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Death is a Suggestion [LitRPG Necromancer Comedy]
6. Tragedy, Death, and a Rise From It

6. Tragedy, Death, and a Rise From It

Colin gasped. He spat blood. Pink-tinged bubbles burst at the corner of his mouth. Clutching his chest, he fell to the ground.

“Healer! Heal thyself!” Levi snapped, tense.

Captain Tash shook her head. “He can’t. The one person healers cannot heal is themselves.”

Levi wrinkled his nose. He scowled at Captain Tash. “What the hell? Why do you have to ruin my dreams? Colin’s dreams? He’s bleeding out!”

Soldiers stepped out of the woods around her. They closed in around the two of them. Blood dripped from some of their weapons and splashed on their white uniforms.

“We knew we weren’t likely to win against the Rosado Empire. We were prepared to lose this battle from the start. But if you’d stayed, if you’d stood and fought, you might have become true heroes.” She sighed. “Not for you, though. You had to run.”

“True heroes? What, like Brooke and Jake? Be out there on the battlefield right now, headless, super dead?” Levi pointed out.

“We did not know that Blatt would be there,” she said evenly.

“Yeah, well, now that we do know, can you fault me for running?”

“Yes. And like all the others, you will be slaughtered.” She shook her head at him. “I really had high hopes for your group. Especially that Hero. But you just had to corrupt them all.”

“I did what?” Levi asked. He rolled his eyes. “Oh, come on.”

“For the record, I suggested slaughtering you on the first day for the good of the batch. But the higher-ups refused. We needed all the men we could summon, they said. And look where that got us.”

“Why summon us at all? Why push us to level ten? What’s the point?” Levi asked. He spread his hands.

“Free cannon fodder that’s powerful enough to wipe out battalions of the enemy army. Cannon fodder that we can summon five at a time, train in a week, and trample the world with. What’s not to love? You wouldn’t know, but we’ve swept through all our neighboring countries with these strategies. We were once a small, entrenched mountainous country. Now, we are a grand empire. All thanks to our hardworking summoners. Thank the gods for giving us the first summoner and allowing us to become so dominant.” She spread her hands to the sky as if in prayer.

“And uh, people like Blatt?”

Her nose wrinkled. “There are other countries with summoners. And occasionally, you freaks get summoned naturally. It is truly unfortunate, but there’s nothing we can do.”

Levi nodded. “Right, right. And you don’t want us to get far beyond level ten, because how the hell do you control a force of nature like that Blatt guy, right? So you train us to the bare minimum, pitch us against humans on the battlefield—I’m guessing humans don’t give much EXP—”

“That would be correct.”

“—and then use us as weapons until we break or die, at which point, you summon more disposable ‘heroes.’ Fuck, man. I thought I was callous, with a sad, shriveled heart, but that’s cold. That’s ice cold.” Levi whistled. He shook his head. “I mean, smart as fuck. I get it. Wow. Fantastic strategy. But fuck. Cold. As. Ice.”

Beside him, Colin sagged. He dropped to the ground.

Impatience flickered in Captain Tash’s eyes. She stepped forward.

Levi took a deep breath. I’m running out of time. She’s running out of patience. I’ve only got a few more seconds before she takes my head. Do I have any plans?

He wracked his brains. Nothing. Emptiness.

Alright. Well, fuck it. Let’s stall for those last precious seconds. “One last question. How long did it take you to get strong enough to easily suppress a level ten Hero?”

She laughed. “My whole life. I was bred for this role. My parents were chosen for their physical characteristics and high mana counts, and their parents, and their parents before them. I was trained from childhood to absorb mana and use it to enhance my body when I fight. My masters were grandmasters of the sword, and taught me more swordplay than you could dream of knowing. If not for you freaks, I would be one of the strongest fighters in the country—no, on the planet.”

Levi clicked his tongue. “And a Hero spawns in, trains for five days, and can fight you on even footing. Ouch. That must smart.”

Captain Tash lifted her sword. “Are those your last words?”

“Nah. My last words are fuck you—” Levi charged her, knowing he wouldn’t land the blow.

Her sword struck. He threw himself forward. Even as his head separated from his body, he lunged his weight at her. His body fell forward, and his sword cut the shallowest of slices on her arm.

