old enough to leave.
The shelves were a treasure trove of ancient texts and scriptures, alongside contemporary books that held stories of resilience and faith. Amidst the books were also shining golden objects that I could never make sense of their purpose. It all looked like treasure but in the middle was a small statue of a praying woman in a robe. It looked out of place as she was just a colorless gray made out of stone compared to all the metal around her. Even with a closer look, I couldn’t tell who this woman was, not that I would recognize her if I could.
On Denzel's desk were three small framed photos amongst scattered stacks of unorganized papers and unopened mail. One of those photos was of him with six others grouped together. Denzel was visibility the youngest out of all of them. The big brute Earendel was towering over all of them, not having the scar he has now. The background wasn’t anything special with just unfocused buildings behind them. The photo was stamped with a date, twenty-five years ago.
The other photograph next to it was similar, but the buildings around them were all black and accessorized with gold. Unlike the first where everyone was stiff and serious, here everyone was in the middle of laughter and distracted by one another. The biggest difference was that it included Claire. She was annoyed, her head wrapped down around the arm of a brown-skinned and lightly clothed man. His bottom was only barely covered by an earthly-colored skirt that still managed to be rich in color with shades of jade green and ruby red. He wore something like a crown, a headdress made out of rich red, white, and green feathers. His sharp contrast of attire compared to everyone else wore was too unique to ever forget about it.
I turned my eyes on Claire. Her hair was braided and the color was different, a dark red instead of the strawberry blonde she had now. Claire was still wearing the plain and loose style of clothes that she always wore. Besides her hair, she looked exactly the same as she did now. Claire hasn’t aged a day.
I looked over to Denzel, whose skin was now a bit worn, and wrinkling lines were beginning to form on his face. His hair had strands of grey hair that I hadn’t noticed before. Even his expression looked like he was tired and exhausted compared to his bright and cheerful grin in the photos. Time wears all things down. Time cannot be stopped. Everything is fated to die. Death is the one thing that is an unbreakable promise.
I realized that the stories of Claire’s adventures and battles Frie told me don’t make sense in the context of the passage of time. Claire always talked in a way like she’d been alive longer than any person could. She never bothered to tell me she was immortal. She didn’t even try and keep it a secret. I had all the clues laid out in front of me but I just never bothered to pick up on them.
I was at the cusp of beginning to question her age. I even thought about asking Denzel about it. If I would have asked, I would have been told. Claire’s immortality wasn’t a big secret and so Denzel thought I already knew.
Unfortunately, before I could get into deeper thinking, the final photograph took all my attention away. There were seven completely new people gathered around Claire, who sat in front of all of them. It was dated recently, a few days before my declared birthday, the day Claire found me.
A brown-skinned man stood in the middle, looking similar but younger than the other one. He was dressed exactly the same. It couldn’t be anyone else but that guy’s son. But unlike his father, the Knight skin’s was covered in black and red markings and symbols too small for me to read.
To his left was an angry-looking man with a sharp fringe and long black hair half tied back in a ponytail. This scowling man was giving the camera the middle finger. The light pink-haired woman next to him was the only one not looking at the camera and instead was captured scolding the taller man.
Next to her was another woman with deep blonde hair that matched the color of her dress. It was embezzled with jewelry and fur on the back that made it look like royalty. Her posture was anything but.
From the middle, on the right, a short, short, and pale black-haired man hid his eyes from the sunlight under his umbrella. Next to him, a tanned and giant blonde man held two fingers up, the peace sign, with a giant grin on his face.
And finally, on the far right, a dark-skinned bald man in a business suit was captured in the middle of a sigh, like he didn’t want to be there. He was the only one holding onto something, what looked like a stack of folders.
I compared all three photos with each other trying to figure out who everyone was. With a bit of thinking, I realized that I was looking at the current and past generations of Claire’s personal class of Knights. They held the highest rank in the organization, above the rank that one could rarely achieve. The class that can only be obtained by Claire’s invitation These were the strongest and most famous heroes of the world. The current generation was who Claire was meeting with.