With his dying effort, he grinned.

His head hit the floor. Everything went dark. He heard the Captain walk away, and the soldiers troop after her.

So, this is it.

Heads survive longer than I thought without a body, huh?

Cold sunk in. The darkness grew deeper. His thoughts grew numb.

Oh… no. I’m losing it.

Alright, well. It was fun, I guess. See you on the other side.

Been long enough.

A hand reached out. Bloodstained, no, bloodsoaked, it landed on Levi’s severed head. Colin struggled to breathe. Each breath was a battle. His life was ending, and there was nothing he could do about it.

“M-miracle,” he murmured, tasting blood the whole way.

His body went limp. His last breath left him, and he died.

--

Levi opened his eyes. He sat up. Touched his chest. His neck. His head.

“What the fu—”

He put his hand down and touched a cold hand. Looked up it to find Colin’s lifeless body. His hand strayed to his neck again.

“I was decapitated. I know I was. No question. And Colin’s a healer. A cleric.”

He stared at Colin. Shook his head. “No way. No fucking way. You rezzed me? How? They said… we can’t…”

Come.

He who has affinity with death, come.

Levi looked up sharply. It wasn’t the System, nor was anyone nearby, but nonetheless, a soft female voice whispered in his ear as if someone stood right next to him. “Okay, now I’m hearing things. That’s how I want to start my second life.”

A faint beckoning rose in his heart. Unbidden, his eyes moved. Toward the mountain that loomed over him. Up, up, up, toward its barren and cragged peak. Come.

“Are you a goddess? Please tell me you’re a goddess. I really thought I was going to meet a goddess, and honestly, I kind of feel cheaped out by this whole lack-of-a-goddess thing so far. I mean, have you even been isekaied if you haven’t been welcomed by a half-naked woman with giant gazongas?”

Come.

“Not the chatty type, huh?” Levi climbed to his feet. He swayed for a moment, and his vision went black. He pressed a hand against a nearby tree and waited for it to fade. “Raising me did not fix the blood-loss-from-losing-my-head problem. Noted.”

Come.

“I’m coming. Gosh, Mom.” Snarking to himself, he staggered over to Colin. He stared down at the boy in silence, then took a deep breath.

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“Let’s get moving.” Levi knelt and grabbed Colin’s arm.

It took a few tries, and many spates of waiting for the darkness to fade from his vision, but he got the boy over his shoulders in a fireman’s carry. He patted Colin’s leg. “You’re coming with me, buddy. We’re going to see the goddess. Together.”

He set off toward the mountain, following the call in his heart. One foot after another. Clambering up slippery shale and around steep cliffs. He forced his way up slopes so steep he had to pull himself up by the slender trees growing out of it, and scrambled up slippery riverbeds on all fours. Through the day and well into the night, until darkness fully enveloped him. Only the stars provided light; even the moon hid its face. Strange beasts howled and called in the distance, but Levi trudged on. The goddess was calling him, and he would Come, no matter what.

“When I see her, I’m going to make her bring you back to life,” Levi grunted aloud, as he shouldered Colin up a slender, overgrown path. “I don’t care what she says. I’m not leaving until you’re—”

He turned a corner and stood before a vast, dark cave. A pool of blood covered the entire floor of the cave, utterly still. In the depths of the cave, a huge, red heart beat over an obsidian altar. The blood dripped from the heart to the altar as the heart beat, and slid down the altar to join the pool below. The small ripples were swallowed by the pool of blood before they propagated. A thick scent of blood and rot filled the air.

Levi raised his brows. “—okay, yep, uh, might be an easier sell than I thought, buddy. Or harder! I don’t know how evil gods work in this world.”

He looked around, then raised his hands to his mouth. “Heyoooo, goddess!”

I am here.

A cold hand touched the back of his neck. For a second, he thought Colin’s body had shifted, but then another one, this one hard and bony, slid along his throat. He gulped. “Nice to meet you?”

A pale figure strode out from behind him. Half of her body was skeletal, not a scrap of flesh left. Her flesh peeled back from the other half of her body, rotting and corroding even as she stood. Where her skin remained, it was just as pale as her skeleton. If not for the garish slice of red between the bone and skin where her muscles and organs slowly rotted away, he might have mistaken her for a skeleton. On her fleshy half, she wore gauzy, white layers; they draped loosely over her skeletal half, falling to the ground at the edges. Not hiding. Not complimenting. No. Where her body became a skeleton, her clothes became a death shroud, little more than a shapeless, translucent veil. Beneath her feet, the blood pool was not disturbed in the least.