And I would meet them all in the following hours.
-
“It’s not like you to wait for me to finish my call. What’s up?”
What I wanted to ask wouldn’t leave my throat. It was stuck like I was choking on it. The photos had distracted me and all I could think about were all the people Clair knew. I wondered if any of them could call Claire a friend like Bellas. I wondered if any of them looked at Claire as a human.
I asked, “Did you know that old man Bellas?”
“Of course. He was the man who gave me a second chance in life. I became a knight because of him. The world lost a wise, kind, and great man when he passed. I remember when-”
“He asked Claire to become human,” I cut him off. “What did he mean by that? Is she not?”
Denzel tilted his head in confusion. He was giving great thought on what to say. “She’s human, like you and me. Claire just needs a reminder to be kind once in a while is all. Why do you ask?”
“Did she care about him?”
“Out of everyone, Bellas knew Claire the longest. He’s one of the few people I’ve seen where she drops her act around. They were best friends. No one knew her as he did. Not many people could get her to smile like he did.”
“She wasn’t nice to him when I met him.”
“Probably because she was mad that he was on his finals days. Claire isn’t really the best at expressing her emotions. She would rather mask them, pretending to get rid of her humanity. That's what Bellas meant when he asked her to become human.”
“I think Bellas wanted me to not live with Claire anymore, like you and the doctor. But why did he ask Claire to make me her daughter right before he died?
“When Claire first brought you to us, she had this look that I’ve never seen before. I never thought it possible. It was like she found something she lost. But she didn’t know what to do with you or where you came from. We all agreed that it was best to leave you in her care until she figured that out. You weren’t supposed to be with her for so long. Now that you've seen how she is, you can understand why.”
“Then why didn’t she bring me here sooner?
“Bellas took your existence as a sign from The Goddess. He thought that you were placed on this earth just for Claire. Having her raise you was his idea. He thought her absence was because his wish was coming true. Who knows why she didn’t bring you earlier. She hasn’t told me.”
I wished I had more time to get to know Bellas. I should have put more effort into trying to talk to him. I knew very little about him. Everything I would learn about him happened after his death. There wasn’t someone who believed in Claire more than him. He was the only living human who knew every secret Claire kept. Bellas didn’t ask if I liked living with Claire to tell me there were better options. He wasn’t trying to take me away. He was testing me. Bellas wanted to know if I loved Claire despite all her neglect. He believed I was born to break through Claire. That it was my destiny.
But Claire doesn’t believe in destiny.
If only I would have asked him one simple question.
I asked Denzel what I initially wanted to know but was to scared to hear it. “Is my mom a good person?”
“Do you love her?”
That question stumped me. What did that even mean? Claire was all I knew growing up. It was only in the past year that I would explore things beyond her. I’ve read about love. I knew about romantic love between two people and the vow to always be together until death. I knew about love between friends, people who enjoyed each other’s company. I knew about parental love, a bond so strong that a parent would trade their life for their child. Claire refused to give me that love. She refused to call me her daughter. She never once attempted to learn what I like or get to know me. She only allowed me to do what I felt like, which was to become strong like her. At one point I stopped seeing her as a mother. She was more like my teacher or a master.
The three-tailed fox from the zoo said that every animal that comes from The Goddess’ realm could feel a bond to each other and to the Goddess. I too was blessed like them, born in a place that was connected to that realm. But I never felt that connection. I was an anomaly. I was different. Different from everyone inside the Garden and everyone outside. I felt lonely thinking about that.
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My soul charged up like I was in battle. I thought about just how lonely I’d been all this time. I was abandoned, unwanted, and was just a project to Claire. I wanted to make Claire proud because those were the only moments when my loneliness eased.
The night before, I made up my mind that she could never love me. I made up my mind to leave her behind and stay with Denzel.
But now, I still felt that I was hers. She was my mom despite what she says and no one could replace her. Despite all the neglect and the ideas of who she was that shattered, I still felt like I was supposed to be with her.
And then I felt it. A little tug inside my heart pulled and connected me to a string. My life essence was now connected to an endless pool of a others. I was only there for half a second before being forced back. I was one with Claire for that brief moment. It was enough to feel the general direction of where she was and how far away. I could feel the exhaustion she felt. It was just too much and it was like it was crushing me. But I also felt that her soul was connected to something else, a stream or string that tried to connect to mine.
Even though what I felt was too heavy and overbearing that it stopped my heart for that moment, I knew that it wasn’t the pressure that kicked me out. My soul wanted to stay connected because it belonged. I couldn’t find a reason why I still cared about Claire so much despite how she was treating me. Now I could put it into words. I was able to grab a piece of the Claire she ran away from.
That was my love.
“I think so.”
“Even if she won’t ever love you back?”
“Why are you asking that? Answer my question.”
The room was now silent. So silent that I could hear the winds shaking the windows. Denzel just looked at me contemplating if he should tell me. The air calmed for a bit and I could hear my heartbeat.
“I think she’s a good person,” Denzel finally answered. “The stuff in the subway when she took you out to the city. Is this what’s it about?”
“Bellas asked her why she still allows humans to exist. He called us parasites and that we didn’t deserve her. He said she’s the enemy of humanity and savior at the same time. I didn’t get it then but I do now. If she hates people that much, why does she still fight to keep us all alive but will let someone die knowing she can help?”
“That’s a question you have to ask her herself.”
“Then take me so I can talk to her right after the meeting.”
“It just started, it’ll be a couple hours.”
“I don’t care. Take me.”
-
The plaza was as lively as the first time I came here. Not even the wind from the approaching storm was keeping everyone from their leisure. Now that I lived in the city for a while, nothing that was happening caught my attention. It was normal and I wasn’t a fish out of water anymore.
While we approached the entrance to the plaza, a little kid ran into Denzel’s prosthetic leg, knocking it out of him. The kid apologized in horror but Denzel laughed it off, showing the boy that it could go back in place without issue.
“Look where you’re running next time,” Denzel patted the boy's head. “You can get hurt if you’re not careful.”
“Do you have kids?” I asked him after he boy ran back to his parents.
“No. The kids I cared for are enough for me.”
“Why?”
“Hmm. I think it’s better to help the children that are going through the same things I did.”
“What things?”
“Let’s find a place to sit first. I didn’t put on my leg the right way and it’s killing me. Might as well tell you more while I adjust it. There’s still time to waste, anyways.”
When the current king of Sul was crowned, Denzel was barely any older than I was. He lived in a small country east of here. This country used to be part of the old empire of Sul before it separated and gained its independence. Denzel mentioned it before, but the king of Sul thought himself as great as the first emperor. Like his predecessor who united the war-torn and broken nations into one empire, this king wanted to bring Sul to its former glory.
Brutal wars were not common after The Endless World War. Revolutions and disputes happened but few wars happened for the purpose of gaining land, much less the tactics of taking innocent lives. The world understood that such vile actions made it easier for the plague to be able to corrupt life. There were many things that were taboo because of that fear, but the king didn’t care. The annexation of Denzel’s home was a brutal one. It left him an orphan, living in a destroyed and desolate town, only occupied by the soldiers who enslaved him.
Every day he was forced to do hard labor just to try to be fed. There were many times when he would go for days without anything to eat or a bed to sleep. There was never a day where Denzel thought it wasn’t going to be his last. Nobody was kind to him as the soldiers saw orphaned kids as nothing more than dirty stains. He suffered this hell before eventually being taken to a camp filled with others like him.
Despite being treated less than human, Denzel was able to make friends and bare the work he was doing. It was the little joys that helped him push through. Kids would then suddenly vanish without a trace after a while. Nobody knows where they went. Rumors began that all the kids who disappeared were killed because they began to be inflicted with the Plague. Eventually, Denzel’s friends started to disappear one by one.