I have been watching you.

“Good? I think?”

You amuse me. She turned and sat on the altar. The Goddess of Light dislikes you, but you have pleased me greatly. I am the one who rules over Death. I am the one who allowed you to return from Death.

“Oh… that wasn’t Colin…?”

She laughed silently. Her single remaining eye, milky white with cataracts, squinted in glee. The Miracle spell has three conditions. Two are well known. One, the priest must be willing, from the bottom of their heart, with no reservations, to give up their life to restore the life of another.

“Makes sense. Prevents priest abuse,” Levi said, nodding.

Second, the deceased must have died seconds before, in a way that cut their life unfairly short. It cannot be used on those who die of old age, of disease, or as a consequence of their own foolish actions, as predetermined by the Fates.

“Yep. Unfair death clause. We don’t want anyone founding a religion and fueling their immortality with the lives of their fellow priests.”

Third. This is the unknown clause. What foolish mortals refer to as the ‘failure chance.’ This… is my clause. I am the ruler of Death. This spell is from the domain of Life. No one can pluck a death from my hands without my permission. She grinned, clenching her skeletal hand.

“Isn’t the phrase, pluck a life… no, no, no, er, never mind,” Levi said, quickly backtracking. This goddess likes me. Now isn’t the time for snark.

Ignoring him, as many wise beings are known to do, she continued. I was amused enough by you to allow you to return from beyond. And not only that, but your strange affinity. You have a deep affinity with Death, unlike any I have ever seen. Even I, Goddess of Death, do not fully understand it. I wish to know more.

Levi spread his hands. “Happy to oblige. So, uh, since I’m so amusing, would you mind bringing my buddy back to life? I mean, if we’re talking about unfair deaths, his is the most unfair. Guy did nothing wrong. Literally wouldn’t hurt a fly. I don’t think he deserves oblivion, no?”

She chuckled. Patience. In all the history of the world, no one has had a high enough affinity with Death for me to grant my unique class to them. All the other gods and goddesses have had avatars, people who have embodied their affinity to the point that they can wield the power of that very god or goddess. All save me. And those foolish deities thought that it would never happen. They staked the world’s end on it.

But here you are. Ready to be my Champion.

“Oh, neat! Awesome. Shadow Caster is great, but it’s not that great. Er, but would this class, would it possibly be…”

Necromancer.

Levi’s eyes lit up. He punched the air. “Hell yeah! Colin! You’re coming back, baby! I knew it! I knew the goddess would save you!”

You accept this class? The goddess tilted her head.

Levi gave an enthusiastic thumbs up. “It’s the highest tier of class, one granted to one person by a goddess herself, and also, all my other class options are kind of shit. Plus, it lets me bring Colin back. So yeah! Let’s do this!”

Granted.

Darkness descended around Levi. Something cold swirled inside him. Cold, but powerful. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply. Icy winds swirled around him, each of them full of strength. He called them to him, and felt the coldness inside him grow.

That is mana. Now that you are a true caster, you will need to absorb it to use spells.

Class Changed! Minimum stats assigned.

Levi opened his status sheet.

Levi | 18 | Lv 10

Class: Necromancer [SPECIAL]

Str: 10

Mag: 25

Dex: 12

Spd: 15

Def: 9

Res: 20

[Basic Swordsmanship]

[Shadow Manipulation]

[Shadow Step]

[Raise Dead]

Raise the dead. At low levels, you will only be able to raise weak undead. Higher levels will give you access to stronger undead. Undead’s stats are based on their stats in life. Raise Dead will fail on units with too high a stat total. Your stat total determines the power of Undead you can Raise.

Undead available: Zombie, Skeleton. Body condition determines the type of Undead.

“Reasonable. If I could raise something way stronger than me, this class would truly be OP,” Levi commented. Fire burned in his eyes, and he grinned to himself. The urge to level up and gain higher stats grew stronger. After all, the higher my stats are, the stronger the Undead I can raise. It doesn’t even matter too much if I have a shitty stat distribution. As long as my stat total is high, this class is OP!