With the few friends he had left, Denzel tried to escape before it happened to him. For whatever reason or a miracle, Denzel was the only one who wasn’t killed during the escape. He ran until he couldn’t breathe and passed out when he could no longer move.
When he woke up he found himself in the middle of nowhere and had no sense of where to go next. He was starving and dehydrated but couldn’t find water no matter how much he looked. He escaped to only guarantee his death. All he could do was pray.
He prayed to The Goddess to destroy the kingdom that took his life away. He prayed to be given the chance to get his revenge.
When Denzel got so weak that he couldn’t lift himself up anymore, that’s when he met Bellas. Bellas found Denzel by pure luck. He was only in the area, walking by near the end of his spiritual pilgrimage. Denzel couldn’t bring himself to be relieved that someone found him anymore. He didn’t want to suffer anymore and just wanted to die. Even if he was saved, he thought he was just going to go to the same hell he escaped from. Denzel asked Bellas to kill him.
Bellas was never a believer in luck. He viewed Denzel’s presence as a sign from The Goddess. A fated encounter which she pushed for Bellas to fulfill whatever purpose she willed. Denzel was nursed back to health and traveled with Bellas. The pilgrimage took a year to end, but in that year Denzel grew to be inspired by Bellas. He had seen the worst in men, but now he saw the best. Denzel was saved from letting his anger and hate of the world overtake his heart.
Wanting to walk the path Bellas once did, Denzel became a Knight and was the youngest person to ever be promoted to the highest class, First. Exceptionally strong people like him get Claire’s attention. Only a year after being trained by her, Claire accepted him into her personal class.
His exceptional achievements let it get to his head. He grew to be overconfident in his skill. That mistake cost him his leg, during a mission that should have been easy. During his time as a Knight, he learned of the reasons for his enslavement as a child. With nothing left to do, he wanted to do good in the world just as Bellas did. He opened up his orphanage in the kingdom that he hates for those very reasons. All he wanted was to help the kids who become abandoned by the country, no matter how little difference it made. His orphanage is the only one in the country, only forced to be allowed because of the special privilege he had for who he used to be.
See Sul, but the capital city of Isuel especially prides itself on its well-kept and ideal values to be the peak of civilization and a perfect utopia. A city where all are happy. Orphans are seen as too much of a blemish to fit that ideal. How can there be a city where everyone is prospering if such a concept of a parentless child exists? The ideal family has no room for children not of blood. Instead, the public believes they are taken by kind families in the neighboring countries. But that’s just one of many lies that hide the shadows in the shining city. A darkness that everyone is aware of but turns a blind eye to.
The kids are actually sent to camps to work until they’re taken away. Then young ones disappear once they reach a certain age. Anyone older is worked until they die. Denzel never told me where all the kids disappeared. He already told me much more than I needed to know. If he had told me what I would learn in seven years, it wouldn’t have changed anything anyway. I couldn’t do anything about it then even if I wanted to.
All Denzel wanted was to spare at least of few of those kids from receiving that fate. To spare any kid he found before the city got to them first. No child should go through what he did.
Hearing all that made me mad. I was told and learned nothing but bad things that this country had done and was doing. There was an evil king and nobody was doing a thing about it. I never even heard a person in the city say one bad thing about him. It was like they were all blind. Denzel knew everything that was happening and hadn’t stopped it.
“Can’t you stop that stupid king?”
“I tried before. I didn’t change anything. I can’t do anything more than I’m allowed to.”
“What’s stopping you?”
“Claire. Think about it. What do you think would happen if only people with the power capable of fighting back against The Plague suddenly interfered in the affairs of the world? What if someone decides to side with one nation fighting against another? It would mean that power can now be bought. That it can now be used against them.”
“That’s a stupid rule.”
“But necessary to keep the balance. It’s too powerful to be used as a tool for war.”
“That’s the thing that kills the monsters, right? Why can’t anyone use it? What happens if you don’t use a sword like Claire’s? Do they not die?”