Levi breathed in, gathering more mana into himself. Gently, he shifted Colin off his shoulders and went to lay him on the ground.

Here. On the altar, the goddess said, patting the stone beside her.

Levi raised his brows. He looked at the bloody, crimson floor, then shrugged to himself. Lifting his foot, he strode toward the goddess.

He’d been expecting to step into shallow blood. Maybe enough to wet his sole. Maybe ankle deep. Instead, he plunged up to his knee in blood. Startled, Levi staggered. He sloshed through the blood, off balance. Don’t fall, don’t fall, don’t fall—

He found a section of rough stone where the rock wasn’t so slippery and caught himself. He breathed out, relieved. Taking a blood bath in the mountains with no water bath in sight was not how he wanted to start his hermit life.

Gathering Colin up, he walked onward. The blood deepened as he drew closer to the altar. From his knees, to over his knees, to mid-thigh. The altar loomed high over him. He’d assumed it was waist height over a shallow pool of blood, but now it stood as tall as his shoulders. The goddess, too, was immensely larger than him. The altar had looked normal, with her sitting on it. Closer, he realized it was a matter of perspective. It was large, and she was large. Together, they looked normal. But when he and Colin joined in, the size difference became apparent.

I swear she was my size when she stepped out from behind me. Levi pursed his lips, then shrugged. Goddess stuff, I guess.

He laid Colin on the altar beside the goddess. The altar was large enough to fit Colin laying out beside her. His feet didn’t even touch her side.

She lifted her hand over Colin. Her eye shut. The half of her face that was skull continued to stare blankly into eternity.

As a bonus for your quick acceptance, I grant you a small boon. Colin’s soul will be bound to this undead. Usually, this would only be possible at the highest levels, but consider this a small advance from a goddess who expects great things.

“Thank you,” Levi said, earnestly.

I shall await you at the World’s End, my Champion. With that, she stepped back, relinquishing the altar to Levi and Colin.

He took a deep breath. The air was so thick with mana here that he almost choked on it. Just one breath, and he felt full to the bursting with mana. He held his hand out over Colin.

“Raise Dead!”

Sickly, bright-green light poured from Levi’s hand and rooted its way into Colin’s body. Torrents poured into him, filling every inch of him with green light. The cold energy escaped Levi. It seared through his hand and left him, entering Colin instead.

Fatigue came over Levi. His knees shook, and he braced himself against the altar. He forced himself to take a breath, sucking in more mana. A little more. Just a little more!

The green energy faded. Levi sagged, utterly exhausted. With effort, he gazed at his first undead. “Colin?”

Colin opened his eyes. He sat up. His gaze landed on the goddess, and he startled and jumped away, only to realize there was blood below him. He looked from Levi to the goddess, lost.

“Colin! You’re back!” Levi hugged him. He let go after a second. “Woof. Still stink though. And you’re cold as fuck.”

Colin looked around. He touched his throat, then looked at his hands. He tilted his head.

“Oh. Right. I’m a necromancer now, and you’re my first undead! Congratulations! Thanks for bringing me back, by the way. I mean, I couldn’t not return the favor, right?”

Colin smiled. He nodded.

“Can’t talk?” Levi asked.

Colin shook his head.

Levi waved his hand. “We’ll figure that out later. Thanks, by the way—” He turned to the goddess.

No one sat on the altar. In fact, it was no longer an altar, but a large boulder. And there was no blood on the floor, only the usual dirt and detritus of a cave. A wind blew, stirring up the leaves on the floor.

Levi snorted. “Guess she’s not much for goodbyes.”

Colin climbed off the stone. He patted Levi’s arm, then gestured outside and shrugged.

“What do we do now? Good question.” Levi gazed down at the battlefield below, at the red and the white armies. His eyes narrowed. “I think the first thing we do, is crush this godsforsaken country that summoned us just to use us as fodder. What do you think?”

Colin’s eyes widened. He froze. After a second, he shrugged.

“That’s right! ‘Hell yeah!’ That’s what I’m talking about.” Levi grinned down at the city below them. A second later, he turned back to Colin. “But first, you need some friends. And I need some stats.”