“It’s just a lot harder. The edge of her sword is made out of another gift from The Goddess. A metal that’s able to incinerate the source of the corruption in the beasts. Anything else would be like trying to punch through a wall. You’re in Third Class now, right? If you move up to Second you’re given your own weapon forged out of that metal.”
“Why there?”
“Well, there’s not much of it to go around. That’s why we still use weapons that are primitive to what is used now. You also have to prove that you’re able to handle it. Like when you broke your leg, when you’re strong enough to hunt down a beast that strong without issues you would move up.”
“There’s no way anyone can fight something that scary like the wolfman thing.”
“Generally you don’t do it alone. It takes a well-trained and coordinated platoon. Even those in First Class don’t fight alone.”
“And Claire was having me doing alone?!”
“She was testing you.”
“Yeah, I know that! She wanted to see if I could handle being with her on her journey, but I failed…Just how strong does the monster get?”
“Depends. Some get skin so thick that it’s impossible to penetrate with regular weapons. Some get so fast that it takes a well-thought-out plan to capture it. Then there are the ones who can break even the hardest metals. It all depends. But for you to already be Third Class and do it by yourself is unheard of. You might even reach First faster than I did. That’s when the real fun begins,” Denzel laughed.
“And the people Claire is talking to? You were part of that group. Are the monsters they fight that strong that they can destroy the world?”
“Not the world, but they can all change it. For whatever reason, every few years one pops up and it takes all of us to take them down if Claire isn’t around to help. Even so, if it wasn’t for Claire’s existence in the first place, we would never have the power to them.”
“What do they look like? Are they giants?”
Denzel chuckled, rubbing my back. “Sometimes. Every life that gets corrupted eventually mutates into something else if left unchecked. Most become ugly monster versions of animals in fiction. The last one showed up eight years ago. A giant sea monster as big as the city. Real ugly too with tentacles on its chin. It took all of them.”
“Whoa. And Clair is getting them all together again?
“Sure doesn’t happen often.”
“Then what’s the meeting about? Does she know who is making the artificial ones with magic? Does she have a plan to stop them?”
“If I could know I would be in there right now. My best guess is that she’s explaining her theories and thoughts. There’s a lot we don’t know about the Plague. There are very few people who know that it can destroy all life. Whoever is doing it knows that too. The only ones who know are The Knights and the leaders of the world. But the way they’re doing it now would take centuries if not a millennium. Even if it is just to break the seal on whatever the plague is, the four Titans exist to kill it when it does. Honestly, I can’t make sense of any of it.”
“Why would someone do that?”
“Your guess is as good as mine.”
“Is the world going to end?”
“Claire thinks it already did a long time ago. At least it ended for her. What kind of life can she live if her only purpose isn’t even hers.”
“What do you mean? ”
Denzel laughed again, looking at the sky. His eyes squint taking notice of something above but I don’t look. “Out of all the things, I don’t see the reason why she’s keeping that from you. Funny that we’re in the only place where you can’t learn much about her. If we were anywhere else, you would see just how much-”
Denzel suddenly stood, he’s eyes widening but not leaving the sky. It was enough to grab my attention too. Up high by the approaching storm clouds, a black circle slowly became bigger and bigger as it fell directly down on us. As it approached, its brown color became visible and so did the twisted wood making a spearhead. My brain took too long to register what was going to happen.
My body was jolted up by Denzel sprinted as fast as possible away from the plaza. My eyes could barely see over his shoulders, but I saw the massive wooden spiraled weapon was now double the size of the embassy building. Denzel cursed, picking up speed to match a jaguar. But even he noticed it too late. The cone made out of giant tree roots crashed directly into the building. The explosion’s boom screeched into my ears before popping them silent a second later. Then the shockwave launched viscous dust and thousands of now broken pieces of the building faster than Denzel could outrun. The last thing I can remember was both of our bodies being flung into the air right after Denzel wrapped his entire body around me, protecting me.